No hair = no dates (online)?

[Smooth]

I tried to use the "Are you Intrested" application on pacebook {its a small add-on to meet women, fast, free and cuts right to the point} i tried with my own picture at start, and out of hundredths i got something like 20 replies, mostly from ugly chicks and some bots, which was kinda weird ratio... so i feagured either no one using the appolication or its becuase my appreance.... to isolate the conclusion i uploaded a picture of a friend of mine who is extremly good looking (with hes premmision ofc) then i clicked "Yes" like crazy, somehting like 200or so, went to get myself a drink and by the time i seat back i got something like 40-50 replies.... i let the picture for another day and it was crazy, all kind of women starting a conversation with me, most of ARE HOT!! all ages, all profasions, ranging from 18yo up to 45! later on i wrote under the description "not inrested in a serius relationships" .. you would think that might change things right?... not by one bit, they kept coming those superfical w****s... i couldnt belive it.. some chicks started converstation right on facebook, some send friendship reqests....

so my conclusion? :

- Online dating is first and foremost about looks, if you are hot, you dont have to work hard, post a picture and let them abs do the talk for you. (women there dont really care what you do for living or what you have to say, how you spend your time if your hot, they just want YOU no matter what!).

- If you are the regular type (such as myself), it drops significantly, you still can get some, but not as nearly as the first one. (your signature should imply your a "serious realasionship metiral", good job, house and money should cut it most of the time).

- If your ugly - waste of time (doesnt matter what you write...).

As at real world you can talk your way around your looks, or can demonstrate some confidence to attract, online dating takes this sagnificant factor out of the equation.

Minute percentage of women on those dating sites will disqualify you purly based on your baldness (i'd say soehitng like %5), its about the overall looks, some people can pull it off bald, the majority cant, so its not true to say that manny girls will disqualify you based on your baldness, they will based on your looks, and baldness makes most of us look bad...
just my 2c's..

 

[vipergts]

Ultimately it's about MONEY, like it or not! I have been hit on a million times when driving around town in my Viper. Have has panties thrown at the car (back when I had a lambo). BUT on my own, walking arond at a mall, club, etc I have never gotten CLOSE to that much attention. Here is a tip, if you are posting a profile online, make a VIDEO of yourself, be witty , funny and likeable - post it on youttube and include a link with your profile. A personal video reveals more than a friggin photo.

Viper

 

[ali777]

- If your ugly - waste of time (doesnt matter what you write...)

This is me! :mrgreen:

As at real world you can talk your way around your looks, or can demonstrate some confidence to attract, online dating takes this sagnificant factor out of the equation.

Minute percentage of women on those dating sites will disqualify you purly based on your baldness (i'd say soehitng like %5), its about the overall looks, some people can pull it off bald, the majority cant, so its not true to say that manny girls will disqualify you based on your baldness, they will based on your looks, and baldness makes most of us look bad...
just my 2c's

Being in the "ugly" category, I can assure you it doesn't get any better in real life. You will have very few if any oppurtunities to hook up with a decent "quality" girl who's attractive or even not that attractive. When you say "you can talk your way around your looks," I would say not always.

If your looks are really bad, you can't just "talk your way around them" trust me. How can you get a woman's attention away from your awful appearance, and even make any connection with her, when she is repulsed and grossed out just looking at you? It's not that easy, I can tell you that much!

I have lived through this scenario long before internet dating was even possible.

Here comes my daily "It can't be that bad" speech :dunno: ....

Dudemon, you occasionally visit the gym? So, your body must be half decent? I'm gonna borrow a page from CCS' book here :book: , half the population is overweight and you being in shape means you are way above the average when it comes to the body shape.... Do you not agree?

You play guitar? That means you have artistic abilities :&: and you aren't a moron. Not that people who don't have "special" abilities are morons, but you get my point.

Unless I see your picture, I will never believe you are "ugly" :whistle: ... I think your problem is that you don't give yourself a chance :thumbdown2: . You have to think positive so that others perceive you in a positive way :wub: .

 

[Smooth]

if you dont have any significant deficiencies (i dont know, missing an eye, no teeth or something of that sort) it cant be THAT bad, i want to see picture please.

 

[barcafan]

Pictures.

 

[s.a.f]

Dudemon how old were these women - 13?
American women must really be a totally different breed. You and CCS must live in Bitchville, Shallowvainia.
I can imagine them ignoring your presence if they felt you were really unnatractive but to be that bitchy?
I mean if they walk past an 80 yr old do they say "man that guy is soooo oooold!" or point out if someone is fat or short or whatever?

In this country that just would'nt happen. Even if you looked like the elephant man people would'nt feel that much urge to comment.

Nevermind because in a few years their looks will be sliding downhill aswell.

 

[ali777]

Dudemon how old were these women - 13?
American women must really be a totally different breed. You and CCS must live in Bitchville, Shallowvainia.
I can imagine them ignoring your presence if they felt you were really unnatractive but to be that bitchy?
I mean if they walk past an 80 yr old do they say "man that guy is soooo oooold!" or point out if someone is fat or short or whatever?

In this country that just would'nt happen. Even if you looked like the elephant man people would'nt feel that much urge to comment.

Nevermind because in a few years their looks will be sliding downhill aswell.

:agree:

I can see how young girls would be repelled if an old-er guy tries to make an eye contact, but an innocent guy standing next to them shouldn't get that sort of reaction.

TBH, I wouldn't take that sort of crap from anyone. If that was me there, just minding my own business, I'd go over and tell them off...

When I was 20-21, I was in a bar one night and this "ugly" woman in her 40s asked me if I wanted to have sex with her. I mean, come on, I was 20 and I thought she was ugly. Obviously, I didn't make any derogatory remarks, I just said that I have a gf and I'm not interested. Thinking about it, she was probably very normal for her age group. My point is that young people don't find the older generation attractive.

Just six months ago, I had 17" biceps, now I doubt they're even 15" :mrgreen:

Don't say such things out loud. CCS would get jealous :whistle:

As far as the guitar, it makes no difference whatsoever to women - trust me they could care less, unless you are in a band. Guys who have had hair transplant's and still don't look too good (hairwise), can't play in bands (bands that play gigs atleast). That's where I blew it. If I hadn't done the hair transplant thing, I could have been like Joe Satriani and shaved it all off and played in a band. The only way a woman would care about a guitar player by themselves is if they were a super gifted flamenco classical player. Otherwise forget it with women as far as being a guitar player. Even girls who play guitar themselves don't like you unless you're in a band.

It was meant to be something to make you feel better about yourself. You didn't have to come up with such a negative answer. I mean, there are positives about you, but you turn around and put yourself down. Can you not see it for yourself?

Besides, the thing about guys with hair transplant not being able to be in bands in absolute BS.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Unfortunately that IS a mentality that is pervasive here in the states. People read into your looks more and expect you to keep your image up to "acceptable standards". Of course this mentality is strongest amongst teens to mid/late twenties but carries over into the professional realm where image translates to success. People put far too much emphasis on physical beauty (especially here in California) so Dude's story doesn't surprise me much. I would totally expect that kind of reaction from young attractive women in that age group. Those kind of girls have a kind of obligation to voice their repulsion to anything that is not within their little pink bubble to their peers as a way of reinforcing their status and make them look better. How many hot b****s are out there who have complete attitude problems? Alot. Look at the reality show Bad Girls Club for example. Most young beautiful women are corrupted by their looks and are complete ego w****s who expect nothing less than male models or jocks for boyfriends.

 

[ali777]

Unfortunately that IS a mentality that is pervasive here in the states. People read into your looks more and expect you to keep your image up to "acceptable standards". Of course this mentality is strongest amongst teens to mid/late twenties but carries over into the professional realm where image translates to success. People put far too much emphasis on physical beauty (especially here in California) so Dude's story doesn't surprise me much. I would totally expect that kind of reaction from young attractive women in that age group. Those kind of girls have a kind of obligation to voice their repulsion to anything that is not within their little pink bubble to their peers as a way of reinforcing their status and make them look better. How many hot b****s are out there who have complete attitude problems? Alot. Look at the reality show Bad Girls Club for example. Most young beautiful women are corrupted by their looks and are complete ego w****s who expect nothing less than male models or jocks for boyfriends.

Bingo UM! You hit the nail on head. This s EXACTLY how a lot of women are here. I couldn't have said it any better.

Sorry Ali, thanks for trying to cheer me up. I didn't mean to be so negative. I do have some good qualities, but I really do have mountains to climb before I can feel and be on the same level as average guys. Until then, I can't expect much from women - basically nothing at all. The women here ARE exactly as UM said especially the young 20 something ones. Even the 30 and 40 something women here are like how UM describes to some degree.

Other guys, who look better than I (which is not hard to do) may not experience the same treatment from the same women. I guess you really have to be seriously lacking in good appearance, and "not-handsome" to know what it's like to be dissed by women all the time. It's similar to be being seriously bald versus only minimally bald. As we all know how women treat very bald guys different form minimally bald guys. With looks as a whole, it is the same thing.

Dudemon, if you are half as good looking as UM is, you are still decent looking... UM is way above the average. If he had some hair, he would be like Brad Pitt, but we can't have it all.

Now that I've seen UM's pic, I don't believe him, and I don't believe you neither unless I see it for myself.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Now that I've seen UM's pic, I don't believe him, and I don't believe you neither unless I see it for myself.

What exactly don't you believe? That people can be mean to the bald , or in particular...me? It does happen, sorry to say.
Last semester, in my history class there was another bald guy, probably an advanced nw4 (quite younger than me). He seemed comfortable with it as he hardly ever covered it up (better than me). I had a conversation with him once and I could tell he was bothered by it, naturally. We'll the other day I saw him crossing the main street at the intersection in front of the school (or as I call it, "the catwalk"). When I saw him, I said to myself, "I wonder if he will get any reactions?". When he crossed the street, nearly everyone he passed looked back at him, many shaking their heads in disapproval and a whole group of girls behind him hanging off of themselves laughing. I was right in my prediction, although I didn't want to be. You could say that maybe those girls heard a funny joke, but then you would be in denial IMO. How would you explain almost everyone looking back at him though......Ali?

 

[ali777]

Now that I've seen UM's pic, I don't believe him, and I don't believe you neither unless I see it for myself.

What exactly don't you believe? That people can be mean to the bald , or in particular...me? It does happen, sorry to say.
Last semester, in my history class there was another bald guy, probably an advanced nw4 (quite younger than me). He seemed comfortable with it as he hardly ever covered it up (better than me). I had a conversation with him once and I could tell he was bothered by it, naturally. We'll the other day I saw him crossing the main street at the intersection in front of the school (or as I call it, "the catwalk"). When I saw him, I said to myself, "I wonder if he will get any reactions?". When he crossed the street, nearly everyone he passed looked back at him, many shaking their heads in disapproval and a whole group of girls behind him hanging off of themselves laughing. I was right in my prediction, although I didn't want to be. You could say that maybe those girls heard a funny joke, but then you would be in denial IMO. How would you explain almost everyone looking back at him though......Ali?

Dude.. Tough luck!!! What do you want me to say?

You are a tall, slim guy. You have nice eyes, etc... Use your strengths.

Lots of people would kill to have your body. Try to look at it as the glass is half full!!!

I bet, if I put you next to an "average" man in front of 20 women, and ask them to choose the better looking guy, they will choose you.... Now you are going to disagree, or say something like I don't want to be average...

PS: You have to be brutally honest with the definition of an average 33yo male as well...

 

[Quantum Cat]

Dudemon, post some pics of you. Nobody knows what your real name is. I think it may boost your confidence.

 

[s.a.f]

Now that I've seen UM's pic, I don't believe him, and I don't believe you neither unless I see it for myself.

What exactly don't you believe? That people can be mean to the bald , or in particular...me? It does happen, sorry to say.
Last semester, in my history class there was another bald guy, probably an advanced nw4 (quite younger than me). He seemed comfortable with it as he hardly ever covered it up (better than me). I had a conversation with him once and I could tell he was bothered by it, naturally. We'll the other day I saw him crossing the main street at the intersection in front of the school (or as I call it, "the catwalk"). When I saw him, I said to myself, "I wonder if he will get any reactions?". When he crossed the street, nearly everyone he passed looked back at him, many shaking their heads in disapproval and a whole group of girls behind him hanging off of themselves laughing. I was right in my prediction, although I didn't want to be. You could say that maybe those girls heard a funny joke, but then you would be in denial IMO. How would you explain almost everyone looking back at him though......Ali?

How can this be possible?
I mean they must see dozens of bald men everyday its not like its some freaky condition. Why would they even care about a total stranger?
And what about obese people in your country? You have millions of them are they also openly ridiculed in the street?
If they feel compelled to pass judgemen on every passer by in the street they cant get much done during their day.

I've been the butt of many a bald joke and recieved plenty of comments but never from total strangers. I'm really finding it hard to believe things can be so different in the U.S.

 

[Quantum Cat]

A 20 year old guy with a high norwood does stand out from the crowd though, especially in a place like a college or uni with lots of other young people.

then again, somebody who is incredibly self-conscious about their hairloss and reacts angrily when people point it out, is likely to elicit more mickey-taking, than someone who is comfortable with it.

 

[barcafan]

[quote="uncomfortable man":14bppbgh]

Now that I've seen UM's pic, I don't believe him, and I don't believe you neither unless I see it for myself.

What exactly don't you believe? That people can be mean to the bald , or in particular...me? It does happen, sorry to say.
Last semester, in my history class there was another bald guy, probably an advanced nw4 (quite younger than me). He seemed comfortable with it as he hardly ever covered it up (better than me). I had a conversation with him once and I could tell he was bothered by it, naturally. We'll the other day I saw him crossing the main street at the intersection in front of the school (or as I call it, "the catwalk"). When I saw him, I said to myself, "I wonder if he will get any reactions?". When he crossed the street, nearly everyone he passed looked back at him, many shaking their heads in disapproval and a whole group of girls behind him hanging off of themselves laughing. I was right in my prediction, although I didn't want to be. You could say that maybe those girls heard a funny joke, but then you would be in denial IMO. How would you explain almost everyone looking back at him though......Ali?

How can this be possible?
I mean they must see dozens of bald men everyday its not like its some freaky condition. Why would they even care about a total stranger?
And what about obese people in your country? You have millions of them are they also openly ridiculed in the street?
If they feel compelled to pass judgemen on every passer by in the street they cant get much done during their day.

I've been the butt of many a bald joke and recieved plenty of comments but never from total strangers. I'm really finding it hard to believe things can be so different in the U.S.[/quote:14bppbgh]

Same thing in canada, man. Never ONCE when i was with my dad (Either as a kid or recently) have i seen anybody talk to or gawk at him (or say 'ewwwwwwwwwwwww' in a rude manner (that had to do with his baldness). Not f*****g once, he's a NW7 since his early 20's. And i'm from toronto, not some rural village.

That's why its really hard to imagine people doing that kind of sh*t. It doesnt make any sense since there's so many imperfect people around.

 

[uncomfortable man]

It's the context fellas. The guy I was talking about is an advanced nw4 in his early twenties going to a Junior College with kids that are literally out of high school, not some 70 yo guy at a fish market. IOW, he DID stand out where he was. There are 3 bald students at my school. I live in a very young college town so actually bald people are very rare and strange here. Everyone is a young hippy with long flowing hair and the latest fashions. I see very few bald people where I live, middle aged men included. To SAF, they weren't saying anything to his face, they all just gave him a look after they passed him, you know the double take. Everything was behind his back from what I saw.
P.S. Just because someone is a total stranger doesn't make it any easier, in fact it makes it harder because you know you are getting a more objective appraisal, than a friend or aquaintence who will hold back and is more immune to your appearance anyway.

 

[s.a.f]

Sorry but I have to say this negative thinking is getting out of hand. And this is coming from someone who in the past has been accused of being too negative about hairloss.

Firstly I still dont believe that bald people are ridiculed by strangers in the street on a regular basis. I was pretty much bald in my late 20's but my face is very young looking (even with a bald head people still called me sonny, kid, lad ect) so people probably thought I was a bald guy in my early 20's. And I dont remember ever getting this kind of ridicule.

And as for bands maybe a balding or hair transplant'd lead singer would struggle but a guitarist? Most of them are ugly as hell anyway.
Look at Chester Benson of Linkin Park, first time I ever saw him he was a bespectacled, small skinny, geeky looking guy with what appeared to be hair cut short due to mild hairloss. Did it stop people from liking him or buying his music?

Even if he could play as good as Joe Satriani, he is still going to be rejected - not for his playing, but his appearance. No girls will go to a "show" with a band that has a guitar player who looks like an ultra-geek that had hair transplants that didn't work. No guys in the audience at that show will have any respect for that guitar player either.

Here in the UK Oasis became one of the countries biggest bands even though their guitarist 'Paul Arthurs' was practicly bald and grew his hair long in a kind of semi combover style.
[attachment=0:igz3qzif]Paul+Arthurs+_429918_oasis_brits150.jpg[/attachment:igz3qzif]
When you listen to a band do you care if their members are bald, fat, goodlooking ect?
Well if you dont then what makes you believe that everybody else does? I personally have never been bothered about the appearance of the bands I like even as a teenager.

HEY IF THATS THE CASE WE SHOULD ALL BE LISTENING TO THE JONAS BROTHERS!

I know its tough being a young bald guy or even an old bald guy, but although Dudemon, HP and UCman are in a way my comrades on here since they have experienced true baldness rather than just minor hairloss, I do believe that they have let the negative experiences alter their judgement and put them in a paranoid state of mind.

 

[s.a.f]

Sorry but many really talented musicians dont look that great Hair or not. Look at some of the biggest bands in the world, are they all pretty boys?
If you've got the talent only a fool would reject you based on looks.
Of course most people made it before they went bald, since most bands make it in their early 20's.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

How can this be possible?
I mean they must see dozens of bald men everyday its not like its some freaky condition. Why would they even care about a total stranger?
And what about obese people in your country? You have millions of them are they also openly ridiculed in the street?
If they feel compelled to pass judgemen on every passer by in the street they cant get much done during their day.

I've been the butt of many a bald joke and recieved plenty of comments but never from total strangers. I'm really finding it hard to believe things can be so different in the U.S.

I see bald guys who look good, some who look unnoticeable.

Then I see bald guys who just look BAD bald. That is the difference.

Not everyone looks the same. I know one guy at my gym is bald and it looks so bad. He is pale and thin and looks like he is sick. Another guy there looks good as it goes with his face.

 

[barcafan]

How can this be possible?
I mean they must see dozens of bald men everyday its not like its some freaky condition. Why would they even care about a total stranger?
And what about obese people in your country? You have millions of them are they also openly ridiculed in the street?
If they feel compelled to pass judgemen on every passer by in the street they cant get much done during their day.

I've been the butt of many a bald joke and recieved plenty of comments but never from total strangers. I'm really finding it hard to believe things can be so different in the U.S.

I see bald guys who look good, some who look unnoticeable.

Then I see bald guys who just look BAD bald. That is the difference.

Not everyone looks the same. I know one guy at my gym is bald and it looks so bad. He is pale and thin and looks like he is sick. Another guy there looks good as it goes with his face.

So i guess You and UCM have somewhat different reasons for hating baldness. UCM feels like hes being persecuted simply for his lack of hair not necessarily how much worse it supposedly makes him look. From you, i gather that you simply do not like the effect hairloss has on your overall look, not the simple fact of lacking hair. I'm not very articulate but this is what i gather from the tone of your posts.