Reactivated My Dating Profiles, Trying To Be Enthusiastic Without Being Obsessed

[doubleindemnity]

Your profile text is not important. Instead of spending 10 minutes writing your profile, spend 10 minutes taking photos of yourself. Take as many as you can in the time and then choose the best ones. I noticed no difference in response rates with varying profile text. Now I just have 2 sentences and some emojis there. But, changing my photos made a huge difference. You need photos taken in sufficiently dim lighting to hide your hair loss. Experiment with different kinds of facial expressions and angles to the camera. This won't help you on the date, however, because you can't hide in dim light forever. In the end, hair loss always wins and you lose. I'm now at the point where I can set up 2 or 3 dates per week every week if I wanted to but it always goes nowhere.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

That's the idea. If I was still on the dating scene, I'd put a picture of me playing the guitar on stage.

A picture is worth a thousand words. That's the best and most convincing way to show personality. In filmmaking there's an expression "show don't tell." Power point presentation should emphasize visuals rather than long paragraphs of text. In academia, I can remember my graduate adviser telling me that figures are the most important parts of papers, captions were the second most important part.

Some figures are generic though:

- Diving and snorkeling;
- Visiting Machu Picchu;
- At a sports stadium;

ETA: Curiously, a lot of out-of-shape women seem to have photos of themselves eating desserts or drinking alcohol. Perhaps I just notice those more due to my biases, or perhaps they're actually more common.

ETA #2: If I had washboard abs, I'd consider a topless pic where I'm eating a brownie.

 

[Marky]

What would that look like?

One of my photos is of myself giving a talk at a conference, makes me look somewhat important lol.

speaking of conferences and looking important can anyone guess what this pic is of?
Ok I'll just say it, it's pick-up-artist school 101. I just found it funny, this twink teaching college kids how to pick up.
10 years ago I would have bought into this, but today thanks to reading this blog I know better.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

speaking of conferences and looking important can anyone guess what this pic is of?
Ok I'll just say it, it's pick-up-artist school 101. I just found it funny, this twink teaching college kids how to pick up.
10 years ago I would have bought into this, but today thanks to reading this blog I know better.
View attachment 80900

What's the most annoying aspect of that picture?

His hair?
His belt buckle?
The fact that he has a paying crowd?

 

[Marky]

A picture is worth a thousand words. That's the best and most convincing way to show personality. In filmmaking there's an expression "show don't tell." Power point presentation should emphasize visuals rather than long paragraphs of text. In academia, I can remember my graduate adviser telling me that figures are the most important parts of papers, captions were the second most important part.

Some figures are generic though:

- Diving and snorkeling;
- Visiting Machu Picchu;
- At a sports stadium;

ETA: Curiously, a lot of out-of-shape women seem to have photos of themselves eating desserts or drinking alcohol. Perhaps I just notice those more due to my biases, or perhaps they're actually more common.

ETA #2: If I had washboard abs, I'd consider a topless pic where I'm eating a brownie.

You actually uncovered an important truth here, knowingly or not. One of my observations about woman is they probe on how much you workout.
The impression I get from this is yes they want someone with a nice physique, but not necessary someone who workouts out 7 days to achieve it.
A test to see how natural your genetics are? I think in their mind it's better that someone have a nice body but don't have to work on it too much?? I dunno...

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

You actually uncovered an important truth here, knowingly or not. One of my observations about woman is they probe on how much you workout.
The impression I get from this is yes they want someone with a nice physique, but not necessary someone who workouts out 7 days to achieve it.
A test to see how natural your genetics are? I think in their mind it's better that someone have a nice body but don't have to work on it too much?? I dunno...

Knowingly.

That, and other factors. If two men have a comparably, then there are lots of reasons why the one who gets his body with less effort is the better catch. He either has better physiological genetics, or more efficient decision-making, or both, so it's a win either way. Further, the one who achieves his body with less effort is more likely to maintain his body.

There's also the case that you can't have a relationship if you go to the gym seven days a week.

Then there's the fact that the ultra-meatheads are annoying. Try and imagine the raw drama of living someone who counts his calories and weighs all of his food and wants chicken breast twice a day. He tells you how many calories there are in every meal. He shows up to potlucks ignoring the food that other people made and instead eats from his tupperware container of tuna and rice cakes. When it's your birthday, he bakes you a cake using chocolate whey protein powder, low-fat cream cheese, and stevia, and he calls it a cheat meal. Holy f*** that sounds awful.

I heard of one meathead guy in Australia, he and his girlfriend had a rule. Every time she bought a slice of cake, he would first get a chance to smell it, and then he would get a very small lick. One time she forgot about this and broke the rule -- so he exploded at her. I think that he went to get help after that.

******

So all that, but mostly I think that the photo would be funny.

 

[shookwun]

texting, openers... this is all to much. Here's the reality, when my buddy comes over and I see his phone.

6'3, handsome face, full head of hair, blue eyes

Chicks text flooding 1-4 texts before he even replies one,. to the point where I cant believe how thirsty these chicks are.


WHAT DO I TEXT? LOL. it doesn't matter, just be direct, witty and fun.

Seriously, get real. If you feel like you are pulling teeth, and need to seek some form of mechanical strategy to texting, then she is not even into you. When a girl likes you, she will text you first, and typically put effort in her replies to a degree.


Heres how to game chicks online ;HAVE AMAZING PHOTOS. get them professionally done, that showcase you at your best.


Want to know the best text opener 'hey, nice to meet you' (smile) f*****g LOL at thinking any of this balognie matters.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

texting, openers... this is all to much. Here's the reality, when my buddy comes over and I see his phone.

6'3, handsome face, full head of hair, blue eyes

Chicks text flooding 1-4 texts before he even replies one,. to the point where I cant believe how thirsty these chicks are.


WHAT DO I TEXT? LOL. it doesn't matter, just be direct, witty and fun.

Seriously, get real. If you feel like you are pulling teeth, and need to seek some form of mechanical strategy to texting, then she is not even into you. When a girl likes you, she will text you first, and typically put effort in her replies to a degree.


Heres how to game chicks online ;HAVE AMAZING PHOTOS. get them professionally done, that show you are your best.


Want to know the best text opener 'hey, nice to meet you' (smile) f*****g LOL at thinking any of this balognie matters.

I know, but I'm not overthinking openers.

"Hey Jane, how are you?"

If she responds, then I make a modest effort to engage, and try and arrange to meet within 10-20 messages.

 

[shookwun]

I know, but I'm not overthinking openers.

"Hey Jane, how are you?"

If she responds, then I make a modest effort to engage, and try and arrange to meet within 10-20 messages.

Say this.

hey I like what I see, hope your days going well!

thats it. Sincere and sexually direct.


10-20 messages LOL?

Dude you should not be sending more then 5-10. grab the number then make an effort to call her. Beta males dont call, a real G will call and put a voice to a picture. let her know you aint some awkward beta male that I keep hearing women talk about over there 'tinder experiences'

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Say this.

hey I like what I see, hope your days going well!

thats it. Sincere and sexually direct.


10-20 messages LOL?

Dude you should not be sending more then 5-10. grab the number then make an effort to call her. Beta males dont call, a real G will call and put a voice to a picture. let her know you aint some awkward beta male that I keep hearing women talk about over there 'tinder experiences'

Ummm, dude, if I'm sending 5-10 messages then that means that there are 10-20 messages total.

 

[doubleindemnity]

That's the idea. If I was still on the dating scene, I'd put a picture of me playing the guitar on stage.



Ah bad idea, my rule was, no tricks, no enhancements, your pictures should be a reflection of how you look like in person. If you try to deceive the women online, you'll be in for a string of awkward dates during which the girl will wonder if you even were the guy on your profile pictures.

The only way that I could get dates consistently was by using deceptive photos. When I used 100% honest photos, I would get approximately 1 response per 50 messages sent. I once went 3 weeks without a single response, though I sent at least 3 messages per day. 1 match every 3 weeks and this person would typically not respond to my messages. It all changed when I discovered my photography tricks. Now I can not even fit the dates into my schedule.

But you're completely right and that's what I'm observing. You can't beat the system. If you don't have hair, you'll be found out eventually. If you're sporting a NW6 horseshoe at the back and you haven't shown it in your photos (even though you wouldn't...), you'll be punished for it. Hair loss wins in the end, no matter how cunning a photographer you are, you are how ingenious/funny your messages are (doesn't even matter..) or how well-written and impressive your profile is.

 

[shookwun]

I'm guessing those dates didn't lead anywhere.

That's what I wanted to avoid.

The girls would often say they were pleasantly surprised that I looked like on my pictures.

My directness also allowed me to avoid women who were playing games.

This was not my experience as a bald man, I could still date and have sex. However, they'd quickly loser their temper over minor mistakes I made. Their resentment would build up way too quickly and before I knew it, I was treated like a piece of sh*t, being told things like "you don't get me, you don't understand, you don't make enough efforts!"

Sure I was very inexperienced at the time, but I'm still convinced that I wouldn't have been treated this way if I was sporting a normal full head of hair instead of a NW5.

After my first hair transplant, that kind of abuse magically stopped, despite the fact that I was still making plenty of stupid mistakes. And it was no wonder, going from a slick grandpa NW5 with an infinite forehead to a NW2.5 buzz cut completely changes the image your project in the world.

Women will indeed be much less forgiving to a young bald man.

of course they wouldn't care if you slipped being a handsome full head.

Again this same guy I mentioned earlier happened to take a snap with a chick at a club, while making out. Posted it online.

Another chick he was seeing before seen it, then told him that she doesn't think this will work.

fast forward a month or so later, and my buddy told me that same girl that said 'i dont think this going to work' messaged him about how he's doing yada yada yada. Meaning she wanted to see him again.


LOL. This is only one example of many.


Seriously if you are balding, these women quickly forget about you. yet my buddy keeps getting these random chicks he was with that seen him on 'snap chat' being cute message him randomly months later to hang out.

 

[CopeForLife]

That's the idea. If I was still on the dating scene, I'd put a picture of me playing the guitar on stage.

of course they wouldn't care if you slipped being a handsome full head.

Again this same guy I mentioned earlier happened to take a snap with a chick at a club, while making out. Posted it online.

Another chick he was seeing before seen it, then told him that she doesn't think this will work.

fast forward a month or so later, and my buddy told me that same girl that said 'i dont think this going to work' messaged him about how he's doing yada yada yada. Meaning she wanted to see him again.


LOL. This is only one example of many.


Seriously if you are balding, these women quickly forget about you. yet my buddy keeps getting these random chicks he was with that seen him on 'snap chat' being cute message him randomly months later to hang out.

Lol I told same stories about my hyper-Chad friend a year ago and NO ONE believed me including you.

 

[doubleindemnity]

I'm guessing those dates didn't lead anywhere.

That's what I wanted to avoid.

The girls would often say they were pleasantly surprised that I looked like on my pictures.

My directness also allowed me to avoid women who were playing games.

This was not my experience as a bald man, I could still date and have sex. However, they'd quickly loser their temper over minor mistakes I made. Their resentment would build up way too quickly and before I knew it, I was treated like a piece of sh*t, being told things like "you don't get me, you don't understand, you don't make enough efforts!"

Sure I was very inexperienced at the time, but I'm still convinced that I wouldn't have been treated this way if I was sporting a normal full head of hair instead of a NW5.

After my first hair transplant, that kind of abuse magically stopped, despite the fact that I was still making plenty of stupid mistakes. And it was no wonder, going from a slick grandpa NW5 with an infinite forehead to a NW2.5 buzz cut completely changes the image your project in the world.

Women will indeed be much less forgiving to a young bald man.

Those dates didn't lead anywhere, no. I've had bad dates with fat, thin, short, tall, successful, less successful, well-educated, less educated women alike. All the time I'm doing everything that game has told me that I should do (many different types of game and I've tried many different styles, including sincere and honest), but the dates don't lead anywhere. But there's really nothing else that I can do except for wearing hair, as shook suggested. The very idea that you can work your way up to a relationship with a suitable person through self-improvement is disgusting. You either have the hair or you do not.

 

[shookwun]

Those dates didn't lead anywhere, no. I've had bad dates with fat, thin, short, tall, successful, less successful, well-educated, less educated women alike. All the time I'm doing everything that game has told me that I should do (many different types of game and I've tried many different styles, including sincere and honest), but the dates don't lead anywhere. But there's really nothing else that I can do except for wearing hair, as shook suggested. The very idea that you can work your way up to a relationship with a suitable person through self-improvement is disgusting. You either have the hair or you do not.

Honestly man, it's all looks.


all the girls I didn't feel compatible with, and rejected were all related to there LOOOOOOOKS.


personality matters 100%, After we both find each other hot. it's never the inreverse

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Those dates didn't lead anywhere, no. I've had bad dates with fat, thin, short, tall, successful, less successful, well-educated, less educated women alike. All the time I'm doing everything that game has told me that I should do (many different types of game and I've tried many different styles, including sincere and honest), but the dates don't lead anywhere. But there's really nothing else that I can do except for wearing hair, as shook suggested. The very idea that you can work your way up to a relationship with a suitable person through self-improvement is disgusting. You either have the hair or you do not.

One of the reasons that game doesn't make any sense, is that regardless of the importance of personality, you cannot competently fake a personality.

If you try and be somebody else, you'll just be awkward, and women will sense that either consciously or subconsciously. You might actually be worse off if it's only subconscious.

Thus, if you believe that personality matters, you'll need a genuine change. That's something that can only be achieved with hard work, it cannot come from listening to RSD Tyler's youtube videos for thirty minutes.

 

[doubleindemnity]

One of the reasons that game doesn't make any sense, is that regardless of the importance of personality, you cannot competently fake a personality.

If you try and be somebody else, you'll just be awkward, and women will sense that either consciously or subconsciously. You might actually be worse off if it's only subconscious.

Thus, if you believe that personality matters, you'll need a genuine change. That's something that can only be achieved with hard work, it cannot come from listening to RSD Tyler's youtube videos for thirty minutes.

The reason that game doesn't work is because it's all about the way you look, which is mostly about your hair. If the person likes your hair, you can say/do all kinds of things and get ahead in the relationship. Complete opposite if your hair isn't good enough. Personality does not and never has mattered. The reason is obvious if you think about it. A man whose looks measure up can exclusively talk about the woman during his date, while saying minimal things about himself. This will end up being a pretty good date and he doesn't need any personality to pull it off.

I've done the genuine change things that you are discussing. A strong sense of self worth and confidence. The only difference is that when I have 5 bad dates in a month now, it doesn't bother me. The actual results have not changed at all. Confidence is about what you think of yourself. It does not change what others think of you. What they think is "he is an unattractive man and I will not date him". That's a reaction to your hair and nothing else.

 

[davesmith420]

Good luck. Out of curiosity with the other brahs, how long are your opening convos until you decide to ask for a number or date? I feel there's a sort of sweet spot, waiting too long to move next level increase the probability of a Chad beating you to the punch. Of course it doesn't matter if you're male model tier.

Try to get the number ASAP. I usually like to drop the classic line "This app is annoying, what is your number?"

 

[JohnsonDDG]

Thus, if you believe that personality matters, you'll need a genuine change. That's something that can only be achieved with hard work, it cannot come from listening to RSD Tyler's youtube videos for thirty minutes.

Personality does play a factor, but more in the sense of it can be a turn off once physical attraction is there.

I'm sure we've all fancied someone and then gone off them when we find out they are a drunk, moron, dull, high maintenance, std ridden, racist and so on.

I once slept with an ugly woman who was extremely intelligent and I was fascinated with her - it went wrong in the end though because I didn't fancy her so I started to avoid sex with her and that doomed any relationship with her.

 

[Jack Ito]

I know, but I'm not overthinking openers.

"Hey Jane, how are you?"

If she responds, then I make a modest effort to engage, and try and arrange to meet within 10-20 messages.

This opener always seems to work for me when picking up girls..

Roses are red,
violets are blue,
I’ve got a gun,
Get in the van.