my dad's been losing his hair recently...

[Guest]

my dad is 57...he's always had a full head of hair but for the past couple of months...hes been complaining of hairloss..i noticed it today as his hair lost some density and his hairline has moved back...

what should i recommend him?

i don't want to give him minoxidil because i've been experiencing a rapid heartbeat every now n then after i apply minoxidil n at his age...i dont want to give him anything that can harm his health just for hair...

Afro Thunder

 

[Guest]

He's 57.

Tell him he shouldn't be concerned by hairloss as his almost an OAP.

People his age shouldn't mind at all.

 

[Grantspots]

People his age shouldn't mind at all.

Why is that? What makes you think a guy wouldn't care just because of his age? In some ways, it may be more difficult than for a 20 something - heck, he's had it a lot longer. Is it any harder for a 20 something to say, lose a parent, than it is for a 50 something? Who's to make that judgement? I know this - you'll care a lot about some things when your 50 that you can't even imagine right now. It may be a good idea to keep overly assumptive generalizations about how people feel to yourself.

jerry grant
7 years shy of 50

 

[Ams99]

Well, losing a parent and losing your hair are two totally different issues. Losing your hair is an emotional as well as an aesthetic thing. No 20 something girl says, "hmm.. I wonder if both of his parents are still alive. i find that sexy!" The problem with losing your hair in your 20s is that you want to meet girls that are your age! Lets be honest, 20 something year old girls are a lot more shallow than say a women in her late 30s or 40s. I'd hope by 50 I'd be settled down and have kids and a wife who at the time wouldn't care about hair loss. i can understand that losing your hair in your 40s or 50s would be devastating, but you're just being silly to say it's anything like losing your hair in your 20s.

 

[Guest]

People his age shouldn't mind at all.

Why is that? What makes you think a guy wouldn't care just because of his age? In some ways, it may be more difficult than for a 20 something - heck, he's had it a lot longer. Is it any harder for a 20 something to say, lose a parent, than it is for a 50 something? Who's to make that judgement? I know this - you'll care a lot about some things when your 50 that you can't even imagine right now. It may be a good idea to keep overly assumptive generalizations about how people feel to yourself.

jerry grant
7 years shy of 50

You're 43, there is more importnant things to life then hair now.

Your youthful years are gone. I'm sure you know that.

If you just want to improve your hair, that's fine, but if you're rushing into all these stressful routines on hairloss, I'd say.

GET OVER IT.

Don't be so selfish.

 

[Grantspots]

Take 100 x twenty five year old guys and 100 x 50 year old guys who've all just discovered they're losing their hair. 95 of the younger guys will suffer emotional pain for all the reasons you noted and only 10 of the older guys. But who is to say that the pain of the 10 older guys is any greater or less than that of the younger guys?

Emotional responses can't be measured or compared. You either suffer or your don't. But everybody who does suffer, does so in their own unique way.

Hell, I'm 42, and care about losing my hair. And not because I'm single and looking for women.

jerry grant

 

[Grantspots]

Your youthful years are gone. I'm sure you know that.

If you just want to improve your hair, that's fine, but if you're rushing into all these stressful routines on hairloss, I'd say.

GET OVER IT.

Don't be so selfish.

Ahhhhh, did I hit a nerve? Well you big pussy, is this the macho rock of emotional maturity you use to meet women?

Go ahead, I'm here.

jerry grant

 

[Guest]

Youre 42 - more to life then hair now.

That's my opinion.

 

[Grantspots]

Youre 42 - more to life then hair now. That's my opinion.

And I wholeheartedly agree with your opinion. But regardless of age, there's more to life than hair. Go check out the thread titled "imagine" for more on this topic.

BTW, I do have a life. I have everything I ever wanted when I was in my 20's. Beautiful wife and kids, home, cars, great career, everything. Including all the problems. Yes, lots of ordinary problems. But I'm not in my 20's anymore and now I want other things. It's no longer important to drive the latest and coolest car or go to the best clubs. As for my hair, this is a interesting hobby at best. I waited years pondering whether I should start finasteride and min and finally I just said "what the hell". I don't obsess about my own hair, if anything, I obsess about keeping up with the forums. I like helping people and offering a perspective that isn't prevalent around here - one that understands that's it's tough to lose your hair when you're young, but at some point, you do everything you can, adjust and move on, or crawl under a rock and disappear.

Point is, once you do move on, with the right perspective, you can still achieve all that you dream.

jerry grant

 

[RecedingBoy]

I don't mean to sound like an ***, but I assure you that in ABSOLUTELY NO WAYS IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A 57 YEAR OLD TO TAKE IT MORE DIFFICULTLY THAN A 20 YEAR OLD.

I'm 25 now, but noticed hairloss at 21. To say that its for a 57 year old is total bullshit.

People EXPECT men to have - at least- some minor hairloss at that age, NOT AT 20!
When you go out with your friends who all have perfect seemingly NEGATIVE Norwood scales, and you're the one that stands out like a sore thumb because of your hairline you'll know.

When people talk to you and stare at your fuckign hairline becaue they are not used to seeing it on a 20 year old you'll know.

when people f*****g blame you for your hairloss making comments like, "gee, what did you do to get that?" - because they think you are too young to have the hairline of a 57 year old, you'll know.

while i'm not trying to dwel in self pity, please don't reduce the difficulty with which young people deal with hairloss - IT IS NOT THE SAME, AND NO, IN NO SITUATIONS IS IT WORSE FOR A 57 YEAR OLD.

what makes people feel low or down is when they are perceived as being different. a 57 year old that is receding or balding does not stand out from the crowd. A 20 year old does.

afro21: tell your dad to be happy he just started losing it now. tell him to try the natural things because those will have no bearing on messing him up and at his age it isn't worth the risk. i.e. meditation, revivogen, saw palmetto, nizoral.

People his age shouldn't mind at all.

Why is that? What makes you think a guy wouldn't care just because of his age? In some ways, it may be more difficult than for a 20 something - heck, he's had it a lot longer. Is it any harder for a 20 something to say, lose a parent, than it is for a 50 something? Who's to make that judgement? I know this - you'll care a lot about some things when your 50 that you can't even imagine right now. It may be a good idea to keep overly assumptive generalizations about how people feel to yourself.

jerry grant
7 years shy of 50

 

[Grantspots]

I don't mean to sound like an ***, but I assure you that in ABSOLUTELY NO WAYS IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A 57 YEAR OLD TO TAKE IT MORE DIFFICULTLY THAN A 20 YEAR OLD.

This is subjective, both your claim and the fact that you may sound like an ***. Who are you to judge how anybody feels?

I'm 25 now, but noticed hairloss at 21. To say that its for a 57 year old is total bullshit. People EXPECT men to have - at least- some minor hairloss at that age, NOT AT 20!

True, the public may "expect" older guys to have some hairloss, but does that mean that EVERY guy who's 50 expects to lose his hair? Again, you are using broad generalization and stereotype - i.e. public perception - to guage the individual feelings and reactions of every single man.

When you go out with your friends who all have perfect seemingly NEGATIVE Norwood scales, and you're the one that stands out like a sore thumb because of your hairline you'll know. When peop
le talk to you and stare at your fuckign hairline becaue they are not used to seeing it on a 20 year old you'll know.When people f*****g blame you for your hairloss making comments like, "gee, what did you do to get that?" - because they think you are too young to have the hairline of a 57 year old, you'll know.

What are you saying - that I don't know? I had plants at 28 after losing it for years. Don't even try to claim that what you are going through at 25 is any worse than what I went through. Maybe I can relate what you are talking about. The difference is, I've worked through it and gotten on with my life...

while i'm not trying to dwel in self pity, please don't reduce the difficulty with which young people deal with hairloss - IT IS NOT THE SAME, AND NO, IN NO SITUATIONS IS IT WORSE FOR A 57 YEAR OLD.

The pattern for dealing with hairloss at any age is pretty much the same. Shock, denial, anger, depression, and acceptance. True, most older guys will glide throught these phases faster and easier than most guys in their 20's, but one thing is common to all men: how we accept it - whether we choose to fight it or just let it go, is something each one of us has to decide personally and individually. Again, how anybody FEELS about it is highly subjective.

what makes people feel low or down is when they are perceived as being different. a 57 year old that is receding or balding does not stand out from the crowd. A 20 year old does.

Trust me, only the people who knew you when you had a full head of hair will perceive you as different and only the airheads will judge you as being different. Everybody you meet now and in the future will see you as you are and judge you for your personality, character, talent, compassion, wisdom, wit and more. And if you get frustrated cause some women see you only for your hair, think about this; would you want to have a long term relationship with such a shallow person anyway?

jerry grant

 

[Stabber]

The young guys have everything to look forward to. College, meeting new people, new jobs, getting glances from hot chicks . Carefree days. When something is there to threaten your looks, (which are at their best in your youth) it's going to bother you.

When your in your 50s, you wont be going to the mall or restaraunts scoping out chicks. Or hitting up the nightclubs looking for hot chicks, or cruising around blasting music with the top down looking for hot chicks. That's the difference. If you do, you will be laughed at. Hair or no hair.

Aging offers wrinkles, diminished libido, hair loss, slower metabolism etc. All this stuff is expected and probably causes no stress if it comes gradually when you are older. If you get one of these when you're young, its stressful.

 

[Grantspots]

The young guys have everything to look forward to.

Granted, guys in their 20's have more to look forward to in terms of life experiences. But to assume that a guy who's 50 has very little to look forward to is ludicrous. On the contrary, I'd argue that a guy in his 50's is more likely to be closer to realizing his bigger lifelong dreams than a guy in his 20's.

When your in your 50s, you wont be going to the mall or restaraunts scoping out chicks. Or hitting up the nightclubs looking for hot chicks, or cruising around blasting music with the top down looking for hot chicks. That's the difference. If you do, you will be laughed at. Hair or no hair.

When your in your 20's, you won't be heading a corporation or raising a family or vacationing all over the world or building a replica of a 65 Cobra or sending your kids to college or leading a local civic group or collecting art or wine or whatever. If you do, you'll be laughed at. Hair or no hair.

I acknowledge and agree that it's far more difficult to lose your hair in your 20's than in your 50's. BUT THIS STATEMENT CAN ONLY BE APPLIED TO THE MAJORITY OF GUYS, NOT EVERYBODY. That's my point.

jerry grant

 

[Stabber]

On the contrary, I'd argue that a guy in his 50's is more likely to be closer to realizing his bigger lifelong dreams than a guy in his 20's.

jerry grant[/quote]

IMHO 50 years old is around the time mid-life crisis occurs for many men. Which means it is around this age when men will reflect on the years they've lived and judge if they became everything they wanted to be. If you are not on your way with your "lifelong" dream by the time you are in your 50s, you better get moving!

I understand and appreciate what you are saying though. Majority of men is not all men.

 

[Rawbbie]

Sounds like Grantspots is hitting the Mid-Life Crisis stage, realizing that his youth is gone

 

[bombscience]

To answer the question of this thread.. To make your dad feel better he should add nizoral to his shampoo schedule, and maybe add some kind of copper peptide or SOD to slow down the rate at which he thins. Have him start taking Saw Palmetto if he wants. This is an unproven treatment for a healthy prostate as well so you could market it as a good thing that way. Also let him know about what people say are good cosmetically thickening shampoos: Thicker Fuller Hair, Progaine, Nioxin.

On the 20 vs. 50 topic. All I know is that I am devastated i'm losing my hair. My dad starting loosing his in this early 40s but my mom has one of the thickest heads of hair i've ever seen. I used to have the same thickness as her and hairdressers would thin my hair out drastically with thinning shears. I actually expected baldness for me at some point, but just not this soon. So would I have been upset if I had lasted into my late 30s-40s? Yeah, most definitely because I am very concerned about my image. Would I have cared this much? Probably not, because I'm sure at that point in my life there would many other things that were more important to me, like a family.

 

[Rawbbie]

Depends on how long you remain vain. I'm not sure if vanity is something that will ever go away, but I'm sure it will become less important the older we get. I sort of expect myself to say 'ah, screw it, I'm 40 now anyways' but i don't know if that will be the case. My Dad is bald now and he has never given a damn about it- I asked him several time how old he was and he said in his late 20s he thinks he started to lose it, but he never gave it much thought! Needless to say he doesn't have a vain bone in his body.

 

[bombscience]

Another thought:

Age is a number. I know I just recently turned 25, but I still live a lot of my life like I am 18. I hope that I continue to be mentally young for the rest of my life. So to back up Grant a bit, if I had my thick hair into my 40s and then started loosing it, I would be very upset because I know I would start thinking about the future ahead of me as I do now. I plan to be mentally young my enitre life. I would still see old men with a full head of white hair and say, look how lucky they are! Hairloss sucks flat out. My dad was sympathizing with me the other day, and relating to HIS situation by saying "I know i was devestated when I starting losing mine" He was in his 40s.

So the point is, I think we should all get over whether someone is 40 or 20. I know 25 year olds that are married with kids, and I know 40 year olds that are still living the single life and loving it. Hair loss sucks for all men and it's not worth our time debating who's violin plays the sadest and loudest.

 

[Grantspots]

I sort of expect myself to say 'ah, screw it, I'm 40 now anyways' but i don't know if that will be the case.

Take it from one who's lived it...if you care enough to take it on now, you'll care enough to take it on later. As long as the fight makes sense and has a reasonable chance for success. What changes are the treatments and your attitude about the realistic potential for success. Yes, it won't hurt me as much as you guys if these treatments fail, but that doesn't mean it's not worth the attempt.

And re: the idea of me realizing my youth is gone - I got news for you boys - youth is a state of mind, not a finite period of one's life. You might understand that someday after you've stopped being so "youthful."

jerry grant

 

[Stabber]

you can still be mentally young and be older no doubt. But the things you do when you're older VS the things you do when you're younger is where the problem lies. Do 45-50 year old man walk into restaurants like a pimp wearing the latest fragrance and shoes? This is the difference I'm trying to point out Bomb. Young dudes are definitely MORE on the prowl for the opposite sex. Which is why it's so devastating.


When I'm older, I will be more concerned with my health than I will about appearance. Dumping chemicals on my head and taking a drug that *could* cause a more agressive form of prostate cancer will not be in my life sorry. (hell, im not doing it now!)

I dont know about the rest of you young dudes, but when I'm in my 40s to 50s, I want to be getting ready to retire, have my own house and maybe a wife w/kids. My main concern should be getting my kids through college or what have you. Not hairloss.
Also, I dont think you lose vanity as you age. I think you become more accepting of what time is doing with you.