Staring down strangers...

[qball01]

It just happens, OK? I could never understand how people could refuse to believe that there are those out there that would stare down or make fun of someone for being bald. NEWS FLASH: There are plenty of assholes out there that would not only make fun of baldness but handicapped and mentally retarded folks as well. Just tell yourself that those people are immature pathetic loosers for thinking that way and go about your business.

I don't understand you man...

you acknowledge that those types of people (the people who make fun of baldness and other stuff) are insignificant and not worth your time...but those are the same people who make you feel uncomfortable in public and therefore wear a hat and be ashamed of yourself....so why would you let such stupid, idiotic people have such a big impact on your life?

 

[Krispin]

It just happens, OK? I could never understand how people could refuse to believe that there are those out there that would stare down or make fun of someone for being bald. NEWS FLASH: There are plenty of assholes out there that would not only make fun of baldness but handicapped and mentally retarded folks as well. Just tell yourself that those people are immature pathetic loosers for thinking that way and go about your business.

I don't understand you man...

you acknowledge that those types of people (the people who make fun of baldness and other stuff) are insignificant and not worth your time...but those are the same people who make you feel uncomfortable in public and therefore wear a hat and be ashamed of yourself....so why would you let such stupid, idiotic people have such a big impact on your life?

What the f*** is wrong with, huh? Seriously, who the f*** do you think you are to attempt to use straight logic to compound someone's unpleasant situation by pointing out that their perception is somehow flawed? UCman's statement, as well as the statements of anyone else who feels looked down upon sometimes in public yet realizes the rudeness and callowness of the involved persons, is perfectly defensible, and I'll explain exactly how.

People in society share a lot of common values and ideas, one of those ideas being that hair on the scalp is usually better than no hair on the scalp, i.e., balding is not good regarding physical appearance. When a person realizes that he or she does not measure up to a particular value or idea, they f***ing feel uncomfortable in comparison to the ideal which has been ingrained in their minds from the early years and continues to be supported by the media and general public perception of attractiveness. When people around said person act in a manner that betrays their negative judgment of that person's appearance, it serves to fuel the discomfort that that person already possesses over their appearance, regardless if these people are being rude, immature, or just plain a**holes. I may think that someone is a complete ZERO and inconsequential to me, but if they walk up to me and say F**K YOU b**ch to my face, I will be pissed and likely angered.

So give me a fu**ing break with this "I don't understand you UCman," and go forget yourself, ok? F**ker trying to actually use logic to breakdown the complexity of psychology and failing miserably...FORGET YOU...who the F**K do you think you are?

 

[placenotsobo]

This is the definition of Paranoia.

People stare at people, I do it all the time. Just happens. A lot of the time I don't even realise I'm staring and it's kind of awkward when I realise I am. Maybe those people are staring at you because of your height, your colour, your hair loss or maybe because you are good looking. Most of the time though they'll just be staring at you for no apparent reason. Who gives a sh*t?

You have to stop being insecure and deal with reality rather than what you think might be happening.

No, it's not paranoia, you insensitive prick. The staring situations they are describing are real; I've experienced them myself and I can tell the difference between normal passing eye contact and purposeful staring. Why don't you go forget yourself before you start with your whole psychological spiel again? This is a physical world- that's how we derive our psychology. It can only ultimately be fixed physically, not psychologically.

I disagree with you and would like to reenforce decro's point. I stare at people all the time for what could be one of a million reasons. We are programmed to observe other humans that come into our vicinity. Otherwise how would you know if they are threat, etc? Sure, if someone walks over to you and stares straight at your vertex, there is a good chance he is examining your baldness. But I think the probability that someone is staring you in the eyes (which is what the OP was referring to) because you are balding is extremely small.

 

[uncomfortable man]

It just happens, OK? I could never understand how people could refuse to believe that there are those out there that would stare down or make fun of someone for being bald. NEWS FLASH: There are plenty of assholes out there that would not only make fun of baldness but handicapped and mentally retarded folks as well. Just tell yourself that those people are immature pathetic loosers for thinking that way and go about your business.

I don't understand you man...

you acknowledge that those types of people (the people who make fun of baldness and other stuff) are insignificant and not worth your time...but those are the same people who make you feel uncomfortable in public and therefore wear a hat and be ashamed of yourself....so why would you let such stupid, idiotic people have such a big impact on your life?

What the f*** is wrong with, huh? Seriously, who the f*** do you think you are to attempt to use straight logic to compound someone's unpleasant situation by pointing out that their perception is somehow flawed? UCman's statement, as well as the statements of anyone else who feels looked down upon sometimes in public yet realizes the rudeness and callowness of the involved persons, is perfectly defensible, and I'll explain exactly how.

People in society share a lot of common values and ideas, one of those ideas being that hair on the scalp is usually better than no hair on the scalp, i.e., balding is not good regarding physical appearance. When a person realizes that he or she does not measure up to a particular value or idea, they f***ing feel uncomfortable in comparison to the ideal which has been ingrained in their minds from the early years and continues to be supported by the media and general public perception of attractiveness. When people around said person act in a manner that betrays their negative judgment of that person's appearance, it serves to fuel the discomfort that that person already possesses over their appearance, regardless if these people are being rude, immature, or just plain a**holes. I may think that someone is a complete ZERO and inconsequential to me, but if they walk up to me and say F**K YOU b**ch to my face, I will be pissed and likely angered.

So give me a fu**ing break with this "I don't understand you UCman," and go forget yourself, ok? F**ker trying to actually use logic to breakdown the complexity of psychology and failing miserably...FORGET YOU...who the F**K do you think you are?

Thank you Krispin for understanding. Taught and learned behavior, that is the definition of culture. A shared understanding of a value system that is reinforced by it's people. Baldness is one of many things that this culture rejects so when any bald man is treated with any degree of disdain, be it an uncomfortable stare or pointing and chuckling, they do it because he is different from what society has deemed as normal. Sure, people look at each other all the time almost to the point of it being involuntary. This is not debatable, it is how they respond in that moment that reads the intent. People tend to not hide the way they feel about something and will express it almost subconciously on their facial expressions- disgust, embarrassment, laughter, pity. That is how I can tell who is responding to my baldness and who is not. But it all can become too overwhelming if you fixate on it. I just have to take solice in the idea that this culture and those who support it are shallow and petty and vain and that those are values that aren't important.

 

[Leon S Habsburg]

I catch dudes looking at my balding head all the time, especially on the tube, some right gormless twats on there. It's normally other balding dudes though who do the most staring, pisses me off, I hate people staring at me....I don't mind people looking, but fixating their stare on me for longer than necessary gets my back up.

I've noticed kids laughing at my bald spot when they've been sitting behind me also, though there kids, and i've buzzed my head all over now and the bald spot blends in well with the hair around it.

I was mega depressed about my balding for two years, but buzzing it was the best thing i've done as I don't worry about so much now, and I've realised I have a pretty good head shape and the buzz suits, but goddamn, i'm stuck with this hairstyle for life now, and i'll only carry on balding to what appears to be a eventual NW6 territory.

 

[Krispin]

Thank you Krispin for understanding. Taught and learned behavior, that is the definition of culture. A shared understanding of a value system that is reinforced by it's people. Baldness is one of many things that this culture rejects so when any bald man is treated with any degree of disdain, be it an uncomfortable stare or pointing and chuckling, they do it because he is different from what society has deemed as normal. Sure, people look at each other all the time almost to the point of it being involuntary. This is not debatable, it is how they respond in that moment that reads the intent. People tend to not hide the way they feel about something and will express it almost subconciously on their facial expressions- disgust, embarrassment, laughter, pity. That is how I can tell who is responding to my baldness and who is not. But it all can become too overwhelming if you fixate on it. I just have to take solice in the idea that this culture and those who support it are shallow and petty and vain and that those are values that aren't important.

Yeah no problem- I may have overreacted somewhat, but I just get ticked when someone is arguing a subject that they do not fully comprehend. I agree that appearance is surely not the only thing to our identities and usually not the most important thing in life.

-Krispin

 

[End_Game]

I've been lurking on these boards for a while, just decided to sign up. I'm not bald yet, but i'm around a NW2, with long hair, so the thinning is becoming obvious. People stare all the time, esp women, but i've managed to still get some interest from them.

Back to the topic at hand, i agree with most of the comments here by UM. Why? Not necessarily from experience, but from my understanding of how humans treat difference. Baldness is just another form of 'difference'. While bald men are not treated on the same level as retarded people or mental patients, they still fall short of the physical ideal, and naturally this has consequences. Of course it's up to the individual how they deal with it, but let's be real, being bald is negative in this society, with few exceptions. The examples used here are all well and good, but these guys are exceptions to the rule. in that they look great bald. Vin Diesel looked pretty ordinary with hair, but without it, he looks quite distinctive, and handsome. Dave Draiman also looks good without hair. But these guys all have the right head shape and facial features to make the look work for them, and that's why they are exceptions, an explains their sex symbol status.

I'd also like to add that Yul Brynner was a sex symbol in his day. Obviously not on the same level as James Dean or Cary Grant, but he was considered to be handsome in an unconventional way. People did not consider him ugly.

As for the Australian Idol pic uploaded earlier, that guy looks good bald too, but did you take a look at his girlfriend? Do you honestly think he would have dated a woman like her if he had his hair? That guy would have been a real woman magnet before he went bald.

The only bald men i know that are 'ladies men' are rich, and that's no joke.

 

[rcom440]

Baldness is just another form of 'difference'. While bald men are not treated on the same level as retarded people or mental patients, they still fall short of the physical ideal, and naturally this has consequences.

There are more and more men who are bold, meaning Norwood 2 to 6. I think we, people who are still NW2-3, are lucky because most of the people don't consider someone who's NW2-3 bald.

People stare at me all the time. It could be because the way I look like and also the way I dress. My style draws attention. It may be negative attention, however I don't care because I like my style.

 

[Leon S Habsburg]

That's not you in your avatar is it?