was in a good mood

[Exodus2011]

alcohol makes me sad as **** in general. i'm ready to punch out some norwood 1s or cry when i'm drunk.

i prefer the heavenly green angel. she is the one for me :inlove:

hard to care about baldness when i'm busy hearing a beautiful synthesizer and imagining i'm traveling through the crab nebula

 

[2bald2young]

I think I really suffer from a confidence problem that could be corrected if I was more confident in my abilities.

I've already had positive outcomes many, many times, even as a bald man, and even when the odds seemed stacked against me.

But I can't help but feeling inadequate most of the time in social situations or when I'm after a girl.

Maybe we all have that to a degree and I'm just being too hard on myself?

We all know that baldness is seen as something very negative and we even saw proof of how people and the media like to ridicule it. So I see it like this.

Because that is negative outside feedback it kind of compensated a bit with your accomplishment and therefore damaging your confidence.

You just responded like most human beings. Of course this is all pure speculation.

 

[swingline747]

Maybe it's the influence of the media. There are many situations where I ask myself "this wouldn't be possible in a chick flick, therefore something is wrong."

If I'm influenced so much by the culture I try not to pay attention to, imagine how women must feel and think.

Recently, my girlfriend came back from a romantic movie called "The Longest Ride". She said that all the girls at the theater thought the lead actor was so perfect and romantic.

Well, the lead actor is only the son of Clint Eastwood, and he has perfect looks. My girlfriend could tell a guy like this wouldn't exist in real life and that his reactions were unrealistic.

But most girls don't pick up on that. Threy think what they see is the truth and they will want to have what they see on the screen in real life. One variable is missing and they're frustrated.

So, you're balding? Forget it, you don't look like Scott Eastwood! Game over, she deserves the best and only the best, sorry if she was honest, hair is just a preference, Nicholas Spark's preference.

I dont think its the media's influence on people but peoples influence on media.
Most of the people making this crap are not super hunk guys so they have NO other interest in promoting the stigma aside they KNOW the majority of people already feel this way so its easy money to be made.
Even if they made a chic flick where the guy was bald its not like women would all of a sudden want a bald guy. In fact I am pretty sure it would do dismal numbers.

Again look at the Strain. If they left the lead hero bald they KNOW no one would take it serious because a bald guy couldnt be a super intellect take charge guy people would follow. They gave him hair so he would be better looking and someone people could root for.

 

[swingline747]

You'd be surprised to how women can be manipulated to think they like something.

You didn't have it in the US, but in Belgium and France, we had the World Cup 98 of football.

At that time, you'd have a lot of bald players (Zidane, Barthez) in the French national team.

France won the world cup and guess what, all of a sudden women started to love the bald look and dating bald guys.

That era is over now, we have to mention it on French forums because people still think it's 1998-2002. That ship has sailed, women hate bald men again.

It was good while it lasted and a lot of bald guys took advantage of that trend. So you see, it can happen. Women will like something because it's in the air.

If they started to promote reasonably attractive bald men in chick flicks and those were successful, a lot of women would swoon to bald men just because they've just seen a successful bald man on TV.

Like they saw successful football players who had no hair in 1998 and started to swoon over bald men.

It was a first in history and helped a lot to clear the "nazi skinhead" stigma attached to baldness before 98.

I dont think that would happen here.
Like if 50 shades of grey used bald cory stoll or billy zane I dont think it would have been half as popular. The movie would have went from an exotic drama sexual thriller to a rich bald guy exploiting some poor young girl.

 

[Wolf Pack]

I dont think its the media's influence on people but peoples influence on media.
Most of the people making this crap are not super hunk guys so they have NO other interest in promoting the stigma aside they KNOW the majority of people already feel this way so its easy money to be made.
Even if they made a chic flick where the guy was bald its not like women would all of a sudden want a bald guy. In fact I am pretty sure it would do dismal numbers.

Again look at the Strain. If they left the lead hero bald they KNOW no one would take it serious because a bald guy couldnt be a super intellect take charge guy people would follow. They gave him hair so he would be better looking and someone people could root for.

I've been saying this for so long on here, it's common sense. If they make a female bald actress as a lead, will I start to not desire women with long thick hair? Attraction is innate, it really is.

 

[Wolf Pack]

It mostly is, and guess what, bald men are attractive to some women. They are.

Come on, I've just come back from a holiday in Spain and have seen tons of bald men with hot women.

The problem is the hate against bald men you see in the media, telling women what they should find attractive and unattractive.

It makes the bald men who would have had a chance with some women lose their chance.

They're attracted to them but bummer, they've just seen 50 Shades of Grey the week before, and Christian didn't sport a bald head, did he?

Attraction is innate, even to bald men, but the response to this attraction is often distorted by the media.

And you can't possibly say that all bald men are always unattractive to all women. Because that would be simply denying the reality.

I never said all bald men are unattractive to women! I am sure some women do have a bald fetish, like how some women like a fat guy or short guy. But this generally goes against the norm. You lose big points if you can't sport a hairstyle, it takes your features right out of balance and you look like a faceless clone. You do see some good looking bald guys but this is pretty much not seen.

It is not surprising to see bald men in relationships. Like I have previously said, bald men can get into relationships, they just have to work harder and we don't know the full story. Did they get together before he was bald? Is the girl actually hot? Does she have emotional baggage or kids? Is the bald guy rich? Was he the first choice? Will he able to remain with her? And so on.

I've seen it with my own eyes and on dating shows here, bald guys get rejected straight up by them all. Only blacks can pull off the bald look aesthetically in the real world.

Every girl I have trusted from family to friends to gfs, finds baldness ugly. It's actually way more of a killer than average height, average look, average body.

A Knight in English culture was seen with thick hair and a pretty girl because even back then the women romanticised men like that. It goes far back, much before the modern world took over with the internet, magazines and movies.

 

[swingline747]

It mostly is, and guess what, bald men are attractive to some women. They are.

Come on, I've just come back from a holiday in Spain and have seen tons of bald men with hot women.

The problem is the hate against bald men you see in the media, telling women what they should find attractive and unattractive.

It makes the bald men who would have had a chance with some women lose their chance.

They're attracted to them but bummer, they've just seen 50 Shades of Grey the week before, and Christian didn't sport a bald head, did he?

Attraction is innate, even to bald men, but the response to this attraction is often distorted by the media.

And you can't possibly say that all bald men are always unattractive to all women. Because that would be simply denying the reality.

Even in NY I saw some pretty girls with bald goofy dudes. I dont think its they are attracted to bald men per say but just that guy grew on them. They were probably introduced or knew each other through a group of friends or maybe even a mutual interest. I dont think he approached her in a club and she was woo'd instantly lol.

On average the bald guy is viewed as less attractive, less healthy, less successful and all around less sought after if others are not available.

 

[Wolf Pack]

Women notice so many things in a guy, really small things, you're telling me they don't notice there is no hair or a limited amount on someone's head? I think these girls are deliberately being sensitive around you, makes sense.

I hate bald men and self hatred? When did I say that? I said it is ugly from an attraction pov. Hate is completely different and a stronger word. I don't hate anyone regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, hair no hair! If I go bald, I will remain grounded in reality. That I now look way worse than before - I will accept my fate and compensate if I can. I definitely won't be deluded and make out I look better now and women love it. That's slybaldguys.

I'm a pretty damn good judge of things I am told. My mum is Greek remember, and she also finds it unacceptable in terms of having a partner with it. It's also not because she is worried society will judge her for being with a bald guy or anything so complicated, it's more simpler. Same for my gf and sister. That they like thick full hair, playing with it, the way it balances your face when you have a good hairstyle, giving you a unique identity and personal touch and so on. Makes you look human.

I've also partied in Spain and Cyprus in the past, mainly I see guys with hair doing well with the girls or in cool circles, like girls giving attention themselves. The only bald Caucasians I see getting hit on by girls are meathead bouncers.

A while back I got hit on by a girl via her friend on a night out, she goes she likes the way I look and is wondering my origin. This isn't even a big deal really but now picture me with no hair on my head, would this have happened? It's the single most thing which visibly changes you. Not the odd wrinkle if you have any, not losing 1 inch in height, not having a slight belly. Looks are most key (with hair).

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Even in NY I saw some pretty girls with bald goofy dudes. I dont think its they are attracted to bald men per say but just that guy grew on them. They were probably introduced or knew each other through a group of friends or maybe even a mutual interest. I dont think he approached her in a club and she was woo'd instantly lol.

On average the bald guy is viewed as less attractive, less healthy, less successful and all around less sought after if others are not available.

I agree here too. Like I mentioned, they have to work harder and a girl can grow to like you over time. It will be one of those, "I didn't think anything at the start but he is so adorable and caring." Not to mention, he is almost like a safety blanket as well in that he will be/should be more reliable. The girl might truly love him, fair play. Or she could be settling.

 

[hellouser]

There hasn't been a bald guy on SNL in 20 years, the last high level norwood was David Koechner:

 

[Wolf Pack]

My gf likes clooney, but would she like this Clooney. It's just hair right? She just needs to not listen to the media? Even a "frame of hair" would screw his features up.

 

[swingline747]

All girls say they want the perfect man with a full head of hair bla bla bla. Yet you see an awful lot of women going out with men that are bald and fat.

It hasn't been stated enough, don't listen to what women say, ever. They almost always lie. Even when they seem to tell the truth, because it's harsh somehow.

Watch what they do, observe what happens around you, reality. And reality is that yes, bald men may have to work a little harder, but it's almost never a deal breaker.

Women pretend they only want the best, but the best is not always available (for a relationship that is), so of course a lot of them end up with bald men.

Bald men they supposedly would never date because "they like to play with their man's hair". BS. Women say one thing and do another.

Now for one-night-stands it might be different. Or not in fact, because I clearly remember having a lot of one-night-stands as a bald guy.

And if you say it's because of my height, you will be proving my point, that baldness is not a deal-breaker when it comes to attraction.

This was socially-engineered. Toms confirms that the self-hatred is present even among the balding men brotherhood. That's quite sad.

Im not sure sometimes if you are 4 people sharing an account. It seems one week you tell stories how you are berated at bars, turned down by women, have girls tell you outright they dont like you bald then make a 180 and start preaching how bald guys get girls.

You are right a bald guy can get a wife. Thats not the point. Ive always said that. A bald guy can buy his way into an attractive girls heart even. The issue is you will never have the same animalistic relationship you would if you were a better looking guy with hair.
Now again I only go with my own experience because Im not you. Im not Toms, Im not Exodus. Im me and can see how as my hair has fallen, my standing with women has as well. I do NOT get the same attention, I dont even get the same opportunity to present my personality because they just WILL NOT talk to me. I still get some girls flirting but nothing I would go for personally. I can see how when Im with my brother or friends Im looked RIGHT THROUGH where I used to be in the front.

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There hasn't been a bald guy on SNL in 20 years, the last high level norwood was David Koechner:

he was just in an episode of "the goldbergs" where he was fighting with the dad in the principals office. They were throwing jabs and the only real jab being thrown back was "well youre bald"..... meanwhile the guy playing the principal is also bald so .....

 

[swingline747]

I guess there is a middle ground to all this. All I'm saying is: don't overlook the major influence of the media on women's decisions. This also based on my own experiences with women.

And remember that contrary to you, Wolf Pack, or Toms, I've been actually legit bald. None of you have been in that position, so until you are, you're just speculating on what it would be like.

When I've been rejected by women, they said things like "bald men are not my type" out of the blue after talking to me and showing interest (online).

They had to make the conscious effort of rejecting me based on my baldness. It wasn't a gut reaction, because I think it almost doesn't exist if you take care of yourself to a minimum.

I call this "waking up". It can happen immediately, or a few weeks into the relationship. The girl will realize she's dating a bald guy, which is said to be inferior by the media and society.

But they were attracted to me initially, so sometimes, you get the attraction, make them even go crazy over you, but they eventually "wake up", because they were taught to hate baldness.

I wont doubt maybe the media reinforces some of the inert things they feel already but its people and their views that make the media. I think of it more as that nagging friend in the back of their head, than some swaying pocket watch hypnotizing them. The media didnt "invent" that bald guys are less attractive, its just how people feel. Perhaps yours was just one of those situation where she thought she could look past it but then realized not, or worse she just found a NOT bald guy started showing some interest in her. Maybe she "settled" on you until something better appeared. There are of course a MILLION whats ifs.

I dont deny there is middle ground. Its just usually where the chubby girls are

 

[2bald2young]

Whenever I go to crowded public places, no matter how many times I go or how much attention I pay I never see many young bald guys. Sometimes even 0. I see bald young guys with girlfriends, an example would be a couple of days ago but that guy was pretty tall so I think that played a role.

The only time I saw a young bald guy with a good looking gf he had something about his appearance like being tall or that he was one off the few guys that could pull of the bald look.

I believe that when you have nothing to compensate the baldness with things start to get troublesome. That is because you are young there are enough peers with the same or even better attributes as you but with hair.

But this is just a little observation with a hypothesis, so I don't really know if this is really true.

 

[hellouser]

All these girls had these inspirational quotes on their Facebook "Don't give up on your dreams". There are no bald men in their Hollywood-manufactured dreams.

Entitlement.

 

[Notcoolanymore]

I have no idea why, but I just naturally hate guys who grow out their NW3's+. I have had hate for them since I was like 11-12. I dont hate bald guys at all, but I hate with such a desire guys with grown out NW3+'s. Thats why I pretty much am drowning in self-hate.

That is a pretty messed up thing to say, especially since you claim to be a hair loss sufferer yourself. The main problem here is that you are not one of us. You don't sympathize with us in any way. You hate bald/balding guys and that's why you now hate yourself. You hate the fact that you might become one of us. I guess everyone that doesn't have a full head of hair LIKE YOU DO should just shave their head so they don't offend guys like you. Excuse us for trying to grow our hair out a bit to feel better about ourselves.

One of the most deserved neg reps I have given.

 

[Wolf Pack]

Like most of us, I didn't know bald people existed, I didn't make that distinction at all, and I'm serious.

So I totally understand why my girlfriend and her Flemish friends don't notice baldness either.

Think about when you were 13, were you paying attention to bald men?

Did you tell yourself "the man I'm currently talking to is bald"? Probably not.

Somehow deleted my post as I went to add more.

I think now a days because there is the internet people are doing a TON of research and know more at a younger age. I see kids come in that are clued up on stuff that would shock you. It's the effect of smartphones and the net, that's it.

Spencer said himself, when he first went bald, there was no net, he didn't know what the hell to do. He had to go to a library and one of the therapies was put urine on your head or something.

When I was 11 I knew about bald heads and patches, nothing more. By 13 you are aware a bit more. If you speak to 13 year olds now they would tell you a lot now. Fred every adult knows about baldness, even in tribal areas they know about it and it's seen as less desirable. I think your gf knows but has picked up on your sensitivity so is being caring. It's like when family apparently "don't notice baldness" despite losing a crap load of hair.

 

[Wolf Pack]

That's good for you. I do find it strange though. Here, no doubt people would notice yours. My friend buzzes his as a diffuser and he still has some density, yet I have seen eyes focussed right on his hair when I am with him. Yet not on me despite me having a crap hairline.

Maybe she is really oblivious to hair loss. I think since she has no experience of it in her family she is unaware, still I find this crazy. The girls around me are very clued up but some are also in science fields which adds to it.

At one point I didn't even know I had hair loss, 4-5 years ago, I was barely Norwood 1.5-2 and a girl said which of you boys are losing hair. She goes I can see the temples are slightly going in you!

None of this bothers me, currently. As it has had zero implications on my dating life, social or work. I am sure if I go visibly thin or go beyond Norwood 3, that will change.

To add, I am surprised you haven't opened up to her about your past troubles a little bit. Have you been with her long?

 

[Wolf Pack]

Good genes are really valued here whether intellect, looks or indeed hair. I think she was teasing me as she had a crush, so maybe negging me. Like Swing I am above average looking (not amazingly) and really see what attraction is and how shallow it is. I've never attempted to get a 9 or 10 and tbh this is hard for anyone, but most average looking girls will be interested.

I am pretty sure it's the same elsewhere, but maybe less emphasis on hair from what you say? I haven't experienced this on holiday in mainland Europe. Even in Italy they value guys with full hair and the styles they pull off.

Also treating your hair loss is a taboo I feel. I know for a fact that if you have a fullish head of hair due to finasteride/hair transplant, that's seen as inferior to naturally being a Norwood 1. I've heard my mum proudly say her brothers and dad all had full hair and took nothing. She goes even in death her father took his hair with him. A girl I know commented on a guy she knew now had more hair, she goes "oh a few more seeds are growing due to transplants and finasteride" she mocked him. She wasn't pretty either. Lol.

Still treating it is better than being bald of course.

 

[Wolf Pack]

Rogaine/Regaine ads are everywhere. They are ridiculous.

In regards to the info on hair loss, a 2 minute search on wikipedia tells you everything. Seriously you give little credit to girls/adults, people know a lot and maybe don't let on.

Transplants are well known, more than finasteride, they have been around since the 70s even though they were crap then. Transplants and wigs get mocked in movies, everyone knows about it.

 

[xetudor]

This reminded how Justin Bieber mocked prince Williams because he should have taken Propecia. How the hell did a young guy with no hair problems know about that stuff? I didn't even knew there was anything that you can do about baldness until recently.