OKCupid Chat: Girl Considers Dumping Balding Boyfriend

[Oknow]

My take on it: it's OK for them to be superficial.

They can no more help being superficial than we can help losing our hair. If you can't be sexually attracted to a partner, you can't make yourself attracted. And if your bald partner is a turn off, you have to either choose to stay despite the attraction going, or be honest with yourself about how you don't like it.

They're stuck in the same game as us. The best you can do is try and maximize your results within the rules we're given.

Well with one response she was lumping it in with obesity!

male pattern baldness is GENETIC, so they should be more understanding for that reason alone. Utter bull.

 

[Boondock]

My take on it: it's OK for them to be superficial.

They can no more help being superficial than we can help losing our hair. If you can't be sexually attracted to a partner, you can't make yourself attracted. And if your bald partner is a turn off, you have to either choose to stay despite the attraction going, or be honest with yourself about how you don't like it.

They're stuck in the same game as us. The best you can do is try and maximize your results within the rules we're given.

Well with one response she was lumping it in with obesity!

male pattern baldness is GENETIC, so they should be more understanding for that reason alone. Utter bull.

They should be, but they won't be. You can't help it.

Dwarfism is genetic. That doesn't mean everyone will overlook the height issue and go for the guy regardless. It isn't his fault, but life isn't fair like that.

 

[Hoppi]

Whenever I _worry_ about hairpieces and stuff, I just look at this guy

http://www.hairdirect.com/video/clients/ron.aspx


Looks fine to me

 

[Boondock]

It's also worth looking at this thread on HLH: http://www.hairlosshelp.com/forums/mess ... TARTPAGE=1

This guy posted pics of the girl and the guy. Just search for RSR38 on the thread. I won't reproduce the pics out of respect for his friends.

The story is:

One of my friends (Jessica) is a very pretty woman that I dated right after I was divorced. She is 26, a truly wonderful woman, naturally beautiful, and funny. She has a Masters and is a Physical Therapist making really good money. She is single and has been trying to find a serious relationship with the right man for a couple of years. She tells me everything about her dates, etc. and I have even set her up on a few.

Well a couple of weeks ago, at a club, I introduced her to a good friend of mine. His name is Carson and he is a resident Doctor at a local hospital here in Daytona Beach. He is 31 or 32 and is in excellent physical shape. Everybody loves his personality and he can make a gathering that much better just with his great attitude and conversation. I love the guy. If I was a chick, this is the guy you would want to marry. BUT, Carson is BALD.

So, fast forward to a couple days ago and ask Jessica if she has been talking to Carson. She tells me that they have texted and talked and he had asked her out. He also is looking for a serious woman to settle down with. I was really excited because they are perfect for each other. So I asked her what she was going to do and she said, "I can't date him 'cause he's BALD"! I was like, "WHAT THE F-CK"!!! I was insulted and really upset with her.

If that wasn't bad enough, she tells me she met a guy on an online dating service and they are going on a date. She goes on to tell me that he is a "marine tech" (boat mechanic) and has sleeve tatoos covering his arms and he won't go to a restaurant or club with a dress code because, "he doesn't do dress codes". I haven't seen him, but I'll bet he has all his hair.

THAT IS REALITY, not always, but enough to justify what a lot of you have said.

Here is a pic of Jessica (she is the tallest one in purple dress) and another pic of Carson so you can see for yourserlf. Seriously, Carson does the bald look well and he's a f-ing DOCTOR!!! I'm only gonna leav the pics up for a day or so out of respect for Carson, but it really helps to make the point.

 

[Oknow]

My take on it: it's OK for them to be superficial.

They can no more help being superficial than we can help losing our hair. If you can't be sexually attracted to a partner, you can't make yourself attracted. And if your bald partner is a turn off, you have to either choose to stay despite the attraction going, or be honest with yourself about how you don't like it.

They're stuck in the same game as us. The best you can do is try and maximize your results within the rules we're given.

Well with one response she was lumping it in with obesity!

male pattern baldness is GENETIC, so they should be more understanding for that reason alone. Utter bull.

They should be, but they won't be. You can't help it.

Dwarfism is genetic. That doesn't mean everyone will overlook the height issue and go for the guy regardless. It isn't his fault, but life isn't fair like that.

yeah sure.

But then again much more men are affected male pattern baldness. You see them everywhere. A lot of guys have at least some recession, and i bet you any money these b****s being shallow are not oil paintings themselves. Some of them are probably out of shape, having nothing going for the outside of their looks, have crooked noses etc.

These girls need to wake up, like seriously.

 

[Boondock]

Whenever I _worry_ about hairpieces and stuff, I just look at this guy

http://www.hairdirect.com/video/clients/ron.aspx


Looks fine to me

IMO, hair pieces are like any other hair loss solution. They can work for some people, but they come with side effects.

With finasteride, people's sides may be watery semen or slightly lower libido.

With wigs, the sides are the hassle of application, the psychological fears of being found out, and the risk of pushing future partners away when they find out.

It works for some people and not for others. All I'm saying is I think it's worth a try in my case.

 

[Boondock]

yeah sure.

But then again much more men are affected male pattern baldness. You see them everywhere. A lot of guys have at least some recession, and i bet you any money these b****s being shallow are not oil paintings themselves. Some of them are probably out of shape, having nothing going for the outside of their looks, have crooked noses etc.

These girls need to wake up, like seriously.

For sure, but regardless of how common it is: they don't have a choice.

If a girl isn't attracted to bald guys, she can't make herself attracted to bald guys. I'm sure many of them realize how irrational it is, but they can't change it either.

So they either choose to go with someone they're not attracted to, or they just don't get with the bald guy. Most girls have a NW1 option somewhere, as was the case in the HLH thread clip I posted just above (where, if you follow the link, the bald guy looked GOOD bald, was a great guy, a doctor, very successful, and so on).

 

[Petchsky]

@Petsch For sure, there are mixed opinions on the topic. I'm not saying that all women hate all bald men.

I just think it shows that there is real truth in the stuff that UCMan and Dudemon talk about. Some women really do see balding as a dealbreaker, and some really do want to leave their husbands - men they dated and chose to spend their lives with - just because of it.

I'm not really a glass half full kinda guy, obviously. I see the glass half empty, but think we should do our best to try and fill it back up again - by any means necessary.

Yeah some women do, but imo and experience they are in a minority, and not worth focusing on and getting upset about...for all we know the girls on that message board are right munters.

 

[Oknow]

It's also worth looking at this thread on HLH: http://www.hairlosshelp.com/forums/mess ... TARTPAGE=1

This guy posted pics of the girl and the guy. Just search for RSR38 on the thread. I won't reproduce the pics out of respect for his friends.

The story is:

One of my friends (Jessica) is a very pretty woman that I dated right after I was divorced. She is 26, a truly wonderful woman, naturally beautiful, and funny. She has a Masters and is a Physical Therapist making really good money. She is single and has been trying to find a serious relationship with the right man for a couple of years. She tells me everything about her dates, etc. and I have even set her up on a few.

Well a couple of weeks ago, at a club, I introduced her to a good friend of mine. His name is Carson and he is a resident Doctor at a local hospital here in Daytona Beach. He is 31 or 32 and is in excellent physical shape. Everybody loves his personality and he can make a gathering that much better just with his great attitude and conversation. I love the guy. If I was a chick, this is the guy you would want to marry. BUT, Carson is BALD.

So, fast forward to a couple days ago and ask Jessica if she has been talking to Carson. She tells me that they have texted and talked and he had asked her out. He also is looking for a serious woman to settle down with. I was really excited because they are perfect for each other. So I asked her what she was going to do and she said, "I can't date him 'cause he's BALD"! I was like, "WHAT THE F-CK"!!! I was insulted and really upset with her.

If that wasn't bad enough, she tells me she met a guy on an online dating service and they are going on a date. She goes on to tell me that he is a "marine tech" (boat mechanic) and has sleeve tatoos covering his arms and he won't go to a restaurant or club with a dress code because, "he doesn't do dress codes". I haven't seen him, but I'll bet he has all his hair.

THAT IS REALITY, not always, but enough to justify what a lot of you have said.

Here is a pic of Jessica (she is the tallest one in purple dress) and another pic of Carson so you can see for yourserlf. Seriously, Carson does the bald look well and he's a f-ing DOCTOR!!! I'm only gonna leav the pics up for a day or so out of respect for Carson, but it really helps to make the point.

lol Carson is a good looking guy. Better looking then her anyway, no homo.

 

[Boondock]

It's also worth looking at this thread on HLH: http://www.hairlosshelp.com/forums/mess ... TARTPAGE=1

This guy posted pics of the girl and the guy. Just search for RSR38 on the thread. I won't reproduce the pics out of respect for his friends.

The story is:

One of my friends (Jessica) is a very pretty woman that I dated right after I was divorced. She is 26, a truly wonderful woman, naturally beautiful, and funny. She has a Masters and is a Physical Therapist making really good money. She is single and has been trying to find a serious relationship with the right man for a couple of years. She tells me everything about her dates, etc. and I have even set her up on a few.

Well a couple of weeks ago, at a club, I introduced her to a good friend of mine. His name is Carson and he is a resident Doctor at a local hospital here in Daytona Beach. He is 31 or 32 and is in excellent physical shape. Everybody loves his personality and he can make a gathering that much better just with his great attitude and conversation. I love the guy. If I was a chick, this is the guy you would want to marry. BUT, Carson is BALD.

So, fast forward to a couple days ago and ask Jessica if she has been talking to Carson. She tells me that they have texted and talked and he had asked her out. He also is looking for a serious woman to settle down with. I was really excited because they are perfect for each other. So I asked her what she was going to do and she said, "I can't date him 'cause he's BALD"! I was like, "WHAT THE F-CK"!!! I was insulted and really upset with her.

If that wasn't bad enough, she tells me she met a guy on an online dating service and they are going on a date. She goes on to tell me that he is a "marine tech" (boat mechanic) and has sleeve tatoos covering his arms and he won't go to a restaurant or club with a dress code because, "he doesn't do dress codes". I haven't seen him, but I'll bet he has all his hair.

THAT IS REALITY, not always, but enough to justify what a lot of you have said.

Here is a pic of Jessica (she is the tallest one in purple dress) and another pic of Carson so you can see for yourserlf. Seriously, Carson does the bald look well and he's a f-ing DOCTOR!!! I'm only gonna leav the pics up for a day or so out of respect for Carson, but it really helps to make the point.

lol Carson is a good looking guy. Better looking then her anyway, no homo.

Exactly. How many other traits can you think of as being such a complete deal breaker? This guy is perfect in every other area.

Can you imagine women ruling out a guy who was perfect in every area except he had ginger hair? Or was slightly skinny? Or wore glasses? Or even had a glass eye?

The only things of comparable impact are extreme shortness (like below 5'4" or something), and extreme obesity. That's the sort of level hair loss puts you on, in my opinion (obviously not for all bald guys).

 

[Hoppi]

Whenever I _worry_ about hairpieces and stuff, I just look at this guy

http://www.hairdirect.com/video/clients/ron.aspx


Looks fine to me

IMO, hair pieces are like any other hair loss solution. They can work for some people, but they come with side effects.

With finasteride, people's sides may be watery semen or slightly lower libido.

With wigs, the sides are the hassle of application, the psychological fears of being found out, and the risk of pushing future partners away when they find out.

It works for some people and not for others. All I'm saying is I think it's worth a try in my case.

Totally man, if you look anywhere as cool as he does though you'll be fine ^^

Why not just dump your head in a vast vat of fluridil, spironolactone and revivogen though? That's my backup plan lol

And RU if I can get my grubby mitts on it at a good price hehehe ^^

 

[Obsidian]

Well considering this is one girl, I look at this way if you got the whole package (good career, decent body, dress well, are driven, and have good qualities) I don't think hair-loss will be the deal-breaker. Plus like Petchsky said, as girls get older they realized security in the financial way is just as important and sometimes more important than looks. Pretty is nice, but it doesn't pay the billd.

 

[Boondock]

Whenever I _worry_ about hairpieces and stuff, I just look at this guy

http://www.hairdirect.com/video/clients/ron.aspx


Looks fine to me

IMO, hair pieces are like any other hair loss solution. They can work for some people, but they come with side effects.

With finasteride, people's sides may be watery semen or slightly lower libido.

With wigs, the sides are the hassle of application, the psychological fears of being found out, and the risk of pushing future partners away when they find out.

It works for some people and not for others. All I'm saying is I think it's worth a try in my case.

Totally man, if you look anywhere as cool as he does though you'll be fine ^^

Why not just dump your head in a vast vat of fluridil, spironolactone and revivogen though? That's my backup plan lol

And RU if I can get my grubby mitts on it at a good price hehehe ^^

I've looked at the topical options, but my success has been limited on all of them. I'm still soldiering on with fluridil, but results are, at best, a slowing of the loss.

RU has too many drawbacks for me.

 

[superfrankie]

You can NEVER question what someone feel physical attraction for. Male or female. Attraction is NOT something you choose. You cannot blaim a girl for not finding baldness attractive (even though in most cases I think it depends on how well the individual bald guy carry the look in the first place)

I dont find overweight girls attractive? can I help it? NO

many girls dont find baldness attractive, can they help it? NO

...and is there something we can do about it? NO

 

[s.a.f]

My take on it: it's OK for them to be superficial.

They can no more help being superficial than we can help losing our hair. If you can't be sexually attracted to a partner, you can't make yourself attracted. And if your bald partner is a turn off, you have to either choose to stay despite the attraction going, or be honest with yourself about how you don't like it.

They're stuck in the same game as us. The best you can do is try and maximize your results within the rules we're given.

Well with one response she was lumping it in with obesity!

male pattern baldness is GENETIC, so they should be more understanding for that reason alone. Utter bull.

Yes its genetic but until its effecting them personally they will never think about it enough to realise this. Why even bother with a bald guy when there are plenty of similar guys out there but with the added bonus of hair to choose from.

Imagine if you saw a woman with facial disfigurment would you spend anytime thinking about her situation? Would you think about the unfairness of it? She might be a great girl but would you really consider asking her for a date?
I think in all honesty most of us would just think poor girl for about 10 seconds then forget her and pursue some different girl who was'nt disfigured.

 

[Oknow]

My take on it: it's OK for them to be superficial.

They can no more help being superficial than we can help losing our hair. If you can't be sexually attracted to a partner, you can't make yourself attracted. And if your bald partner is a turn off, you have to either choose to stay despite the attraction going, or be honest with yourself about how you don't like it.

They're stuck in the same game as us. The best you can do is try and maximize your results within the rules we're given.

Well with one response she was lumping it in with obesity!

male pattern baldness is GENETIC, so they should be more understanding for that reason alone. Utter bull.

Yes its genetic but until its effecting them personally they will never think about it enough to realise this. Why even bother with a bald guy when there are plenty of similar guys out there but with the added bonus of hair to choose from.

Imagine if you saw a woman with facial disfigurment would you spend anytime thinking about her situation? Would you think about the unfairness of it? She might be a great girl but would you really consider asking her for a date?
I think in all honesty most of us would just think poor girl for about 10 seconds then forget her and pursue some different girl who was'nt disfigured.

Guess you gotta play the odds, as my work collegue has shown, there is a b**ch for everybody; a relatively good looking one. Prior to her, he kept getting blown out.

Are you single saf?

 

[superfrankie]

Yes its genetic but until its effecting them personally they will never think about it enough to realise this. Why even bother with a bald guy when there are plenty of similar guys out there but with the added bonus of hair to choose from.

Imagine if you saw a woman with facial disfigurment would you spend anytime thinking about her situation? Would you think about the unfairness of it? She might be a great girl but would you really consider asking her for a date?
I think in all honesty most of us would just think poor girl for about 10 seconds then forget her and pursue some different girl who was'nt disfigured.

EXACTLY! :bravo:

 

[s.a.f]

Guess you gotta play the odds, as my work collegue has shown, there is a b**ch for everybody; a relatively good looking one. Prior to her, he kept getting blown out.

Are you single saf?

Yeah I am :dunno:

I think us bald guys are fishing the same ocean but we have a much smaller net.

Ps Is this thread on fire or what ?!?! :shock:

 

[Hoppi]

I've looked at the topical options, but my success has been limited on all of them. I'm still soldiering on with fluridil, but results are, at best, a slowing of the loss.

RU has too many drawbacks for me.

just combine them man ^^

That's the thing. Bear in mind that they all work in different ways! Revivo/finasteride inhibits 5ar, spironolactone/RU block receptors, fluridil/asc-j9 degrades them, equol (my good friend equol xD) mops up DHT. So as good old El dutasteride always says, you can use this to develop and synergic approach that tackles the problem at various stages.

And then of course you can improve each stage with time. So you can swap fluridil for asc-j9, spironolactone for RU, etc, as access to the new substances becomes possible

 

[Boondock]

I've looked at the topical options, but my success has been limited on all of them. I'm still soldiering on with fluridil, but results are, at best, a slowing of the loss.

RU has too many drawbacks for me.

just combine them man ^^

That's the thing. Bear in mind that they all work in different ways! Revivo/finasteride inhibits 5ar, spironolactone/RU block receptors, fluridil/asc-j9 degrades them, equol (my good friend equol xD) mops up DHT. So as good old El dutasteride always says, you can use this to develop and synergic approach that tackles the problem at various stages.

And then of course you can improve each stage with time. So you can swap fluridil for asc-j9, spironolactone for RU, etc, as access to the new substances becomes possible

I've combined them, tried different things, and so on. It doesn't work for me man. I haven't seen many people have long-term success with any of these treatments, to be honest with you.

It's a constant hamster-wheel with no progress at all.

RU just has too many drawbacks, e.g:
- expensive
- no security of supply
- huge preparation hassle
- huge storage hassle (in a freezer, no less)
- uncertainty surrounding safety
- uncertainty surrounding effectiveness

Add to that the fact that I'm pretty far gone now in my loss, and with none of these treatments have a hope of regrowth. Staying put even now is not a great solution.

I'm giving the wig a try to see if it works out. If it doesn't, I'm just going to have to shave, monitor loss, and perhaps try and hair transplant back to a NW3 in several years time.

What I do know is that these topicals do very little for me beyond slowing the natural process.