Has your hair loss lowered your own standards?

[KANGA]

NW3 with a hardcore thinning crown and therefore I have to buzz it. I'm only 22, so having moderate hair loss for my age isn't common.

When me and my 46 year old business partner (NW6/7 and 5 foot 7) hit up the clubs, he picks up more 20-somethings than I do (most of the time, we compete alot, haha)

So, why make up excuses? Incompetence?

Lah-ti-dah!

Well, ex-cuuuuse me Mr. Stud!

Is that why you come on a "bald forum"? To feel "better" about yourself and to brag about how you can pull extremely attractive women - and other more balder guys can't.

Good for you! :notworthy

Your 46 y/o bizz partner and you have 2 of the 3 things hoes want: fortune, and social status. Good for you. :notworthy

Not every guy can achieve those things. I havn't been able to. A lot of guys, like me, are probably in the same boat, and less like you and your "business partner."

Although I am also one of those "ugly dudes" with or without hair. And as far as working out and a having a tan, I probably could lift as much as you - maybe more. :dunno:

But working out and having a tan means nothing if you just don't look good from the shoulders up. And, if you lack social status and money, you will be a "loser" to women - which is what I am - hair or no hair.

I stay as far away from clubs as possible. Women ignore me in those places - or they throw their drinks in my face if I say one word to them. Either that or they will have one of their male friends come over and threaten me. Oh well. :dunno:

I need a whole head transplant! Yeah, then things will change for the better! :mrgreen:

I come to this board so I can find more information on maintaining or regrowing hair. I'd rather not be balding, hence why I'm here.

Again, with your excuses - why do I bother responding to you? I can't help you. If you're going to be negative about yourself, then you need professional help. Google a therapist in your area who can help you cope through your depression.

It's NOT about fortune. It's NOT about fame. It's NOT about looks. Granted, there are women who only look for these attributes in men. So what? These women are shallow and unstable. I'll pass.

Hey pal, I've had drinks thrown at me too, but that doesn't stop me from trying the next girl. I guess it boils down to consistency and incompetence... you seem to express the ladder. It has nothing to do with how your face looks, it's how you ARE overall. I'm not physically attractive; my hair loss has made my forehead look out of proportion, so it looks like I have a huge head. Plus I'm short. I'm not successful (yet), and definitely not a visual 'stud'.

But why would I let that bring me down? Does being "ugly" make me less of a person than, lets say, a Tom Cruise look-alike? If you say yes, then again, you're in need of therapy. It's like putting a perfect-10 woman on a pedestal based solely on her looks. That's so pathetic.

Everytime I goto the club, or bar, or heck, even the grocery store, I try to create masculine polarity (look it up if you don't know what it means). I show that I'm a fun person to be with, cool, unpredictable, but in control. THAT'S how you pick up REAL women. I'm only 22 years old, but I've learned ALOT about picking up women in the past few years. It's much, much easier than what you make it out to be.

Simply put, women are looking for someone to have fun with. If you're not fun (aka negative), then why would anyone want to be around you?

 

[Smooth]

Although i hate to agree with Dudeamon, but the guys has a point about what women look for, yet (!!) i do believe there are more attractive characteristics, such as being well dressed and groomed, showing confidence, humor, social skills, etc... all these can be "faked", if you smile you already look better, and more attractive to the environment, but it is hard to keep it up when you in a depressed set of mind... epically in western countries where you constantly reminded how much looks count for......

 

[ali777]

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Women (hoes) want 3 things (besides a man that they are physically attracted to):
1) Fame
2) Fortune
3) Social status

Everything else comes second to them.

You are being a bit unfair to women here.... Don't forget that everyone is different...

Sure we all have high standards to start with, but not everyone can have those three ingredients. In their teens or 20s, women learn that they can't have all those things and they become more realistic, just like us... Eg, I'd like to date Jessica Alba, but it ain't gonna happen :sobbing:.

When it comes to a long term partner, women usually seek personality and stability. We generally think success is measured with money and money can buy stability. That's why we associate the alpha male with fortune. However, money doesn't necessarily mean stability. I know some people in my age group who are willing to take pay cuts just to be able to have a bit of spare time for other things in life. Money isn't everything!!!

I'm not going to deny that there are no gold diggers out there, but I don't think the average woman is a gold digger!!!

 

[barcafan]

aren't you a self described loner though, dudemon? How would you know about all this sh*t? unless you're just taking it from movies

 

[ali777]

Agreed Ali. But, going back to the previous page, KANGA was saying that him and his "business partner" go into clubs and have no problem getting "extremely attractive" women. In fact, they have "contests" to see who can pull more trim.

I also know a guy like his business partner... He's bald and below average in the looks department, but he's got presence and that presence gets him lots of girls. His confidence comes from his business that makes him an above the average income, but I wouldn't classify him as rich.

However, I wouldn't like to be 40+ and still chasing young girls. I think such people are compensating for the lack of stable family life. I'd rather be sat at home with my wife and kids (if I ever have a family)...

If she is the supermodel type, she will stand for nothing less than fame, fortune, and status. Otherwise, she will not be happy.

I don't think "fame" is as important as you make it to be. We live in a celebrity culture and we are made to buy into that lifestyle, but the reality is different. "Famous" people use suckers like us to make money, and they keep their private lives private.

The very successful and rich people keep their "fame" under wraps for a reason. I'd rather be moderately successful and unknown than ultra rich and famous.

Women's values, like men's values, change over time.

My whole thing is that even as women get older and their values change, they still require "fame, fortune, and status;" except, their perceptions of those things have changed along with their values. But, they still look for the same things, just different versions of them that occur later on in life.

For example:
Social status when young = lots of friends, parties, sex, and popularity
Social status when older = lives in suburbs, husband makes good money, soccer mom, drives kids to soccer practice in an SUV

I agree that "social status" gets you better looking girls. However, interestingly enough, you didn't include looks or hair in your list of requirements for a male social status. So, we agree that hair is not a requirement for the male social status :woot:

 

[Thinneritgoes!]

Dudemon (and a few others) have a very disturbing view on "all women" and the world. I hope you guys see the truth one day...

 

[KANGA]

Yeah, they'll have fun with you - only when they are attracted to you. How are they attracted to you?

You possess the 3 critical things: fame, fortune, and social status.

Otherwise, they will have zero interest in having "fun" with you - unless it's for a "price." :woot:

This contradicts what I see happens when I go out every weekend.

You have to BUILD attraction with women. Women are like volume knobs, and men are like light switches (generally); with men, attraction is instantaneous, where as, with women, you need to build attraction over segment of time, hence 'volume knob'.

I don't see any of your 3 'critical' things there. I walk up to a woman, talk with her, tease her, build attraction. If she doesn't like me, no biggie, onto the next one. I get rejected probably 5 (often more) times per night before being able to create interest with a female. It happens. Heck, sometimes I won't even get a friggen phone number on a fun night. I can't let that drag me down though, it's useless and unproductive.

It's a really simple concept, guys. It sucks that the media has twisted your perception on reality. Looks, income, your status in the outside world, all of that sh*t is irrelevant. Women live in the emotional moment; they are looking to have fun, and if you're the most stimulating person in her world at that moment, you'll lead her right into your bedroom.

If you're going to keep dwelling on your Norwood* hairline, or how poor your transplant looks, of course you're going to feel like sh*t all the time. We can't help you with that, it should be your own incentive to realize that in the grand scheme of things, such things are irrelevant.

You can tear this post up all you want, but this is my personal experience... I've been in a huge rut in the past couple of years with hair loss, family deaths, depression. I've contemplated suicide. But, I bounced back. I'm not here to brag, "LMFAO LOOK AT ALL THE PUSSY I CAN GET!". No, I'm trying to stress that we all have potential.

But if you keep convincing yourself that only rich, successful, good looking people can attract gorgeous women, there's nothing anyone can ever do to help you.

 

[Smooth]

Dude, calm-down, get a drink and go to sleep or something, people here react to you because they feel for your situation, id say many here would like to hear that things getting better for you..(quite frankly if you will "open" up abit and maybe try to take something from all the things pointed at you, you might benefit... and no, im not trying to be arrogant or tell you that i know something you dont same as Kanga and Barca).

 

[Hope4hairRedux]

If you're going to keep dwelling on your Norwood* hairline, or how poor your transplant looks, of course you're going to feel like sh*t all the time. We can't help you with that, it should be your own incentive to realize that in the grand scheme of things, such things are irrelevant.

quote]

This simple sentence is the one of the most refreshing and enlightening truths I have read on here in a while.

Its just so true. In the grand scheme of things, hair loss is minor. We all have weaknesses, parts of our bodies we dont like etc, but these dont need to stop us from acheiving anything. It makes me quite sick to think how perfect my life in some senses, yet I sit here and grovel about hair loss, how pathetic when I could be out there doing whatever I want to be. That said, what I just said is easy to say, but I honestly feel its a stage we all can permanantly reach.

 

[Thinneritgoes!]

Dudemon, I really don't think anyone is trying to attack you. We all know how much it sucks to lose hair, and really hope you see your way through this.

You say all your friends abandoned you because a gang is after you? Before you said it was because of your hair transplant scar.

Don't let anyone on this site get you worked up.

 

[KANGA]

If you're going to keep dwelling on your Norwood* hairline, or how poor your transplant looks, of course you're going to feel like sh*t all the time. We can't help you with that, it should be your own incentive to realize that in the grand scheme of things, such things are irrelevant.

Do you have any idea how f***ed up it is to go around looking like sh*t from a bad hair transplant? Do you?

Buddy, you havn't been through 1% of the amount of f***ed up sh*t in your young life as I have in mine. So. you have no room to talk about how you were able to overcome your "hard times" or whatever - go f*ck yourself!

Buddy, you are an arrogant little prick also! And I would tell it to your face too!

f*ck YOU! :finger2:

I haven't had the opportunity to have a transplant, no. But my business partner, John, had one done in '98, but his hairloss got so bad that his lost all his hair around the transplanted hair. So, now he has to shave his head, and you see 3 or 4 strip scars on the back of his head, and they are HUGE. Plus, if he doesn't shave every day, you see his transplanted hair grow in a big patch.

That doesn't stop him from coming out with me! While I never knew him during the time he got his transplant, it sure doesn't seem like it's holding him back.

I'm not attacking you what-so-ever, so you don't need to resort to childish name-calling. How do I come off as a "prick" to you? I'm not judging you; I'm not insulting you (or at least I hope I'm not) nor am I looking down at you. Indeed, you have much more experience than me (though I would say that 1% figure is incorrect). I'm just saying that we are ALL capable of having an awesome life; if it doesn't drag my BP down, then what's stopping you?

 

[Petchsky]

Dudemon, people get on to you because you spout a load of sh*t. You can be pretty damn funny, but you're so negative it gets old.

And you don't post pics of your hair, and/or supposed grotesque looks, probably because its not as bad as you say, then you can't moan ad infinitum about it. Anyone would think you're the hunchback of Notre Dam the way you go on.

But whatever dude :whistle:

 

[barcafan]

aren't you a self described loner though, dudemon? How would you know about all this sh*t? unless you're just taking it from movies

Why are you always such a prick barcafan? Anybody ever tell you you're prick?

Well, I just did! Fucken sick of YOU!! As I'm sure you are of me.

I was MARRIED the year you were BORN - ASSSWIPE!!

I was married for 8 years - before you even got out of 2nd grade!

I once had a social life, and I self-destructed after my divorce and lost everything - EVERYTHING!

I have been pretty much a self described loner for about the last 15 years. True, I do need help. But, no psychiatrist can give me the kind of help I need, because they don't know how f***ed up it is to go around looking ridiculous from a shitty hair transplant.

Nor does a shrink know how to help someone who has had to deal with having a gang screwing with them, and harassing them to the point of committing suicide for 15 years. Well, I do know how it feels because I have been harassed by a gang - a gang of thugs. The police will not do anything, because I can't prove anything. All my old friends have abandoned me becuase they know a gang is after me - screw them.

I'm sick of always getting beat down on this stupid-*** website for every single thing I say it seems - by a bunch of "knowit-all" 20 somethings that don't know there *** from a hole in the ground.

I can never say one G**d*** f****ing thing in this impact thread without someone launching a personal attack on everything thing I say. And it's all a bunch of BS.

If you're going to keep dwelling on your Norwood* hairline, or how poor your transplant looks, of course you're going to feel like sh*t all the time. We can't help you with that, it should be your own incentive to realize that in the grand scheme of things, such things are irrelevant.

Do you have any idea how f***ed up it is to go around looking like sh*t from a bad hair transplant? Do you?

Buddy, you havn't been through 1% of the amount of f***ed up sh*t in your young life as I have in mine. So. you have no room to talk about how you were able to overcome your "hard times" or whatever - go f*ck yourself!

Buddy, you are an arrogant little prick also! And I would tell it to your face too!

f*ck YOU! :finger2:

maybe i just don't know how to be sensitive.

im not sick of you. I think either you seriously have the most fucked up life out of anyone i know and i feel sorry about that.

ORRRR you are mentally ill and extremely delusional and/or a troll.

I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt though.

Oh also, are you white?

I think alot of people are frustrated with you because they try to help you but feel like its pointless or something.

Whatever man i wish you good luck in your life, seriously.

 

[yvakin]

It's kind of funny in my situation:
Before i got crippled i was just balding/receding but all what i was doing is work-home i didn't go out once in 4 years.
Then, almost 2 years ago after the accident, i started to go out 4 times a week(every week) i've meet lots of new girls had a good time with them and stiil keep it going.
But the ting of it is i can't walk even 100ft without crutches.

 

[ClayShaw]

If you're going to keep dwelling on your Norwood* hairline, or how poor your transplant looks, of course you're going to feel like sh*t all the time. We can't help you with that, it should be your own incentive to realize that in the grand scheme of things, such things are irrelevant.

Do you have any idea how f***ed up it is to go around looking like sh*t from a bad hair transplant? Do you?

Buddy, you havn't been through 1% of the amount of f***ed up sh*t in your young life as I have in mine. So. you have no room to talk about how you were able to overcome your "hard times" or whatever - go f*ck yourself!

Buddy, you are an arrogant little prick also! And I would tell it to your face too!

f*ck YOU! :finger2:

I haven't had the opportunity to have a transplant, no. But my business partner, John, had one done in '98, but his hairloss got so bad that his lost all his hair around the transplanted hair. So, now he has to shave his head, and you see 3 or 4 strip scars on the back of his head, and they are HUGE. Plus, if he doesn't shave every day, you see his transplanted hair grow in a big patch.

That doesn't stop him from coming out with me! While I never knew him during the time he got his transplant, it sure doesn't seem like it's holding him back.

I'm not attacking you what-so-ever, so you don't need to resort to childish name-calling. How do I come off as a "prick" to you? I'm not judging you; I'm not insulting you (or at least I hope I'm not) nor am I looking down at you. Indeed, you have much more experience than me (though I would say that 1% figure is incorrect). I'm just saying that we are ALL capable of having an awesome life; if it doesn't drag my BP down, then what's stopping you?

Most people aren't so willing to look silly in public.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Sometimes I think these guys just make up an imaginary 23 year old nw7, 5'2" rosacia friend that gets all the pussy at the bars because of his magnetic personality just to play the devil's advocate and try to make it seem that baldness has absolutely no effect on anyone's lives or ability to get women more specifically. Even if it is true, it is such a rare anomaly that it doesn't even matter.

 

[FFS]

@Dudemon
I totally understand how u feel, cos going bald and not having achieved any career which brings in serious money makes u feel like a complete loser! I'm going threw it myself. I honestly think at your age looks don't matter that much anymore, I think the fact that u havent achieved any decent career in your life is bringing u more down than the actual hair loss situation.... or in other words your "bad" looks are really affecting u, cos u haven't achieved any of your goals!
I think women are looking for those four things: Character, Hair, Career(status), Money. I think those things are about equally important for women. But keep one thing in mind if u don't have: Hair, Money and Career then in 99,9% of all cases your Character will be fucked up aswell. Unless u are some sort of monk who has found inner peace...
I think that's really how it is!

 

[barcafan]

Sometimes I think these guys just make up an imaginary 23 year old nw7, 5'2" rosacia friend that gets all the pussy at the bars because of his magnetic personality just to play the devil's advocate and try to make it seem that baldness has absolutely no effect on anyone's lives or ability to get women more specifically. Even if it is true, it is such a rare anomaly that it doesn't even matter.

Yeah but then someone can come right back and say you're (general) making sh*t up to convince everyone you have a legitimate reason to be depressed, that it's baldness and not your other shortcomings.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Sometimes I think these guys just make up an imaginary 23 year old nw7, 5'2" rosacia friend that gets all the pussy at the bars because of his magnetic personality just to play the devil's advocate and try to make it seem that baldness has absolutely no effect on anyone's lives or ability to get women more specifically. Even if it is true, it is such a rare anomaly that it doesn't even matter.

Yeah but then someone can come right back and say you're (general) making sh*t up to convince everyone you have a legitimate reason to be depressed, that it's baldness and not your other shortcomings.

I don't make sh*t up. Now maybe if someone else where to experience the same instances and encounters they wouldn't be as affected by it because they have thicker skin. I am admittedly sensitive. I am trying to get my life together- just got my drivers license renewed after not being able to drive for two years, looking for work and planning to go back to the UC to finish getting my degree. I have a life, it's not like I'm a total recluse shut in who makes up stories of persecution. However, baldness is a legitimate problem I have since it affects my confidence and attracts alot of flack from anyone willing to give it, which so happens to be alot of people. I'm living with it but it sucks.
And for Dudemon...that situation sounds like the very definition of unfair. I think that says alot about how intolerant certain facets of american culture can be towards baldness but also how ETHICS don't come into play within the business scheme of things.

 

[IBM]

I'm very depressed.