The Mentality Of "if He's Not Doing The Chase, He's Not Interested"

[CopeForLife]

Sure but you can tell if they are for real when you start talking about books, music, and film.

I also would only date a professional - I wouldn't date a female loser.

why should I talk with random people on Tinder about books or films? won't it be more rational to visit dedicated forums/boards to discuss this with people who're really interesting in things

all this dating/flirting thing is retarded

 

[BaldyBalderBald]

Sure but you can tell if they are for real when you start talking about books, music, and film.

I also would only date a professional - I wouldn't date a female loser.

That's just about getting some big *** titties man, admit it, there's no shame, that app was made for this

 

[Exodus2011]

why should I talk with random people on Tinder about books or films? won't it be more rational to visit dedicated forums/boards to discuss this with people who're really interesting in things

all this dating/flirting thing is retarded

the idea is to get a girl who is the type to visit those dedicated forums/boards . . . . . . which unfortunately seems next to impossible lmao

 

[samantha3333]

I said a woman's desirability comes MOSTLY from beauty. I didn't say "only".

Perhaps top tiered males and females are equally rare.

But men are not the only victims of modern culture.
Beautiful women inevitably take the easy way through life. Manipulate weak men to get what they want. and in the short term this works out fine,
But long term she will become a poor contributer of any gifts of the mind, or any other contributions to making this world a more enjoyable place to live in.
A top tier woman would be able to keep her unique personality and contact with reality open.

When a true f*****g hero man is dating women one after another, they become boring cliche's after a while, all asleep. When he meets an authentic woman with a real personality, then he might be open to a relationship. He's not looking for a teenager to babysit, he's looking for a real woman.


I don't think this guy goes on tinder to find real relationship material...
Tinder, weird unnatural compartmentalisation of the deepest emotional experience in course of your human existence... you cannot reduce this biological event to a swipe and expect it to be meaningful.
...plus he has no need for it lol

I feel that I've always always been a poor contributor. I've been way too brainwashed by modern culture. I'm passive. "If he doesn't text you loads or asks to see you more and more (because if he likes you that much, he gotta revolve around you right?), he probs isn't into it" "if he likes you, he'll plan nice things and pay for your meals". Slowly I realised i never learned to contribute.

 

[CopeForLife]

*cage.gif*

 

[samantha3333]

That's just about getting some big *** titties man, admit it, there's no shame, that app was made for this

More and more people in their 20s and even 30s form relationships from tinder. It just takes A LOT of work to weed out the filth and garbage, which is 90% of the user base. That's why I said it's a lot of work even for top tiered people.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

why should I talk with random people on Tinder about books or films? won't it be more rational to visit dedicated forums/boards to discuss this with people who're really interesting in things

all this dating/flirting thing is retarded

Because you want the person who you may spend the rest of your life with to like similar things.

If they are into getting blisteringly drunk on weekends whereas I may like hiking or theatre than we wouldn't make a good match.

The discussion is where you can weed out the ones who are incompatible.

 

[Exodus2011]

View attachment 67961

*cage.gif*

to be fair she does seem cool lol. better to not have much confidence than be an overly confident bitchy type. and what i notice is she's attractive, but not in a conventional way if that makes sense.

 

[CopeForLife]

View attachment 67963

to be fair she does seem cool lol. better to not have much confidence than be an overly confident bitchy type. and what i notice is she's attractive, but not in a conventional way if that makes sense.

she is attractive in the most f*****g conventional way

just imagine the amount of PMs she got from pathetic redditors if any landwhale gets hundreds

"""lonely""" woman



not existing

 

[Exodus2011]

she is attractive in the most f*****g conventional way

just imagine the amount of PMs she got from pathetic redditors if any landwhale gets hundreds

"""lonely""" woman



not existing

idk lol. she just looks strange to me. its probably the prominent chin. looks like she would be the type to chill with nerds and sh*t but once she finds out she is hot , or at least reasonably so, will abandon them to chill with chads and preps. edge of the loser crowd kind of deal

 

[CopeForLife]

idk lol. she just looks strange to me. its probably the prominent chin. looks like she would be the type to chill with nerds and sh*t but once she finds out she is hot , or at least reasonably so, will abandon them to chill with chads and preps. edge of the loser crowd kind of deal

this lol

would be gangbanged by 2-3 chads in a few months

 

[buckthorn]

Had some very thought provoking conversations with my guy friends recently. They seem to think if the guy isn't doing 100% of the work and lock things down within 2 months, he's not doing the chase and therefore he's probably not interested. I grew up having this mentality. The older I get, the older I realise as a woman, I need to do some of the work too. However, at the back of my head, I always wonder if the guy actually has to be all over me to show that he's interested? So I held back. I played the "don't care" game. I just went along with whatever he said. I didn't initiate anything or made effort. Then I realised he started to pull back.

When I asked my guy friends, so what is possibly inside his head? "Yeah he's not interested. Guys don't care if you're doing any work. If they like you, they will chase you". Isn't this an very outdated idea? Isn't this off putting for guys? If even guys think this way, no wonder how many women feel entitled to attention.

What do you guys think is the more mature way of dating?

you're asking a bunch of insecure guys with crippling, disfiguring hair loss if we "do the chase" when we are interested in women?? Just imagine he is as insecure as you, perhaps just with other things...if you were in HIS shoes, would you jump after it and be all optimistic and such. Perhaps he's just dating you and doesn't care because he has given up hope? idk. I have been talking to this girl that's is super into me and the LAST thing I would do is chase her. but that's just me.

 

[blackg]

Because top 20% of men are being chased by 80% of women.

Not this tired old statistic again.
Real life will show you that this is not reality.

 

[blackg]

I class them as somewhat near top tier if they are attractive, have interesting hobbies, a social life, and a professional job.

By meeting all those criterias you would be top 10%.

Interesting hobbies are subjective but I'm intrigued by anyone interested in arts, travel and general adventure.

We are getting tired of your cryptic humble bragging.

 

[samantha3333]

I don't know your exact circumstances, so What I've said is a generalisation.

If you are super hot (like Avatar picture) then you should be aggressive with expressing your personality and "contributing". Go straight for the best men. If he can handle it and have REAL conversation that's a good sign, BUT Watch if they get nervous, or if you feel weird. If they do then walk away, it would last because you'd get bored. Be weary of false confidence from alchohol.

If you are just pretty, then be careful with guys your age with a lot of confidence and appeal. Don't contribute too much, they are still young and just want to get laid as much as humanly possible. He will definitely break your heart.

I'm not going to say if I'm super hot or just pretty, pretty subjective thing. I always go to what I consider best men and I don't know how to "contribute". When I like someone or think someone has potential, I hold waaaaay back to protect my feelings. I also try to date guys >5 years older than me.

Why should I walk away if they get nervous or if I feel weird? Part of the reasons why I sat back was that initially I thought he was nervous. I felt weird around him because of that. I felt that he was trying too hard to impress. I sat back thinking if he likes me that much, he'll keep doing all the work. I became very passive and sometimes defensive. He started to retreat.

 

[samantha3333]

you're asking a bunch of insecure guys with crippling, disfiguring hair loss if we "do the chase" when we are interested in women?? Just imagine he is as insecure as you, perhaps just with other things...if you were in HIS shoes, would you jump after it and be all optimistic and such. Perhaps he's just dating you and doesn't care because he has given up hope? idk. I have been talking to this girl that's is super into me and the LAST thing I would do is chase her. but that's just me.

I think normal people sometimes are insecure in their own way but definitely not as much as people who have real problems. You can pretty much tell if someone is insecure deep inside when they talk about themselves too much / tryina to be all girly or macho / criticise other people a lot etc.

I think if you can tell she's super into you, you don't have to the chasing. I'm not sure how you can tell someone is super into you if she's not doing the work already.

 

[CopeForLife]

cucks reinvented

https://np.reddit.com/r/casualiama/comments/3g9ajl/i_am_a_50_year_old_married_virgin_ama/

 

[JohnsonDDG]

If he's really into you, he'll chase you and notice what makes you, you. He'll feel and express an array of emotions in your presence and likewise.

Haha good luck with waiting for that guy in 2017.

Too many options for a top tier guy to chase one specific woman if they don't respond to his flirtations.

 

[SmoothSailing]

At the begging I certainly feel it's the guy who will have to do the work. The first step for me is to figure out if she's into me. So ask her out, and after the first date if she agrees to a second I feel she's into me.

But if she puts no effort in during this time, cancels a date, doesn't respond to a message, or it doesn't feel like she's into me, I certainly won't chase her. I've learned to quickly give up. Time wasting.

And it's not like I have loads of options, it's just never worked out for me to chase her down and constantly have to be the one to message her first, or ask her out somewhere, or initiate everything.

I think if it actually was the case that she liked me and was just "playing hard to get", or just used to being chased, she would still try and initiate something a while after me giving up.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Had some very thought provoking conversations with my guy friends recently. They seem to think if the guy isn't doing 100% of the work and lock things down within 2 months, he's not doing the chase and therefore he's probably not interested. I grew up having this mentality. The older I get, the older I realise as a woman, I need to do some of the work too. However, at the back of my head, I always wonder if the guy actually has to be all over me to show that he's interested? So I held back. I played the "don't care" game. I just went along with whatever he said. I didn't initiate anything or made effort. Then I realised he started to pull back.

When I asked my guy friends, so what is possibly inside his head? "Yeah he's not interested. Guys don't care if you're doing any work. If they like you, they will chase you". Isn't this an very outdated idea? Isn't this off putting for guys? If even guys think this way, no wonder how many women feel entitled to attention.

What do you guys think is the more mature way of dating?

A lot of guys don't want to be arrested for stalking and sexual harassment, and don't want restraining orders. Those are the men who will not be inclined to do ~100% of the work.