Here's one for Nichiyoubi

[Obsidian]

I consider you 'ugly' not because you're losing your hair but since you decided to pick on GeminiX for no reason and call her an ugly.

 

[Hope4hairRedux]

I consider you 'ugly' not because you're losing your hair but since you decided to pick on GeminiX for no reason and call her an ugly.

Your right. I am ugly in that sense. Im not going to defend my opinion, some people would find it disgusting.

I never called 'her' ugly though. I did call her a freak. Perhaps it was a 'freudian slip' on your part?

A man should be able to take a little bit of critiscm though..or whatever it is..

Im not trying to claim a moral highground. You may find my views offensive. But thats how I feel.

 

[Nichiyoubi]

I do it without thinking, I'm only conscious of it afterwards, I've seen a hell of alot of people do the same with me when describing somebody bald in work/on tv, there will be a laugh at that 'old baldy git' or similar, with a similar stutter or silence afterwards.

It sucks but it isnt the end of the world, the correct answer to the question which is the best way to deal with it is a combination of all 3.

You need to confront and stop some people, you need to avoid a few situations/conversations if not people and sometimes its better to shut your mouth, even if it makes you feel like a victim.

Most people on here will complain about the effect it has on their love lives, the answer sadly is that for lots of us baldness makes us uglier and less appealing, on that front we can only talk from our own perspectives and as such opinions shouldnt be slaughtered.

I dont like your attitude on here, nothing is as black and white as youre making out, if you are happy with how things are on your head and in your life then great, but dont presume to know about anybody elses experiences or problems, you DON'T know all the answers.

I may not know all the answers but I know some of them. I used to feel like crap about hair loss. I can identify with many of the posts I read.

It's funny how fast you will discount my opinion and get pissed off at me even though I am closer to your situation than guys with full heads of hair or people who supposedly ridicule guys with hair loss.

I never said things are black and white. There is a spectrum with acceptance at one end and victimization at the other end. All I'm arguing is that moving toward the acceptance end of things brings more happiness. You are welcome to disagree with that if you want.

 

[Nichiyoubi]

Ive edited this - I put a lot of negative, counter-productive stuff up.

It was helpful to get it of my chest, but it was so negative that it may have been bad to read.

Anyway, hope everyone is good.

Hope4hairRedux, don't sweat it bro. Everyone has bad days.

Watch the negative self talk my friend. It can be very destructive. If someone else says something negative about you it's easy to disagree. But when you say it to yourself, who is going to be on your side?

_________________
"Baldness is a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."

 

[GeminiX]

I consider you 'ugly' not because you're losing your hair but since you decided to pick on GeminiX for no reason and call her an ugly.

Your right. I am ugly in that sense. Im not going to defend my opinion, some people would find it disgusting.

I never called 'her' ugly though. I did call her a freak. Perhaps it was a 'freudian slip' on your part?

A man should be able to take a little bit of critiscm though..or whatever it is..

Im not trying to claim a moral highground. You may find my views offensive. But thats how I feel.

Not quite sure where the "critiscm" (sic) is in branding me a freak, it's hardly constructive is it?

Do you consider all transsexual women freaks, or is there something about me in particular that you dislike?

 

[uncomfortable man]

He's admitting that he is superficial, and judgmental. Another cog in the machine. What's sad is he is by far not alone in his views. I'm sure the majority of twenty somethings hold the same disdain for male pattern baldness amongst other things that Hope4 does. He is admitting that he is part of the problem. At least he is not so deluded that he can't recognize that fact.

 

[GeminiX]

Ive edited this - I put a lot of negative, counter-productive stuff up.

It was helpful to get it of my chest, but it was so negative that it may have been bad to read.

Anyway, hope everyone is good.

You should not have edited this post, it was really good, and I actually found it quite amusing, because I could relate with you on how you feel. I know where your coming from man, and to me it's alot more valuable than all the candy canes and lollipops perfect world BS!

Oh come on Finfighter, I'm not saying the world is perfect.

The hatred and intolerance shown to on this very forum gives a pretty real picture of world that we live in, yet despite that I *choose* to not let it have a significant negative effect on my life and as a result my life is pretty good and I'm happy and content.

It's not bullshit at all, it's just making the effort to improve your life and not let the assholes of society get you down too much (something which curiously makes the assholes seem to hate me all the more).

edit: typos

 

[GeminiX]

The deleted post that I was refering to, did not say anything bad about you in it, I'm not sure what all that was about anyway.

Hmm, maybe I'm getting my posts crossed; the point of my reply is still valid though.

My point is, the world is full of pricks and assholes who will try to bully / intimidate / make fun of / insert twatty behaviour here; but they can only really succeed if you let them.

 

[Hope4hairRedux]

Ive edited this - I put a lot of negative, counter-productive stuff up.

It was helpful to get it of my chest, but it was so negative that it may have been bad to read.

Anyway, hope everyone is good.

You should not have edited this post, it was really good, and I actually found it quite amusing, because I could relate with you on how you feel. I know where your coming from man, and to me it's alot more valuable than all the candy canes and lollipops perfect world BS!

Im glad that you found it amusing. I hope your not as depressed as me. I deleted that post because I thought it was too negative, I didnt want others to read it in case that it made them feel more depressed about their situation..

But anyway..I feel f*****g terrible at the moment. I think Im seriously depressed. I reckon a big part is lack of proper sunlight (shitty dark winter in the uk) and lack of exercise. I feel like Im sliding into a dark hole. (No not pussy unfortunately, but im sure that would brighten me up)

As far as it comes to girls anyway, its like that whole department is a million miles away right now. I have practically no libido. When I see a girl, I talk to them without ever even dreaming that I would get with them. I feel pretty a sexual. Loss of libido is a symptom of depression apparently. So is loss of appitite which I also have. Jesus. Christ. I never knew things could get this dark within the confines if your mind. Its pretty scary.

Bottom line is Im going to seek professional help. I dont like calling myself depressed or actiing like some little pussy victim..But I feel pretty sh*t at the moment, and talking to someone professional might be useful.

 

[superfrankie]

Hope4: I didnt like that you edited the post as I could relate to almost all you felt (and feel). Its just sad that we must go in here and express ourselfs since no one in the real sorroundings can relate to or understand this situation.

Im having bad days myself thinking something similar to what you wrote. "The "end-of-my-life-day. It comes and goes. Difficult to block it from finding you again. Ive had these so called relapses more than 100 times the last two years. (i.e. relapse every week) Talk about unhealthy.