How To Cope With Hairloss If You Are In Relationships?

[Baldingat188]

my question here is mostly to people who are not bald yet but most likely will be in the future. Assuming your hairloss hasn't stopped you from dating how do you cope with the fact that your girlfriend / significant other might leave you once your hairloss progresses? It sounds shallow but you really can't even blame them if they don't find it attractive. Espically wondering for guys under 30 (when most girls would be most disgusted with balding).

 

[g.i joey]

Just let it eat at you until your insecurity indirectly ruins your relationship.

That's the outcome of that mentality, I have it and I know I can't date a girl due to exactly this reason, I'm not happy wth my situation and don't wanna drag a girl into it again. It's hard to be hopeful of the future knowing you will be going on a drastically negative decline in looks.

 

[Baldingat188]

Just let it eat at you until your insecurity indirectly ruins your relationship.

That's the outcome of that mentality, I have it and I know I can't date a girl due to exactly this reason, I'm not happy wth my situation and don't wanna drag a girl into it again. It's hard to be hopeful of the future knowing you will be going on a drastically negative decline in looks.

Damn dude , that's terrible but Its true. There's really nothing like hairloss in terms of what can screw over a relationship. When you have hairloss it's like you can't be fully loved or something

 

[Rudiger]

I think subconsciously it's ruining my chances of a real relationship, any I've had in the last handful of years have been brief, with me normally opting out because the idea that my hair loss could get worse, and could put her off, would cripple me. I'd be devastated, everyone experiences rejection in some form, especially if we go to punch above our weight, but you move on with it and realise it's not always your fault and simply may be down to timing or something wrong with her (of course this is a cope, but it gets you over it).

However to be rejected for something beyond my control, which already eats at me so much, this would be too much. I'd be done with any form of on-going intimacy, just hope for one night screws, and as a 30 year old I know that as an option is going to get less and less regular. I'll soon be too old to hang out in clubs with people in their mid-20's, I've even noticed in the last year that attention from younger girls is getting less now.

So in short, nope, not balancing up the baldness/relationship thing at all. Not one bit.

 

[g.i joey]

Damn dude , that's terrible but I a true. There's really nothing like hairloss in terms of what can screw over a relationship. When you had hairloss it's like you can't be fully loved or something

Sad but true man, it's not even about being loved, I think all of us are capable of that, but the self love you have for yourself that effects the way you act onto others speaks in volumes. I just cant love a girl at this point until I'm comfortable/stable of my problems (my only one right now being hairloss).

I mean I've dated but I never invest myself completely into relationships and the last 2 girls I dated had their doubts because they felt our relationship wasn't evolving. I didn't blame them and did the favor and broke up with them.

 

[Rudiger]

Just let it eat at you until your insecurity indirectly ruins your relationship.

That's the outcome of that mentality, I have it and I know I can't date a girl due to exactly this reason, I'm not happy wth my situation and don't wanna drag a girl into it again. It's hard to be hopeful of the future knowing you will be going on a drastically negative decline in looks.

Pretty much this is exactly how I feel.

 

[g.i joey]

I think subconsciously it's ruining my chances of a real relationship, any I've had in the last handful of years have been brief, with me normally opting out because the idea that my hair loss could get worse.

If you had to describe the last 2 relationships I've had in the last year this would be it.

 

[Baldingat188]

I think subconsciously it's ruining my chances of a real relationship, any I've had in the last handful of years have been brief, with me normally opting out because the idea that my hair loss could get worse, and could put her off, would cripple me. I'd be devastated, everyone experiences rejection in some form, especially if we go to punch above our weight, but you move on with it and realise it's not always your fault and simply may be down to timing or something wrong with her (of course this is a cope, but it gets you over it).

However to be rejected for something beyond my control, which already eats at me so much, this would be too much. I'd be done with any form of on-going intimacy, just hope for one night screws, and as a 30 year old I know that as an option is going to get less and less regular. I'll soon be too old to hang out in clubs with people in their mid-20's, I've even noticed in the last year that attention from younger girls is getting less now.

So in short, nope, not balancing up the baldness/relationship thing at all. Not one bit.

I totally agree. Nothing would be worse then having a great relationship with a girl just to have it end because you lose your hair. To be dumped for hairloss has to be the absolute worst. Some girls might say they aren't that shallow and don't care but you know deep down it bothers them ... weird how something physical like hair can change an entire person and who is attracted to them.

 

[Rudiger]

If you had to describe the last 2 relationships I've had in the last year this would be it.

My excuse: I'm not sure about settling down with something serious because I'm not sure if I want to stay in this country forever.

I mean there's a small truth to it but realistically, I'm settled career-wise and have a house here, it's essentially bullshit and I'm a conman. What next, faking my own f*****g death?

I'm also normally straight up and honest about my intentions if I feel I don't want to get into anything serious straight away, that's one thing I've always prided myself on if any girl was to accuse me of being some dirty player type- I'd make it clear what we're in for here. However now it's like I just don't care anymore, ethics are going out the window, string a girl along for as long a possible until she realises it's going nowhere. It's pretty warped.

I am just about surviving as a "man with hair" albeit thin hair, but decent hair line for my age (but it'd be obliterated without treatments). But the toll it's having on me mentally, somewhat socially but definitely when it comes to intimacy, is getting to be too much. As I say, "surviving" to me means you should put off a hair transplant until absolutely necessary, which right now it is not, but only aesthetically. The mental aspect of how this is affecting how I see my future means I should probably observe this possibility of a hair transplant and solid dense hair, sooner than I thought I would.

 

[Rudiger]

I totally agree. Nothing would be worse then having a great relationship with a girl just to have it end because you lose your hair. To be dumped for hairloss has to be the absolute worst. Some girls might say they aren't that shallow and don't care but you know deep down it bothers them ... weird how something physical like hair can change an entire person and who is attracted to them.

It's probably already happened to me and I don't recognise it.

I don't think it's impossible for someone to truly love you and look past hair loss completely, but it's probably very rare. Everyone's obsessed with youth, a partner with thinning and receding hair is an early reminder that we get old and die, it represents so much more than just aesthetics. Not only does it look sh*t, but baldness is associated with being un-trustworthy, a loser, etc. so who can blame a girl for hating it?

 

[shookwun]

@Swoop Aware?

 

[Notcoolanymore]

I was in a relationship when I first noticed my hair loss at age 23. My fear wasn't losing my GF, it was of looking like sh*t. You young guys shouldn't short change yourself because of "what if's".

 

[Exodus2011]

You become a cuckold

 

[DoctorHouse]

my question here is mostly to people who are not bald yet but most likely will be in the future. Assuming your hairloss hasn't stopped you from dating how do you cope with the fact that your girlfriend / significant other might leave you once your hairloss progresses? It sounds shallow but you really can't even blame them if they don't find it attractive. Espically wondering for guys under 30 (when most girls would be most disgusted with balding).

Ever think what would happen if you are in a relationship and your girlfriend blows up like a balloon or let's herself go, or gets disfigured, what would you do? That's the risk you take in any relationship. For better or worse. Supposedly true love conquers all. The moral of the story is never date someone who is shallow and only cares about looks. You have a better chance of keeping them if you make good money and can maintain their expenses.

 

[Baldingat188]

Ever think what would happen if you are in a relationship and your girlfriend blows up like a balloon or let's herself go, or gets disfigured, what would you do? That's the risk you take in any relationship. For better or worse. Supposedly true love conquers all. The moral of the story is never date someone who is shallow and only cares about looks. You have a better chance of keeping them if you make good money and can maintain their expenses.

I agree, and ideally if a good enough connection was established girls could look past hairloss. However at my age I just don't see that happening. No one wants to date the bald/balding guy and settle for them in their late teens. As much as it sucks I read a Thread a few days ago about how women felt when their boyfriend lost hair. Most responded with something like "I love him as a person but I have trouble finding him physically attractive ".

 

[SmoothSailing]

I agree, and ideally if a good enough connection was established girls could look past hairloss. However at my age I just don't see that happening. No one wants to date the bald/balding guy and settle for them in their late teens. As much as it sucks I read a Thread a few days ago about how women felt when their boyfriend lost hair. Most responded with something like "I love him as a person but I have trouble finding him physically attractive ".

There was a soul-destroying reddit thread posted here a while back where a girl was asking other women for help. Her boyfriend had decided to shave his head because of his balding. She said she started hysterically crying when she first saw him and made him wear a hat always when he was with her. She said she started crying every time she sees him getting into the shower etc. She still loved him, but just couldn't get past his changed appearance.

It's unfair on everyone, him of course, but also on her.

But it's not hopeless. My dad was NW7 by 25. He met and married my (genuinely) good looking mother at this age and they've been happily together ever since. Times have changed since then, I believe, but things aren't ever absolute.

Probably weird but I dream of meeting a girl as reasonable, genuine, nice and sound-minded as my mother. She's just so innocent to the world or something. She has literally zero comprehension on why balding bothers me so much.

 

[DoctorHouse]

There was a soul-destroying reddit thread posted here a while back where a girl was asking other women for help. Her boyfriend had decided to shave his head because of his balding. She said she started hysterically crying when she first saw him and made him wear a hat always when he was with her. She said she started crying every time she sees him getting into the shower etc. She still loved him, but just couldn't get past his changed appearance.

It's unfair on everyone, him of course, but also on her.

But it's not hopeless. My dad was NW7 by 25. He met and married my (genuinely) good looking mother at this age and they've been happily together ever since. Times have changed since then, I believe, but things aren't ever absolute.

Probably weird but I dream of meeting a girl as reasonable, genuine, nice and sound-minded as my mother. She's just so innocent to the world or something. She has literally zero comprehension on why balding bothers me so much.

Times have changed and it will be tough but as long as you keep looking you can find some old fashioned women whose parents instilled those old fashioned values enough were that person values them too. As women age, there will be more emotional baggage and the possibility of having children already. So if you are a single man who has no children of his own, you are going to have to deal with things like that. You guys are focused too much on your hair and forgetting about the responsibility you will have in a relationship. You might just lose more hair in the process from all the stress that comes with it. Long term relationships and their success will depend alot on moral, values and ethics. That is what you guys need to understand. If they don't exist from the beginning, then move on.

 

[Guzam]

my question here is mostly to people who are not bald yet but most likely will be in the future. Assuming your hairloss hasn't stopped you from dating how do you cope with the fact that your girlfriend / significant other might leave you once your hairloss progresses? It sounds shallow but you really can't even blame them if they don't find it attractive. Espically wondering for guys under 30 (when most girls would be most disgusted with balding).

I'm currently in a few years old relationship. She's not a Norwood spotter, so she considers 'bald' a shaved head, even a NW1. Truly a small blessing for me.

I'm concerned about these things, mainly:

1) She may suddenly become a Norwood spotter and lose physical interest in me. Once an individual (balding or not) reaches this stage of awareness, they consider attractive only thick NW1-2 and actively look for these kinds of hair in their partners. This bugs me a lot.

2) Her friends may mock her because balding bf is not cool (we're in our very early twenties) and may start with the 'you deserve better' sermons. I think her friends like me a lot but I saw women change character completely depending on the context and the people around them, so I don't trust this gut feeling of mine. The same with her family which is all NW0. This bugs me even more because I would be a direct cause of distress for her in her social circle, which is a very bad thing for a very young woman. This may make her unhappy. I fear this more than anything and I try to rule it out but my rational mind knows there's a certainty this will happen once I cross another Norwood (currently 3, thinning).

I pray treatment works and at least lets me maintain the status quo, which is bad but still better than higher Norwoods. In case I get seriously worse, I'll be forced to leave her once I come to know she's mocked by friends or family and I am a cause of serious social distress for her . She doesn't deserve this kind of sh*t at all, no girl does.

 

[Exodus2011]

There was a soul-destroying reddit thread posted here a while back where a girl was asking other women for help. Her boyfriend had decided to shave his head because of his balding. She said she started hysterically crying when she first saw him and made him wear a hat always when he was with her. She said she started crying every time she sees him getting into the shower etc. She still loved him, but just couldn't get past his changed appearance.

It's unfair on everyone, him of course, but also on her.

But it's not hopeless. My dad was NW7 by 25. He met and married my (genuinely) good looking mother at this age and they've been happily together ever since. Times have changed since then, I believe, but things aren't ever absolute.

Probably weird but I dream of meeting a girl as reasonable, genuine, nice and sound-minded as my mother. She's just so innocent to the world or something. She has literally zero comprehension on why balding bothers me so much.

Whoa that's really mean and messed up of the girl to do

I half dont believe you. Got a link?

 

[Exodus2011]

I'm currently in a few years old relationship. She's not a Norwood spotter, so she considers 'bald' a shaved head, even a NW1. Truly a small blessing for me.

I'm concerned about these things, mainly:

1) She may suddenly become a Norwood spotter and lose physical interest in me. Once an individual (balding or not) reaches this stage of awareness, they consider attractive only thick NW1-2 and actively look for these kinds of hair in their partners. This bugs me a lot.

2) Her friends may mock her because balding bf is not cool (we're in our very early twenties) and may start with the 'you deserve better' sermons. I think her friends like me a lot but I saw women change character completely depending on the context and the people around them, so I don't trust this gut feeling of mine. The same with her family which is all NW0. This bugs me even more because I would be a direct cause of distress for her in her social circle, which is a very bad thing for a very young woman. This may make her unhappy. I fear this more than anything and I try to rule it out but my rational mind knows there's a certainty this will happen once I cross another Norwood (currently 3, thinning).

I pray treatment works and at least lets me maintain the status quo, which is bad but still better than higher Norwoods. In case I get seriously worse, I'll be forced to leave her once I come to know she's mocked by friends or family and I am a cause of serious social distress for her . She doesn't deserve this kind of sh*t at all, no girl does.

Oh the horror! No woman deserves to be in the hell that is having a bald boyfriend!

Baldie should be ashamed for losing hair!