We're supposed to support each other

[Goldee Lox]

Not cut each other down.. a lot of hate on this site. I'm quite surprised by this. Negativity errrrrwhere.

 

[alexpie2]

I really do wish people were more positive on here. It just causes people already upset about hairloss to get more upset. People like Fred provide good insight, but are toxic in a lot of communities (example above).

 

[Rudiger]

It's a hair loss forum, what did you expect?

That's an admission of everything I've been at you about Fred, it's acceptable or even good to cut each other down?

- - - Updated - - -

I really do wish people were more positive on here. It just causes people already upset about hairloss to get more upset. People like Fred provide good insight, but are toxic in a lot of communities (example above).

I think we need to tread on a fine line between being realistic and just beating ourselves up. There's nothing rosey about baldness, we all know how **** it is, and how it effects our self-esteem in life in every way, even subconsciously when we think we're comfortable with those around us, it's still there, so with that pre-requisite that we all understand that, I don't see why some people love jerking off so much at compounding the misery even further.

I don't necessarily want fake positivity and pretending that everything's perfect and we're all shiny headed gods to women and friends and co-workers, because that's patronising and we know it's not true. But in terms of how many people act on this forum, I agree completely that we need more positivity with regards to where we stand at the moment.

Maybe a sort of level-headedness, common sense, not blissful harmony nor crushing negativity. That would be nice.

 

[Hairloss23]

Very true Fred. Nothing will save you if you go bald.

 

[Goldee Lox]

Very true Fred. Nothing will save you if you go bald.

I don't agree with this mindset at all.

 

[baldboys]

Its mainly about OCD, i believe most of this forum has it. We obsess about something and fear something that is to come, but actually never comes, we fear the future and the uncertainty, making a big deal of something that in the end is only natural.

 

[christinethoma]

Well life is unfair, but we could add a little bit of positivity in our posts. Have a great day everyone!

 

[Exodus2011]

That's an admission of everything I've been at you about Fred, it's acceptable or even good to cut each other down?

- - - Updated - - -



I think we need to tread on a fine line between being realistic and just beating ourselves up. There's nothing rosey about baldness, we all know how **** it is, and how it effects our self-esteem in life in every way, even subconsciously when we think we're comfortable with those around us, it's still there, so with that pre-requisite that we all understand that, I don't see why some people love jerking off so much at compounding the misery even further.

I don't necessarily want fake positivity and pretending that everything's perfect and we're all shiny headed gods to women and friends and co-workers, because that's patronising and we know it's not true. But in terms of how many people act on this forum, I agree completely that we need more positivity with regards to where we stand at the moment.

Maybe a sort of level-headedness, common sense, not blissful harmony nor crushing negativity. That would be nice.

+5. great post. i agree strongly, we need to be rational. it's not the end of the world but it does suck. there can be balance. baldness is an emotionally powerful experience, so it seems people either are too positive or too negative.

What makes me mad about this site is there's a lot of **** talking. even times where someone makes fun of someone else for baldness. that is truly messed up.

 

[Goldee Lox]

Forums for things such as hair loss tend to be more doom and gloom than positive because people who have had success maintaining their hair for the long haul usually don't come on these sites anymore. Sporadically at best. Same with the bros that have shaved their head and moved on like bosses.

 

[uncomfortable man]

One cant talk peace and stir the pot at the same time. So which is it?

 

[F2005]

It's because hair loss is a very negative subject. And the people who have the most positivity are always the ones with the least amount of hair loss. They still have most (if not all) of their hair. Hell, if I was an Norwood 1.5, I'd be pretty happy too!!

 

[Hairloss23]

One cant talk peace and stir the pot at the same time. So which is it?

Oh I don't know, I can think of a fair few politicians, bureaucrats and business leaders.

 

[xetudor]

This forum is quite interesting because there are so many diverse people here unlike other forums where there is a hive-mind that dictates everything and if you disagree, you are shunned.

 

[Rudiger]

There's no other way. We cannot tell each other we're alright and that it's going to be alright.

We like to be anchored in reality.

Unlike slybaldguys or even BTT, where dozens of members still think getting a tan, getting big and being confident will save them.

Remember what I said about your binary thought patterns? "Save them"?! So it's either- baldness and eternal hell, or NW1 and eternal bliss. This is literally how your mind works. It's that stupidly simple.

I'm so sick of going over the same things again and again with you, but here we go. There's nothing wrong with a guy taking care of himself, in the same way an unfortunately ugly guy who looks after himself will stand a stronger chance of attracting a female, so will a bald guy who looks after himself.

Your mindset is the nihilistic "we're bald let's all get fat and anti-social because it's pointless anyway" way of thinking, and I truly feel sorry for you, but more importantly I want you to shut the **** up and stop spreading your insane negativity on to others.

But just to clarify further, you're advocating cutting eachother down, basically indirectly bullying others who come on here for support? Nice, at least you are finally admitting it. That's the first step.

 

[Follisket]

Yea, let's all just chill and be strawberry spunky. Everything's fine, it's not that bad; there's always next lifetime. I'm sorry, but I really don't care about people being at peace with their baldness. Hell no, I want them to get up and do something.
But, of course, beta baldies can't even get society to recognize the severity of their disfigurement - and instead settle for the comfort of delusion. I'm sure positive reframing will regrow hair at some point!

 

[Rudiger]

What the hell are you talking about? If anything, I just addressed Fred's attitude of "**** it we're bald let's give up" and you've completely mixed everything up.

Positivity on this forum is "do something about your baldness, or yourself, because it can be done" negativity on this forum is "who cares, give up baldy", and you're equating positivity and negativity in all the wrong ways.

I mean really, the only way you've ever been motivated to do something is by being told you're ****ing useless and you need to wake up? That's troubling. There are other ways y'know.

 

[Follisket]

There are other ways y'know.

And how have those paid off so far? Seriously? You can't deny baldness currently isn't taken seriously by society, right? How can we possibly expect it to work towards a solution to a problem it doesn't even recognize? Especially with us reinforcing the notion that it isn't that bad at all?

There's nothing wrong with a guy taking care of himself, in the same way an unfortunately ugly guy who looks after himself will stand a stronger chance of attracting a female, so will a bald guy who looks after himself.

Nothing wrong with it, of course. But it is only going to pay off if/once he gets his hair back. Otherwise, nothing ever overshadows hair loss. Nothing. And this is coming from someone who regularly hits the gym; the attention I gained with a better body can't even begin to compare to the attention I lost with hair loss.

 

[Rudiger]

And how have those paid off so far? Seriously?

Let's be clear about what you're talking about first. You are saying that the best way of motivating a person is to tell them to be as negative or "realistic" as possible, basically telling someone that everything's ****ing pointless and they shouldn't dare care about doing anything about it.

Nothing wrong with it, of course. But it is only going to pay off if/once he gets his hair back. Otherwise, nothing ever overshadows hair loss. Nothing. And this is coming from someone who regularly hits the gym; the attention I gained with a better body can't even begin to compare to the attention I lost with hair loss.

Who's arguing otherwise? You admit you gain attention from having a better body, that's better than nothing. Your attitude is conflicting.

 

[DannyBoyy]

Its one thing being honest, the original poster of this thread knows full well that some are gonna hate being bald etc etc, but this forum does go over the top. The fact the David Bowie thread about his death was used for people to go off on their hairloss rants says it all. Noone is asking you all to hold hands and go kumbaya. But just get on and look at the positive things in life from time to time, rant all you like but come on now, i suffer from OCD and **** most days for example its hell but come on now.

 

[EvilLocks]

Come on, this is a hair loss forum - we're not supposed to hold hands and tell each other everything will be alright. The reason why I like this forum is mainly because people here are honest about their experiences, and doesn't sugar coat reality. Hair loss is devastating, so naturally that will reflect onto the posts here. But I still think we support each other in a way, by giving advice on treatment options and how to deal with baldness etc. I think this forum is great exactly the way it is; we don't need to turn into HerAlopecia where everyone compliments each others wigs and sing each others praises. That's not how it works in the real world.