Guys I need support.

[hairwegoagain]

Glad you got out of the house.

Stop looking at your hair. Don't scrutinize it for a month. You're allowing yourself to be consumed by this, and you might even be making it worse just by stressing out every waking hour. I'm telling you that other people don't see it the same way you do. If someone comments about it, just turn it into a joke. End of story.

Look man, you can see my scalp too. Dark, light, whatever. It's there, and that's the way it is. It's probably MUCH more advanced than yours. You need to accept it, at least for the time being, and give yourself a break while you give treatment a chance to work. You're the one beating yourself up over it. Is your girlfriend? No. it wouldn't surprise me if she thinks you're losing interest in HER. Your constant preoccupation with yourself can easily be misinterpreted (especially by a woman). I'm not trying to be hard on you, because I used to fret a LOT about my hair....but man, like several have suggested today, you need to take a step back. I hate to say this, but you're being selfish.

You need to end this pity party and pull yourself up by your bootstraps. You have several guys, all suffering the same concern with male pattern baldness, agreeing that you're placing too much emphasis on this. Right now it seems to you like it's the most important thing in the world. Doesn't that seem silly?

 

[noorur]

well to get my mind off of things I went driving for a couple hours..

I feel like absolute garbage.

It used to be you could only see scalp when my hair was short and had gel in it, in certain lighting...

I took a look at my head in the rearview mirror and I see nothing good.
my hair is longer than it's ever been 3'' and you can see though it in the dark.

I'm absolutly miserable... my head is cloudy, i contstantly have a headache...

I wish i had enough money to retire and never leave the house.

whatever u do, do not commit suicide, lol

i felt suicidal 3-4 times already, because my life went so f*cking miserable. i feel as though i lost a big part of me, big time.

 

[mogadon]

well all this life could be worse, and motivational stuff is not going to help jeffsss. it just doesnt work like that, its not how bad your lfe is, its how bad you 'THINK' it is,

i know because i have suffered depression all my life,and giving examples of someone down the road who's got it worse, is not gonna make jeffsss feel any better,the mind does not work like that, he may aknowledge it for a moment, and think "sh*t that poor guy" but within minutes jeffsss will be back crutinising his hairline,

firstly jeffsss i am gonna make a little judgement about you,i may be wrong, your hairloss is not the root of your problem, you just think it is, your problems stem much deeper than that, if you had a full head of hair i really dont think you would be happy, but i know you think you would.do you see the what i mean, i know you think bullsh*t, but its true

if you had no hairloss you would probably be on a acne forum, not saying you have acne, just using it as a example.

you would probably be focusing on your nose,thinking its too big,probably consulting doctors about it,

you are a focuser my friend, you are depressed,no doubt and you see hairloss as the reason,but believe me if it wasnt there,in a few years you would be depressed about something else ,you probably be saying god look at my wrinkles im getting old,and trying every lotion and potion to get rid of them,thats just how you are, thats you,

some of us are just born that way,and loosing your parents at a young age, is terrible, thats a real tough blow, so your circumstances defiantly have not helped.

so what is the answer i ask, a full head of hair ? yes that would bring temporary happiness or content, but only temporary, until the next thing came along that plagued your mind

all this talk of if you didnt have your girlfriend , you may kill yourself,this is a dangerous thing, you are walking a tight rope my friend.you are relieing on someone else soley for your happiness,almost survival.

ok now what is the solution for your hairloss and mental state,

firstly your hairloss,now you know there is no magic ward,so were have to go with the next best thing which is propecia, sh*t your on that, well thats good your doing the best thing,that you can to treat your stage of hairloss, i repeat the best proven thing in the year 2005, even though i still dont think your hearing me, your doing 'ALL' you can, so be proud of that, and LET it do its job

how do we deal with your mental state,dont get me wrong thats a tough one,pep talks just dont work, how do i make someone who isnt funny, into a really funny guy,do we send them a manual,no because to a degree we cant change completely what is our inherent personality,

firstly you need to have some acceptance of who you are and stop fighting yourself , secondly perception now this is where you have trouble,well thats ok, iv just said we cant change 'completely' who we are or how we think, so that goes back to acceptance

but jeffsss you do need outside help,(no not seeking a dozen dermatogists,thats not doing you any good). i said you cant change completely,but you can change enough to make things more bearable, there is no magic ward, you honestly need quite a bit of cognitive behaviour therapy to change your perception of things, not a one off session,

also you need 'maybe' to try and change your medication,and experiment with different antidepressants, there are many, maybe zoloft just isnt suiting you, it defiantly doesnt seem to be helping that much, but then no antidepressant is a magic ward, so i say this with caution, but they can take the edge of things.

feeling sorrow for yourself thats ok, if writing down and putting posts out helps keep doing them,keeping things in, defiantly doesnt help and you sure dont do that lol,

of course there is nothing anyone is gonna say, thats going make you suddenly feel great,and i do feel you have probably booked up to see your next dermatogist, lol, but you must try and and change your perception this is the real problem.

in no way what iv said am i saying hairloss aint f*king awful, and you have a right to feel bad,but its here so we have to try and address it the best we can

and remember everythings hard before its easy.

good luck

 

[DaSand]

Don't fret too much on it jeffsss. Believe me, the past month of October (also not being on meds) was the crappiest month ever for me. I looked at my hair constantly to see the thinning and frankly there is nothing that can be done about it now except for Minoxidil (and I'm getting Propecia soon) and Nizoral. But I can't do much about it now. I've had worse, I got dumped by friends, girls and losing a parent and I'm still going on.

You have to stop thinking like this and take control of things. I was at a hockey game last night and I saw a lot of balding guys from 20 to 40. I thought about it to myself and said "hey, I'm not alone!"

You have to start accepting things, but now I'm looking less in the mirror and focusing on finishing school so I can get a good job and live life. I will also be saving for HM when I can afford it (if it will ever come out)

 

[strikernr]

re

Hey Jeff, everyone here is dealing with their hair loss problem one way or the other but deep down you know that having negative thoughts and seeking sympathy is not going to solve anything. Now, you know everyone here is dealing with the same problem but at the same time everyone tried to cheer you up hiding their miserable thoughts about their hairloss. I am sure some feel the same as you do. We are all depressed and just want get rid of our negative hair loss thoughts. But some here don't care about too much as they go on with their daily regimen. I was like you and am still sometimes but my worries have diminished over the past even thou my hair loss has increased (my top scalp is visible even in dry hair. http://www.hairlosstalk.com/discussions ... hp?t=22661).

You shouldn't worry too much. Reason being there is much more to life than just your hairline. This is temporary. I bet you, 5 years from now when you have kids you will be think back and say i wasted my time thinking about my hair problem when i should have be doing something else like partying, playing sports and hanging out with friends for good time.

Soon I'll start taking finasteride (once i get my 3 month supply). I know if I put too much hope on this drug i will be disappointed at the end. I am not expecting too much from except to just keep the hair i have.

You should be happy that you and your girlfriend are still together and happy. Don't let your hair loss get destroy your relationship. You shouldn't worry about hairloss too much because obviously girlfriend doesn't i can tell you that. So, take what life gives you and hold on to it.

 

[jeffsss]

I know were all going though the same stuff.. but I think i'm one of the younger sufferers.. JUST turned 26.
and my hair is falling fast!!!! it's sooo damn thin. wehn i wake up in the morning and feel my head, it's like it's not even mine.
I grew my hair out longer than i've ever had it and have pushed it in every different direction to hide thin spots, but those techniques arnt working anymore.

treatments seem to work for some people i see from pictures.. but i'm still losing hair prettty rapidly.

I'd really hate to get on rogaine because i'll have to rely in it for the rest of my life, i'm scared of the nasty sheds that i hear about..

I think i need anxiety medication.. my heart feels "shakey"

 

[noorur]

you're 26 and you're one of the young sufferers ?

i am 20 years old, imagine how i feel. look at my pics, i already feel very sh*t about myself. i feel as though my life is already over before it even started!

http://groups.msn.com/NoorurHair/shoebox.msnw

 

[jeffsss]

you're 26 and you're one of the young sufferers ?

i am 20 years old, imagine how i feel. look at my pics, i already feel very sh*t about myself. i feel as though my life is already over before it even started!

http://groups.msn.com/NoorurHair/shoebox.msnw

yea 26 is young for losing hair man.

I feel for you too.. but at least look on the bright side.. you have dark complexion.. you have great skin and a medium sized head.

I still have acne, oily skin, huge head and have fair skin.

 

[hairwegoagain]

I know were all going though the same stuff.. but I think i'm one of the younger sufferers.. JUST turned 26.

Any age is "too young." I'm sitting here, at 33, and am not happy about it either. I started, however, at around 20. Jeff, you're not unique by any stretch. This is not just happening to you. Look at all the EARLY 20s guys on this board....even some late teens.

I grew my hair out longer than i've ever had it and have pushed it in every different direction to hide thin spots, but those techniques arnt working anymore.

LOL, been there. My advice is to stop trying to cover it up. That may be something that's noticeable (i.e., the combover look). That's MUCH worse than a thinning look.

I'd really hate to get on rogaine because i'll have to rely in it for the rest of my life, i'm scared of the nasty sheds that i hear about.

That's your choice, but the finasteride + minoxidil combination is what most often gets things on the right track. The sheds are just part of the road to progress. At least you have the benefit of knowing they might occur so you can be prepared and NOT freak out.

Will you have to rely on it (and propecia, which you're already taking) for the rest of your life? No one knows - but you can bet that there's something better coming around the corner. And after that, there will be something that's better again... the idea is to keep as many of your follicles viable as possible, until that time. You need a growth stimulant to get those already-miniturized follicles back in business. Leave them too long and they ain't comin' back. But again, it's your choice.

.. but at least look on the bright side..

You need to take the good advice you're dispensing. You've said you have a girlfriend that you love, and perhaps see marrying. I bet there's a bunch of guys on this board that would love to be in your position. Don't piss it away by destroying yourself, man. She doesn't care.

 

[strikernr]

re:

"but I think i'm one of the younger sufferers.. JUST turned 26. "

That's young but most here are even younger than 26. I just turned 24, don't have a gf (never had), just shaved my head and now i look butt ugly. But i gotta move on and we all have to. I'm the kind of guy who doesn’t like to settle half way and now you may understand how i must have felt about hair loss when i first noticed it at 21 in college at such a young age.

I can only imagine how it is to loose your parents at early age and have no one to look over you. But look at this way man, you made this far without any support all by yourself, this suggests that you're a strong guy. So, keep the same pace on and forget the hair loss worry. I would suggeset you to get on the Big 3 regimen and leave rest to god and move on. We all need to.

 

[cook'n'milkies]

i like your attitude strikernr.

 

[Guest]

damn strikernr, you are 24 and never had a girlfriend and you have hairloss and you are ugly? damn, thats sad! well, see, i am 21 and i even only had one girlfriend and that wasnt a real one at all. damn. but , thanks god, i look good (thanks to toppik). well, i hope the best for you and that you soon find a girlfriend.

 

[strikernr]

damn strikernr, you are 24 and never had a girlfriend and you have hairloss and you are ugly? damn, thats sad! well, see, i am 21 and i even only had one girlfriend and that wasnt a real one at all. damn. but , thanks god, i look good (thanks to toppik). well, i hope the best for you and that you soon find a girlfriend.

lol...
Hey what can you do? You can't change the way god made you. Trust me i used to be sad really sad but not so much now. I do other things to composite me hair loss and other problems. For example I started working out in the gym and its helping a lot reduce my stress and plus i work full time. I just shaved my head and it doesn't suit me well. When i had hair i wasn't that bad looking...hehe (http://www.utm.utoronto.ca/~gtathgar/ep ... index.html). But thanks for the compliments

 

[Guest]

ya strikernr, you dont look that bad. but on that pic you still have hair. do you have a picture where you are shaved? but good that you arent that sad about your hairloss anymore and work out.

 

[strikernr]

re

No, i don't have pic of myself in shaved head but i do have pics of my hair loss.

http://www.hairlosstalk.com/discussions ... hp?t=22661

 

[Guest]

you are lucky, you dont have much hair loss. damn, you should see mine.

 

[JayB]

damn strikernr, you are 24 and never had a girlfriend and you have hairloss and you are ugly? damn, thats sad! well, see, i am 21 and i even only had one girlfriend and that wasnt a real one at all. damn. but , thanks god, i look good (thanks to toppik). well, i hope the best for you and that you soon find a girlfriend.

lol...
Hey what can you do? You can't change the way god made you. Trust me i used to be sad really sad but not so much now. I do other things to composite me hair loss and other problems. For example I started working out in the gym and its helping a lot reduce my stress and plus i work full time. I just shaved my head and it doesn't suit me well. When i had hair i wasn't that bad looking...hehe (http://www.utm.utoronto.ca/~gtathgar/ep ... index.html). But thanks for the compliments

You sell yourself short man. you should easily have had girls looking at that pic

 

[strikernr]

"You sell yourself short man."

I don't know what you mean by that but your're right i could have got some which i regret it now but its all good. I was able to get through university without any extra headache if you know what i mean But i had fun otherwise

 

[Guest]

you should just try to get a girlfriend as fast as possible. even if you are butt ugly with your shaved head now.

 

[Solo]

Damn guys!!! Sometimes I just would like to be in front of you and slap you in the face, shouting: "Can´t you see it´s the best time you´r gonna be alive??".

But I know it is not the answer. Depression has a deeper root, some kind of biochemical mechanism gone wrong. I suffered it myself, mixed with anxiety and panic episodes. Thoughts, advices and stuff are of no use.

I never went to have therapy. Sometimes I felt quite bad. Never surrender though. Despite everything, I knew I wasn´t fine that way, I knew I had to climb from the hole. Just think that you´r wasting your life, that if you let yourself into depression you´r losing the show. And also, you´r making your surrounding people feel a lot worse. Probably, they´ll try to make you improve, if you don´t, everybody around you feel helpless. It´s some kind of agony to see a loved one lose his life in a black hole. That´s a reason why they seem unmotivated about you. They still love you (they are here) but they´ve ran out of options. Try to be happy and help them. You´ll see them smile if you do it.

Also there´ll be some motherfuckers that are gonna try take advantage of your situation, specially at work. You´r weak now. They know, they are gonna try to sink you even more. Sometimes they don´t even know the hard they are hitting. When you´re depressed you haven´t got enough weapons to counter-attack their ironic comments or stupid jokes. You´r an easy target. That´s the main reason you´r the center of those comments, not becouse you´r a major human sh*t.

Finally, my best advice to anyone in your situation: do good things for your brain. Mainly take a good sleep habit. Eat properly, a variety of things, stay away from eating fast food frecuently. Eat every day at the same hours. Go outdoors, if you can´t stand human company, go to less frecuented zones and take a walk, for some hours. Talk with strangers, about normal things. Be relaxed and they´ll be too. Practice some sport, it doesn´t need to be hard. I recommend trekking or snowboarding, you got superb mountains there in the USA. Don´t do drugs. Put a focus on your job, try to climb there, work hard. Go out with your girlfriend, having dinner, watch some entertaining movies or shows.Those are naive advices, I know, plenty of times heard. Still, those were the only things that helped me when I was down. And you can have such a hard time when trying to accomplish those perfectly normal things.

Someday, you´ll be waking up and seeing the sun washing your face. And then you´ll know, hairloss was not the reason you were in the hole. By the way, it´s not going to be a one day journey. But battling depression is much better than being depressed. Accept this til you cure yourself. It comes with time.