So I Just Saw This Video Today (how Long Should Title Be???)

[JohnsonDDG]

Not at all, I may be 30 and never been kissed (or hugged, touched, etc) but I'm just holding out for the one to come along, so when a beautiful and socially acceptable woman eventually asks me out then I'm sorted for life.

May i ask the reason for you 30 year old virginity?

Is it your looks or are you socially awkward - or both?

 

[Dante92]

May i ask the reason for you 30 year old virginity?

Is it your looks or are you socially awkward - or both?

LOL

 

[Rudiger]

May i ask the reason for you 30 year old virginity?

Is it your looks or are you socially awkward - or both?

Virgin?! Naahh man I'm just too alpha for kissing and intimacy, I just plug it in there wrapped (no contact).

I should say that everything I'm writing in this thread is parody, before someone reads future posts of mine which contradict everything in here.

But I'll also say that I have a friend who's a 26 year old virgin (may as well be 30, it's looking hopeless to be honest) and is somewhat average looking, maybe a little below, and while he may not excel in social situations he is still able to talk to women, doesn't get hugely nervous or ridiculously awkward.

Why hasn't it happened? Well firstly he doesn't have that instinct whatsoever, but other than that nothing jumps out as to how he got this far in life without getting laid, I guess there are guys out there who are incel but it's really not blatantly obvious as to why.

Ahhh actually, he did turn down an average looking skinny geeky girl last year, she just "wasn't really his type" I mean f***. Anything should be your type at this stage, she wasn't even that bad.

I guess that would explain a lot, not a lot going for him, expects a 7+ with dazzling personality, oddly kind of like the parody character I created in this thread. He has a sh*t job too, and only started working for the first time in his life, recently.

OK case closed, never mind I answered my own question...

 

[JohnsonDDG]

Virgin?! Naahh man I'm just too alpha for kissing and intimacy, I just plug it in there wrapped (no contact).

I should say that everything I'm writing in this thread is parody, before someone reads future posts of mine which contradict everything in here.

But I'll also say that I have a friend who's a 26 year old virgin (may as well be 30, it's looking hopeless to be honest) and is somewhat average looking, maybe a little below, and while he may not excel in social situations he is still able to talk to women, doesn't get hugely nervous or ridiculously awkward.

Why hasn't it happened? Well firstly he doesn't have that instinct whatsoever, but other than that nothing jumps out as to how he got this far in life without getting laid, I guess there are guys out there who are incel but it's really not blatantly obvious as to why.

Ahhh actually, he did turn down an average looking skinny geeky girl last year, she just "wasn't really his type" I mean f***. Anything should be your type at this stage, she wasn't even that bad.

I guess that would explain a lot, not a lot going for him, expects a 7+ with dazzling personality, oddly kind of like the parody character I created in this thread. He has a sh*t job too, and only started working for the first time in his life, recently.

OK case closed, never mind I answered my own question...

Great point about instinct.

I had a nice guy friend, roughly 6 out of 10 in looks, with a good education and job who stayed a virgin until he was 24. He also lacked this instinct you talk of. Twice before he lost his virginity he had dates back in his room but he never made the move because he said he didn't know they wanted to.

We literally had to keep telling him that you just have to risk making a move and that there is a small chance of failure but that's the way life is.

He did eventually lose his virginity - I don't know how it happened because he's coy about it but he is still seeing her so there are happy endings.

But still, it would have been better if he could have got laid in his teens like most people/

 

[JohnsonDDG]

My girlfriend's brother is 27, perma-virgin (well, he never brought a girl home) like the guy you're describing.

Recently, he told his family how he would ask the girl to split the bill if he got a date.

My girlfriend replied: "that's why you're single!" How blue-pill of her.

No. It's a combination of being average and having never made a move.

The guys seem fine with his situation though. I don't think he has an account on sluthate.

It breaks my heart though to here about these guys. I think its because I could have gone this way when I was younger.

I was befriended by a couples of 'puas' and while I didn't become a pua I did do things they said - like approach, approach, approach and don't be weak. I know that's really basic sh*t but I just wasn't doing it. I was the overly nice guy who told myself that if someone liked me they would ask me out.

Its hilarious to look back and think about it now, but that is what a really believed.

 

[SmoothSailing]

Great point about instinct.

I had a nice guy friend, roughly 6 out of 10 in looks, with a good education and job who stayed a virgin until he was 24. He also lacked this instinct you talk of. Twice before he lost his virginity he had dates back in his room but he never made the move because he said he didn't know they wanted to.

We literally had to keep telling him that you just have to risk making a move and that there is a small chance of failure but that's the way life is.

He did eventually lose his virginity - I don't know how it happened because he's coy about it but he is still seeing her so there are happy endings.

But still, it would have been better if he could have got laid in his teens like most people/

Every year you stay a virgin it becomes harder and harder to get laid (for a guy). Everyone else becomes more experienced, you become more worried about your lack of experience and how weird it is that you're still a virgin. Most girls will greatly dislike inexperience, an awkward first timer is usually a no-go zone.

So whatever difficulties made it so that you didn't lose your virginity earlier are usually still there, but more difficulties have arisen.

It seems, looking at many below average guys in my work, that by about 26..30 these guys often find themselves an ugly/fat girlfriend.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

Every year you stay a virgin it becomes harder and harder to get laid (for a guy). Everyone else becomes more experienced, you become more worried about your lack of experience and how weird it is that you're still a virgin. Most girls will greatly dislike inexperience, an awkward first timer is usually a no-go zone.

So whatever difficulties made it so that you didn't lose your virginity earlier are usually still there, but more difficulties have arisen.

It seems, looking at many below average guys in my work, that by about 26..30 these guys often find themselves an ugly/fat girlfriend.

Yeah, I was 18 when I lost mine - at the time I thought this was terrible because I knew people who had sex at 14 and 15. But looking back I think losing it in your teens is fine. Its when you go way into your 20s that is becomes sad.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

Unfortunately, I think guys like my girlfriend's brother still believe that.

Girls very rarely ask guys out, because 99.9% of the time, they won't have to. Guys are expected to take all the risk and if they're not stupid and scared to death for no reason, they will.

So there's no reason that a girl will ever put herself in a situation where she could be rejected. Guys ask girls out, it's supposed to be common knowledge, except for hardcore feminists who wish that the world was how they want it to be.

The most a girl will do is to give signs, often very subtle to the point that a flat-out rejection will not be possible.

Smiling, talking to a guy, laughing at his jokes, giving him compliments, touching him lightly and playfully, etc.

After that, as a man, you need to escalate, you need to ask her out for something to happen.

I couldn't agree more.

The best we can do is not complain but accept the way society functions and adapt to it and play the game.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

 

[blackg]

Virgin?! Naahh man I'm just too alpha for kissing and intimacy, I just plug it in there wrapped (no contact).

I should say that everything I'm writing in this thread is parody, before someone reads future posts of mine which contradict everything in here.

But I'll also say that I have a friend who's a 26 year old virgin (may as well be 30, it's looking hopeless to be honest) and is somewhat average looking, maybe a little below, and while he may not excel in social situations he is still able to talk to women, doesn't get hugely nervous or ridiculously awkward.

Why hasn't it happened? Well firstly he doesn't have that instinct whatsoever, but other than that nothing jumps out as to how he got this far in life without getting laid, I guess there are guys out there who are incel but it's really not blatantly obvious as to why.

Ahhh actually, he did turn down an average looking skinny geeky girl last year, she just "wasn't really his type" I mean f***. Anything should be your type at this stage, she wasn't even that bad.

I guess that would explain a lot, not a lot going for him, expects a 7+ with dazzling personality, oddly kind of like the parody character I created in this thread. He has a sh*t job too, and only started working for the first time in his life, recently.

OK case closed, never mind I answered my own question...

You sound very disjointed lately, h.l.

It's jarring because I usually rely on you for stability around here.

 

[SmoothSailing]

The video is very true, for me I prefer standing next to my shorter mates much more than my taller mates. It's all a competition.

After that, as a man, you need to escalate, you need to ask her out for something to happen.

Yes many guys fall into the waiting-for-it-to-happen hole. If you're below average you could likely go forever without even getting a sign that someone is interested in you. Not to mind if your socially anxious you will excuse any signs as nothing and thus even signs will fly past you.

People sometimes I think are not aware how much social anxiety can f*** you. I literally was out on a date with a 7, who had expressed interest in me, I had made no move at all. And I was still thinking she didn't like me, was so nervous I literally said one thing to her at the end of the movie, nothing else. Looking back it's so retarded, like my mates actually suspected I was gay when I didn't do anything with her. And I understand why, now looking back. At the time I was just so socially retarded.

 

[blackg]

I will die socially retarded.

 

[Notcoolanymore]

Ahhh actually, he did turn down an average looking skinny geeky girl last year, she just "wasn't really his type" I mean f***. Anything should be your type at this stage, she wasn't even that bad.

Many around here also set their standards way too high. Sure it is fine to aim high once in a while, but some guys are holding out for the cream of the crop when they have little to no options. Realistically if I broke up with my GF, I would most likely have to date 6's and 7's. I am fine with that. I sure as hell wouldn't be holding out and hoping for 8's or 9's. Hope rarely gets you laid. Settle and live with what you can get.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

Many around here also set their standards way too high. Sure it is fine to aim high once in a while, but some guys are holding out for the cream of the crop when they have little to no options. Realistically if I broke up with my GF, I would most likely have to date 6's and 7's. I am fine with that. I sure as hell wouldn't be holding out and hoping for 8's or 9's. Hope rarely gets you laid. Settle and live with what you can get.

I would never date a 9 - It would make me insecure that they could do better.

I always date similar to my own looks standard

 

[JohnsonDDG]

When I first started actively dating, I went on dates with girl that barely made the cut: below average, a bit too many pimples, horrible dress sense.

Why? Because I was a f*****g virgin and I had 0 experience in dating. Besides one lucky date that lasted like a couple of hours when I was 17.

Some of my friends mocked me at the time. A few years later, when I was walking with a legit 8/10 at university, they weren't laughing anymore.

You need to start somewhere. And as I've said, first-hand experience is invaluable.

At university, I had a few good-looking red pill friends, and even they admitted:

"Yep, when it comes to girls, we've all started at the bottom and worked out way up!"

A lot of men don't understand this. They deserve a 8/10 girl! And they'll get everything right with her the first time without having had any previous experiences!

Recipe for disaster.

Damn, your nailing it today with the advice.

If there are any young men with very little experience reading this then please follow Polar Bears advice

 

[SmoothSailing]

Many around here also set their standards way too high. Sure it is fine to aim high once in a while, but some guys are holding out for the cream of the crop when they have little to no options. Realistically if I broke up with my GF, I would most likely have to date 6's and 7's. I am fine with that. I sure as hell wouldn't be holding out and hoping for 8's or 9's. Hope rarely gets you laid. Settle and live with what you can get.

I often hear this but I never see it. The only rule most of my incel mates have is no fat girls, and that's probably only a rule they follow when they know their friends will know. Who is holding out for 8's and 9's? Because I haven't met these people.

When I was desperate I fucked fat girls, even told my mates about one of them. Just because someone tells you they are not "into her" and that's why they never tried does not mean that's the real reason. Maybe they were to nervous, or thought they didn't have a chance, or something else.

I don't believe that even a small minority of incel guys are holding out for 8's. I think it's bullshit that people use to blame the incelism on the incel as usual.

 

[Notcoolanymore]

When I first started actively dating, I went on dates with girl that barely made the cut: below average, a bit too many pimples, horrible dress sense.

I did the exact same thing. I had zero in common with the first girl I ever went out with. I'm not sure what the hell we even talked about or if we even talked. I got dumped after about a couple of weeks of dating, because she said that I had a big head. I still don't know what the hell she meant by that or how I could have even given her that impression. Either way I was happy with the experience. Why? Because I needed it. Up until that point(18 yo) I had never even gone on a date with a girl. I was a pathetic incel, that got a boner the first time I slow danced with a girl. It was embarrassing. I think I hid it well though.

 

[SmoothSailing]

That's not exactly what's happening. They'll use anything the girl might have going against her.

And trust me, some guys are experts at this, some of them will even manage turn a girl's qualities into flaws.

"Ana said she liked me? Nah, she has big thighs, she reads Nicholas Sparks, and she said that Star Trek was stupid, she's not my type!"

Not exactly holding out of 8/10 but for a girl that doesn't exist, or even if she does, there's a 90% chance that he won't be her type.

I'm sure you've met many of guys who will find "flaws" in all the girls that are into them, often as an excuse to not approach her or out of misplaced narcissism.

No I have to say I've almost never come across this. Guys who find flaws are guys with options, and thus entitled to find flaws. Guys without options here are likely to have a shitty opinion of themselves, and would all mostly jump at the chance for a looks matched girl even if she was a complete b**ch with nothing in common.

People here are definitely far more pessimistic than the optimistic US, so I guess that plays into this.

 

[Notcoolanymore]

Who is holding out for 8's and 9's? Because I haven't met these people.

Maybe an exaggeration with the 8's and 9's, but yes I have met an actual 40 yo virgin, that had a long list of standards a potential gf had to meet. I even tried doing the leg work for him on a couple of occasions only for him to tell me that "she is too chubby", "she is too old", "I don't want to risk getting any diseases", etc. I wish I was making this sh*t up and I get what you are saying that we cant always blame the incel, but sometimes the incel isn't doing himself any favors by being so damn picky.

 

[SmoothSailing]

Maybe an exaggeration with the 8's and 9's, but yes I have met an actual 40 yo virgin, that had a long list of standards a potential gf had to meet. I even tried doing the leg work for him on a couple of occasions only for him to tell me that "she is too chubby", "she is too old", "I don't want to risk getting any diseases", etc. I wish I was making this sh*t up and I get what you are saying that we cant always blame the incel, but sometimes the incel isn't doing himself any favors by being so damn picky.

Yeah I guess I just haven't come across this type. How can a 40 year old virgin be so disillusioned though? I mean I understand this from women who can get sex from hotter guys and thus can have an inflated ego and idea of who they could get. But for a 40 year old virgin? Must have serious mental issues.

Usually a below average male that has an inflated view of themselves will realize fairly quick that they are misguided when they get no matches on tinder or get rejected by fat girls. Or that's what I would have thought.