I’m so very sorry..

[buckthorn]

Yes, I used minoxidil for two years without results. It's been many months now since I quit treatments altogether because it was expensive while giving no results. So now my hair is in the hands of the "hair-God", truly. I hope he has mercy on my soul, but I doubt it!

I know this is probably useless at this point, but I wonder if you would benefit from a higher concentration minoxidil, as your Androgenetic Alopecia does seem aggressive (I know this isn't recommended for women though . I am attempting this. Like yourself, I am ready to give up, because nothing is working. I am trying RU as well. Since, in terms of Androgenetic Alopecia, we seem in a similar situation, with very aggressive, presumably unstoppable hair loss, I will keep you updated if I get any results from RU and 15% minoxidil. Who knows, right? perhaps one day, the "hair Gods" will have some sympathy on you.

 

[parisienne]

Parisienne,
Thanks for sharing the Paolo Nutini (whose father has Tuscan origin. I am from Tuscany!) song.

I agree that we "Westerners" (although I consider myself more of a "Southerner", at least in Europe), have f***ed up values.

Nonetheless, I am going to tell you a different story, told me a couple of months ago by the guitarist of a band I play with (I play drums).

During rehearsals, we were discussing hair styles of musicians. The guitarist told this story: "I am from Ukraine. My stepfather (I have never known my father, who escaped when he knew my mother was pregnant) was a dissident during Soviet years. He was jailed for years for political reasons. He was put in front of the execution squad twice (it was a scaring technique in Eastern Europe). He never gave up the names of the other dissident intellectuals.
When he got out of jail (thanks to the "glasnost"), he was homeless for a whole year before finding a job.
Then he knew my mother and his life started to go better.
After these terrible years, in which he never knew if he would survive one more day, he started losing his hair. He was bald in a couple of years.
So, this man, who had suffered anything, who had been so strong as to survive the Soviet jails, immediately gets himself... a GIANT HAIRPIECE, basically a wig. And there was no way to convince him it was unnecessary. He simply couldn't look at himself in the mirror without hair."

Losing your hair (at least for me) is not about how good you're doing in life, or what your values are. It's about how you perceive yourself. You cannot rationalize. If you don't like yourself, and how other people perceive you, thinking of more unfortunate people won't help. If it helps you, good for you: you sound like a thoughtful, sensitive person and you deserve it.

Hey, thanks a lot for sharing this story as well as your insight. I should indeed have talked about another aspect : acceptance. Thinking about what I saw did not make me feel good about myself, but helped me accept my condition. When I say "acceptance" I don't mean stop fighting, I mean trying to not worry for something you can't change (aka the genetic predispositon). I still think we should do whatever the **** we want to fight Androgenetic Alopecia or to feel better. If it's a kick-*** strong regimen, or a crazy hairpiece, totally fine. Androgenetic Alopecia turns us into instant warriors. Wishing you good luck !

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Hello parisienne, I'm a young woman (23) dealing with Androgenetic Alopecia as well. I've been living this nightmare for over 3 years now, so I know exactly how you feel. But I also recognize the fact that there ARE worse things in this life than hair loss (I didn't before - I used to think it was the worst thing that could ever happen to a person). I'm not saying we're not suffering, because we ARE. Hair loss is completely devastating, and I've felt suicidal over it one too many times. I do think surviving hair loss without killing yourself makes you a true hero. And I always say - if you can survive hair loss, you can survive most things. But yeah, there are worse things than even hair loss. Seeing other people's suffering really puts things in perspective.

EvilLocks, can I send you a PM ? I have stuff to show you in terms of things we can do.

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Hey Parisienne, don't give up! Don't break yourself ! You must be fighting always.
Don't cry, stand up and fight with this.
Look at me, I fight with this all the time and I'll be fight forever until to death. I couldn't leave this without any fight. You must believe in yourself, if it you do then will be easier fight.
It's not ordinary fight, just this is WAR with fuc**n baldness!

Yeah, listening a good music is very pleasure and it let you to relieve out from stress and from thinking about this.

Hey antydhtor thank you ! Don't worry, I'll drop a nuclear bomb on the little ****er.
Congratulations for your hair being freaking awesome, you totally won the battle.

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I know this is probably useless at this point, but I wonder if you would benefit from a higher concentration minoxidil, as your Androgenetic Alopecia does seem aggressive (I know this isn't recommended for women though . I am attempting this. Like yourself, I am ready to give up, because nothing is working. I am trying RU as well. Since, in terms of Androgenetic Alopecia, we seem in a similar situation, with very aggressive, presumably unstoppable hair loss, I will keep you updated if I get any results from RU and 15% minoxidil. Who knows, right? perhaps one day, the "hair Gods" will have some sympathy on you.

If she lacks the sulfotransferase enzyme I'm not sure if it can help :/ minoxidil just can't work on some people

 

[EvilLocks]

EvilLocks, can I send you a PM ? I have stuff to show you in terms of things we can do.

Sure

 

[Joan]

P

Losing your hair (at least for me) is not about how good you're doing in life, or what your values are. It's about how you perceive yourself. You cannot rationalize. If you don't like yourself, and how other people perceive you, thinking of more unfortunate people won't help. If it helps you, good for you: you sound like a thoughtful, sensitive person and you deserve it.

Parisienne: Your words are reflective of your truly empathetic, altruistic self. I doubt any amount of hair you lose will ever change you in this regard.

I have to agree with Roberto here, as this is exactly how I feel, and I'm not ashamed of it either--at least not yet.

 

[sheraz1392]

Threads such as this appear in here once in a while. The problem with the messages delivered in such threads is that they only work until the next morning when I see the reality in mirror.

 

[hellouser]

Threads such as this appear in here once in a while. The problem with the messages delivered in such threads is that they only work until the next morning when I see the reality in mirror.

Either that or when someone privileged fullhead points it out.

 

[sheraz1392]

Either that or when someone privileged fullhead points it out.

+1

 

[pjhair]

Excellent post Pasrisienne. I am glad that despite dealing with baldness at such a young age, you still have such an optimistic outlook towards life. I just disagree with you on one thing. You said:

We are suffering not because we lose hair, which is an healthy situation, but because SOCIETY tells us it’s ugly and beta and ****ed up and whatever you wanna call it. Our shallow society is ****ED. Most of us don’t have to worry about anything important (home, food, health, access to information, basic civil rights) so now we have come to worry about how we look and how attractive we are. We lost the most basic solidarity on our way. We’ve lost our ****ing logic. 99¨% of our societal norms are PRISONS for our minds and we have to say “**** thatâ€￾ to be free and start caring about what matters. Societal norms only apply because we believe in them. The more we are to say “**** thatâ€￾, the less they will be alienating.

I don't think it is shallow to give importance to beauty. For example, the most important factor for me to date a women is her beauty. So can you call me shallow? Some will. But beauty is an attribute just like intelligence, nature, education etc. How is having a preference for one attribute (beauty) different from having a preference for another attribute such as intelligence or education? We like what we like. Just like it's irrational for somebody to tell me that it is shallow for me to have a preference when it comes to food, clothes or movies, it is also irrational for somebody to tell me that it is shallow for me to have a preference when it comes to dating or marriage. You said poor countries are worried about home, food etc while we are worrying about how we look. But worrying about how we look is extremely important. It is not only important for our own sense of self worth therefore mental well being but it also helps us find a life partner that we truly desire. Lonely people go into depression and in some cases even suicidal because of mental anguish. So I urge you to not trivialize the importance of looks in our lives. There is nothing shallow or insignificant about it.

 

[buckthorn]

Either that or when someone privileged fullhead points it out.

I don't get it... do you personally know Parisienne well enough to draw this conclusion? Every one knows every one else SO well around here, I could swear I missed the HairLossTalk.com brunch in or something. I don't know how y'all do it, but hot damn is there a lot of judgement flying around. It's a nice post Hellouser.

 

[parisienne]

Excellent post Pasrisienne. I am glad that despite dealing with baldness at such a young age, you still have such an optimistic outlook towards life. I just disagree with you on one thing. You said:



I don't think it is shallow to give importance to beauty. For example, the most important factor for me to date a women is her beauty. So can you call me shallow? Some will. But beauty is an attribute just like intelligence, nature, education etc. How is having a preference for one attribute (beauty) different from having a preference for another attribute such as intelligence or education? We like what we like. Just like it's irrational for somebody to tell me that it is shallow for me to have a preference when it comes to food, clothes or movies, it is also irrational for somebody to tell me that it is shallow for me to have a preference when it comes to dating or marriage. You said poor countries are worried about home, food etc while we are worrying about how we look. But worrying about how we look is extremely important. It is not only important for our own sense of self worth therefore mental well being but it also helps us find a life partner that we truly desire. Lonely people go into depression and in some cases even suicidal because of mental anguish. So I urge you to not trivialize the importance of looks in our lives. There is nothing shallow or insignificant about it.

Yes ! Thank you pjhair.
Nope you're not more shallow than anyone else. It's normal to be attracted to beautiful people. 100% guilty myself - even though some other factors are just as important. What I am trying to say here, is that our standards of beauty are not decided by ourselves, but that the society we live in, and this is precisely what sucks here. I mean, our tastes are not even 100% our tastes. 50 years ago what was considered "beauty" is now considered average. Who decided bald was not acceptable ? Idk, Hollywood, magazine, reality stars ? Anyway I am aware that social norms are stronger than rationality. But there's no logic behid them, so it pisses me off.

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Parisienne just seen your blog 10/10 writing and profile picture.

Thanks a lot cocohot, I'm counting on your discretion

 

[hellouser]

I don't get it... do you personally know Parisienne well enough to draw this conclusion? Every one knows every one else SO well around here, I could swear I missed the HairLossTalk.com brunch in or something. I don't know how y'all do it, but hot damn is there a lot of judgement flying around. It's a nice post Hellouser.

Seeing how the only reason why we're concerned about balding because of how society views and treats us, what else could possibly be the reason for feeling down eventually after you let it out? I've had thoughts of coming to terms about hair loss, rants, raves, etc. Ultimately, it doesn't matter. Some fullhead a**h** WILL go out of his/her way to remind you that you're baldness is the reason why you don't belong higher up on the totem pole.

Of course, you could say 'screw it' but thats not going to stop people from being assholes. The problem isn't us. It's THEM.

 

[parisienne]

I don't get it... do you personally know Parisienne well enough to draw this conclusion? Every one knows every one else SO well around here, I could swear I missed the HairLossTalk.com brunch in or something. I don't know how y'all do it, but hot damn is there a lot of judgement flying around. It's a nice post Hellouser.

Let it go buckthorn, there is no **** to give here

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Seeing how the only reason why we're concerned about balding because of how society views and treats us, what else could possibly be the reason for feeling down eventually after you let it out? I've had thoughts of coming to terms about hair loss, rants, raves, etc. Ultimately, it doesn't matter. Some fullhead a**h** WILL go out of his/her way to remind you that you're baldness is the reason why you don't belong higher up on the totem pole.

Of course, you could say 'screw it' but thats not going to stop people from being assholes. The problem isn't us. It's THEM.

Hey I think this may be one difference between perception of Androgenetic Alopecia in men vs in women. People (I mean low IQ people) can throw jokes at balding guys but most likely a bald girl will get some sympathy, because it's a huge taboo and not even supposed to happen at all .

 

[pjhair]

Yes ! Thank you pjhair.
Nope you're not more shallow than anyone else. It's normal to be attracted to beautiful people. 100% guilty myself - even though some other factors are just as important. What I am trying to say here, is that our standards of beauty are not decided by ourselves, but that the society we live in, and this is precisely what sucks here. I mean, our tastes are not even 100% our tastes. 50 years ago what was considered "beauty" is now considered average. Who decided bald was not acceptable ? Idk, Hollywood, magazine, reality stars ? Anyway I am aware that social norms are stronger than rationality. But there's no logic behid them, so it pisses me off.

Social norms may somewhat dictate what we find attractive, but I think they have limited impact if any. A lot of what we find attractive is evolutionary adaptation and we will never be able to shake it off because we evolved to be that way. For example, women generally find tall strong, fit man more attractive next to a short, fat and sickly man. There is a scientific reason behind it. I don't think there ever was a time or there ever will be a time where women, barring some exceptions, will go for an obese man instead of a fit man. This maybe an extreme example but you will probably catch my drift.

 

[parisienne]

Social norms may somewhat dictate what we find attractive, but I think they have limited impact if any. A lot of what we find attractive is evolutionary adaptation and we will never be able to shake it off because we evolved to be that way. For example, women generally find tall strong, fit man more attractive next to a short, fat and sickly man. There is a scientific reason behind it. I don't think there ever was a time or there ever will be a time where women, barring some exceptions, will go for an obese man instead of a fit man. This maybe an extreme example but you will probably catch my drift.

I don't know man. The trend now is to idealize teenage bodies. Like who are not even totally formed yet.. look at all those models starting at 13, I would be considered a grandma in this industry.

 

[hellouser]

Let it go buckthorn, there is no **** to give here

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Hey I think this may be one difference between perception of Androgenetic Alopecia in men vs in women. People (I mean low IQ people) can throw jokes at balding guys but most likely a bald girl will get some sympathy, because it's a huge taboo and not even supposed to happen at all .

Women are exempt from ridicule on all levels when it comes to health. Breast cancer? Tragedy. Testicular cancer? Laughing stock.

 

[parisienne]

Oh and that and the Kylie Jenner type body. Enormous ***, very very small waist. No scientific reason neither, surgery is the only way to look like this

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Women are exempt from ridicule on all levels when it comes to health. Breast cancer? Tragedy. Testicular cancer? Laughing stock.

100% true. This needs to end ASAP.
Not sure when it comes to hirsutism tho

 

[buckthorn]

Seeing how the only reason why we're concerned about balding because of how society views and treats us, what else could possibly be the reason for feeling down eventually after you let it out? I've had thoughts of coming to terms about hair loss, rants, raves, etc. Ultimately, it doesn't matter. Some fullhead a**h** WILL go out of his/her way to remind you that you're baldness is the reason why you don't belong higher up on the totem pole.

Of course, you could say 'screw it' but thats not going to stop people from being assholes. The problem isn't us. It's THEM.

damn, my bad Hellouser, I thought you were referring to Parisienne as a privileged full head... Oh, how written words can be easily misconstrued. In terms of attraction, the evolutionary principles still reign true - Height, body ratio, facial symmetry, and of course, the youth giving thick NW1... I do think that since modern civilization though, and especially now there are a lot of things that can make you higher up in the scale in the eyes of women. A huge one is a really good ability with children. I helped my ex raise her baby, and I remember one time I was holding that little nugget and talking on the phone about fixing her furnace. As soon as I hung up, she took the baby, put her in the play pen and just jumped me. That fatherly image of raising a child and being responsible with the house was a huge turn on. So, even when balding and losing some of your looks, the hard part is to keep the confidence you had before it. Like the old dude in modern family who is married to that super gorgeous hispanic woman. At first, you're like, "what the hell?!? it must all be money" and I know this is a drastic example, but after his character is developed and you realize he's super successful, loves his family, is strong minded and good with kids, he automatically increases by like two points. idk... what ya think about this Hellouser?

 

[parisienne]

Those fixations are just in women's magazines though. 99.999% of men would **** any woman under the age of 45, and even a lot of women older than that. We aren't selective like women at all. For men it's quantity over quality, and for women it's the opposite.

I do think society is a lot more extreme about appearance nowadays though. That comes from everyone having a mobile phone with a camera and taking lots of selfies on one hand, and social media on the other.

In tv programs and movies up to the 90's there was a normal distribution of beautiful and ugly people. Nowadays there are only beautiful people allowed on t.v. and in movies. It's like if you have something wrong with you society wants you airbrushed out of the picture not just on social media, but in real life too.

Yes, very true. This put a ridiculous amount of pressure on us, non-mediatic people.
I remember studying thorously the Disney movies of my childhood. I dont know how old you are, but do you remember the Beauty and the Beast ? I like Belle, she is smart and kind. She gets attached to the Beast and stuff (borderline Stockholm syndrome but still). But the true happy ending ONLY happens when he's turned back into a beautiful blonde prince. Like you think there's a morality.........aaaand nope.

 

[hellouser]

damn, my bad Hellouser, I thought you were referring to Parisienne as a privileged full head... Oh, how written words can be easily misconstrued. In terms of attraction, the evolutionary principles still reign true - Height, body ratio, facial symmetry, and of course, the youth giving thick NW1... I do think that since modern civilization though, and especially now there are a lot of things that can make you higher up in the scale in the eyes of women. A huge one is a really good ability with children. I helped my ex raise her baby, and I remember one time I was holding that little nugget and talking on the phone about fixing her furnace. As soon as I hung up, she took the baby, put her in the play pen and just jumped me. That fatherly image of raising a child and being responsible with the house was a huge turn on. So, even when balding and losing some of your looks, the hard part is to keep the confidence you had before it. Like the old dude in modern family who is married to that super gorgeous hispanic woman. At first, you're like, "what the hell?!? it must all be money" and I know this is a drastic example, but after his character is developed and you realize he's super successful, loves his family, is strong minded and good with kids, he automatically increases by like two points. idk... what ya think about this Hellouser?

There's ALWAYS an exception to the rule... it rarely happens. I pay zero attention to TV shows as a example of men can get for whatever reason. Of course, if you wanna play it that way, how come a bald billy zane didnt play the leading role in a romantic comedy? Hell, his last relevant movie was Titanic... and even in that he had to wear a wig.

It doesnt matter though. Attraction is simple; it's always looks first. If you don't have that, you've got a hard battle, so good luck.

 

[buckthorn]

There's ALWAYS an exception to the rule... it rarely happens. I pay zero attention to TV shows as a example of men can get for whatever reason. Of course, if you wanna play it that way, how come a bald billy zane didnt play the leading role in a romantic comedy? Hell, his last relevant movie was Titanic... and even in that he had to wear a wig.

It doesnt matter though. Attraction is simple; it's always looks first. If you don't have that, you've got a hard battle, so good luck.

Well, I was just using that show to kind of portray how things happen in real life. Haven't you ever met a woman and thought, nah not attractive enough... then after some time felt drastically different?? idk.. actually the best sexual relationship I have ever had was with a woman I wasn't that initially attracted to. In fact, I didn't even want to go on a second date with her. As soon as I realized that she was SUPER, SUPER bad ***, things changed a lot. Somehow, I grew even more and more physically attracted to her... who knows man. Yes there are pretty definitive rules to attraction, but all rules can be defied. I'm gonna shut up now... My paranoia about being ugly when I inevitably lose my hair is turning me into an unreasonable sap. I will learn the hard way when women just start shutting me out. Oh well, my twenties were fun. F*ck life. rotest:

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One thing this forum has taught me is that I sure use this a lot- (...) - when I write with uncertainty...