To all the NW2s and 3s.

[slipy]

Just ask yourself one simple question and be honest with yourself. Why did you join this site? To find out about treatment options to prevent any further hairloss... WHY? Because at the end of the day you don't want to wind up bald yourself. Simple truth, so why do you try and convince others who are actually bald and living your fears day in and day out that it's no big deal and to just get over it? Surely hair loss is an issue for you if you are on this site so don't play the hypocrite card and feed us this PC BS when your intentions are obvious. Initially I joined this site to find options to get my hair back but since learning that none of them of are practical, I have used this site to vent my frustrations in the impact section and occasionally check to see how HM is coming along. So if your hair loss at whatever stage bothers you, then please refrain from preaching to those who are actually worse off. End rant/

You are 6'2", have great facial features and I am sure you could be considered attractive, but I can only imagne how your insecurities translate to your social abitilies, posture, being assertive etc. making you look like a miserable weak male and that is the thing that is provoking others to make negative comments about you(because they can). If it wasn't baldness it would be something else.

The fact is not many are blessed with perfect genetics. Some of us are dumb, some of us are short, some of us are bald, some of us are ugly, some of us are disabled etc. yet not everyone is mourning over their flaws.

How can a tall good looking healthy male complain about his hair all his life is beyond me.

And yet UCman encounters many people reacting negatively to him despite him being a good looking tall bald man.im sure his behaviour is completely adequate and he acts normal while in public. He can't ignore that and be in denial. i think that shows the gravity of baldness impact. As HPM said - it's better to be conventionally unattractive than bald.

 

[hairlosshippie]

I'll assume I was part of this frustration after I saw your reply in the chances thread and I'm new around here.

I truly apologize if I offended you in particular because that wasn't my intention. But, at the same time, you're coming at this with a lot of presuppositions that people who have it "better than you" aren't suffering as badly as you. You might also be assuming my hair is better than it really is after the things I said. You've shown yourself, so I'll show myself. I will PM you a picture if you'd like and anyone else who wants to see. You can take a look. It appear I'm more like an NW4(age 25 in the pic) after looking at how bad my hair looks in the shot.

First and foremost, I will agree that there is a big difference between an NW5 and an Norwood 2. However, I don't think someone looks at my hair slightly grown out and an NW5 and determines that I have a "full head of hair" over an NW5. Regardless, they both don't look good. We can agree on that I hope.

I'm on this forum for moral support, various treatments aside from minoxidil/finasteride as they aren't an option for me, and to see the latest in breakthroughs/discoveries. I also joined to get a better opinion on my situation which hopefully more will reply to. The brutal truth is that I will also be an NW5 with the rest of the others on here. I know my destiny.

 

[uncomfortable man]

All I know is that they don't call us "hairloss sufferers" for nothing.

 

[HairPieceMan]

yes why does the media call us hairloss sufferers with a "cure" along the way.

 

[fodandahalf]

And yet UCman encounters many people reacting negatively to him despite him being a good looking tall bald man.im sure his behaviour is completely adequate and he acts normal while in public. He can't ignore that and be in denial. i think that shows the gravity of baldness impact. As HPM said - it's better to be conventionally unattractive than bald.

To be honest I'd much rather be attractive and bald than unattractive and not bald. There are ways to cover/ deal with baldness and which are becoming more and more effective. That said I do know a few great looking girls who point out guys I'd never consider attractive (I'm not the only one who thinks this) who have 'cool' hairstyles sporting ridiculous fringes/ quiffs whatever and say that they are 'hot.' It goes to show that hair can be a great tool for unattractive men I suppose.

 

[uncomfortable man]

And yet UCman encounters many people reacting negatively to him despite him being a good looking tall bald man.im sure his behaviour is completely adequate and he acts normal while in public. He can't ignore that and be in denial. i think that shows the gravity of baldness impact. As HPM said - it's better to be conventionally unattractive than bald.

To be honest I'd much rather be attractive and bald than unattractive and not bald. There are ways to cover/ deal with baldness and which are becoming more and more effective. That said I do know a few great looking girls who point out guys I'd never consider attractive (I'm not the only one who thinks this) who have 'cool' hairstyles sporting ridiculous fringes/ quiffs whatever and say that they are 'hot.' It goes to show that hair can be a great tool for unattractive men I suppose.

I suppose if hairloss can make a handsome man average at best then great hair can turn an average dull guy into a "hottie". Makes sense. That is the power of hair for ya.

 

[Primo]

Even taken at face value as a simple rant, this is a frankly ridiculous thread given the circumstances of the OP.

UCman I never realised you were 6ft 2!!! :woot: as a tall, good-looking man with a well proportioned head, you could easily be clearing up the dating game if you wanted to.

Half the time people girls are staring, it's probably an admiring glance but you don't even realise it.

As a shortish 5ft 8 guy, I can't tell you how many times, I've been in a bar/club situation chatting up a girl on the dancefloor before some 6ft+ motherfucker barges in out of nowhere and hijacks my opening... immediately the girl's interest switches to the tall dude because without even opening his mouth he has higher value, status and presence than the other average height guys. Girls are just naturally programmed like that, you should be exploiting it.

I know you say you don't want to be a peacock male etc.. but you should really be embracing your undoubted physical attributes and using them to your advantage.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Even taken at face value as a simple rant, this is a frankly ridiculous thread given the circumstances of the OP.

UCman I never realised you were 6ft 2!!! :woot: as a tall, good-looking man with a well proportioned head, you could easily be clearing up the dating game if you wanted to.

Half the time people girls are staring, it's probably an admiring glance but you don't even realise it. Trust me, I can differentiate between an admiring glance and a disgusted sneer.

As a shortish 5ft 8 guy, I can't tell you how many times, I've been in a bar/club situation chatting up a girl on the dancefloor before some 6ft+ M*****F***** barges in out of nowhere and hijacks my opening... immediately the girl's interest switches to the tall dude because without even opening his mouth he has higher value, status and presence than the other average height guys. So if you can admit to short guys being universally recognized as inferior, then why can't you admit that the same problem also applies to bald guys? Girls are just naturally programmed like that, you should be exploiting it.
The baldness cancels out my other attributes. The same girl that went with the tall guy instead of you would also reject me for someone with more hair based on the same criteria. How can you not see this?

I know you say you don't want to be a peacock male etc.. but you should really be embracing your undoubted physical attributes and using them to your advantage.

 

[jd_uk]

Yes, I have more hair than UC at the moment....in future, my genetics say that I won't.

But this guy doesn't half talk some negative BS. Yes, baldness is seen as a negative by many - but not by all - and even in those that see it as a negative - not many are actually bothered enough to be disgusted by it.

And UC if you're 6ft 2, good shaped head etc etc then I'm sure there will be short guys reading this quietly to themselves thinking 'f*ck off' try being in my position. If you want to whinge all your life then carry on but don't try to spread that fear to others because you still can't accept yourself.

All the Norwood 2,3,4's are here for their own reasons and yes they want to keep their hair and are scared of going bald, but for most of us it wont be something we dwell on for the rest of our lives once it is all gone.

Only last weekend, I walked past a girl telling all her friends how she couldn't help but finding bald men extremely sexy - hair loss sucks, but it is not the end of the world, or the dating game - if you're still part of it.

 

[Primo]

Half the time people girls are staring, it's probably an admiring glance but you don't even realise it. Trust me, I can differentiate between an admiring glance and a disgusted sneer.

As a shortish 5ft 8 guy, I can't tell you how many times, I've been in a bar/club situation chatting up a girl on the dancefloor before some 6ft+ M*****F***** barges in out of nowhere and hijacks my opening... immediately the girl's interest switches to the tall dude because without even opening his mouth he has higher value, status and presence than the other average height guys. So if you can admit to short guys being universally recognized as inferior, then why can't you admit that the same problem also applies to bald guys? Girls are just naturally programmed like that, you should be exploiting it.
The baldness cancels out my other attributes. The same girl that went with the tall guy instead of you would also reject me for someone with more hair based on the same criteria. How can you not see this?

Hey, I admit that initially for the first 4 or 5 seconds the tall guy with hair will command more attention than me... that is until he opens his mouth and she instantly sniffs him out as just another low status douche with no chat, no game, who displays desperate and needy looking body language... i.e. 90% of the male population. This is where I have a real edge.

Of course for some who are used to being very top of the pile on the attractiveness scale (UC Man?) this initial pass-up for the tall guy, or NW1 dude can be a serious dent to the ego, but I guess I've been dealing with this exact scenario since I was 16 so have learned how to cope with it better and more resiliently.

Assuming you're not completely fugly, how you carry yourself around women i.e. your body language and vibe, will dictate how you do in the dating and pick up game.

Being a tall, good looking NW1 does not give you a divine right to pick up women, if you're game is poor you will still f*ck things up and turn off women as soon as you open your mouth... unless they're really ugly or fat...

 

[ghg]

I joined this site in 2006 when I still had a decent head of hair. By decent I mean that not many ppl would've thought that I'm balding, but I definitely knew what was happening and so did my barber and the Doctor who prescribed me finasteride. But that was 5 years ago, and now that I'm truly very thin on top, I'm starting to realize what an effing big deal it is. In 2006 I thought that I was lucky not to be completely bald when I hit 25, but now that I'm almost 29 and still not completely bald I still don't feel too good about it. Time hasn't healed my wounds at all. Balding. Sucks.

 

[kejan]

Balding does indeed suck but it's not the end of the whole world like some people make out.

I'm a NW3 and the emotional rollercoaster I go through nearly every week is a ride and half. Times I see myself and think I want to go for a shaved look and then the week after I think, I'm going to keep this as it looks ok.

I look less attractive than I did, I know that. I have a fairly large forehead and big earlobes (they don't stick out but they are fairly large). Yet, I seem to be getting more attention from ladies than I did when I was a Nwd 1 and 8 years younger.

I'm in the best shape of my life, I'm looking after my skin and I'm remaining or at least attemping to remain positive and feel reasonably confident.
In the past, I was too nervous and sensitive, if someone would slag me off even in a light hearted fashion, I would take it to heart and think about it for hours, even days!
It's water of a ducks back now. If someone makes fun of you for your hair or anything even if you are raging at it, just let it go. If it's in front of a group of girls too and some douche comes outwith a baldie comment or makes a nasty comment, he will look like a twat and a good number of the girls will think he is a twat.

2 friends of mine ;
1 is NW4/diffuse all over - has at least 4/5 women chasing him and they are all very attractive. His nick name at soccer was 'Skelator' yes him from He-Man! So you can imagine what he looks like. He walks into a room with his held head high. He's light-hearted, out-going and a happy go lucky chappy. Who takes as good as he gets.

1 is NW1 - has had one girlfriend his whole 28 years. Is often told he's attractive and a handsome guy. Yet he can't get a date. He's a nice guy and a great friend but when it comes to women he's shy and looks down. Has a low opinoin of himself even if we and women tell him he's cute, he doesn't see and even says he doesn't know when he'll ever get a girlfriend.

When these 2 walk into a room. 90% of the time, the intital eyes will move to NW1 from the ladies but at the end of the night, 99% of the time the women would end up going home with NW4 and the reason is confidence.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Your example is not the rule, it is the exception. Confidence comes from positive feedback usually in the form of compliments about our appearance, or from compliments about having a certain talent or being a hard worker. Point is, how is someone supposed to derive confidence when all they get is negative feedback? Usually the good looking people get all the adulation and positive attention which in return bolsters their confidence (to the point of being arrogant). Bald guys don't get those encouraging cues from society and manufactured confidence is a crock of sh*t.

 

[CaptainForehead]

Your example is not the rule, it is the exception. Confidence comes from positive feedback usually in the form of compliments about our appearance, or from compliments about having a certain talent or being a hard worker. Point is, how is someone supposed to derive confidence when all they get is negative feedback? Usually the good looking people get all the adulation and positive attention which in return bolsters their confidence (to the point of being arrogant). Bald guys don't get those encouraging cues from society and manufactured confidence is a crock of sh*t.

BUT in your case, you were a dashing fella with hair...you WERE the pretty boy, and hence your confidence should be at arrogant levels :innocent:


Hmmm....maybe its the fall to "ordinary" aesthetic levels that you have been finding crippling.

 

[SuprisedGuy]

Your example is not the rule, it is the exception. Confidence comes from positive feedback usually in the form of compliments about our appearance, or from compliments about having a certain talent or being a hard worker. Point is, how is someone supposed to derive confidence when all they get is negative feedback? Usually the good looking people get all the adulation and positive attention which in return bolsters their confidence (to the point of being arrogant). Bald guys don't get those encouraging cues from society and manufactured confidence is a crock of sh*t.

Confidence does not come from compliments, a person whose self-worth is contingent on the opinions of others is at their core insecure which is why they depend on others for validation. Of course the feedback we get from others is important in childhood i.e. unconditional love from a parent but most people do receive that.

Genuine self-confidence, which is related to self-esteem and one's self-image, comes from self-efficacy and self-acceptance. That doesn't mean being liked and complimented doesn't contribute to a positive view of oneself, it most certainly does, but it's neither necessary or sufficient for one to develop self-confidence.

 

[HairPieceMan]

Your example is not the rule, it is the exception. Confidence comes from positive feedback usually in the form of compliments about our appearance, or from compliments about having a certain talent or being a hard worker. Point is, how is someone supposed to derive confidence when all they get is negative feedback? Usually the good looking people get all the adulation and positive attention which in return bolsters their confidence (to the point of being arrogant). Bald guys don't get those encouraging cues from society and manufactured confidence is a crock of sh*t.

this is exactly the point i make to people.

turn up dressed badly, get negative social feedback, you feel bad, lowwer self esteem and confidence

turn up 25 or 30 and white with NO HAIR, get negative social feedback, feel back, lower self esteem and confidence.

Your example is not the rule, it is the exception. Confidence comes from positive feedback usually in the form of compliments about our appearance, or from compliments about having a certain talent or being a hard worker. Point is, how is someone supposed to derive confidence when all they get is negative feedback? Usually the good looking people get all the adulation and positive attention which in return bolsters their confidence (to the point of being arrogant). Bald guys don't get those encouraging cues from society and manufactured confidence is a crock of sh*t.

Confidence does not come from compliments, a person whose self-worth is contingent on the opinions of others is at their core insecure which is why they depend on others for validation. Of course the feedback we get from others is important in childhood i.e. unconditional love from a parent but most people do receive that.

Genuine self-confidence, which is related to self-esteem and one's self-image, comes from self-efficacy and self-acceptance. That doesn't mean being liked and complimented doesn't contribute to a positive view of oneself, it most certainly does, but it's neither necessary or sufficient for one to develop self-confidence.

self acceptance? what do you mean by that, i mean if someone accepts his 5 0, bald, overweight self (ala dani divito) he can still have self confidence , how is this posible, society and the real world woudl come crashing down on him, im pretty sure if someoe like that tried to get girls for a few months "pretending" he is 6 0, NW1, slim person it wont work.

can you really imagine a dani divito in a club pretending he is brad pitt, thus becoming brad pit, people woudl look and stare at him, for being 5 0 tall alone, in fact i think clubs wont let "children" in , he'd have to have a drivers licnee to buy drinks to proove he is an adult, societywould judge you extreely negateively for being 5 0 tall.

 

[SuprisedGuy]

self acceptance? what do you mean by that, i mean if someone accepts his 5 0, bald, overweight self (ala dani divito) he can still have self confidence , how is this posible, society and the real world woudl come crashing down on him, im pretty sure if someoe like that tried to get girls for a few months "pretending" he is 6 0, NW1, slim person it wont work.

can you really imagine a dani divito in a club pretending he is brad pitt, thus becoming brad pit, people woudl look and stare at him, for being 5 0 tall alone, in fact i think clubs wont let "children" in , he'd have to have a drivers licnee to buy drinks to proove he is an adult, societywould judge you extreely negateively for being 5 0 tall.

Self-acceptance means recognizing your strengths and deficiencies (real ones and/or those perceived by society) but still feeling you are worthy of love and respect from others. And that you are adequate since those who obsess about their "flaws" believe they are fundamentally deficient.

Your Danny Devito example is amusing since his success demonstrates that yes you can be extremely short, bald, overweight, etc. and live a fulfilling and happy life. Does that mean he probably doesn't wish he was taller? No, but it appears those "social handicaps" didn't impede him from getting what he wanted in life.

And you misunderstand the self-acceptance component of self-confidence, a guy who has that trait and looks like Danny Devito would never pretend to Brad Pitt or whoever to begin with. They'd present themselves to the world as they are without putting any substantial weight to the opinions of others, especially those individuals that view him as inferior.

 

[uncomfortable man]

I'm aware of my strengths and weaknesses. I'm a great artist for instance and derive confidence from that. But that confidence doesn't translate into how I feel about my appearance or how others respond to it. Whenever someone smirks at me or laughs or makes a rude comment about my bald head then I can't help but feel degraded and insecure. I have no confidence in the way I look and I have no idea how to learn to love and accept it. Perhaps I need to do like Stewart Smalley and give myself a look in the mirror and say " I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggone it, people like me." :roll: :roll:

 

[HairPieceMan]

self acceptance? what do you mean by that, i mean if someone accepts his 5 0, bald, overweight self (ala dani divito) he can still have self confidence , how is this posible, society and the real world woudl come crashing down on him, im pretty sure if someoe like that tried to get girls for a few months "pretending" he is 6 0, NW1, slim person it wont work.

can you really imagine a dani divito in a club pretending he is brad pitt, thus becoming brad pit, people woudl look and stare at him, for being 5 0 tall alone, in fact i think clubs wont let "children" in , he'd have to have a drivers licnee to buy drinks to proove he is an adult, societywould judge you extreely negateively for being 5 0 tall.

Self-acceptance means recognizing your strengths and deficiencies (real ones and/or those perceived by society) but still feeling you are worthy of love and respect from others. And that you are adequate since those who obsess about their "flaws" believe they are fundamentally deficient.

Your Danny Devito example is amusing since his success demonstrates that yes you can be extremely short, bald, overweight, etc. and live a fulfilling and happy life. Does that mean he probably doesn't wish he was taller? No, but it appears those "social handicaps" didn't impede him from getting what he wanted in life.

And you misunderstand the self-acceptance component of self-confidence, a guy who has that trait and looks like Danny Devito would never pretend to Brad Pitt or whoever to begin with. They'd present themselves to the world as they are without putting any substantial weight to the opinions of others, especially those individuals that view him as inferior.

ok we are thinking of two things here

confidence to not care about societies view of you

and confidence for getting qaulity girls

on the first one i think it is possible to not care what other peopel think of you even if you are a bit wierd, liek beign 5 0, or being fully bald @ 20 and looking a bit wierd because of it or something to those affects.

i ahve seen people walk the streets with things far worse than baldness, liek really messd up teeth or something.

so id say its possible to have 70% of the confidence youd have if you were 5 7 and NW1 as young adult, in THAT respect, over say being 5 2 and NW5 @ 20.

its not as if you cant go out into the world fully bald at 20 somethign and not care what people are going to think

but in terms of women i dont care how confident a 5 foot tall guy is, that guy is NOT gettting qaulity girls, almost everyone knows he's fucked over far more than baldness.

if he so much as pretends hes 6 foot tall and goes for some 5 6 qaulity girl that guy will NOT last 5 seconds, even if he looks great.

 

[jd_uk]

I'm aware of my strengths and weaknesses. I'm a great artist for instance and derive confidence from that. But that confidence doesn't translate into how I feel about my appearance or how others respond to it. Whenever someone smirks at me or laughs or makes a rude comment about my bald head then I can't help but feel degraded and insecure. I have no confidence in the way I look and I have no idea how to learn to love and accept it. Perhaps I need to do like Stewart Smalley and give myself a look in the mirror and say " I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggone it, people like me." :roll: :roll:

Do you REALLY get that many bad comments though? People see bald guys every day - very very few people see it as a massive negative. Most see it as something which just happens to people. Yeah, you get your idiots who do have a problem with it for some reason - but those people probably have an issue themselves and it makes them feel better. There are still lots of women who are attracted to guys who are bald.