blackg
Senior Member
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I am really happy with for you, Dave.
Now bask in the afterglow of a pleasant evening. It feels great.
The Frequent "official" Origin Of My Recent Failures With Women
- Thread starter Afro_Vacancy
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Now bask in the afterglow of a pleasant evening. It feels great.
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I can feel that relief...
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What's ideal weight afro?
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For a woman, between 15 and 20% body fat.
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Post a pic of your ideal body (preferably from your fap folder)
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I posted pictures of Holly Peers a few days ago. She's my idea of the ideal moment at this moment.
Ideal is also not a point but a range. I don't think I'd notice a difference if she gained or lost 5 lbs, but 10 lbs I probably would.
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nice. good thickness without being excessive. i wouldn't mind her legs wrapped around my head
CaptainForehead
Senior Member
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No way she is 15-20% body fat
she is like 25% body fat
15 to 20 % on women in real life is not sexy (IMO) on most women, a lot of charts are wrong on internet..its very athletic conditioned or naturally very skinny fashion model look 15-20% ..this girl is voluptuous you can 'pinch' her so to speak.
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It's mostly about looksmaxing, so keep on doing that.
And then you have to accept that modern dating is inherently chaotic.
With experience, you learn to identify real opportunities and the girls that are truly interested in you.
Before I met my current girlfriend, I really was on top of my game, in the sense that I knew how to optimize my dating life.
Of course that didn't mean that I stopped making mistakes, sometimes I still lost my temper with a girl online, sometimes I would get mad that a girl accepted to have a date with me while her attraction for me was non-existent, I would get even madder when they would tell me that they already felt nothing when they saw my pictures (but they thought I could seduce them as I was nice-looking and seemed to have my sh*t together), etc.
But those instances became rare. Also I knew exactly how to handle certain situations. Like the girls who would throw tantrums because I wasn't behaving how they were expecting me to behave. For example "I really liked you but you don't text me often enough! I can't go on like this!". I stood my ground, told her I really liked her, that it would be a shame to stop here, and that I was available if she changed her mind.
And of course, a week later or so (when she realized her other prospects weren't as good), she came back crawling "I want to see you again, I'm not crazy!". Thanks to my looksmaxing (and I wasn't even gymcelling at the time), my extensive experience, my height probably, my social intuition and my realism (as @pjhair just said above, you have to stay within your league), my dating life became very pleasant.
What I see in @buckthorn 's post is just bitterness due to a failure to accept reality as it is. Yes, looks matter a lot. Yes, the competition is fierce (and that's why you need to optimize your looks), yes, incidentally women can be very demanding and unforgiving. Yes, things like hair (get on meds/get a hair transplant!) and height matter too. And yes, you need to remain realistic about your expectations, you need to know your true worth.
When I see myself a few years back: bald, slightly overweight (I see it now), mostly inexperienced, short-tempered, weak (mentally) and at the same time complaining about my dating life being hell, in the sense that women were treating me like crap, withdrawing sex very early in the relationship and in the end, either dumping me for a better-looking guy or constantly complaining about me not being good enough, "not making an effort", which in turn drove me to leave them...
Was that behavior normal and even expected? With everything I know now, absolutely. After I got better physically (hair transplant, some weight loss) and mentally (dating experience), all the above pretty much disappeared, and never came back, despite me dating like 15 girls in a year. All of a sudden they were all puppies that were walking on eggshells when interacting with me.
That's a long post... I hope you guys can take something away from it. In the end, there's no use complaining about women and ultimately, about real life and how it works.
You just have to put in the work (looksmaxing, getting experience, play the numbers game), discover what you plateau is and accept it no matter what your expectations were beforehand. And that's the hardest part for many people it seems.
I got to have 4 quality (cute, not fat, educated) girlfriends on my level (6-6.5/10) that were treating me very kindly and who all wanted a relationship with me. More than that was clearly unmanageable. That was my plateau and I accept it. You don't see me complaining that I can't get model-looking 9/10 girls to commit to me, let alone acknowledge my existence. It's off-limit for me and always will be.
@That Guy also mentioned this the other day: don't be the MGTOW type who bashes women all day long for wanting a man on her level and is surprised that they don't find his NW4, his gut and his semi-neet lifestyle attractive.
"Women who want the best they can have... and get it! Hypergamous b****s!"
Hang in there @David_MPN . Put in the work and you'll get what you deserve
How do you do it, be happy with a girl within your league? Can you learn it/did you develop such a skill?
shookwun
Senior Member
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that is one of his best posts ever!
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This thread should be updated so that everyone knows he lost his virginity.
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It is a good post, yes.
But how do you determine your league? By the quality of women wo show an interest in you, like you on Tinder?
Or by which girls I‘d rate the same? By how others would rate me or the girls?
I‘m not criticizing anyone who wants to date up, but I refuse to believe that what I can get is also my league, even though and especially because I think I‘m quite self-critical.
And finally: how do you do it? Can you learn how to be attracted to a 5-6 girl, i.e. a girl your league? Any inputs?
It‘s not that in my life I‘ve only found 8-9s attractive, but without exception they‘ve all been better looking than me, and I am pretty sure that‘s not just me putting them on a pedestal.
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You know your league by your own looks - are you handsome? are you decent looking? are you average? are you below average?
As for having more normal expectations - avoiding pornography will be a great start because it makes us believe that women are all slim, with big boobs, no cellulite and no body hair.
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But what if your self-assessment does not correspond with your market? Is you league defined by the former or the latter?
Many overestimate their league, so your league is not necessarily your market, although the girls who show an intererst in you think they are looking within your league or even below.
A good friend of mine has dates that are in 90% of the cases less good looking and only in 10% of the cases the same league. What is his league now? The ones that go out with him/his apparent market or the 10%?
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Get second opinions.
You know if you are a 6 or above if you get more than 5 matches a day on tinder.
I grow up thinking I wasn't attractive at all - it wasn't until I tried online dating at age 25 and started sleeping around that I was okay looking.
I used to sleep with ugly looking women thinking they were good for me. Its only these past 3 years where my standard got better.
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When I was young, things were even worse: girls were educated to _not_ admit a man's looks had any weight in mating decisions. It was considered ill-mannered, impolite and stupid.
Many girls would voice the opinion that "they did not like handsome men".
The terrible effect of this social convention was that guys never understood what was happening to them. They would be nice and (possibly) charming to girls, only to discover their attention had no outcome. Not surprisingly, they were frustrated and depressed because they thought they were not making things right. No one would tell them that they just were not handsome as others.
We all easily blame the "social networks" for this image-obsessed culture. Maybe we should thank social networks for allowing women to state what they really want. Hunks.
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The question was: do these opinions (including your own) really count or is basically only relevant what options Tinder/the market tells you?
My assessment of my looks is somewhere in between what demand/Tinder and verbal feedback from people NOT potentially romantically pursuing me, which makes it almost irrelevant imo.
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Base your opinion on market feedback.
If you haven't had many girlfriends or lays then you probably have low sexual market value.