psychology / mirrors
Here is another fish. I, too, think, that especially your side look is absolutely beautiful for a man. I in comparison have a shape that I fear to be ridiculous, which is worse than ugly, I think. I'm very sympathetic to your feeling of loss for the pony-tail (see my name), and I see the thinning that you mean, I experience the same. The receding hairline in front view is something I also have great difficulties with. It recedes so quickly with me, that I found out, that my view on myself changes quickly to cope with that. (So it is a matter of how one looks at himself.) My brother cuts his hair stronger at the hairline, so that he doesn' t have a "frontier" that influences the face-image.
There is a rule for the use of mirrors: Try out many and take the nicest image you find. Be sure that you look even better than that and that other people (as long as they aren't against you) see this positive image. Also, never take photos seriously, especially, if it is no expert photo. Even I (former art teacher) have often difficulties to "document" people AS THEY REALLY ARE/LOOK. Better take a video, but NOT MADE BY YOUR BLIND FAMILY...
But all this is not the main problem, I think. Don't let your life be ruled by worries about your looks. It isn't worth it, first of all. Then: The attractiveness depends more on what looks out of your eye, and if you are able to laugh and smile, and if not, at least, if your face shows feelings or not. Especially women will look at THAT. But as many answerers said, you are beautiful anyway.
Is there something else maybe that you don't like about yourself? Then deal with that, here you have a real chance to GROW. Try to look at yourself with the eyes of a person who loves you especially WITH all your faults and doubts and who knows you from your deepest depth, imagine, that she/he tries to make some silly jokes to make you happy. And so you smile and look into the mirror. And then you say to yourself: Yes, what a fool am I, this is me, with or without hair.
Whatever you enjoy in life or aim at, concentrate on that.
I'm a transman and hated the female parts I saw in the mirror for 30 years. Mostly, I managed to ignore it. I always had long hair and saw myself as a Hippie. Now that I look a man, I lose my head-hair. I didn't even have one year to live my identity. Imagine, how I have to work to accept my rapidly changing images.
Now I'm trying to prepare myself for skinhead, to reduce my worries. Trying around with scarf or hats, thinking of a freaky head-tattoo instead of hair, planning to play around with wigs and if it wouldn't be funny to fool all the slow-thinking people. I wouldn't live today if I wouldn't try to make the best of my constant disluck.
Don't throw away your life before you tried to rob a bank or whatever might give you THE THRILL.
You know, you help me, because I see that I shouldn't be crying over my lost youth, I had the same feelings as you, and it could be, that this has nothing to do with trans or not. But maybe with our parents and societys expectations. - time to emancipate.
Good courage!
:wink:
:wink:
I'm sure a huge number of women would be thrilled to go out with you. I believe that it's the meaning you give hair loss, rather than the hair loss itself, that does the most emotional damage. It's easy to assume you'll be uglier, be lower down on the romantic food chain, etc. But often those assumptions go untested. I bet you'd be surprised if you knew what women were really thinking about you.
