OKCupid Chat: Girl Considers Dumping Balding Boyfriend

[Hoppi]

That does suck. Why not try a mild internal DHT reduction as well? 0.25mg finasteride every other day?

And if equol does work (and I really, honestly don't think there is any big reason to think it wouldn't, I can't understand the negativity about the chemical in theory) then perhaps it could be an alternative. Beta-sitosterol I wouldn't really recommend too much, I think it's just too mild tbh.

 

[Boondock]

That does suck. Why not try a mild internal DHT reduction as well? 0.25mg finasteride every other day?

And if equol does work (and I really, honestly don't think there is any big reason to think it wouldn't, I can't understand the negativity about the chemical in theory) then perhaps it could be an alternative. Beta-sitosterol I wouldn't really recommend too much, I think it's just too mild tbh.

Low-dose finasteride? Been there, done that.

I've been in this game longer than you man. I've tried all these things and I've got to the point where I need to take serious action.

It's not just that I've had enough of the treatment hamster wheel (although I have). It's that I'm currently in a position where I could fairly convincingly transition into a wig, if it works for me. If I keep spinning my wheels trying different alternatives until I hit NW5, it'll be much harder for me.

I don't know if equol will work, but I wouldn't count on it. There comes a point when you have to draw a line and stop trying all sorts of experiments. I am at that point.

 

[Hoppi]

Low-dose finasteride? Been there, done that.

I've been in this game longer than you man. I've tried all these things and I've got to the point where I need to take serious action.

It's not just that I've had enough of the treatment hamster wheel (although I have). It's that I'm currently in a position where I could fairly convincingly transition into a wig, if it works for me. If I keep spinning my wheels trying different alternatives until I hit NW5, it'll be much harder for me.

I don't know if equol will work, but I wouldn't count on it. There comes a point when you have to draw a line and stop trying all sorts of experiments. I am at that point.

I understand. One quick thing though - how many vials of fluridil did you use daily?

 

[sadscalp]

Well, boo-f*****g-hoo.

 

[Boondock]

Low-dose finasteride? Been there, done that.

I've been in this game longer than you man. I've tried all these things and I've got to the point where I need to take serious action.

It's not just that I've had enough of the treatment hamster wheel (although I have). It's that I'm currently in a position where I could fairly convincingly transition into a wig, if it works for me. If I keep spinning my wheels trying different alternatives until I hit NW5, it'll be much harder for me.

I don't know if equol will work, but I wouldn't count on it. There comes a point when you have to draw a line and stop trying all sorts of experiments. I am at that point.

I understand. One quick thing though - how many vials of fluridil did you use daily?

One ampule daily.

I'm aware that some claim two can make a difference, but while I might see an improvement on 1 vial, I can't see it being a game-changer, quite frankly. And at 1000 euros a year, I really don't want to just 'try it out'.

Basically man, my situation is that I'm sick of this constantly being on my mind. The reason it's constantly on my mind is because it's a slow deterioration and because everything I throw at it doesn't work, leading me to research more, find the next thing, try that out, and repeat the process.

If I can solve it with a wig, great. If I can't, it's shave time. Either way, at least I'll be able to move on from this. Like I said, I'm through with experiments. It's always "just one more thing" to try and nothing ever really works. I'm not prepared to blow 1000 euros a year just to see a slightly slower deterioration of my situation than before.

 

[Hoppi]

Thing is erm, El dutasteride swears by 2 ampules not 1.

I dunno man BUT like I've just posted in the main forum area I would be very, very interested in meeting a keen chemist (or similar) as dude I am sick of this male pattern baldness BS lol (not just for me, I mean in general as a problem!) and I would love to shove together not only a bioavailable s-eq supplement but also cheaper RU and asc-j9. Dude, I'm gonna make this thing bite the dust even if it takes me down with it lol ^^

 

[Boondock]

Thing is erm, El dutasteride swears by 2 ampules not 1.

I dunno man BUT like I've just posted in the main forum area I would be very, very interested in meeting a keen chemist (or similar) as dude I am sick of this male pattern baldness BS lol (not just for me, I mean in general as a problem!) and I would love to shove together not only a bioavailable s-eq supplement but also cheaper RU and asc-j9. Dude, I'm gonna make this thing bite the dust even if it takes me down with it lol ^^

The recommended dose is 1 ampule. I know el dutasteride swears by 2, but I really don't care. His entire basis for this is anecdotal. Even if it were true, I don't expect to go from barely any effectiveness to super effectiveness just from an increased dose.

I wish we had a way to stop this man, but at best we have imperfect treatments. Just the way it is.

I'm still kinda surprised baldness made it through the genetic mix all these years. We should have been weeded out of the gene pool by now. Alas, we just have to deal with the insanity as it comes.

 

[Hoppi]

ha, yeah.

El dutasteride is wicked though, I love the dude hehe, I love the fact he seems as passionate about his hair as I do to actually stop at like NOTHING to keep it xD

Hmm, I guess that's that

You wouldn't consider just trying 2 ampules + spironolactone + revivogen? I mean surely that's absolute obliteration lol

But yeah.. I need a chemist! ^^

 

[qball01]

Can you imagine women ruling out a guy who was perfect in every area except he had ginger hair? Or was slightly skinny? Or wore glasses? Or even had a glass eye?

The only things of comparable impact are extreme shortness (like below 5'4" or something), and extreme obesity. That's the sort of level hair loss puts you on, in my opinion (obviously not for all bald guys.

you serious man? Yes I can imagine...and have personally witnessed women reject a guy who is perfect in every area just because he had something like ginger hair....or because he was even 5'8 in height! You act like baldness is this unique dealbreaker...there are traits that will get a man rejected by SOME women regardless of anything else...and I mean ANYTHING else. Some women won't date a man under 6 foot...they just won't do it no matter what! And its not like 5'8-5'11 is considered that short...but still, for some women a man needs to be over 6 feet tall to be date-able.

People need to get over this idea that some women will reject them for being bald. I know its a shitty feeling...and if it were the vast vast majority of women then I would agree with your stance. But its just how it is. The great part is, many of these women doing the rejecting are unattractive themselves....its comical, but thats life! Like in Carson's case from that thread you posted...notice how the poster said he has no problem at all with dating hot girls...but lo and behold, some gangly, tall, not-so-hot girl rejected him solely for being bald...you think he'd give a sh*t?!

Put it this way....if you apply for jobs and your resume gets rejected by Mcdonalds and Burger King, but you get accepted for a mid-level position by a Fortune 500 company...are you really gonna give a sh*t that you were rejected by those burger joints? No...if anything you will laugh at them and appreciate the fact that you wound up with a much better job anyways. Thats how you have to view baldness...understand that for some women, its going to be a dealbreaker...but some of those women are going to be fat and ugly themselves....and some of the women who won't mind at all are going to be really hot themselves. I know an acquaintance who is a 23 year old Norwood 6 (shaved). Dating a girl who is hotter than like 98 percent of females alive....she models, and is gorgeous...really cool, down to earth girl as well. I'm sure there are quite a few girls out there who would reject him right away because hes bald...you think hes going to really give a f*** about that when hes railing his supermodel-esque girlfriend every night? NO!

The point is...if you can accept the fact that your quantity of women will decrease, you can take solace in the fact that your quality of women may in fact increase, being that any girl who does end up with you as a bald man is obviously going to have the depth of mind not to judge you solely on one physical quality. I think the ultimate key is not letting the women who would reject you in the first place sap your confidence completely and thus prevent you from finding the women who won't give a f*** about your lack of hair....and contrary to what some people on here try and argue...those women DO exist. What I've realized though is that it starts with accepting the negative aspects so you can still go on and find the positives...if you dwell on the negative to the point where it completely interferes with you thinking or doing positive things....that's when you're sh*t out of luck.

 

[Ori83]

if you can accept the fact that your quantity of women will decrease, you can take solace in the fact that your quality of women may in fact increase, being that any girl who does end up with you as a bald man is obviously going to have the depth of mind not to judge you solely on one physical quality.

this is very very true! i realize this only recently since i started to look for a meaningful relationship, when you want to settle down or atleast have one normal girlfriend then you cant base your relations around looks, it is important to have attraction but a girl that overrule you strictly for being bald doesn't worth your time to begin with, think how sh*t you would feel if you had a full head of hair, then get into a relationship with someone you love and then when you start losing your hair she will drop you too..... in that regard hairloss works as a perfect filter,

yet i cant ignore the younger guys on here that are looking to have fun (early twenties), at that age it really sux and id recommend these guys to do anything in their powers to keep the hair or fix it with hair transplant or a wig, they shouldn't miss out on those experiences i think...

 

[Hoppi]

I didn't say that... lol

 

[Oknow]

One of my mates has shacked up with a NW5. She is very very pretty, I was into her at one point.

That should give all of you extreme baldies hope. I bet this guy has a lot of confidence despite being rejected by other girls.

 

[worldlyman]

It's also worth looking at this thread on HLH: http://www.hairlosshelp.com/forums/mess ... TARTPAGE=1

This guy posted pics of the girl and the guy. Just search for RSR38 on the thread. I won't reproduce the pics out of respect for his friends.

The story is:

One of my friends (Jessica) is a very pretty woman that I dated right after I was divorced. She is 26, a truly wonderful woman, naturally beautiful, and funny. She has a Masters and is a Physical Therapist making really good money. She is single and has been trying to find a serious relationship with the right man for a couple of years. She tells me everything about her dates, etc. and I have even set her up on a few.

Well a couple of weeks ago, at a club, I introduced her to a good friend of mine. His name is Carson and he is a resident Doctor at a local hospital here in Daytona Beach. He is 31 or 32 and is in excellent physical shape. Everybody loves his personality and he can make a gathering that much better just with his great attitude and conversation. I love the guy. If I was a chick, this is the guy you would want to marry. BUT, Carson is BALD.

So, fast forward to a couple days ago and ask Jessica if she has been talking to Carson. She tells me that they have texted and talked and he had asked her out. He also is looking for a serious woman to settle down with. I was really excited because they are perfect for each other. So I asked her what she was going to do and she said, "I can't date him 'cause he's BALD"! I was like, "WHAT THE F-CK"!!! I was insulted and really upset with her.

If that wasn't bad enough, she tells me she met a guy on an online dating service and they are going on a date. She goes on to tell me that he is a "marine tech" (boat mechanic) and has sleeve tatoos covering his arms and he won't go to a restaurant or club with a dress code because, "he doesn't do dress codes". I haven't seen him, but I'll bet he has all his hair.

THAT IS REALITY, not always, but enough to justify what a lot of you have said.

Here is a pic of Jessica (she is the tallest one in purple dress) and another pic of Carson so you can see for yourserlf. Seriously, Carson does the bald look well and he's a f-ing DOCTOR!!! I'm only gonna leav the pics up for a day or so out of respect for Carson, but it really helps to make the point.

This particular post reinforces my personal perspective.

OK. I've still got nice hair and I'm not a bad-looking dude. BUT...

-I'm an ethnic minority man in the mainstream USA. That had been a barrier in my dating. "White men" are considered the normal dating pool in the USA (apart from African Americans and Latino Americans)...as my cultural/social patterns were centered around white people. And there are even the classic Asian and Asian-American women who only date white guys!

-I'm only 5'9"...indeed, there are quite a few women out there who only date men 6'0" and taller. I saw that.

Still, I don't feel bad about all that. Even now, there are a good amount of chicks of different races that still find me "cute" or "good-looking" even if I'm of Asian-descent or 5'9". (I'm married so I can't really play that card anymore.)

And that Carson fellow? Saw his pic there. He's bald...but he's a better looking guy than me...and a lot more successful. I don't quite feel sorry for him. And I'm sure he doesn't feel sorry for himself either.

Jessica? Lots of Jessicas in this world. Go on to Michelle or Cynthia or Veronica or Jen or Alicia or...

 

[FSHGLD]

I'd read a few of those responses before somewhere. None are as bad as a girl's letter to an agony aunt column I read once.

The girl was about 25 or 26, her boyfriend the same. She wrote in to say that her boyfriend is losing his hair and it's obviously driving him crazy, depressed, making him act different etc. She was looking for a way to comfort him about it or talk to him about it or something. She said it didn't bother her that much and she still found him attractive. She also added (somewhat gratuitously) that she's a very attractive woman.

The agony aunt replied saying that she should maybe ask herself if she's ready to settle with a bald man, and that because she's attractive she could do better. She also suggested that if she really wanted to settle for the balding guy, she could buy him a hair transplant for f*****g Valentine's day!! How crass is that? Just imagine getting a voucher for a hair transplant surgeon on Feb 14th.......

 

[theShade]

That Carson guy looks more awesome bald probably that he would with hair - I really think someone like him has got nothing to worry about in terms of his looks, he's got a good thing going.

And as people have mentioned - everyones different and has their own preferences. So what if a few women are put off by bald men? Main thing is that you look good - if you look good bald than it's absolutely no problem; it's only a problem if you look sh*t or like an old man.

I can guarantee you, that without knowing, most of you guys probably have a few physical or personality characteristics that put some small minority of women off you too.

 

[Hoppi]

I'd read a few of those responses before somewhere. None are as bad as a girl's letter to an agony aunt column I read once.

The girl was about 25 or 26, her boyfriend the same. She wrote in to say that her boyfriend is losing his hair and it's obviously driving him crazy, depressed, making him act different etc. She was looking for a way to comfort him about it or talk to him about it or something. She said it didn't bother her that much and she still found him attractive. She also added (somewhat gratuitously) that she's a very attractive woman.

The agony aunt replied saying that she should maybe ask herself if she's ready to settle with a bald man, and that because she's attractive she could do better. She also suggested that if she really wanted to settle for the balding guy, she could buy him a hair transplant for f****ing Valentine's day!! How crass is that? Just imagine getting a voucher for a hair transplant surgeon on Feb 14th.......

ha, that's terrible. It shocks me that anyone can think like that.

 

[Nene]

Hoppi, you will stop at nothing to save your hair? Is that why you took finasteride for all of 2 days and then quit? :shakehead:

Boondock, I think you might have developed some BDD. Maybe consider seeing a professional. Is hair loss going to effect our chances of getting women? HELL YES! I'm not gonna sit here and say bulk up, get a tan, blah, blah, blah, we will be uglier and thats a fact. What are you going to do, cry all day everyday about it? :sobbing: ? NO. f*** those b****s. It is what it is, we can't all be Brad Pitt. I want a woman who wants me for me, not for my hair or lack thereof, we aren't all meant to be pimp daddies, focus on something else in life. Enjoy being in China, how many people from the western world get to see China in their lives?

 

[DoctorHouse]

If I were to analyze the situation of Jessica not wanting to date Carlson I would definitely come up with something totally different than most of what has been posted. Carlson, is what most women would be considered a "great catch". He is good looking, in great shape, a doctor, and has a great personality. Jessica just strikes me as someone who could be slightly insecure about herself and may feel Carlson is actually a guy that can get any women. So she has to worry about if he may dump her and go after some more attractive and smarter girl than Jessica. She is just using his baldness as an excuse to justify why she would not date him. In reality, she would rather hook up with someone else who she feels more confident that they may not stray from her.
Most secure women would jump at a chance to date Carlson regardless of his baldness. But if they are insecure, they will come up with some excuse not to date a Carlson simply using the most obvious reason, he has no hair. I honestly think if Carlson was not bald, Jessica still would have come up with some other reason not to date him. Just my hunch. I could be totally way off but I just think people in generally will come up with some kind of excuse just to justify why they can't date a certain person.
Now one place I think most people will draw the line is when it comes to weight. I think most obese people are not going to attract too many people who tend to keep themselves in great shape.
In my experience, I have never heard too many women turn down a date with a handsome doctor with a great personality regardless of how much hair he has on his head. Most men don't become doctors until their mid to late 20's so by then most women start to be less superficial about hair and more concerned about the potential financial status of the person they want to date. There is always to going to a very few exceptions to the rule but in general most secure women won't turn down a date with a guy who looks like Carlson. To be honest, even with as much hair as I have versus Carlson, I would still think most women would be more interested in him than me simply because his physique is much better than mine even though I am still in great shape.

 

[barcafan]

confirmation bias is a wonderful thing.


Now lets all worship at the altar of self pity, while holding hands

 

[Boondock]

Hoppi, you will stop at nothing to save your hair? Is that why you took finasteride for all of 2 days and then quit? :shakehead:

Boondock, I think you might have developed some BDD. Maybe consider seeing a professional. Is hair loss going to effect our chances of getting women? HELL YES! I'm not gonna sit here and say bulk up, get a tan, blah, blah, blah, we will be uglier and thats a fact. What are you going to do, cry all day everyday about it? :sobbing: ? NO. f*ck those b****s. It is what it is, we can't all be Brad Pitt. I want a woman who wants me for me, not for my hair or lack thereof, we aren't all meant to be pimp daddies, focus on something else in life. Enjoy being in China, how many people from the western world get to see China in their lives?

I wouldn't say I have BDD. BDD is when you look fine but you think you have a problem. I would class those with great hair who genuinely think they're loss is awful as BDD. I would also class those who are models but think they're fat as having BDD.

I simply am losing hair and look a lot worse for it. I never had any of these issues before hair loss. I don't see what a professional will be able to do to help with them.

Obviously I'm taking every day as it comes, and I don't intend to sit around here forever. I've said previously that I will try the wig and if that works, great; and more likely if it doesn't, I'll have to shave and move on. For the time being though, here I am.