My baby's mama found a new man

[uncomfortable man]

So here is the story for those of you who don't know. About four months ago I split with my girlfriend of ten years (never married). She has a 12 year old from a previous relationship and we have a 5 year old daughter together. When we broke up, I had to move out and since I could not afford to find a place to live, (cost of living in that area is ridiculously high) I was forced to live with my father in another state. My ex got primary custody of our daughter and being so far away from her is killing me. I tuck her in every night over the phone and send her emails with art that I've created for her frequently, but I really want to be able to move back to that area so I can be close to her and still be a presence in her life. The other night my ex called me and we talked for hours. I told her that I am seriously considering getting a hair transplant, which she was apprehensive about. She had mentioned that she has been spending time with a co-worker- a single father with two young boys. She told me before that she had arranged play dates for my daughter with this man's children on a couple of occasions. During our conversation when his name popped up again, I had to interject and ask her if she was seeing this guy in a romantic capacity and she said yes. My heart dropped. I guess I thought that with time and effort we would be able to patch things up. When she told me, I didn't make a scene or anything I just told her that I want her to be happy and that the fact that this new guy is a single father probably speaks volumes for his credibility. I wished her the best but couldn't help but feel crushed. It didn't take her long to find someone new, and although I am in no position emotionally or otherwise to start a new relationship, I can't help but doubt that I will be able to find someone new, considering my level of baldness, and my overall disposition at this point in my life.

 

[IBM]

I know how you feel man. I really want to help because you're cool guy. For that i need you to rate womens of this pictures from 1 to 5. I need to see how your taste for women is going and what chances you have to find someone you really like. Please rate.

 

[uncomfortable man]

I appreciate your efforts, IBM but I can't help but feel this is a strange test you are presenting me with. The first woman is Marishka Gayheart from Law and order SVU. The second one is Christina Ricci, the actress that used to have big boobs. The two ladies in the middle I am assuming you know somehow and the woman on the bottom is just a picture of the woman on the right (above) when she was younger- is that your mom? Are you trying to set me up with your mom, IBM? This seems awfully suspicious to me. Could you be trying to hook me up with a mail-order bride from the Ukraine? Alright, I'll play your game - I choose the woman on the bottom, now tell me what I've won!

 

[DoctorHouse]

I think the lady on the bottom could be related to IBM, possibly his sister. I think she is definitely trying to communicate( looking at the background) to the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815. I think Michael or Ben maybe on to her. I hope she contacts Desmond because then she may learn how to time travel ahead to the future where there is a cure for baldness. That way Locke and the rest of us on this forum will know the secret on how to keep a full head of hair like Jack, Hurley, Jin, or Sawyer. Or maybe that is just a LOST cause.

 

[abovedagame]

Uncomfortable man,

I wanted to reply to your story because my brother is kind of going through the same situation and he is about the same age as you. He has two children from the same gf (never married but been together for a long time). He still obviously loves this woman and cares about his children TONS. He hasnt been able to see his son or daughter for quite sometime because his gf is refusing to let him (even though he pays her child support). I'm currently in school but when I visited him and my parents, I could tell he was very bothered and sad. I knew exactly what the issue was.

I've tried several times to give him advice on what to do and he seems to understand what WOULD be right, yet I guess his heart doesnt let him move in the right direction. Don't get me wrong, I've been there....when we care about someone, its hard to think logically.

For you my friend, I must give you the same advice. If this ex of yours really means that much to you, then tell her. Maybe a visit would even be appropriate. Explain to her that you still want to be with her and you want to get back together not just for the sake of your daughter, but for yourself. Otherwise my friend, let this go. If you know nothing will come out of it, or you really don't have feelings for this ex anymore, you must move on. Keep supporting your daughter and see her when you can. I know this may seem very hard, but it really is all you can do. Your ex already has another kid and has experiencing raising children. I wouldn't worry about your daughter too much. Personally, if I was to be raised by one parent, I rather be raised by a mother.

I know I am in no position to speak about all of this because I have no experience in this and I am barely turning 23 in a few months, but I still wanted to give you my say. You seem like a nice guy and I wish the best for you. Take care man

 

[uncomfortable man]

Man, I'm sorry to hear about your brothers situation. That must be hell not to be able to see your own beloved flesh and blood. Fortunately, I'm on good terms with my ex and I have visitation rights. I am actually going on a trip to see my daughter in a few days and I'm so excited. She is too because she misses her daddy and knows he likes to spoil her.
P.S. I wasn't able to access the discussion forum for a couple of days. Was it down? Did anybody else have this problem?

 

[HatPrisoner91]

Hey bro,

I'm sorry about to hear about this situation. I went through this with my g/f a few years ago and it hurt for a long time. But in the end, we worked things out but I did have to change a few things. Ironically, this baldness and how I feel about it wasn't an issue. But I know that "feeling" when you feel it will never happen again.

I have aquestion. What exactly broke you guys up? Was it the hairloss stuff or something totally unrelated? That would be a huge factor in if you should tell her how you feel.

I am happy you guys remain close and you can see your kid. That would so compound this problem if you could not. I do completely understand your pain. It's a very sufficating feeling.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Seriously though, why did IBM post all those pictures of different women and then asked me to rate them? Is he trying to hook me up with some girly action? He hasn't responded or anything so, :dunno: . Doctor's response was hilarious though. Anytime Doctor says anything, I always picture that guy who plays House saying it- it adds a certain air of credibility.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

Seriously though, why did IBM post all those pictures of different women and then asked me to rate them? Is he trying to hook me up with some girly action? He hasn't responded or anything so, :dunno: . Doctor's response was hilarious though. Anytime Doctor says anything, I always picture that guy who plays House saying it- it adds a certain air of credibility.

I think he just wanted to see what kind of women you were looking for to get a sense of your "tastes".

 

[uncomfortable man]

Yeah, but to what end? What should IBM care what my taste in women are unless one of the women from the pictures is someone he knows and he is just trying to test the waters to see if he can hook me up with her. That is the only explanation I can think of. Also, IBM has the diction of an Eastern European/ Russian, who are notorious for sex trafficking.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

Don't worry about it. Let him respond. Don't let ur mind wander with this one lol.

 

[IBM]

sorry for not answering. I tried to answer when the server was down but i was unable to do it. So here it is. I think the choice you made was good. You'll have better chances with older ladies. Though i dont share your taste you're in the right track to have romance again. I prefer the spanish girl (the above of your choice). Good luck mate.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Thank you IBM. Although we all have our preferences, we can't pick and choose who is attracted to us. I guess I just feel that the amount of women that would be attracted to me is probably pretty limited. I'm not saying that I'm not open to romance, or whatever but I am not ready for a relationship right now, nor do I feel lonely (give it time). In the meantime though I just feel like I need to work on myself and I can always :jackit: !

 

[RaginDemon]

At least she was very honest about it, many would have lied about it.

 

[uncomfortable man]

At least she was very honest about it, many would have lied about it.

She didn't leave me because of the hair loss. When we got together I was already visibly loosing my hair, she didn't care about that. It was an infidelity thing that broke us up.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

She didn't leave me because of the hair loss. When we got together I was already visibly loosing my hair, she didn't care about that. It was an infidelity thing that broke us up.

Who cheated? And who broke up with who?

 

[uncomfortable man]

It's my fault. I fucked up. There was a girl who worked at the Starbucks across the street from where I used to work. We were always friendly to each other whenever I went to get a coffee on my break. Then one day after my shift, I went to the bar in the same shopping center where she worked. She was at the bar and we got to talking. She had already been there for a while so she was drunk. It didn't take her long to confess her feelings for me and I told her my situation and that there was nothing I could do about it. Well, one drink led to another and I guess I was just letting myself be flattered by her compliments. With each beer I drank, my judgment faltered. I wound up giving her a ride home and well... I got a little feel on and about a minute and a half into a BJ I put my sh*t away and told her I had to go. She begged me to come inside with her but I kinda kicked her out and peeled off. I felt so guilty for weeks and then my paranoid thoughts came to fruition. One minute everything was wonderful in my life and then my girlfriend gets a call from one of her bar friends that had just overheard this Starbucks chick telling someone else that I had sex with her (and she used my name). Well the female network did it's job and sh*t came around to bite me in the ***. She told me to pack my sh*t. I had to stay with various friends sparaticaly and I was homeless for about a week. I wanted to explain myself, that I didn't have intercourse with her but she wasn't trying to hear it. What sucks is three weeks before this happened, she told me that if I ever cheated on her then that would be it. How could she just end it like that after all this time and not even try to work things out. We have a daughter together for christ's sake. In the end, I had to respect her wishes and leave, my heart aches everyday from it and now I know there is no chance for reconciliation, I just feel so defeated. I had my suspicions about her though. She is a hardcore drunk. She would go out to the bar while I watched the baby and she wouldn't come home sometimes until 4 or 5 in the morning if at all. I would leave so many angry messages on her answering machine (she would never answer). When I finally saw her and asked her where she had been and why the hell she was so late, she would tell me that she got too drunk and had to spend the night at a friends house. It's so fucked up, f*****g women. I just don't have the strength to rebuild an entire new relationship with someone else. I've got other areas of my life that I have postponed for too long, school, career and just learning to become self sufficient again.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

Of course it ended that way. How could she end it? Well you were getting blown by another girl for starters. I mean think about it.

 

[uncomfortable man]

I don't have to think about it- I know. I'm living with the consequences of that mistake in the worst way. Trust me I feel horrible, so I really don't need you to brow beat me on this one, o.k.?

 

[HatPrisoner91]

I don't have to think about it- I know. I'm living with the consequences of that mistake in the worst way. Trust me I feel horrible, so I really don't need you to brow beat me on this one, o.k.?

I wasn't trying to do that. Only responding to the "how could she end it after all this time without trying to work out" comment.