What Is Looks Matched Anyways (word Count)

[SmoothSailing]

Imagine how easy it must be to g through life looking like Rock Cosnett:

It's only the second time in my life that a female romantic prospect has bothered to mention something she didn't like and wanted to see adjusted. In a cruel way, this is actually a good sign, an indicator of progress.

[She said I use unusual language to describe some things and it can be off-putting. I told her I'd try and better explain myself, and later on she said yes it was helpful.]

The norm is for women to look for excuses to leave, and to leave no later than the first sign of trouble. I am not perfect, I am sure I have a lot of flaws or as Donald Rumseld would call them "unknown unknowns." However, women don't bother mentioning them.

I'm not sure if it's weird but I used to prompt girls for advice sometimes. The best advice I ever got was after a date with a redpilled-ish girl who explicitly told me she wasn't into me after the date. I asked her for more advice and she didn't hold back. It turned out to be good advice. I was very inexperienced at the time.

She told me to stop turning everything into a joke and let the conversation get serious now and again, to lead the date more instead of asking her does she want to stay for another drink I should have just ordered more drinks, cut down on the self deprecating humor, tell more personal stories and grow out some stubble at least, the barman asked me for Id when we ordered drinks (legal age is 18, I was 21)

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Back to the woman discussed above, we were going to meet last week but we cancelled because we both had fevers. There's a nasty bug circulating around here. Anyway I got in touch yesterday and asked her if she'd like to meet up, she said no, as of Saturday she is seeing someone, but she wouldn't mind hanging out as long as there are no expectations.

I'll point out that I should have just overdosed myself with codeine+ibuprofen+tylenol and gone out with her earlier. She is a non-obese woman under 60 on an online dating site, thus, at any given time she has dozens of men chasing after her. Actually it's a little worse: she had a nice smile, she's smart, and she's around 30. It was foolish of me to wait. There's always a huge mob for any woman remotely desirable, it's like buying a playstation on opening day. A man has to be fast.

What I wrote to her was something like:

Good luck with the new relationship.

I wouldn't mind hanging out, as you're definitely fun and engaging, but I know from experience that women never mean it when they say "let's be friends!" If you still want to meet up feel free to arrange something, but given the circumstance it's not appropriate for me to do so.

She responded that she's someone who says what she means and treats others the way she wants to be treated. She's very busy right now but she'll be in touch soon.

I must rolled my eyes in real life, and in the text I said that's great, talk to you later.

**************************

I feel like being spiteful, and messaging her in eight weeks pointing out that she wasn't honest in saying she wanted to be friends.

It's a pet peeve of mine. I wish women wouldn't make that up "but I'd like to be friends !" just be honest, have some integrity, and say that you have no intention nor desire of ever seeing the person again.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

I'm not sure if it's weird but I used to prompt girls for advice sometimes. The best advice I ever got was after a date with a redpilled-ish girl who explicitly told me she wasn't into me after the date. I asked her for more advice and she didn't hold back. It turned out to be good advice. I was very inexperienced at the time.

She told me to stop turning everything into a joke and let the conversation get serious now and again, to lead the date more instead of asking her does she want to stay for another drink I should have just ordered more drinks, cut down on the self deprecating humor, tell more personal stories and grow out some stubble at least, the barman asked me for Id when we ordered drinks (legal age is 18, I was 21)

It's fine that you asked girls for advice here and there. I can imagine it might be needy if done too often, but that doesn't sound like the case here.

My point was more that if women genuinely care about you at all, even remotely, they'll sometimes mention the things that are bothering them. It's because they're invested in the relationship and they want to see it improve. They are not looking for excuses to leave.

@WhitePolarBear used to mention that some women who were into him would call him lazy and unambitious, and he took it as a sign that they weren't interested. If they were really uninterested, they more likely would have said nothing.

ETA: American bartenders can card anybody.

 

[Grasshüpfer]

Yeah I agree with you.
Strict looksmatching is just rare in real life.
Even in Hollywood, michael fassbender and alicia vikander. She's beautiful without a doubt but I'd say she's about 1-2 points below him.

And this is where personal taste comes in. For me Alicia is a legit 10. At least 2-3 points above Angelina Jolie on my personal scale.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

And this is where personal taste comes in. For me Alicia is a legit 10. At least 2-3 points above Angelina Jolie on my personal scale.

Alicia Vikander has descended from Mount Olympus.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

I think a big part of this is men who are divorce and have kids--women don't exclude them as possibilities.

Come to think of it even my first lover was divorced.

Would you date a man with kids?

To me it sounds like hell looking after other peoples kids. The only time I would consider it is if I was single in my 50s and the mother had grown up and moved out kids.

 

[hairblues]

And this is where personal taste comes in. For me Alicia is a legit 10. At least 2-3 points above Angelina Jolie on my personal scale.

Angela is someone I would give a modeling contract to if she was a model/ me an agent because its just obvious from her face the majority of men and women would find her stunning by common beauty standards.

Alicia is someone in real life i personally would be attracted to sexually. (and that list of women is extremely short)

 

[hairblues]

Would you date a man with kids?

To me it sounds like hell looking after other peoples kids. The only time I would consider it is if I was single in my 50s and the mother had grown up and moved out kids.

I have dated men with kids..but in all situations they have not lived in NYC...One his son lived in Europe a toddler he would go spend a few weeks a year with back in his country...Another he worked in NY and Central America for his firm so he would be 2 weeks in NY 2 weeks in Panama a month...his daughter lived in Panama.. I never met either kids in those situations as they never came to NY.
I dated another guy who had a daughter at college--so never met her.
I might go meet up with this guy i started to talk to who has a teen away at boarding school.

So i do date men who have kids, had relationships with 2 --but never met any of them.

(weird right? lol )

 

[EvilLocks]

This is the kind of face I find attractive. She is an 8 for me. Far better than Jolie.

Taste is a funny thing, as I find Martha Hunt to be one of the ''ugliest'' models out there. Ugly is a bad choice of words though, she is clearly above average (tall, skinny, blonde, white, model), but compared to other beautiful women she's far from my taste.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

I have dated men with kids..but in all situations they have not lived in NYC...One his son lived in Europe a toddler he would go spend a few weeks a year with back in his country...Another he worked in NY and Central America for his firm so he would be 2 weeks in NY 2 weeks in Panama a month...his daughter lived in Panama.. I never met either kids in those situations as they never came to NY.
I dated another guy who had a daughter at college--so never met her.
I might go meet up with this guy i started to talk to who has a teen away at boarding school.

So i do date men who have kids, had relationships with 2 --but never met any of them.

(weird right? lol )

Depends how long term the relationships are - I wouldn't do it until after around 6 months (if I actually had kids).

 

[JohnsonDDG]

Taste is a funny thing, as I find Martha Hunt to be one of the ''ugliest'' models out there. Ugly is a bad choice of words though, she is clearly above average (tall, skinny, blonde, white, model), but compared to other beautiful women she's far from my taste.

Do you have a difference in what you think looks good and what turns you on?

Because I know sometime some women aren't that pretty but they still turn me on. And sometimes I can be around a beautiful woman and yet I feel no sexual connection.

 

[hairblues]

Depends how long term the relationships are - I wouldn't do it until after around 6 months (if I actually had kids).

I meant weird that kids are all living out of country or out of state.

So its like 'yes' technically i date men with kids...but they are never living 'here'.

There was another guy i was talking to recently (not dating him) he lives here and his kids live in Norway.

 

[hairblues]

Do you have a difference in what you think looks good and what turns you on?

Because I know sometime some women aren't that pretty but they still turn me on. And sometimes I can be around a beautiful woman and yet I feel no sexual connection.

That is a huge problem i think for 20 and maybe even 30 something because it sounds like majority of dating is done from apps, and you miss out on all the subtle things that in person can make someone much sexier.

For me man times i am not attracted to a photo---BUT i can say to myself 'this guy may be better in person' because i have that experience of dating before apps--that many times pics don't tell whole story (good or bad)
and i wonder if that is missing for younger daters.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

I meant weird that kids are all living out of country or out of state.

So its like 'yes' technically i date men with kids...but they are never living 'here'.

There was another guy i was talking to recently (not dating him) he lives here and his kids live in Norway.

Smart men - move to another nation - no child support

 

[EvilLocks]

Do you have a difference in what you think looks good and what turns you on?

Because I know sometime some women aren't that pretty but they still turn me on. And sometimes I can be around a beautiful woman and yet I feel no sexual connection.

Are you talking about men or women here? As I'm a heterosexual female I'm not ''turned on'' by other women in the slightest, although I can admire their beauty and get inspired by it. If we're talking men then yes - there is a difference for sure. For instance I think male model Sean O'Pry is aesthetically perfect, but I'm not so turned on by him.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

That is a huge problem i think for 20 and maybe even 30 something because it sounds like majority of dating is done from apps, and you miss out on all the subtle things that in person can make someone much sexier.

For me man times i am not attracted to a photo---BUT i can say to myself 'this guy may be better in person' because i have that experience of dating before apps--that many times pics don't tell whole story (good or bad)
and i wonder if that is missing for younger daters.

Oh wow, you are so right.

Also, I've excluded women for not being hot in tinder and yet in real life I would completely have given them a chance.

I literally don't know how to chat up a stanger in real life because I've used pof and tinder for the last five years.

 

[hairblues]

Smart men - move to another nation - no child support

LOL no they definitely all pay child support and then some.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

Are you talking about men or women here? As I'm a heterosexual female I'm not ''turned on'' by other women in the slightest, although I can admire their beauty and get inspired by it. If we're talking men then yes - there is a difference for sure. For instance I think male model Sean O'Pry is aesthetically perfect, but I'm not so turned on by him.

I thought that might be so - I wonder what makes them sexy instead of attractive and vice versa?

 

[hairblues]

Taste is a funny thing, as I find Martha Hunt to be one of the ''ugliest'' models out there. Ugly is a bad choice of words though, she is clearly above average (tall, skinny, blonde, white, model), but compared to other beautiful women she's far from my taste.

But you make the clear distinction between comparing her to other models and how society sees her.
Some posters don't do this.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

LOL no they definitely all pay child support and then some.

Paying for your kid that you don't see - that's gotta be a killer.