Is this just a little up lifting?

[optimus prime]

UncomfortableMan this is important.

If you speak to any professional about trying to help someone else who is depressed or unhappy they will have lots of advice. They will give you tips on how to motivate them and encourage them. However, one piece of advice they will give you, and its very important, is that if things aren’t going well after a specific amount of time you have to back away from that person completely. This is because they will drag you down with them. It’s proven that someone who is depressed with life can make others around them depressed also.

When you first came to this site you admitted you had problems dealing with your hair loss, but, I could see a positive streak in you. After a month or so, I actually thought you were ok. I liked your rants and I felt you were one of these guys who was determined to do well and get through life.

Then this guy hatprisoner arrived, and you were extremely positive towards him. You offered him advice. Told him ‘we were in it together’, I even remember you saying how you guys could start a business together because hatprisoner didn’t have a job.

Since then, I have watched hatprisoner turn down every option for helping himself. What’s worse is he has dragged you down with him.

A perfect example of this, is when members of this forum are being supportive to you, giving you options about a piece, before you even get to make your own decision, Mr Negative has replied on your behalf with his usual negative and pathetic attitude.

My advice to you is simple, if you want to get by in life stay away from people like hatprisoner. If you want a role model, look to SAF, if you want advice ask others. Don’t get advice from someone like hatprisoner. There are people in life who are bald also at your age (admittedly not lots of people) and they are doing well, take advice from them and use them to motivate you.

In my opinion hatprisoner, if you don’t think you have anything to gain anymore and believe your situation is so bad then you should leave this forum. There are reasons why people attack you. That is because your negative attitude is affecting others and we are all sick of it.

Remember UM, if you have a pathetic attitude in life, you will become a pathetic person.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Cuebald, I will dismiss your attempt at trying to cheer me up with those bad jokes since you are a noobie and aren't informed of my background (I'm assuming), but I happen to be very sensitive about my hairloss and get really upset when anyone makes fun of bald people in general so I don't see how those jokes are supposed to help- quite the contrary. :thumbdown2:

Prime, I appreciate your advice but it wasn't until HP came around that I truly felt there was anyone on this board (shy of S.A.F. or Dudemon) that really understood what I was going through. That is important. It is true that I have put too much concern into feeling bad about my situation and that is probably because I have done little to improve my life in other areas to counterbalance these strong feeling of insecurity and inadequacy that I feel. I am trying to change that by being a more productive person and utilizing the gifts that I have been given to grasp a little stability in my life. Perhaps with that stability will come peace as well, but I doubt that the kernel of my discontent will ever be fully extinguished.

HWM, it pleases me that you can relate to my experience first hand. Misery may love company, but that does not mean that I wish any less for those more fortunate than I am. I just want them to realize and appreciate what they have for I am trying to do the same. It is just difficult and usually doesn't happen until too late.

 

[ghg]

I could sooo easily use your favourite line which is "you don't know what the f*** you're talking about" on this subject, but oh well... as a someone who is missing a finger I can only say that you're a cry-baby for crying about hairloss. Try missing a finger and you know what it's like being different from everyone else.

You are missing a finger? Is it the VERY FIRST thing people see when you meet them? Yes or no!

And the ironic thing is you HAVE HAIR and you are crying about hairloss. When I had your level of thinning I was not on here or anywhere complaining about it. When it all fell out is when it affected me. You are here with hair whining about how you look shaved. Cmon!

My missing finger probably isn't the first thing that ppl notice, but they sure do seem to notice. I had a surgery when I was 4 because my thumb didn't develop properly. They made a make-shift thumb of my index finger and I can tell you that it doesn't look very sexy.

To constantly claim that you wouldn't be here if you had been thinning at a fast speed for the past 2-3 years just shows how stupid you are. Really, that would be f*****g stupid. "My hair is falling out all the time but I don't care as long as I got more than 100 of them on the top of my head. But when I go totally bald, that's when I'll start worrying. That's when I will sign up on a hairloss forum and play the ultimate hairloss martyr". Sounds like a plan to me.

Besides, compared to you I'm not even crying. Infact I'm doing rather well, no need to wear hats or anything... I can even go to school and there's lots of ppl there that can see my head! Wow, could you believe it?

 

[uncomfortable man]

You're getting warmer ghg. A little realism albeit veiled in sarcasm, but realism none the less and a step in the right direction, imo. Keep up the good work! :bravo:

 

[slowburn]

I could sooo easily use your favourite line which is "you don't know what the f*** you're talking about" on this subject, but oh well... as a someone who is missing a finger I can only say that you're a cry-baby for crying about hairloss. Try missing a finger and you know what it's like being different from everyone else.

You are missing a finger? Is it the VERY FIRST thing people see when you meet them? Yes or no!

And the ironic thing is you HAVE HAIR and you are crying about hairloss. When I had your level of thinning I was not on here or anywhere complaining about it. When it all fell out is when it affected me. You are here with hair whining about how you look shaved. Cmon!

Such a drama queen, ugly hair loss is ugly hair loss. The lot of us thinners are going to be baldies one day soon. As for my self I am a diffuse thinner with recession at the temples. I have shaved my head to 1 once already and have not liked it, but the alternative is looking like I have a bird's nest on my head. No one wants to get old, but such is life.

 

[ghg]

You're getting warmer ghg. A little realism albeit veiled in sarcasm, but realism none the less and a step in the right direction, imo. Keep up the good work! :bravo:

Sorry if I insulted you in anyway, hp91. I'm not a rude person, but perhaps a bit hot-headed sometimes.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

Hey Optimus,

Stop being an attention wh***. You posts in bald and constant feel to "get in the middle" is typical attention wh*** stuff.

I may have posted about 20 times in the past 3 months. Lets try to keep totals here huh? I personally don't care about people "attacking me" because i know they do it on here because they can. I know they wouldnt' say a thing to my face.

That being said, I comment about posts that I have an opinion about. This is why it's called a forum. If you don't like reading it, don't read it or leave. Simple solution. Thanks.

Oh and let me add that I am doing a lot more about my situation than people think. I am not going to post it here but UMan knows how far I have become. But you people who have lost 10 hairs on your head acting like you are bald is just too much. Someone (might have even been you) asked me in that other thread why I commented on a "positive thread". I didn't comment on what HE was doing about his hairloss. I commented about his line about "all the people who are negative, yadda yadda yadda" line.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

My missing finger probably isn't the first thing that ppl notice, but they sure do seem to notice. I had a surgery when I was 4 because my thumb didn't develop properly. They made a make-shift thumb of my index finger and I can tell you that it doesn't look very sexy.

To constantly claim that you wouldn't be here if you had been thinning at a fast speed for the past 2-3 years just shows how stupid you are. Really, that would be f****ing stupid. "My hair is falling out all the time but I don't care as long as I got more than 100 of them on the top of my head. But when I go totally bald, that's when I'll start worrying. That's when I will sign up on a hairloss forum and play the ultimate hairloss martyr". Sounds like a plan to me.

Besides, compared to you I'm not even crying. Infact I'm doing rather well, no need to wear hats or anything... I can even go to school and there's lots of ppl there that can see my head! Wow, could you believe it?

Exactly.

You aren't crying? You shave your head and can barely see ANY HAIRLOSS and you still cry "i look like a f****ing convict! I guess I will have to hide until some hair has grown, it looks so gross." Oh sure, you are taking it well huh? And after all those people tell you that it's fine, you dismiss everyone. I know I do the same but get off your high horse.

And yes, when I had your degree of loss, I wasn't here or anywhere. When it become IMPOSSIBLE to hide, then it got to me. I was beyond any meds, I was beyond Toppik, and I was certainly beyond shaving it so it looks better. Get it? Thanks.

 

[Eureka]

gah... I hate how this exists.

Hatprisoner do you not see how you are not entirely right here?

You don't have to be an nw7 to know what it's like to be bothered by hairloss. And acting as if just because someone hasn't progressed this far that their opinions are invalid is foolish. Or that when you reach nw7 you somehow reach some new level of understanding and then you "really" know what hairloss is.

This is so freakin ridiculous.

I am bothered by my hairloss to say the least. You'll never catch me anywhere without a hat and a bandanna on (ever) Yet I'm only an nw3. I'm as bothered by being an nw3 as I was with being an nw1. Because you go from 3 to 1 not the other way around. You never realize how good you had it until you have it worse. That's why this whole argument is so absurd. If I get to nw7 it will bother me as much as nw4, 5 and 6 did.

Age also factors into this, not that it always matters. If someones bothered by their hairloss then they just are. But a guy in their mid 30's with some recession, with the amount of recession I currently have would be totally fine. But I'm 18... Yet I won't sit here and say simply because I'm 18 and your not that you have no idea what it's like. I won't presume to tell you, you know nothing of what your talking about like you so easily told others. Because your hairloss bothers you as it bothers me. They may be different situations, but that doesn't make my experiences invalid either.

Although people telling someone (UM) to just "get over it" is pretty presumptuous as well. It's not that easy, it will never be that easy.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

Eureka, I have no problem with you at all. What I'm saying is that people who have that level of hairloss making generalized statements like "i don't get negative people, just shave it like I did and it looks great" when they are barely bald is an insult. It's like me breaking up with a woman after 1 year and telling people who break up after 25 year marriages to just "get over it" and "move on". I don't know THEIR PAIN. I can't compare mine to theirs. That's all I'm saying.

I'm not denying your pain. If you hide your hairloss then it bothers you. But I will tell you this from experience. If you do get to a NW6 or 7, you will give anything to be a NW3. So if I could learn from my experience and help someone else, I would tell them to appreciate what they have for as long as they have it because once it goes, it's the worst.

You said it yourself with the "totally fine" line if you were in your 30's with your degree of recession. I feel that way right now. So would I. I'm trying very hard to just live with it though I know I"ll never be happy with it. But believe me, you are not sitting here "preaching" like the ones I comment on.

 

[s.a.f]

I thought the aim of this section was to allow people to talk about their feelings (vent) and if they cant do that here amongst other sufferers then where can they do it. If so why do people get so upset about HP and UC?

Is it because they look at them and see what their own future holds? :thumbdown2:

This is nothing compared to the old posts that Taug used write.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Zoidberg wants us banned for being negative nancys. We (HP&me) are just providing an alternate perspective of what it is really like to be bald, something that most of these guys are struggling to avoid. Our input has just as much a right to be heard as anyone else's on this site.

 

[Eureka]

I'm not denying your pain. If you hide your hairloss then it bothers you. But I will tell you this from experience. If you do get to a NW6 or 7, you will give anything to be a NW3. So if I could learn from my experience and help someone else, I would tell them to appreciate what they have for as long as they have it because once it goes, it's the worst.

Your totally right about that. But knowing and doing are two entirely different things, I know I have it better then a lot of people when compared to the level of hairloss I have. But as for enjoying it while you have it... I'm going a full Norwood a year, so It's not really about that for me. But yea if we could only be happy with what we had we'd all be set, most of us don't really have it "that" bad, but it still doesn't change anything for the better with knowing that.

Zoidberg wants us banned for being negative nancys. We (HP&me) are just providing an alternate perspective of what it is really like to be bald, something that most of these guys are struggling to avoid. Our input has just as much a right to be heard as anyone else's on this site.

Of course, that goes without saying. But when I hear things like "what it's really like to be bald" I just can't agree with that. I already feel like I'm bald... I'm not sure how my situation is going to worsen when I am... I will still wear a hat all the time.. I will still hate it... I don't see how it changes anything for me. Actually to be perfectly honest I wish I was bald now, So I could just shave my head down without hairline shadow.

If you read you should read Andrew Davidson's - The Gargoyle. It definitely made me feel unbelievably silly about any self pity I had for myself.

 

[Nathaniel]

When I suggested using a wig was just as a comment to genuinely present an alternative to UM. There is no need to trash the idea. If anyone here has something better to suggest to someone who is very depressed by hairloss and does not have the $$$ for a transplant then, by all means please enlighten us with a better idea.

Also. You can't feel happy about hairloss even if you have more hair than another guy because you know its progressing. If we all stopped progressing (or better say regressing) we wouldn't be here. The wondering of oh, I'm I getting balder? or oh, is this pill working? feels like crap also.

 

[cruz]

Also. You can't feel happy about hairloss even if you have more hair than another guy because you know its progressing. If we all stopped progressing (or better say regressing) we wouldn't be here. The wondering of oh, I'm I getting balder? or oh, is this pill working? feels like crap also.

Exactly. If you're the sort of person that will struggle when eventually reaching NW6/NW7, then the chances are that any anxiety or depression that you're going through now is strongly related to the fear of what it is going to be like in future. I'm not for one second disagreeing that having some hair is better than none at all, but the truth is that for many people, it's hard to enjoy what you currently have because of the continual fear and worry about what you will look like in a month, a year, or a few years down the line.

 

[s.a.f]

3 well written posts in a row. :agree:

 

[ghg]

Exactly.

You aren't crying? You shave your head and can barely see ANY HAIRLOSS and you still cry "i look like a f****ing convict! I guess I will have to hide until some hair has grown, it looks so gross." Oh sure, you are taking it well huh? And after all those people tell you that it's fine, you dismiss everyone. I know I do the same but get off your high horse.

And yes, when I had your degree of loss, I wasn't here or anywhere. When it become IMPOSSIBLE to hide, then it got to me. I was beyond any meds, I was beyond Toppik, and I was certainly beyond shaving it so it looks better. Get it? Thanks.

Well I certainly didn't hide, I got used to the shorter buzz (not shaved you moron) in a couple of days. For you it has taken years, you damn cry-baby. My degree of hair loss is unhideable and it has been so for almost 2 years now, so piss off. Get it? Thanks.

 

[optimus prime]

Hey Optimus,

Stop being an attention wh***. You posts in bald and constant feel to "get in the middle" is typical attention wh*** stuff.

If you say so. I personally see it a response after the shock of seeing you have the audacity to respond to a thread, which was trying to help UM dealing with his hairloss, with one of your typical negative responses.

I may have posted about 20 times in the past 3 months. Lets try to keep totals here huh? I personally don't care about people "attacking me" because i know they do it on here because they can. I know they wouldnt' say a thing to my face.

Of course if the circumstances arose I would say those things to your face. If you, myself and UM knew each other in person, and we openly discussed hairloss I would warn UM not to be around someone who will be negative about hairloss. I would also advice you that if you look as UM as a friend, you should think twice about being so negative around him.

again, if I knew you, and all you talked about is how life is sh*t and your worse off then everyone else, then after a while I would tell you that I think you are pathetic.

Don’t try and make out I am one of these guys who attacked you from the start. I offered you advice along with everyone else, I appreciate that you can’t be helped. Maybe one day I will be in your shoes, but why the need to pull others down with you.

That being said, I comment about posts that I have an opinion about. This is why it's called a forum. If you don't like reading it, don't read it or leave. Simple solution. Thanks.

Quite and that is what I did, and that is why I addressed it in bold to UM because I knew it was pointless talking to you.

Oh and let me add that I am doing a lot more about my situation than people think. I am not going to post it here but UMan knows how far I have become.

Thats good for you. Hope it works out.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

Well I certainly didn't hide, I got used to the shorter buzz (not shaved you moron) in a couple of days. For you it has taken years, you damn cry-baby. My degree of hair loss is unhideable and it has been so for almost 2 years now, so piss off. Get it? Thanks.

Looking at your "buzzed" photo, if you are at all insecure about that, then you need to just become a hermit. There are people who feel depression over being bald and then there is you, who just THINKS it. Look at all the responses in your thread and how you dismissed every single one of them. Again, I did the same but I am not sitting here preaching that I am "over it" like you are. Thanks for trying though haha!

 

[cuebald]

You don't look so bad bald, UM, at least judging by that self-portrait you posted in another thread.
You should shave my face and get rid of the uni-brow, and you'd look a bit less "neanderthal".

There's a NW6 where I work who looks similar to you, but he has tanned himself and goes to the gym, and the female teachers there seem to like him (at least, more than they like me), but of course, he's more extroverted and doesn't seem to have the neuroses that you do

Note that this is in Britain, things might be different in the USA, male looks don't seem to matter that much here (for that I am very grateful)