Unconventional Dating Anecdote From This Evening

[blackg]

To be honest man, I've been thinking it might be a good thing if I were to move on from this place as well. Lots of regurgitated ideas over and over, to the point where it's lost much of the enjoyment I used to get, but I still continue to check in regularly and read the posts out of addiction I think more than anything. It's been a sanctuary for me at many times when I needed it, but I don't know how healthy it is to constantly reinforce the lookism side of my worldview by continuing to read and affirm very similar rantings over and over. It can become obsessive and although I am glad to understand these concepts it makes interactions with other people just feel kind of dark sometimes.

If I were to somehow permanently leave, which I don't know if I am capable of at the moment, I would certainly miss characters here, such as yourself, and our Belgian friend @WhitePolarBear amongst others

I know exactly what you mean about interactions with the outside world.
Sometimes I view every comment made, every action made and even every sideways glance ever made, through the prism of Redpill/ lookism.
Everyone has a social aesthetics hierarchy now.

It's not healthy!!

P.S. I will miss you, kj6.

 

[DoctorHouse]

To be honest man, I've been thinking it might be a good thing if I were to move on from this place as well. Lots of regurgitated ideas over and over, to the point where it's lost much of the enjoyment I used to get, but I still continue to check in regularly and read the posts out of addiction I think more than anything. It's been a sanctuary for me at many times when I needed it, but I don't know how healthy it is to constantly reinforce the lookism side of my worldview by continuing to read and affirm very similar rantings over and over. It can become obsessive and although I am glad to understand these concepts it makes interactions with other people just feel kind of dark sometimes.

If I were to somehow permanently leave, which I don't know if I am capable of at the moment, I would certainly miss characters here, such as yourself, and our Belgian friend @WhitePolarBear amongst others

You have only been here for a over a year. I have been here for 10 years. I call that addiction. A lot of has to do with curiosity more than anything. I can tell you when you finally get to catch up with someone who used to post many years ago and has been gone for a long time its can be really nice. I think once you find yourself a special woman, you will find it much easier to move on. Maybe this place can be like a purgatory or as a sanctuary as you said until you can move on and meet your true love. As posted by other members, this place is a great way to fill loneliness in your life. Just remember, just like with BDD, you have to learn to focus on other things. Find something else to focus on and you will find its much easier to avoid lurking here. However, if your curiosity gets the best of you, it will make it much harder to do.

 

[Rudiger]

I know this thread has moved way on from this, but I read some things earlier in the week that I wanted to respond to but was on my phone/didn't have time.

You also have a way of talking down to people which is arguably one of the biggest f*** ups you can make socially.

I don't know if @Afro_Vacancy knows of another way of talking to people sometimes. We had major problems when he first joined, and I only remembered it the other week when I was looking for an old post. I know I can be antagonising but it brought back old memories of how f*****g annoying he was, fine we had our battles or whatever but he'd keep needling me with these petty little things for weeks or possibly months after.

I remember mentioning it many times but I cracked when he wrote something particularly petty just for the sake of replying to a post attached to me. It's not like I "observed" anything extraordinary in his traits, it's pretty obvious and from the amount of Likes yours and zircons posts got, I know other people have seen it too. I feel like he thinks he's covert in his tactics of mentioning others or strategically sticking up for certain people when they're debating against others, but acting "above" directly pointing fingers.

This is going back over a year so obviously I can't remember the details, but I latched on to the fact he had yet again mentioned me just for the sake of it. I've seen him do it to others and he often completely loses the debate, because when you're reaching to make a point but there is no point, just simply an excuse to slyly mention someone, you will have little debate to work with from your side.

I think only then did he stop needling at me, and cooled off for a while and then we were fine. Otherwise I firmly believe he'd possibly be holding this grudge to this day. I even get this impression that he's this type of person from what he writes about his actions in real life, I think he holds grudges, I think he can be very petty, and even when being "sincere" he has a way of still trying to gain the upper hand in belittling you.

Away from my old issues with him, I still see him talking down to others repeatedly, sometimes regularly. Recently I saw him back and forth with a guy for 3 pages and then has the gall to write "I'm just about done with this childish stuff" LOL so now he's above it all of a sudden? This is exactly what I remember from the short period we had arguing.

But this point I made about strategically sticking up for people to slyly stab at someone else, I think to a lesser extent @DoctorHouse can do this at times. I genuinely don't think he has real malice but I think he see's someone looking less popular in a debate, and he'll jump in with an asslicking 5 chunky paragraphs about how inspiring the more popular person is.

I bring it up because earlier in this thread he wrote how he has little connection with people on here, and I can't believe that went un-noticed.

This is the guy who told me he had "unconditional love" for me, which jokingly meant or whatever, he has written these frankly outrageously asslicking posts to so many people on here that I keep grabbing the sick bag.

All the while he does get patronising and condescending, but just in a petty way that may be overlooked by others if you aren't paying attention. It makes me think he must be desperate for popularity that he can't be seen to be "monstrous" simply by disagreeing with someone. It's like, this is an anonymous message board, we all have our "characters" on here which can pre-determine how seriously we get taken, but overall, if you disagree with someone, just f*****g say it!

I wonder about these petty people who clearly have strategies they deploy and exactly how to conduct themselves to be as popular as possible, if you are that much of a sap on here, how much of a sap must you be in real life?!

I like when House wrote that he has little connection with people on an internet forum, it was a rare glimpse to an insight of an actual person. I don't read his lengthy praising posts on other members because I wrote after the "unconditional love" comment that he is clearly disingenuous, I still feel like that.

Sorry to everyone to drag it back to all that, but the points I wanted to make have been somewhat stuck somewhere in the back of my head, and I see both posters regularly. I wanted to put it out there, it would be unfair otherwise just because of "timing".

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

I know this thread has moved way on from this, but I read some things earlier in the week that I wanted to respond to but was on my phone/didn't have time.



I don't know if @Afro_Vacancy knows of another way of talking to people sometimes. We had major problems when he first joined, and I only remembered it the other week when I was looking for an old post. I know I can be antagonising but it brought back old memories of how f*****g annoying he was, fine we had our battles or whatever but he'd keep needling me with these petty little things for weeks or possibly months after.

I remember mentioning it many times but I cracked when he wrote something particularly petty just for the sake of replying to a post attached to me. It's not like I "observed" anything extraordinary in his traits, it's pretty obvious and from the amount of Likes yours and zircons posts got, I know other people have seen it too. I feel like he thinks he's covert in his tactics of mentioning others or strategically sticking up for certain people when they're debating against others, but acting "above" directly pointing fingers.

This is going back over a year so obviously I can't remember the details, but I latched on to the fact he had yet again mentioned me just for the sake of it. I've seen him do it to others and he often completely loses the debate, because when you're reaching to make a point but there is no point, just simply an excuse to slyly mention someone, you will have little debate to work with from your side.

I think only then did he stop needling at me, and cooled off for a while and then we were fine. Otherwise I firmly believe he'd possibly be holding this grudge to this day. I even get this impression that he's this type of person from what he writes about his actions in real life, I think he holds grudges, I think he can be very petty, and even when being "sincere" he has a way of still trying to gain the upper hand in belittling you.

Away from my old issues with him, I still see him talking down to others repeatedly, sometimes regularly. Recently I saw him back and forth with a guy for 3 pages and then has the gall to write "I'm just about done with this childish stuff" LOL so now he's above it all of a sudden? This is exactly what I remember from the short period we had arguing.

But this point I made about strategically sticking up for people to slyly stab at someone else, I think to a lesser extent @DoctorHouse can do this at times. I genuinely don't think he has real malice but I think he see's someone looking less popular in a debate, and he'll jump in with an asslicking 5 chunky paragraphs about how inspiring the more popular person is.

I bring it up because earlier in this thread he wrote how he has little connection with people on here, and I can't believe that went un-noticed.

This is the guy who told me he had "unconditional love" for me, which jokingly meant or whatever, he has written these frankly outrageously asslicking posts to so many people on here that I keep grabbing the sick bag.

All the while he does get patronising and condescending, but just in a petty way that may be overlooked by others if you aren't paying attention. It makes me think he must be desperate for popularity that he can't be seen to be "monstrous" simply by disagreeing with someone. It's like, this is an anonymous message board, we all have our "characters" on here which can pre-determine how seriously we get taken, but overall, if you disagree with someone, just f*****g say it!

I wonder about these petty people who clearly have strategies they deploy and exactly how to conduct themselves to be as popular as possible, if you are that much of a sap on here, how much of a sap must you be in real life?!

I like when House wrote that he has little connection with people on an internet forum, it was a rare glimpse to an insight of an actual person. I don't read his lengthy praising posts on other members because I wrote after the "unconditional love" comment that he is clearly disingenuous, I still feel like that.

Sorry to everyone to drag it back to all that, but the points I wanted to make have been somewhat stuck somewhere in the back of my head, and I see both posters regularly. I wanted to put it out there, it would be unfair otherwise just because of "timing".

Precisely why I'm losing interest in the the forum.

Here's our history as I remember. When I joined the forum (might have been a little after) you and I had many arguments that were based in philosophical differences, you were relatively more blue pill, I was relatively more red pill. I remember it as you and jd against the whole forum. We stopped arguing when I changed my mind. You yourself are very different for that matter as well. I think you're also a lot more red pilled than you used to be.

With respect to me disagreeing with people, I do so regularly and explicitly, for example in this post. I'm surprised that you to hold a grudge for over a year like this. The history you wrote is incorrect. It sucks of you to bring up somebody's real life struggles against them, as a weapon.

I've learned my lesson (not just from you), I'll no longer be mentioning non-trivial real-life anecdotes here.

You accuse me of holding grudges, but for whatever it's worth I've held nothing against you. All of my responses to you in the past six months or however long are sincerely positive and curious. When I think of you, I think of our recent discussions on food and fitness. I considered our issues resolved. I was wrong.

Your post for whatever it's worth your post is quite different from Dench 's post. The purpose of your post is to vent some viciousness, his was to be constructive.

You accuse me of being covert in my tactics, but you spent a year playing nice, waiting until the right time to beat on me when I was down.

 

[Rudiger]

Precisely why I'm losing interest in the the forum.

Here's our history as I remember. When I joined the forum (might have been a little after) you and I had many arguments that were based in philosophical differences, you were relatively more blue pill, I was relatively more red pill. I remember it as you and jd against the whole forum. We stopped arguing when I changed my mind. You yourself are very different for that matter as well. I think you're also a lot more red pilled than you used to be.

With respect to me disagreeing with people, I do so regularly and explicitly, for example in this post. I'm surprised that you to hold a grudge for over a year like this. It sucks of you to bring up somebody's real life struggles against them, as a weapon.

I've learned my lesson (not just from you), I'll no longer be mentioning non-trivial real-life anecdotes here.

You accuse me of holding grudges, but for whatever it's worth I've held nothing against you. All of my responses to you in the past six months or however long are sincerely positive and curious. When I think of you, I think of our recent discussions on food and fitness. I considered our issues resolved. I was wrong.

Your post for whatever it's worth your post is quite different from Dench 's post. The purpose of your post is to vent some viciousness, his was to be constructive.

You accuse me of being covert in my tactics, but you spent a year playing nice, waiting until the right time to beat on me when I was down.

I didn't hold the grudge for a year, like I mentioned I only remembered all this from a few weeks ago when I looked up an old post. Then it started clicking with me how you behave with others, and this thread brought it up further. I haven't been on here as much in the last fortnight.

I can hold conversations with people and not have to dig at them for past disagreements, I'm not "playing nice" since I realised the past issues we had, I'm simply talking to you.

I honestly don't think you'd understand this thought process. If you hold something against someone, it sticks and you don't make polite conversation grudge-free, you make false kick-starter conversations to get in little sly digs. This is honestly how you operate...

And of course I knew you'd react like a victim. There's no doubt you've displayed some pettiness and grudges from real life experiences, and often an inferiority complex as well. Whether you think I'm using it as a weapon or not, I don't give a f***, that's how I've seen the reality of things from your attitude, you should really look at that as well instead of just pointing the finger at me. After all I'm massively irrelevant, but the way you are and attitudes you hold to take forward in future will shape it.

With most people I could say that I hope my words are waking them up as to how they are, but I guess with you it was entirely pointless, with criticism you go into a shell of defensiveness.

Regardless, this was constructive, while I feel at heart it's unlikely you'll change, at least you know it's been noted- how you behave to others is all about superiority, pretentiousness, bitterness, all while trying to hold up this facade as an impeccably logical poster. While you can be very logical, you step outside the bounds to make points on people you are still holding your grudge against, and this results in scrambling desperately.

Like I insinuated before I still feel you'd have held a much lengthier grudge against me if I hadn't openly exposed what you were doing and called you out for it, that shut it down. And you were needling for no other reason than to mention me and hope I reacted. Me shutting it down ended the grudge, not your decision to.

As far as "beating you when down" I'm not one to gang up on people, and at times have been arguing with a handful of them, so I find this a ridiculous coping mechanism. "He's only criticising me because others are".

Nope! You have some bad qualities, and there's no other way of bringing this up softly but being direct about it. Hopefully it is constructive criticism but that is dependent on how the recipient takes it, and I feel you're just going to see this as "forget h.l. he's just being vicious h.l as always".

Side note: I've been one of the few people on here who consistently remained around the same ideology as when I started. I'm not "blue pilled" or "red pilled" as both are ridiculous and so are the people who identify with either. Look at my posts from when I started and I was saying the exact same thing, looks are highly important but from there personality has to make a difference. In certain cases personality can make a difference but these are rare and not worth really bringing up as anecdotal evidence as jd_uk consistently did (a vital difference between me and him).

 

[CaptainForehead]

Relevant at this point:

 

[DoctorHouse]

I know this thread has moved way on from this, but I read some things earlier in the week that I wanted to respond to but was on my phone/didn't have time.



I don't know if @Afro_Vacancy knows of another way of talking to people sometimes. We had major problems when he first joined, and I only remembered it the other week when I was looking for an old post. I know I can be antagonising but it brought back old memories of how f*****g annoying he was, fine we had our battles or whatever but he'd keep needling me with these petty little things for weeks or possibly months after.

I remember mentioning it many times but I cracked when he wrote something particularly petty just for the sake of replying to a post attached to me. It's not like I "observed" anything extraordinary in his traits, it's pretty obvious and from the amount of Likes yours and zircons posts got, I know other people have seen it too. I feel like he thinks he's covert in his tactics of mentioning others or strategically sticking up for certain people when they're debating against others, but acting "above" directly pointing fingers.

This is going back over a year so obviously I can't remember the details, but I latched on to the fact he had yet again mentioned me just for the sake of it. I've seen him do it to others and he often completely loses the debate, because when you're reaching to make a point but there is no point, just simply an excuse to slyly mention someone, you will have little debate to work with from your side.

I think only then did he stop needling at me, and cooled off for a while and then we were fine. Otherwise I firmly believe he'd possibly be holding this grudge to this day. I even get this impression that he's this type of person from what he writes about his actions in real life, I think he holds grudges, I think he can be very petty, and even when being "sincere" he has a way of still trying to gain the upper hand in belittling you.

Away from my old issues with him, I still see him talking down to others repeatedly, sometimes regularly. Recently I saw him back and forth with a guy for 3 pages and then has the gall to write "I'm just about done with this childish stuff" LOL so now he's above it all of a sudden? This is exactly what I remember from the short period we had arguing.

But this point I made about strategically sticking up for people to slyly stab at someone else, I think to a lesser extent @DoctorHouse can do this at times. I genuinely don't think he has real malice but I think he see's someone looking less popular in a debate, and he'll jump in with an asslicking 5 chunky paragraphs about how inspiring the more popular person is.

I bring it up because earlier in this thread he wrote how he has little connection with people on here, and I can't believe that went un-noticed.

This is the guy who told me he had "unconditional love" for me, which jokingly meant or whatever, he has written these frankly outrageously asslicking posts to so many people on here that I keep grabbing the sick bag.

All the while he does get patronising and condescending, but just in a petty way that may be overlooked by others if you aren't paying attention. It makes me think he must be desperate for popularity that he can't be seen to be "monstrous" simply by disagreeing with someone. It's like, this is an anonymous message board, we all have our "characters" on here which can pre-determine how seriously we get taken, but overall, if you disagree with someone, just f*****g say it!

I wonder about these petty people who clearly have strategies they deploy and exactly how to conduct themselves to be as popular as possible, if you are that much of a sap on here, how much of a sap must you be in real life?!

I like when House wrote that he has little connection with people on an internet forum, it was a rare glimpse to an insight of an actual person. I don't read his lengthy praising posts on other members because I wrote after the "unconditional love" comment that he is clearly disingenuous, I still feel like that.

Sorry to everyone to drag it back to all that, but the points I wanted to make have been somewhat stuck somewhere in the back of my head, and I see both posters regularly. I wanted to put it out there, it would be unfair otherwise just because of "timing".

I agree that I can come off as condescending and patronizing. But it is never my intention. I have observed the same actions with you too so don't think you are an angel. I will admit I have a people pleasing complex so I may show my appreciation or praise of some posters but since I don't have any real connection to people here, I can tell you my intention was not to *** lick. But if you want to call it that, you can. The problem with this world is people love to focus on the negative in people instead of the positive. Please feel free to put me on ignore at any time.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

I didn't hold the grudge for a year, like I mentioned I only remembered all this from a few weeks ago when I looked up an old post. Then it started clicking with me how you behave with others, and this thread brought it up further. I haven't been on here as much in the last fortnight.

I can hold conversations with people and not have to dig at them for past disagreements, I'm not "playing nice" since I realised the past issues we had, I'm simply talking to you.

I honestly don't think you'd understand this thought process. If you hold something against someone, it sticks and you don't make polite conversation grudge-free, you make false kick-starter conversations to get in little sly digs. This is honestly how you operate...

And of course I knew you'd react like a victim. There's no doubt you've displayed some pettiness and grudges from real life experiences, and often an inferiority complex as well. Whether you think I'm using it as a weapon or not, I don't give a f***, that's how I've seen the reality of things from your attitude, you should really look at that as well instead of just pointing the finger at me. After all I'm massively irrelevant, but the way you are and attitudes you hold to take forward in future will shape it.

With most people I could say that I hope my words are waking them up as to how they are, but I guess with you it was entirely pointless, with criticism you go into a shell of defensiveness.

Regardless, this was constructive, while I feel at heart it's unlikely you'll change, at least you know it's been noted- how you behave to others is all about superiority, pretentiousness, bitterness, all while trying to hold up this facade as an impeccably logical poster. While you can be very logical, you step outside the bounds to make points on people you are still holding your grudge against, and this results in scrambling desperately.

Like I insinuated before I still feel you'd have held a much lengthier grudge against me if I hadn't openly exposed what you were doing and called you out for it, that shut it down. And you were needling for no other reason than to mention me and hope I reacted. Me shutting it down ended the grudge, not your decision to.

As far as "beating you when down" I'm not one to gang up on people, and at times have been arguing with a handful of them, so I find this a ridiculous coping mechanism. "He's only criticising me because others are".

Nope! You have some bad qualities, and there's no other way of bringing this up softly but being direct about it. Hopefully it is constructive criticism but that is dependent on how the recipient takes it, and I feel you're just going to see this as "forget h.l. he's just being vicious h.l as always".

Side note: I've been one of the few people on here who consistently remained around the same ideology as when I started. I'm not "blue pilled" or "red pilled" as both are ridiculous and so are the people who identify with either. Look at my posts from when I started and I was saying the exact same thing, looks are highly important but from there personality has to make a difference. In certain cases personality can make a difference but these are rare and not worth really bringing up as anecdotal evidence as jd_uk consistently did (a vital difference between me and him).

Ok lol.

Don't insult me by lying. You're not doing this to offer constructive criticism. See Dench's post for an example of how to do that. If you were you wouldn't be spewing invective and insults like a drunk Mel Gibson at a synagogue. You're doing this to vent your anger because it makes you feel good to do so. You're letting off steam.

To reiterate, I had completely moved on from our arguments, which ended around June of 2016. I read your post this morning and I was like "where the f*** did that come from?" I get it now, you had in fact not let go (which surprised me) and you spent a year waiting for the right opportunity.

I have learned a lot from this exchange. I was very mistaken in believing that you had moved on as well. I misjudged you severely. You're initiating an unprovoked fight, you're bringing up events that plausibly never happened in the first place, and you're kicking someone when they're down. It's not how I would have described you yesterday, I gave you more credit than you're worth, and that's my biggest failing here. I overestimated your character? Do I do that a lot?

You spend a lot of time discussing other people's faults but I don't see you acknowledging your own.

You say that you're not one to gang up on somebody, but you just did and so yes you are. For all of my faults, I've never spent an entire year playing nice with someone on a message board while ruminating on a plan to strike back at them when the opportunity presented itself.

 

[hairblues]

100% agree. You always show great insight, david, especially in reading people and seeing them for what they are.


s.

Really?

So why is he PM ing me other day out of blue, in some confused weird Pm as if he is bewildered 'what happened?' in our interaction and cant read the situation clearly.

Give me a break Dante he is NOT good at reading people or situations and you don't do him a service by stroking his ego purely because you like the guy.

He has faults with relating to both people and situations.

 

[SmoothSailing]

I didn't hold the grudge for a year, like I mentioned I only remembered all this from a few weeks ago when I looked up an old post. Then it started clicking with me how you behave with others, and this thread brought it up further. I haven't been on here as much in the last fortnight.

I can hold conversations with people and not have to dig at them for past disagreements, I'm not "playing nice" since I realised the past issues we had, I'm simply talking to you.

I honestly don't think you'd understand this thought process. If you hold something against someone, it sticks and you don't make polite conversation grudge-free, you make false kick-starter conversations to get in little sly digs. This is honestly how you operate...

And of course I knew you'd react like a victim. There's no doubt you've displayed some pettiness and grudges from real life experiences, and often an inferiority complex as well. Whether you think I'm using it as a weapon or not, I don't give a f***, that's how I've seen the reality of things from your attitude, you should really look at that as well instead of just pointing the finger at me. After all I'm massively irrelevant, but the way you are and attitudes you hold to take forward in future will shape it.

With most people I could say that I hope my words are waking them up as to how they are, but I guess with you it was entirely pointless, with criticism you go into a shell of defensiveness.

Regardless, this was constructive, while I feel at heart it's unlikely you'll change, at least you know it's been noted- how you behave to others is all about superiority, pretentiousness, bitterness, all while trying to hold up this facade as an impeccably logical poster. While you can be very logical, you step outside the bounds to make points on people you are still holding your grudge against, and this results in scrambling desperately.

Like I insinuated before I still feel you'd have held a much lengthier grudge against me if I hadn't openly exposed what you were doing and called you out for it, that shut it down. And you were needling for no other reason than to mention me and hope I reacted. Me shutting it down ended the grudge, not your decision to.

As far as "beating you when down" I'm not one to gang up on people, and at times have been arguing with a handful of them, so I find this a ridiculous coping mechanism. "He's only criticising me because others are".

Nope! You have some bad qualities, and there's no other way of bringing this up softly but being direct about it. Hopefully it is constructive criticism but that is dependent on how the recipient takes it, and I feel you're just going to see this as "forget h.l. he's just being vicious h.l as always".

Side note: I've been one of the few people on here who consistently remained around the same ideology as when I started. I'm not "blue pilled" or "red pilled" as both are ridiculous and so are the people who identify with either. Look at my posts from when I started and I was saying the exact same thing, looks are highly important but from there personality has to make a difference. In certain cases personality can make a difference but these are rare and not worth really bringing up as anecdotal evidence as jd_uk consistently did (a vital difference between me and him).

All of this aside, I really like that you always say what you mean, regardless of how it will be taken by the forum or particular members.

David is one of my favorite posters here, despite whatever faults he has. I think a lot of people could do with a lesson in how to lose arguments, or at least ending it in an agreement to disagree.

I have huge respect for people who can actually lose an argument and admit where they went wrong, but it's extremely rare, especially on the internet.

 

[Dante92]

Really?

So why is he PM ing me other day out of blue, in some confused weird Pm as if he is bewildered 'what happened?' in our interaction and cant read the situation clearly.

Give me a break Dante he is NOT good at reading people or situations and you don't do him a service by stroking his ego purely because you like the guy.

He has faults with relating to both people and situations.

I never said he's always right, merely that he always shows insight; I call him out when he writes something which I disagree with or find absurd (e.g. in attraction and relationships). In this context, however, he's correct.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

All of this aside, I really like that you always say what you mean, regardless of how it will be taken by the forum or particular members.

David is one of my favorite posters here, despite whatever faults he has. I think a lot of people could do with a lesson in how to lose arguments, or at least ending it in an agreement to disagree.

I have huge respect for people who can actually lose an argument and admit where they went wrong, but it's extremely rare, especially on the internet.

Thank you.

You're one of my preferred posters here too, even though you're not that active here anymore.

Years ago I read a book which recommended, among other things, acknowledging when one is mistaken. It argued that even the best people can only hope to be right 60% of the time (which is nobody's natural instinct, we all expect to be right 100% of the time). The benefit of doing so, I think, is that it builds modesty and cements learning experiences, at a minimum.

 

[hairblues]

I never said he's always right, merely that he always shows insight; I call him out when he writes something which I disagree with or find absurd (e.g. in attraction and relationships). In this context, however, he's correct.

you are inaccurate about how he reads both people and situations on the forum.

multiple people in essence are saying same thing to him--some are saying it gentler than others but the basic message is same.

he would do better to just process it. Not pretend he is not doing these things repeatedly.

 

[CaptainForehead]

Really?

So why is he PM ing me other day out of blue, in some confused weird Pm as if he is bewildered 'what happened?' in our interaction and cant read the situation clearly.

Didn't you say the other day that PMs were sacred?

 

[CaptainForehead]

Years ago I read a book which recommended, among other things, acknowledging when one is mistaken. It argued that even the best people can only hope to be right 60% of the time (which is nobody's natural instinct, we all expect to be right 100% of the time). The benefit of doing so, I think, is that it builds modesty and cements learning experiences, at a minimum.

Which book? Is it any good?

Any other book recommendations?

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Which book? Is it any good?

Any other book recommendations?

How to Win Friends and Influence People, buy the modern edition. It's got plenty of good advice in there, such as the importance of acknowledging mistakes.

I recently read The Like Switch which a forum member here recommended, it has good advice as well but I wasn't in as much of a mood to digest it. It has *a lot* of technical information on how to read body language.

After that I have a few unread books in my library. There's a book on autism, a biography of Barack Obama, and The Naked Ape by Desmond Morris. I'm not sure which I'm going to pick up.

What have you been reading lately?

 

[Dench57]

Didn't you say the other day that PMs were sacred?

think she said pics shared via PM were sacred wrt the Tellersquill thing

 

[Rudiger]

I agree that I can come off as condescending and patronizing. But it is never my intention. I have observed the same actions with you too so don't think you are an angel. I will admit I have a people pleasing complex so I may show my appreciation or praise of some posters but since I don't have any real connection to people here, I can tell you my intention was not to *** lick. But if you want to call it that, you can. The problem with this world is people love to focus on the negative in people instead of the positive. Please feel free to put me on ignore at any time.

If I'm being condescending and patronising it's normally while explicitly revealing everything I think, not shadowing it behind backhanded compliments.

As I said before your timing of "people pleasing" if often very suspicious, in the middle of a debate between 2 people for example- "well golly gee those 2 sure are giving each other hell, maybe I'll pour some oil on it by showering praise on one of them, out of absolutely nowhere".

We've had forum members who are genuinely positive about life and I don't consider that "asslicking" as it comes from a genuine place (I.D. Walker comes to mind) but with your little jibes, jilts, strategically placed compliments, you can say you don't focus on the negative, only because you don't put it out there.

Ok lol.

Don't insult me by lying. You're not doing this to offer constructive criticism. See Dench's post for an example of how to do that. If you were you wouldn't be spewing invective and insults like a drunk Mel Gibson at a synagogue. You're doing this to vent your anger because it makes you feel good to do so. You're letting off steam.

To reiterate, I had completely moved on from our arguments, which ended around June of 2016. I read your post this morning and I was like "where the f*** did that come from?" I get it now, you had in fact not let go (which surprised me) and you spent a year waiting for the right opportunity.

I have learned a lot from this exchange. I was very mistaken in believing that you had moved on as well. I misjudged you severely. You're initiating an unprovoked fight, you're bringing up events that plausibly never happened in the first place, and you're kicking someone when they're down. It's not how I would have described you yesterday, I gave you more credit than you're worth, and that's my biggest failing here. I overestimated your character? Do I do that a lot?

You spend a lot of time discussing other people's faults but I don't see you acknowledging your own.

You say that you're not one to gang up on somebody, but you just did and so yes you are. For all of my faults, I've never spent an entire year playing nice with someone on a message board while ruminating on a plan to strike back at them when the opportunity presented itself.

f*****g hell, "drunk Mel Gibson at a synagogue" is exactly what I mean by winking at the "audience".

Anyway, I revealed my experience of how you were to me, and I see traits in that with how you act to others. I thought about not even mentioning our past issues but then my point would be based on little anecdotes I'm pulling from recent threads (such as you telling a guy your 3 page argument is suddenly "childish") and also that involves other people who may not want to be involved.

I was there, I know what you're like, and it does annoy me when I see you acting above other people or questioning for them, or just slyly jumping into a situation because they're involved and you hold a vendetta. Zircon and Dench touched on a lot of things but not everything I identify with, and that's why I just had to add this, because you'll just keep acting like that, thinking your little sly stabs and oddly placed contributions go un-noticed.

It may not be constructive criticism to make you a better person, but at least it'll make you think twice next time.

And no, it didn't feel good and I didn't want to write it, I thought about writing it two days ago and decided no, then yesterday again, and today I thought y'know what, others were right about most things but not everything, this has to be included. There were other things that annoyed me with how this played out (being offended at being called autistic when you've written you are, only countless times) but I felt that it had already been covered, so I focused on the things that nobody had mentioned which affected me a long while ago, and may potentially effect others going forward. It's annoying to see, it's annoying for others, and if I can do anything to stop it then at least I tried.

I didn't wait for any opportunity, I had completely forgotten about it, seeing an old post a few weeks ago brought it back because we were giving each other hell and I honestly couldn't remember this, so I went down that road. I remember the post where you finally needled me too far yet again, and I lost it and pointed out what you were continuously doing, and you didn't reply. From there you cooled off. It was not your decision to stop, it was an embarrassment of knowing you were intentionally digging at me and thinking it hadn't been noticed.

Unlike your claim in a PM, your change of "ideology" had nothing to do with why we stopped fighting, that was at least a few months after we stopped. (also you may not ever discuss PM's on here but I don't follow the same rule religiously, and in certain situations it's relevant, but I'm not including anyone else here)

If I hadn't have put together all the reasons you were slyly behaving as you were, who knows how long it would have continued.

As far as "playing nice" for a year, I was genuine when I gave compliments on how you're bettering yourself in different ways, but over time it's become clear you do feel this odd superiority over others, even if you admit such basic faults as aesthetics being average or having unsuccessful dates.

You haven't looked at the real picture, you do hold petty grudges over those and I wonder if you even realise it. Admitting that to yourself instead of putting it down to my temperament or my "ganging up" is another, much more difficult thing.

I think this ties in to your claim as to how I apparently "play nice" with you and also the petty grudges I've seen from your real life self, translating into this forum:

https://www.hairlosstalk.com/intera...lures-with-women.105120/page-322#post-1502783

(and the posts that followed, one of which I basically called you a nutcase). Harassing a woman just to prove a point is exactly the type of behaviour that ties in to how you behave here.

I've admitted my faults and at times have apologised to others when I've gone too far. Months ago I was overly self-deprecating and feeling narcissistic to the point where even my own good intentions were selfish because I was doing it to feel good about myself. Some of these things were over the top, but I was going through a phase of really examining myself. I've thrown my hands up at different times and admitted I was being ridiculous, in one of the old posts I went through you half-assedly admitted starting an argument with me, but still put plenty of the onus on myself for a previous argument leading to your reaction in a different thread. This is as close as you get to an "apology", and I could tell from how you wrote it, that it killed you to admit any liability.

OK anyway, keep putting it down to "ganging up" on you, even though this is oddly one of the only times I've felt compelled to jump in when others already have (funny that, isn't it?). Keep calling these past experiences dubious even though other posters have written about it, some who would never usually write about another poster in such detail, and keep denying this is still your mentality, and tell yourself holding grudges is justified if you feel hurt by someone in the past.

But you just aren't doing yourself any favours in the long run. That is all.

I never said he's always right, merely that he always shows insight; I call him out when he writes something which I disagree with or find absurd (e.g. in attraction and relationships). In this context, however, he's correct.

If you want a "gang stalker" ask the guy who jumped in every single time I argued with someone to say "He's not worth it, move on, he hates incels" until I eventually pointed out that it was ironic he gets so hurt by "bullies" when it's being pretty hypocritical.

If I consistently jumped in any time someone had a problem with David then fine, it could be said I'm "ganging up on him", but this was the first time I really felt I had to do it and will be the last.

Dante you've previously admitted you probably have a bias against good looking people and you've painted me exactly how you want to out of pure frustration with your life, so your opinion on me isn't valid basically. You would pretty much agree with any point someone is making against me.

All of this aside, I really like that you always say what you mean, regardless of how it will be taken by the forum or particular members.

David is one of my favorite posters here, despite whatever faults he has. I think a lot of people could do with a lesson in how to lose arguments, or at least ending it in an agreement to disagree.

I have huge respect for people who can actually lose an argument and admit where they went wrong, but it's extremely rare, especially on the internet.

Thanks. I mean sometimes I pretend it's always easy to say what you feel on this "little forum", but in cases like this situation it really wasn't, and I haven't gotten any enjoyment out of it. I do feel a compulsion at some point to eventually feel what needs to be said, even if it's uncomfortable viewing, even if it's likely it won't get anyone anywhere, well least I tried. This applies to real life as well, but obviously not a fraction as much as my free wheeling on here.

I have mentioned apologising in debates but I'll admit this is still extremely rare indeed, for me as well. That actually feels the best though, even if you somewhat dislike what a person is saying in the heat of the moment, to take a step back and realise you're both butting heads, and just say sorry, if they say the same back (doesn't always happen) then that's the best you can really get on here.

 

[hairblues]

Didn't you say the other day that PMs were sacred?

think she said pics shared via PM were sacred wrt the Tellersquill thing

This.

I feel like you want to call me out as a hypocrite.

Lets be clear..David sent me a PM long time ago that I NEVER revealed and never will because sent when we got along.

New PMs from someone I dont consider a friend anymore--who I feel really has maligned me on forum--no they are not wanted and they are not 'sacred'.

I still respect the old PM he sent me I will never reveal that here but since we fight any new PMs? no thats stupid logic.

 

[CopeForLife]

All of this aside, I really like that you always say what you mean, regardless of how it will be taken by the forum or particular members.

David is one of my favorite posters here, despite whatever faults he has. I think a lot of people could do with a lesson in how to lose arguments, or at least ending it in an agreement to disagree.

I have huge respect for people who can actually lose an argument and admit where they went wrong, but it's extremely rare, especially on the internet.

Rudilger became very quality member after he changed his name from h.l..

Nevertheless, I still do not read his walls of text