SAF, is it possible to look 20 at age 30?

[CCS]

Whether you have a happy relationship depends on what you want.
If you want a super sexy relationship with the lights on, you won't get it if you don't look good.

If you just want someone for occational sex with the lights out, who is a friend most the other time, then you can get that even if you are below average looking. Fact is, most sexy relationships turn into that after both partners lose their looks.

Not all women like to live the risky life style of trickery. I'm a man and I don't like the mystery method since it is just trickery too. Mystery Method is about making women think you have resources of some type, make them think you are not on their hook, and make them think you are hookable. Then you gradually up the price, making them more an more invested, until they have sex once, thinking that will get you on the hook. When that fails, or they find out you don't have resources, it is game up. Many one nighters. I don't want to do that. The best I can do is get attractive enough that a woman at my level will find me attractive enough beyond my resources. Many women at my level will seak one nighters with better looking guys though. They start caring more about relationships when they want kids. And they always want relationships with guys better looking than them.


The problem is men will sleep with women who look less attractive than them, but women won't sleep with men who look less attractive than them. So unless you both are above average, it seems pretty difficult to find someone who will settle in for a relationship instead of get the better one nighters. Often men have to pay to make up the difference, which I find very offensive because it means she is not attracted to me. But often a better looking guy won't go down on a woman who is less attractive than him. So that is one of your advantages. The other is you are available.

 

[CCS]

Some things never change...

CCS, go out and have some fun!!!!!!!!

I might hit the bars tomorrow night... I don't have money nor time, but I need to relax... CCS, you should try it as well...

I was out last weekend, and I didn't drink. So, it's possible to have fun without breaking the bank, or having a hangover. I hate hangovers, I don't know about looking 20, but the morning after I feel like 70 uke: ...

Easier to have fun if you look good enough to get a girl.

Here is money saving idea: don't go to the bars. Go on a hike with a hiking group instead. You can have better conversation on a hike since there is no loud music to drown out what the other person is saying. And if you don't drink, you are more likely to meet someone with something in common with you.

Don't worry. I have fun. Watching movies for now. I'll add to that list. And when I look better, I'll add more to the list.

 

[ali777]

Easier to have fun if you look good enough to get a girl.

Here is money saving idea: don't go to the bars. Go on a hike with a hiking group instead.

I would do activities like hiking if I had time. Going to a bar for couple hours is not expensive at all. Most of the places near me are free or cheap to get in. TBH, on a normal night out, I spend $20-30, if I don't drink alcohol it's less than $5. $30 is not such a big issue, it's the hangovers that I don't like. Even if I drink moderately, it still affects me and I don't feel fresh the day after.

If you come across as a fun loving person, the girls will fall for you. You don't need to be hot to have fun... It's easier to have fun, when you let go of things and relax...

 

[s.a.f]

you should aim for long-term serius realasionships with girls your age!!(24+ i guess is the lowest id go at 30, hell ,im 25 and dating a 32 atm, i dont think i want to go anywere near 24 year old girls but thats another thread for itself..) *majority* of women your age DO NOT care for looks anymore, not as nearly as you do CCS, get that in your skull, you have an immature prespective for your age, if you dont want to form a family some day (and you dont have much time left for that either!) you really should keep on walking that track, because this is where its heading.

Man, come on!!!!! he's 29 and he isn't exactly short of time.

If your logic is anything to go with, your gf is desperate to marry you. Most of the girls I know in their 30s are hormonal and desperate for kids. In my opinion the male biological clock is slower than the female one. We can wait till late, but women can't.

In a way he is short of time because you've got to remember that he's nearly 30 and from what I gather has never had a real adult relationship. Other single 30 yr olds have the experience to realise what they want in a relationship and are more likely to suss out if its going to work longterm.
CCS is a 30 yr old going into things with the views of a 16 yr old - just wants to play the feild and have fun. How many years does he plan on living this way for?

I'm kind of in the same boat myself, just nowhere near as far gone as he is.

 

[s.a.f]

I know women who've dated multiple guys and told me about each. Since they were no longer trying to use me, they did not see any reason to hide anything. We are in different states now.

When she is going for the hot guy she is attracted to, she has sex with him twice a day, and tried to help him get a job so the two of them would not need his dad's money and they could have a family.

When she was dating guys she is not attracted to, she monitored their carrear progress, and tried having sex with them as little as possible to keep them on the hook. If they tried to hard to get sex, or tried any power struggles, she punished them by breaking up, letting them cry for a few months, and then taking him back to see if he had changed. When any of these guys (me for example) did not graduate or get an engineering job, it was game up. As for the attractive guy, he only had to get a full time $10 per hour job to satisfy her. He even dated another woman after dumping her, and 5 months later after the other woman dumped him, he came back to the first and she is head over heals for him again.

Women will not tell average looking guys that they prefer better looking guys. They want to keep the average guy's hopes up by making him think he can win her, so he falls in love and is more easily controlled. Women think with their heart if you look good, and think with their brain if you have money.

Is this really how it is in the U.S?
I guess all you other american posters must be being taken for a ride? :shakehead:

 

[patagonia]

don't go to the bars. Go on a hike with a hiking group instead. You can have better conversation on a hike since there is no loud music to drown out what the other person is saying. And if you don't drink, you are more likely to meet someone with something in common with you.

Don't worry. I have fun. Watching movies for now. I'll add to that list. And when I look better, I'll add more to the list.

I agree. The bar scene is not for everyone. LIfestyle type of activities like hiking and the outdoors in general are great ways to meet like minded people... not just girls, but to make friends who are into the same things you are.

the bar scene is clearly something you are not into...
I just cant picture you in a club with the typical sororety type of chick having any type of conversation you would really be into...??

dude...you are into science, academia, sports , the outdoors, cinema..... thats a wide range of interests....all of them great.... filled with interesting people who youll enjoy hanging out with.... (chicks included)....

 

[SE-freak]

is it possible to look 20 at age 30?

I believe it is, in fact I believe I look like a 20something yo. (That sounds annoyingly vain but I tried to be a brutal realist here.) :gay:

 

[patagonia]

- just wants to play the feild and have fun. How many years does he plan on living this way for?

I'm kind of in the same boat myself, just nowhere near as far gone as he is.

s.a.f., nothing wrong if you are not in the "committed guy" stage... whats the rush... I feel its different for everyone... you might have gone through other things at a younger age or due to whatever circumstances didn' t do what you wanted then... but there is always time... if one is responsible and has their sh*t together, its cool.

 

[s.a.f]

is it possible to look 20 at age 30?

I believe it is, in fact I believe I look like a 20something yo. (That sounds annoyingly vain but I tried to be a brutal realist here.) :gay:

So you're 30 and you look 20?
And did you get this way through Surgery, treatments and diet like CCS is planning to do or just your natural genetics?

Ps its not that I doubt you or anything :whistle: but do you think that a bunch of 20 yr old students would agree with you on that. When I was 19 we had a guy in our class who was 24 and to us he seemed like middle aged.

 

[IBM]

I believed myself i looked younger then i am because some people told me i was like a kid. But i saw the last pictures i took on my vacations. I look like a 30's bloke. So i should act as someone on that age. How? Dont know...

 

[ali777]

In a way he is short of time because you've got to remember that he's nearly 30 and from what I gather has never had a real adult relationship.

Other single 30 yr olds have the experience to realise what they want in a relationship and are more likely to suss out if its going to work longterm.

You are right... He's about 10 years too late with that experience.

CCS is a 30 yr old going into things with the views of a 16 yr old - just wants to play the feild and have fun. How many years does he plan on living this way for?

Well... I get the impression he needs someone in his life, but he thinks he needs to play the dating game. I understand that he needs to date to get to know women, but he's got his guard up. He views women as b*tches and not as potential partners. It's a vicious circle, he needs to let people into his life.

I'm kind of in the same boat myself, just nowhere near as far gone as he is.

Aren't we all??? Every single time I meet someone that may turn out to be a special person, I get scared of failure and I shy away from her. Then I go out and chat up random women with the intention of getting laid... What does that tell you about me??? I have enough confidence to talk to random women, but I don't have confidence to ask someone I like out? Maybe I'm scared of rejection or failure.

 

[Petchsky]

Maybe I'm scared of rejection or failure.

Or success, that's scarier in some people's book.

 

[ali777]

Maybe I'm scared of rejection or failure.

Or success, that's scarier in some people's book.

Nah.. I'm past that stage... Commitment doesn't scare me anymore..

How is the recovery going?

 

[SE-freak]

[quote="SE-freak":36lmjufd]

is it possible to look 20 at age 30?

I believe it is, in fact I believe I look like a 20something yo. (That sounds annoyingly vain but I tried to be a brutal realist here.) :gay:

So you're 30 and you look 20?
And did you get this way through Surgery, treatments and diet like CCS is planning to do or just your natural genetics?[/quote:36lmjufd]

I personally wouldnt give a sh*t if I looked 30. It is of no importance to me, really. No surgery, just treatments(hair loss) diet and exercise... maybe. Anyway, not willing to argue on that- as it seems like I am striving for it, or like I weigh it above things like passion for art, refining of senses, science, experience and exploration.

 

[Petchsky]

Maybe I'm scared of rejection or failure.

Or success, that's scarier in some people's book.

Nah.. I'm past that stage... Commitment doesn't scare me anymore..

How is the recovery going?

Cool, recovery is going well. I'm mainlining msm to try to get my hair to grow and cover the donor scar...then I can abandon the hat.

You know you look young if you get ID'd for smokes or alcohol.

 

[CCS]

I would go to bars, but most bars I've been to are like 80% men and 20% women. A lot of fat people there too, and many age groups. There is usually only 1 or 2 decent looking women there, who are surounded by men. Just does not seem like any point in going. If I could go to an all frat/sorority bar I might go. I'd have to dress up though.

$30 is a lot of money for 1 night. That is $120 per week if you only get to have fun once a week. I like something I can afford to do every day. I know a girl who drinks heavy every night, she says. Usually the guys pay for it, but this time she says she paid $35 for the night. Her body looks fantastic, and she smokes. What a waste.

 

[Quantum Cat]

go to a gay bar - lots of straight women there.

 

[s.a.f]

I know a girl who drinks heavy every night, she says. Usually the guys pay for it, but this time she says she paid $35 for the night. Her body looks fantastic, and she smokes. What a waste.

Yeah, what a waste going out every night having fun whilst she's young and attractive. :doh:
She should be at home obbsessively dieting, doing cardio and saving up for plastic surgery then she can go out in her 30's.
:roll:

You know your young looking if you get I.D'd for smokes and alcohol

Dont be so sure some major chain stores and bars make it a company policy to ask everyone, even pensioners are getting I.D'd these days.

Also I think its human nature for people to see what they want to see as far as age is concerned. There's certainly alot of older guys in their 40's who still think they're hip enough to try and dress like teens not realising how ridiculous they look.

 

[ali777]

There's certainly alot of older guys in their 40's who still think they're hip enough to try and dress like teens not realising how ridiculous they look.

hehe.... I've been thinking about this recently. What's the definition of hip and what is the acceptable look for someone at 30?

I'm still jeans and tshirt type of guy, and I love my trainers. I walk a lot, so it's important for me that I feel comfortable and I don't get that level of comfort in anything else. Then there is the added benefit of jeans and tshirt being universal, I can talk to a 20yo and 40yo without feeling out of place.

 

[CCS]

There's certainly alot of older guys in their 40's who still think they're hip enough to try and dress like teens not realising how ridiculous they look.

hehe.... I've been thinking about this recently. What's the definition of hip and what is the acceptable look for someone at 30?

I'm still jeans and tshirt type of guy, and I love my trainers. I walk a lot, so it's important for me that I feel comfortable and I don't get that level of comfort in anything else. Then there is the added benefit of jeans and tshirt being universal, I can talk to a 20yo and 40yo without feeling out of place.

I got that question too: how is a 30 year old supposed to dress? Kakkis and a buttom up? I like my blue genes t-shirt. Too 20ish?