I took her to movies tonight... drove home drunk alone

[Nene]

even if we weren't wasted, getting above .08 isn't hard.

Is that the legal limit in the US??? That's actually a lot.

According to a chart in wikipedia, for my weight BAC of 0.08 is equal to 4 beers. I really do think that's a lot.

PS: apparently the same limit applies in the UK.

Was .1 when I was a kid. 4 Beers? Are you a big guy? Maybe it's harder to reach than I think.

 

[virtuality]

even if we weren't wasted, getting above .08 isn't hard.

Is that the legal limit in the US??? That's actually a lot.

According to a chart in wikipedia, for my weight BAC of 0.08 is equal to 4 beers. I really do think that's a lot.

PS: apparently the same limit applies in the UK.

Was .1 when I was a kid. 4 Beers? Are you a big guy? Maybe it's harder to reach than I think.

No, I'm not particularly big (83-85kg). It's just that reaching the limit isn't as easy as the government advertise it to be. BAC depends on so many factors, some of us get drunk with a single drink.

Eg, an average female might reach the limit with a single drink, but most men are probably able to drink 2-3 times more than that to reach the same level of BAC.

I bet that I can go out have 4 beers in 3-4 hours and still be under the US limit. However, I wouldn't drive if I have more than 2 beers, even then I'd listen to what my body says.

 

[uncomfortable man]

blood alcohol level aside, rejection is a tough one to process. Especially when that rejection is hair loss related.

 

[twenty.five]

You are a 1/10. You get 1 point for being alive.

Besides, NW2s with diffuse thinning don't deserve 4/10s.

 

[Ori83]

I have alot of respect for people like CCS and Dude in-regards to that they rather stay alone then lower their standards, there are some areas in life where you are allowed and should compromise, your partner for life is not one of them! (for a fling, or casual thing is something else, f*** as many as you can, just be honest that its only sex)
personally id rather live and die alone then settle for someone just because i went bald.... no way josé! :nono:

 

[superfrankie]

personally id rather live and die alone then settle for someone just because i went bald.... no way josé! :nono:

:agree:

 

[s.a.f]

personally id rather live and die alone then settle for someone just because i went bald.... no way josé! :nono:

:agree:

Yeah if you decide to 'settle' you ultimatley still wont be happy. There are just as many advantages to being alone as there are disadvantages.

 

[superfrankie]

personally id rather live and die alone then settle for someone just because i went bald.... no way josé! :nono:

:agree:

Yeah if you decide to 'settle' you ultimatley still wont be happy. There are just as many advantages to being alone as there are disadvantages.

Precisely. Lowering your standards lowers your self-esteem which will lead to a decrease in self-confidence as well. Its much better to be adamant and be alone in that situation.

This comes from my own experience. Today, Im willing to be without sex at any cost, if I cant get girls I truly feel attraction for.

Regarding being alone. I dont get it. Its not that bad. I rather be alone and get super attention from randoom girls all the time than be in a boring relationship and not get any attention from other girls. I can be alone all my life, as long as I know I can attract.

 

[s.a.f]

When it comes to sex its quality not quantity. :hump:

 

[Ori83]

I agree, but man, what can you do when your bald and twenty and doesnt pull the look? your screwed... kiss both quality and quantity goodbye.

I say this:
if you cant pull the bald look, there is one thing to do, forget about girls for a while (yeah, i've said it!!) forget about b****s and focus on other sh*t, like getting proper education, building your career, traveling, having fun with good friends and family, when youll have money they will come like flies to sh*t. so its a game of sacrificing. this is how i see it. im not getting the girls i want right now, doors are shut in my face left and right, but when the tables will turn, ill be the one making the choice, its only a matter of time.

 

[virtuality]

Precisely. Lowering your standards lowers your self-esteem which will lead to a decrease in self-confidence as well. Its much better to be adamant and be alone in that situation.

This comes from my own experience. Today, Im willing to be without sex at any cost, if I cant get girls I truly feel attraction for.

Regarding being alone. I dont get it. Its not that bad. I rather be alone and get super attention from randoom girls all the time than be in a boring relationship and not get any attention from other girls. I can be alone all my life, as long as I know I can attract.

I'm really sorry, but I do think this sort of attitude is what makes some of us unhappy.. You have high expectations and most of the time you don't get what you want.

Having high expectations is a double edged sword. It drives us to do better things, but at the same time makes us miserable. Unrealistically high expectations are the worst. I also don't like words like "settle", "content", etc... For me being content is equal to admission of failure.

I do agree that we shouldn't settle out of desperation, that's the wrong thing to do, but we should also know our limits as well. If a guy is so desperate and can't get anyone, he should wake up and revise his standards/expectations.

I don't agree that lowering the standards leads to low self-esteem. It's more of a case of being realistic. I know so many unhappy girls who are my age, they are holding out for someone special, but they don't realise there is no such a person. They live in a fantasy world.

I'd rather be with someone than alone. It's not that I'm weak, if I was weak, I'd be married by now. It's just that I'm happier when I'm in a relationship and as a result I function better. It does have a positive effect on me. Although, I have to admit that I have been in a destructive relationship as well.

About going without sex at any cost??? Are you out of your mind?? When it comes to sex I have almost no standards. When I was younger I turned down offers of sex, I was literally offered one-night stands by random women in bars... I understand it's different for the younger guys, they have different expectations. It's the naivity of youth.

When it comes to sex its quality not quantity. :hump:

Well, I actually care more about the quantity than the quality. I don't care how good sex is with someone, unless I get it regularly. I'll take regular sex over good sex every single time.

Of course, good and regular sex is the best unk:

There are just as many advantages to being alone as there are disadvantages.

Oh well.. You are one of the nicest guys in this forum, but you live in denial..

 

[CaptainForehead]

If a guy is so desperate and can't get anyone, he should wake up and revise his standards/expectations.

I don't agree that lowering the standards leads to low self-esteem. It's more of a case of being realistic. I know so many unhappy girls who are my age, they are holding out for someone special, but they don't realise there is no such a person. They live in a fantasy world.

But how does one go about lowering standards without being unhappy? The desires are still there.

In this respect, I think guys have a easier time. We are happy with a decent looking decent girl. Women on the other hand have very high standards. On a dating site, the women rated 75% of the men as below average :innocent:

Does this mean that most of the women in committed relationships are unhappy because they feel they "settled down"?

Having this feeling of having lowered standards will almost certainly lead to discontent in a few years.

 

[virtuality]

If a guy is so desperate and can't get anyone, he should wake up and revise his standards/expectations.

I don't agree that lowering the standards leads to low self-esteem. It's more of a case of being realistic. I know so many unhappy girls who are my age, they are holding out for someone special, but they don't realise there is no such a person. They live in a fantasy world.

But how does one go about lowering standards without being unhappy? The desires are still there.

In this respect, I think guys have a easier time. We are happy with a decent looking decent girl. Women on the other hand have very high standards. On a dating site, the women rated 75% of the men as below average :innocent:

Does this mean that most of the women in committed relationships are unhappy because they feel they "settled down"?

Having this feeling of having lowered standards will almost certainly lead to discontent in a few years.

I don't know :dunno:

Take a look at the older women, most of them aren't particularly attractive. Ie, the looks are temporary. Maybe we shouldn't pay so much attention to the looks...

I'm just making it up..

TBH, I don't have the answer to your question.

 

[twenty.five]

In this respect, I think guys have a easier time. We are happy with a decent looking decent girl. Women on the other hand have very high standards. On a dating site, the women rated 75% of the men as below average :innocent:

Yeah, I'm sorry but you have this backwards. Women may have rated a man as less than average, but that doesn't mean they rejected a guy on that basis. They're two separate things.

Men, on the other hand, go on about what a woman is out of 10 and have threads devoted to essentially whether they should go out with less attractive girls or be alone. Some of you would rather be alone than be with a woman who was less than the x/10 you believe you deserve (and you seem to all believe that a 4/10 is beneath you, yet no doubt a lot of you are not stunning yourselves). And these are ratings on looks alone, are they not?

 

[Ori83]

The difference is that men are honest about it upfront, women on the other hand say one thing and mean a whole other .
+ a guy will have sex with a girl below his standards, there is one meter for "serious relationships" and one for one-nighters (or sex buddies) and the later is lower...waaayyy lower..., a girl (in her twenties) wont lower her standards for a serious relationship, not to talk about pure sex.

yet i dont want to open another debate about sexual dynamics.
my point is a bald guy will have to put out twice the work for a lesser outcome due to condition out of his control. (i can compete with a "hair guy" and take him down in every area, or at least have a fair chance, other then the sexual arena... so why the f*** would i enter a competition i cant win?!?! ... can can you imagine the drag of living with one girl for the rest of your life and always wonder "how could it be" if you only had your hair?! this is the shittiest feeling ever! i dont want to experience that, i made enough mistakes in my life as it is)

 

[superfrankie]

can can you imagine the drag of living with one girl for the rest of your life and always wonder "how could it be" if you only had your hair?! this is the shittiest feeling ever! i dont want to experience that, i made enough mistakes in my life as it is)

You really hit the nail on the head on this one.

 

[superfrankie]

About going without sex at any cost??? Are you out of your mind?? When it comes to sex I have almost no standards.

My point is this: If you dont feel any physical or emotional attraction for someone, you shouldnt go for it. Its emotional self-sabotage.

There must be a reason for having almost no standards. There is always a reason, just saying. I mean, if you could get the best looking girls you would automatically higher your standards and never look back. If you could pick a Porsche, you wouldnt pick a Volvo. You´re just rationalizing your reality. Having "almost" no standards (even if its just for sex) = low self-esteem and emotional emptiness. Its not gonna do you any good in the long run.

 

[virtuality]

About going without sex at any cost??? Are you out of your mind?? When it comes to sex I have almost no standards.

My point is this: If you dont feel any physical or emotional attraction for someone, you shouldnt go for it. Its emotional self-sabotage.

There must be a reason for having almost no standards. There is always a reason, just saying. I mean, if you could get the best looking girls you would automatically higher your standards and never look back. If you could pick a Porsche, you wouldnt pick a Volvo. You´re just rationalizing your reality. Having "almost" no standards (even if its just for sex) = low self-esteem and emotional emptiness. Its not gonna do you any good in the long run.

How and why is that an emotional self-sabotage??? I feel very happy about it afterwards, not that I've done it for some time. I don't see it as a case of low self-esteem, and it's never done me any harm.

It's not that I don't have standards, it's just that when it comes to sex, men are programmed to spread the seeds and we spread them anywhere that is available. I blame evolution, not myself.

In fact I do have a few conditions for one night stands. First of all, I don't want to emotionally harm any girl neither, so I'd never mislead some innocent girl just to have sex with her. Getting a date isn't that hard, which may lead to sex after a few dates. But then again, she'd sleep with me thinking that we have a future. I'd only date girls that I'm truly interested in.

Also, I hate short girls because my worst relationship was with a short girl, so no short girls for me. Plus, she shouldn't be too old nor too fat... Anything else will do.

PS: I'd probably choose the Volvo. Simple because as in the "quantity vs quality" argument, Volvo would be my quantity and Porsche my quality. I could do more things with the Volvo, and I'd be happier as a result.

 

[Ori83]

I think we all agree about the basic thing here, that there are two different categories; girls for "plain sex" and girls for a relationship, the king of girl you bring home to meet your mom.... and for the later i wont settle, when it comes to sex i will lower my standards a bit, but i wont mislead anyone and will never date a girl i dont find attractive, rather be by myself. plus i dont have time or power to chase girls for one-nighters, so im sex-less right now. :/

 

[uncomfortable man]

But you may have to sift through plenty of the former before you find the latter and it can be a frustrating process. Baldness only makes it even more of an uphill battle. This thread makes me grateful I'm not single. I could imagine how tough it would be to try and meet someone under the right conditions.