Shut Up, Shut Up, For God's Sake, Just Shut Up!

[hairblues]

Be right back.

yeah I was confused on that one.

 

[hairblues]

@OP i know my friend sent me a link to a 'natural' hair cure from Pinterest...I almost lashed out BUT i know with her its just ignorance and she 'thinks' she's being helpful.
it's not helpful

 

[shookwun]

my father once told me to hang up side down to increase blood to the scalp.


In theory it's make sense, but retarded at the same time.


He wasn't right, but he wasn't wrong either

 

[shookwun]

We are not talking about treatment here, but it can help (a little little little). Then, it' s good in general for you body, it's used in yoga.

I rub my scalp for about 5-10 minutes every day when I take a shower for blood flow.

Some times my scalp is sore when i wake up. tends to be in the thinning areas also, how ironic. The rubbing, and water flow helps shuttle blood and nutrients to my scalp.


I believe scalp massages help with the elasticity in the scalp, and create a more optimum environment for growth. The sheath of a balding mans skin gets thinner and thinner as time goes by. Yet people with good hair tend to have strong skin holding the hair in place.

 

[hairblues]

It literaly killed relationsips with my family! Talk about the impact of hair loss on your life!

Sorry to hear this.
that is terrible.

 

[shookwun]

Still NW1 though

 

[hairblues]

Yes... but you know... I could forgive them. I tried...but every six months my mother kept saying I was imaginating things and it was hurting her! For the record, I see my parents maybe twice a year, so I have difficulties imagining I could have had some impact on her life. Still,I am suffering too much from that curse to oblige myself talking to them or seing them. I don't know what is their problem... why such denial and indifference.
It was really terrible. But at the same time, I am like very strong now! (yes, even if I am on this forum).

Did your parents have hair loss at your age?

 

[EvilLocks]

What a complete f*****g idiot! (the doctor).

That's the same doctor who told me he'd give up his practice if I went bald…

 

[EvilLocks]

At least she tried to help. I would have been somehow touched if my family did that for me, instead of still being in denial after I have lost half of my hair! Their answer to me was that I was a hypochondriac and should go to see a shrink! Bastards.

My family did the same thing! It took them 2 years to even believe me, even when I had lost a ton of hair. My mom told me this: "Your hair is just getting thinner, it's natural, it happens with age!" I was 22-23 at the time (now 24). My parents believed I was mentally ill and in psychosis, and that I should be in a mental hospital. At a point I actually was, which was a huge fail. I have this huge resentment for my parents because of what they put me through when they didn't believe me, but I love them so much so I'm trying to put it behind me… They are supportive now at least.

 

[blackg]

Still NW1 though

This guy is quite handsome.

 

[Roberto_72]

That's the same doctor who told me he'd give up his practice if I went bald…

Maybe s/he thought you were good looking.
Apparently one downside of the good looking is that doctors tend to underestimate their health issues.
I know it is a bit ridiculous if compared to the downsides of the bad looking but there's that

 

[blackg]

Indeed he is, if he and I were in the same room alone, he would look like a model compared to me.

Yep, fair enough. Mate, on another note.... um... your new avatar looks a little on the flamboyant side.

 

[Dante92]

Yep, fair enough. Mate, on another note.... um... your new avatar looks a little on the flamboyant side.

You just love euphemisms, don't you?

 

[blackg]

You just love euphemisms, don't you?

Yeah, I'm just messin' around, mate. It looks fine.

 

[F2005]

It's really frustrating when those that you love cannot understand what you're going through. I always say that if a person does not experience real hair loss for themselves, they will never truly understand how devastating it can be. I've become estranged from plenty of people due to hair loss, simply because when I believe that my outer looks are being destroyed right before my very eyes, it's hard to be Mr. Congeniality and be the outgoing person that you once were before hair loss. And some friends just do not want to be around any kind of negativity either, which I find to be a very juvenile way of thinking. I know one girl who preaches about only being around positive people yet I'd be willing to bet that if she was losing her own hair, she'd be going batsh*t crazy, and would hardly exhibit the positivity that she espouses.

 

[Roberto_72]

It's really frustrating when those that you love cannot understand what you're going through. I always say that if a person does not experience real hair loss for themselves, they will never truly understand how devastating it can be. I've become estranged from plenty of people due to hair loss, simply because when I believe that my outer looks are being destroyed right before my very eyes, it's hard to be Mr. Congeniality and be the outgoing person that you once were before hair loss. And some friends just do not want to be around any kind of negativity either, which I find to be a very juvenile way of thinking. I know one girl who preaches about only being around positive people yet I'd be willing to bet that if she was losing her own hair, she'd be going batsh*t crazy, and would hardly exhibit the positivity that she espouses.

I think it's more complicated than that.
The reason why some relatives won't understand you is - IMHO - that the people who want to be happy need to have a feeling that those close to them are happy too, otherwise they can't be happy. It's a selfish feeling. They DO know what you're going through but... How can one be happy if one thinks that a relative is suffering?

This is why people who have no aesthetic preoccupation tend to downplay a balding person's plight.
They're not actually saying "it's just hair." In my opinion they're saying "Why are you busting my balls with this unhappiness of yours, pretend it's just hair and that it's fine so I can continue being happy about my OWN looks".

 

[EvilLocks]

We must have been related to each other in another life, because it's exactly what happened to me...

No kidding! Lol, I love that you told your parents to go f-ck themselves. Wish I could have done that at times, but my personality is more the quiet type who just takes the abuse. I have a lot of rage on the inside, though. Still, I have given my parents a piece of my mind before, and told them how them not believing me is actually making the problem worse for me. I need support through this nightmare, not being told I'm crazy! And I can relate so much to how your parents reacted, trying to make the problem about them instead of you. I cannot count how many times my parents have told me I'm responsible for making them depressed, because I have been struggling with this hair thing... My mother told me "Your dad is crying every night in bed because of you!", like that was supposed to help me. I love my parents though, they have been there for me my whole life (except this hair thing), and up until recently I've been very dependant on them, since I lived at home until the age of 23, without a job or education. Now that I have my own place and a job I'm much more independant, finally. Also, I hate going to the club as well... I used to go clubbing a lot when I was like 18-20, but now I prefer staying at home doing my art, listening to music and cuddling with my dog.

 

[EvilLocks]

I remember when I was basically crying every day because of hair loss, and my mother called my aunts for an intervention... They came to my house and told me too "You're not losing your hair, but if you are so what? Get a wig and keep on living! Nobody sinks into a depression that deep because of HAIR!"
Right...

 

[EvilLocks]

They seem so sure of themselves: "nobody!"

People tend to hide their grief, especially men, no one is going to cry in public and say that they're depressed because of their hair loss.

But these people don't seem smart enough to realize that.

They've never seen someone being depressed because of their hair loss so it must not exist!

These are the same aunts who get self conscious if their hair looks a bit flat, or if they've missed a grey after dying their perfect hair. Please. If they went through the same thing as me at age 20, they would have been just as depressed, if not more.

 

[EvilLocks]

Mine too. And always come up with a random bald guy that they know: "Look at Charlie, he lost his hair and he's not complaining! He just shaved his head!"

OMG! My mother told me basically the same thing: "Your grandmother's sister lost her hair to alopecia universalis in her 20's, and she's still positive! Why can't you?"