Ever notice their eyes go up?

[jimjohn]

yeah i do notice people doing that and it just throws me off. once they start, they just dont stop, they keep looking up there during our conversation. even people as close as my mom and bro in law do it.

 

[Anthony83]

my girlfriend has been doing this a lot lately and it is starting to piss me off. i called her out on it, and she tried to be all cute and touch the receding area right in the middle of my hairline and said 'aww i like it.' i was not amused.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Other people noticing your hair loss is unaviodable. People will stare and do what they do, which can serve as a constant reminder of your situation. I wore a hat almost all the time just for that reason. You can't blame people for looking, but staring and making comments or worse is something that those people DO have control over and should have enough sense to excersize a little common courtesy because it is rude. Many know this and just don't care. I got a gift certificate to one of my favorite restaurants for Christmas. I cashed it in and took my food out on the patio area to eat. I was in the middle of eating my food when I noticed this dude with long hair at another table just staring at me. I mean it is one thing to glance or notice because we all have eyes in our head but this guy was giving me a prolonged stare down. I tried not to notice and kept eating my food but I could feel his eyes on my bald head and was beginning to feel uncomfortable (which I'm sure he probably intended). I looked up at him and met his stare. After locking eyes for what seemed like a whole minute, I said, "Didn't your mother ever teach you that it is impolite to stare?" He shrugged me off with a smirk while shaking his head. I wound up getting a to go bag for my food, because this guy was such an a**h**. The nerve of some people, but besides speaking up against him, what can I do short of getting into a fight? It sucks because you feel put on the spot and scrutinized, we will never be able to escape the opinions of others but the real challenge is not to let other peoples opinions of you shape the way you feel about yourself. I am still struggling with this myself.

 

[barcafan]

You shoulda decked him bro. Or at least been more agressive.

 

[uncomfortable man]

If I were to throw down every time someone did something to rub me the wrong way, I would be dead or in jail right now. As good as it would feel to finally fight back, ultimately it would be a loosing battle.

 

[barcafan]

If I were to throw down every time someone did something to rub me the wrong way, I would be dead or in jail right now. As good as it would feel to finally fight back, ultimately it would be a loosing battle.

Just once in a while, man.

Make sure you can take him though.

 

[Eureka]

Id say... If some dick did that to me I'd go ape sh*t on him. I can take a joke, preferably from someone who's ultimately insecure in their own right and taking it own on my more obvious insecurities. But for just an everyday a**h**? that dude will get a punch in the face.

And with the guy in the parking lot.. He's the type of guy who you said you knew 15 years ago.. I imagine somewhere along the line he got a beating from someone.

But U.m is right for the most part.. although I think like barfcan once and awhile you need to fight back. If you just take sh*t your entire life.. this philosophy seems very negative to me.

Anyone watch the wire? When I think of people who take sh*t all the time I think of Ziggy.. And Ziggy was an idiot.

 

[s.a.f]

As for advice Monty1978, I was in your shoes many years ago. But, I failed miserably. I have been a loner and a recluse for more than a decade. All the advice I can offer you, is don't do what I have done. If you go down the long, lonely and hard path, as I have done, you will be sorry. I can truly tell you that it's no fun knowing that you have let 10 years of your life pass you by and nothing to show for it but pure emptiness, sadness, and despair.

Don't let yourself go down that road!

I can only agree with Dudemon, I've also been there I wasted my entire 20's hiding away because of hairloss. While others were out living life I dedicated myself to working and working out (I guess I was abit of a CCS).
Anyway while I'm sure that from time to time you will encouter the things you fear the most ie: mouthy dickheads, negative comments ect, I'm equally sure that the benifits of experiencing life will far outweigh the negative aspects. Just try to surround yourself with close freinds who dont care about how you look.

If I were to throw down every time someone did something to rub me the wrong way, I would be dead or in jail right now. As good as it would feel to finally fight back, ultimately it would be a loosing battle.

Just once in a while, man.

Make sure you can take him though.

Yeah TBH I'm waiting for someone to cross the line one day ...

 

[uncomfortable man]

At least I spoke up. I wouldn't have done that a year before. As far as violence goes, I have so much pent up aggression that I am afraid of what I would do in the heat of the moment. I probably would black out and not stop until he was dead, I can't have that, I have a daughter to think about. Also, if I give in to violence I am afraid that I might become intoxicated by it and begin looking for confrontations, like that woman that Charlise Theron played in the movie Monster. I don't really think I would become a serial killer, but it isn't hard to imagine how easily it could happen considering the mental psychosis (inferiority complex+supressed rage) compounded by frequent social confrontations. Feeling like it is you against the world. Some people are just dicks and as much as they deserve to have their heads smashed repeatedly in their car doors, it is not worth the consequences. But like S.A.F. said, part of me is waiting, almost expecting (maybe even wishing) for someone to bring the heat to my doorstep.
Monty, I can relate obviously. Not that it matters all that much, but I was a good nw5 by 31 and taking no meds. Our experiences are similar though. It is easy for people who haven't been there to just say "who cares what other people think", but when enough people react to you with the laughs or the disgusted looks on a regular basis, then the problem becomes tangible.

 

[barcafan]

At least I spoke up. I wouldn't have done that a year before. As far as violence goes, I have so much pent up aggression that I am afraid of what I would do in the heat of the moment. I probably would black out and not stop until he was dead, I can't have that, I have a daughter to think about. Also, if I give in to violence I am afraid that I might become intoxicated by it and begin looking for confrontations, like that woman that Charlise Theron played in the movie Monster. I don't really think I would become a serial killer, but it isn't hard to imagine how easily it could happen considering the mental psychosis (inferiority complex+supressed rage) compounded by frequent social confrontations. Feeling like it is you against the world. Some people are just dicks and as much as they deserve to have their heads smashed repeatedly in their car doors, it is not worth the consequences. But like S.A.F. said, part of me is waiting, almost expecting (maybe even wishing) for someone to bring the heat to my doorstep.
Monty, I can relate obviously. Not that it matters all that much, but I was a good nw5 by 31 and taking no meds. Our experiences are similar though. It is easy for people who haven't been there to just say "who cares what other people think", but when enough people react to you with the laughs or the disgusted looks on a regular basis, then the problem becomes tangible.

It'll happen eventually man, you gotta find a release. What if it manifests itself in attacking your own family? i witnessed this sh*t first hand.

My own brother almost knocked me the f*** out, but its a long story.

 

[uncomfortable man]

God no, I would never hurt my own family. But the situation would have to be right for me to commit to fighting someone, I don't know.

 

[ali777]

After an alcohol fueled New Years Eve party, I woke up on the 1st Jan with a scratch on my forehead. I don't remember how it happened. I asked my friends that I was with, apparently I didn't misbehave.... My guess is that I must have hit my bedroom door or something, I'm just not an aggressive type of a person....

Anyway.... for couple days, I noticed that random people's eyes go up and stare at my scar. I find it annoying, I don't like people paying attention to a minor alcohol injury.

What's that got to do with hairloss? I know what it feels like for the eyes to go up. Believe me, I've never felt like that with hairloss.

 

[s.a.f]

But like S.A.F. said, part of me is waiting, almost expecting (maybe even wishing) for someone to bring the heat to my doorstep.

It'll happen eventually man, you gotta find a release. What if it manifests itself in attacking your own family? i witnessed this sh*t first hand.

Last time I got into a fight I was 16 me and my freind were getting hassle from this group and I decided to stand up to the ringleader. Anyway it resulted in me being (very publicly) beaten up.
I guess this has had a profound effect on me anyway I know that I let people walk all over me and many people have told me that I dont stand up for myself.
Since I was 19 I've been working out and although I'm not a big guy (150lbs) I'm all muscle and in in good shape.
Obviously you cant beat someone up for making a comment about your hair but one day someone will really push it just abit over the mark and this coiled spring will snap!

 

[Smooth]

M...so much supressed anger here, we need to take it out somehow...m... :shock:'.. Lets form a fight club !! :woot:
I go up first against UM!!

 

[uncomfortable man]

Lets form a fight club !! :woot:
I go up first against UM!!

Wow, If there was ever a group of malcontents with a chip on their shoulder it would be us...perfect. Just don't grab me by my hair, ok (joking). And it could end with us taking down the Meric building to that pixies song.

 

[imlosinit]

I can only agree with Dudemon, I've also been there I wasted my entire 20's hiding away because of hairloss. While others were out living life I dedicated myself to working and working out (I guess I was abit of a CCS).

Okay so you didnt interact with others during this period but you worked out alot. Wasn't that a plus? Just wondering what you think you ought to have done during your 20s?

 

[Smooth]

Damn Dude.....:/ Thats some heavy sh*t, you seem to be very insecure, and i bet that 13 years didnt just "went out the window", I belive some things are beyound our understanding, dont ever regrat a minute, no matter how "wasted" it seemd, you learn from expienrace in this life even if it takes 13 years... you said yourself your insecure and not very soical, this is not a healthy mental state and you most change attitude!!, why dont you talk with a profassional about all this? you said you want to improve yourself...start from there, get the tools needed to make freandships, learn to love yourself and all that sh*t..most people nowadays go to sessions on a regular basis, and they dont even carry half the sh*t you do.

 

[s.a.f]

I can only agree with Dudemon, I've also been there I wasted my entire 20's hiding away because of hairloss. While others were out living life I dedicated myself to working and working out (I guess I was abit of a CCS).

Okay so you didnt interact with others during this period but you worked out alot. Wasn't that a plus? What do you think you ought to have done in your 20's

Not really, :dunno: yes I'm in great shape especially compared to most people my age, but whats it worth?
Also after a decade of working without spending, I'm pretty well set up financially I own property, shares ect but in terms of life its not really a plus.
I dont see any of the people who were having the time of their lives in their 20's (partying, casual sex, travelling ect) regretting the fun they had and wishing that they had led my lifestyle.
Maybe I would have been married by now if I'd joined in and I'd probably have some great memories and a sense of fulfillment.

 

[Petchsky]

Dudemon - I reckon you would feel exactly the same way you do now, hair transplant or not, probably not what you want to hear.

Try drinking vodka instead of beer...

Hey SAF, having your house paid off already is a no easy feat, wish i had a house all paid for! Grass is always greener on the side and all that. Say you're married with a family, you know what you'd be thinking....What if i was single and could do whatever i wanted when i wanted etc...

 

[s.a.f]

Hey SAF, having your house paid off already is a no easy feat, wish i had a house all paid for! Grass is always greener on the side and all that. Say you're married with a family, you know what you'd be thinking....What if i was single and could do whatever i wanted when i wanted etc...

I realise that not having to worry about a mortgage is good but its just one plus point but most people would choose having a life over having a house.
Yes I also have my freedom but most guys my age have settled down because they've had their fill of partying.

Mind you reading this back I suppose I dont really have too much to complain about, its just the wondering about what could have been. :dunno:

Dudemon, this b**ch has taken enough from you not just physicly but mentally and emotionally. You need to find some closure on what has happened, get her out of your thoughts. She's made you feel worthless and put you in a permanantly negative frame of mind. Hopefully when your career takes off you can step up a gear with the rebuilding process.