I think this is how it goes for lots of people, baldness massively exacerbates pre-existing previously manageable problems and turns them into full blown mental illness. It's a major catastrophic life event and other huge things like cancer, a bereavement etc can have the same effect.
Personally it would be impossible for me to be the big bald guy, I just don't have the genetics, and it would also prompt another identity crisis. What I have had to do is build a new look/image for myself I can be happy with, which has taken a long time.
It's always been important to me to look like myself and not to be trying to be somebody else.
Believe me, I totally know where you're coming from and I sympathize with you. Sometimes I think about adopting the bald bad-*** look for myself, simply because I've loved weight-lifting for my entire adult life, so theoretically I could pull it off. But when I think about the rock n roll part of my life, that is when I start to feel the same identity crisis. That is why I never excessively preach to anyone to adopt any kind of look, because I know it doesn't work for everyone. There is no "one size fits all" solution to hair loss. I get a cynical laugh when fullheads say "look, there are millions of bald men living happy lives", as if this could ever be empirically proven.
You are totally correct with your last sentence. I believed that I had a very unique identity and my full head of long hair was absolutely vital to that identity.