What would you rather have?

[cleverusername]

I'd take the NW2 and the kid although I'd probably step up and actually raise him rather than have some b**ch leeching off my wallet.

 

[dude77]

I'm actually glad to see this thread .. let me address why .. it shows the irrational and illogical thinking that goes with having male pattern baldness .. to even think of or consider that you'd be better off being a drug addict and diseased BUT with a full head of hair just makes me chuckle lol

I'll go with NW5 and healthy .. as I get older I care less and less about 'hair' really .. I'm 32 now .. at a NW3V and progressing

I came on this site years ago when I was 23 I think .. under a different name .. I forgot what it was it's been a long time .. had the same paranoia and despair as other folks starting off .. tried all the medications .. internally and externally .. it worked but I had side effects and the chore itself of having to apply all that crap daily .. I felt ridiculous .. like a vain young girl putting on her makeup daily(no offense ladies)and one day I caught myself and just said 'what the hell are you doing ? this is stupid .. you're being irrational .. you're a MAN for pete's sake .. lift up your sack and stop being a 'female dog' ' .. and so I decided there to drop everything .. no meds, nothing .. just let it ride it's course because at the end of the day it's just effin hair .. shifted my concentration more on improving my overall life, physical health etc and everything fell in place eventually ..

now I'm 32 and it's progressed from a NW0 to NW3v and probably will get worse but as I said .. as I mature and get older it just matters less and less .. and that's not because my face is older and fits more with the bald look .. I still look younger than my age .. I just decided this is bs .. to allow myself to be so affected by 'hair' .. na I don't think so .. gotta be more stronger mentally than that ..

now with that said .. I'm gonna get the usual question .. 'so then why are you here' .. well because I still 'think about it' here and there so I come here to read up on people's different perspectives and how others are dealing with it .. but I'll be damned if I let it rule my life

it's not all about the hair guys .. it just isn't .. trust me on this

 

[CCS]

IN all fairness, I'm a NW4a grafted back to a diffuse NW2, so I don't know what it is like to be NW4v or anything like that.

But I do think I'd just get a hairpiece. I know you did not have good ones back then, so you did not have that option. But I bought one and wore it. They messed my order up good, but I could tell the technology is there. They just need to angle it better. Anyway, I'll probably go back to hair pieces. Just when you got a life raft, it is debated whether it is worth jumping in the water to swim over to the bigger boat.

I am upset my grafts will grow up and lift the base if I don't shave daily. But on the upside, if a woman ever catches me with it off, she'll see the grafts and think I have a full head of hair, though maybe a bit thin and a bit high, but hard to tell from the shaved look. So she won't get the huge gross out reaction when seeing it. She will probably tell me to grow it out and show her what it looks like. I'll then decline and say, "I look alright when it is grown out, but i just like to look a little bit better. It is like wearing a tie, or shaving daily. Just something I do. It only takes me 5 minutes. I really don't mind. Here: feel how natural that feels." As long as it looks and feels good, I should keep a woman a who looks better than my bald self by not as good as my hairy self. A woman used to dating NW1's would probably not put up with the piece. But one who thought she was getting a treat would stay with me, even if she would not have dated me bald.

 

[barcafan]

IN all fairness, I'm a NW4a grafted back to a diffuse NW2, so I don't know what it is like to be NW4v or anything like that.

But I do think I'd just get a hairpiece. I know you did not have good ones back then, so you did not have that option. But I bought one and wore it. They messed my order up good, but I could tell the technology is there. They just need to angle it better. Anyway, I'll probably go back to hair pieces. Just when you got a life raft, it is debated whether it is worth jumping in the water to swim over to the bigger boat.

I am upset my grafts will grow up and lift the base if I don't shave daily. But on the upside, if a woman ever catches me with it off, she'll see the grafts and think I have a full head of hair, though maybe a bit thin and a bit high, but hard to tell from the shaved look. So she won't get the huge gross out reaction when seeing it. She will probably tell me to grow it out and show her what it looks like. I'll then decline and say, "I look alright when it is grown out, but i just like to look a little bit better. It is like wearing a tie, or shaving daily. Just something I do. It only takes me 5 minutes. I really don't mind. Here: feel how natural that feels." As long as it looks and feels good, I should keep a woman a who looks better than my bald self by not as good as my hairy self. A woman used to dating NW1's would probably not put up with the piece. But one who thought she was getting a treat would stay with me, even if she would not have dated me bald.

We need to get you on TV, man.

 

[dude77]

a bit late responding to this one sorry .. just kinda forgot about it ..

Just out of curiousity dude77, are you married now? Long-term relationship?

I am not married or in a long term relationship but this is 100% by choice ..

I had this "false sense of security," where I felt as if my woman would love me until the end of time - no matter what. She always told me she would, and I was foolish enough to believe her

oh yeah .. many of us make this mistake .. it's nice to have someone but feeling good about ourselves must come from within period

My wife decided to dump me! Why? Because she wasn't "physically" attracted to me anymore due to my hairloss. She wanted to be with another guy (with a full head of hair). I got divorced, and I was a NW4/5 at the time.

wait wait .. how do you know for sure that this was her reason for leaving you ? gotta be careful with that .. your mind plays tricks on you with this hairloss garbage .. I know this

I tried to re-enter the dating scene, and I was blown away at how much rejection I received. When 8 years earlier, before my marriage, I had many girlfriends. I was always able to get dates and meet women

understandable .. but I mean .. there are a lot of factors in play there .. you're out of practice .. your state of mind may be different(due to the divorce, your worries about going bald etc) thus you might have been giving off a 'negative' vibe even if you don't think it was negative .. women pick this up quickly and in turn reject you just as quickly .. and lastly, the type of women you were going for etc .. I mean .. getting rejected can come down to more than one thing or it can come down to just one thing .. but I doubt you were getting rejected by every single one of them just because of your lack of hair ..

I'm not criticizing you in any way .. maybe it was the hair or maybe not .. I wouldn't know .. just giving my opinion

Only, about 5 years ago, I have been a man on a mission to improve myself. Although I haven't had much success yet, I still am trying to improve - I haven't given up

this is the key .. never ever give up .. fight the fight

Anyways, glad to see you were able to downplay your hairloss. But, let me tell you that the psychological difference between a guy who has been a NW4/5 vs. a guy who has been between NW0 and NW3v for most of their adult years - is huge. What NW4-7's experience is a completely different ballgame

well .. this is how I see it .. you're definitely right about living through nw0-3v vs. nw4/5 .. it doesn't compare, especially if you're dealing with it at a young age .. living with nw4 and up starting in your early 20s must be really hard .. I wasn't there yet at that age .. so that's true, I can't argue that ..

You say, "it's just effin hair," but don't forget you are saying that from a NW3v point of view. You most likely have not been NW3 for that many years yet either. I've been a NW4/5 for almost 20 years. You say you'd rather be a NW5, but you don't know what being a NW5 truly feels like - you havn't gotten there yet. You may never get there. I can tell you that being a NW5 for 2 decades is not all that great. In fact, it majorly sucks!

ok let me clarify the 'it's just effin hair' comment ..

I'm coming from the perspective of being older and more mature so that's why 'to me' it's just effin hair now but yeah I know .. for a youngster who's 19 and a nw4 it's not just effin hair .. I completely understand this and empathize with them because I'd be freaking out too and depressed if I was in their shoes ..

and about not knowing what a nw5 feels like .. absolutely right again .. I haven't gotten there yet so I don't know how I'll feel about it BUT .. thinking that you're better off as a drug addict with a full head of hair is irrational thinking which is unhealthy .. this same thing would happen to me .. I caught myself doing it and stopped that sh*t immediately ..

as far as the present, I'm not in any good shape now either .. my nw3v looks horrible .. crown area bald spot growing and showing skin and massive temple recession .. I look like a 'balding bastard' as they say lol .. it has surely taken away from my 'looks' so don't think that I'm in ok shape because I'm not .. I look bald .. I guess I've just gotten mentally stronger as I've gotten older and thus I can handle the whole situation better .. and the way you carry yourself is very important and can and will make or break you hair or no hair, contrary to what anyone else says .. the fact that hairloss is even an issue in someone's mind can be enough to eff up the way you carry yourself around someone or some girl without you even noticing ..

Psychologically major hairloss can, and will, take a major toll on a guy's lifestyle

this is true but it also depends on how old the person is ..

It's all about how a guy deals with it.

this is the bottomline

 

[CCS]

So, I finished school, and landed a high paying job - and then, BAM! My wife decided to dump me! Why? Because she wasn't "physically" attracted to me anymore due to my hairloss. I was a NW4/5 at the time.

Very nice of her to wait til after you graduated, so you did not fail any classes from the loss. Obviously the high paying job was not enough to make up for attraction. Or was there alimony involved once you got the job? If her alimony eligibility jumped, that could be a different explanation.

 

[CCS]

I'm coming from the perspective of being older and more mature so that's why 'to me' it's just effin hair now but yeah I know .. for a youngster who's 19 and a nw4 it's not just effin hair .. I completely understand this and empathize with them because I'd be freaking out too and depressed if I was in their shoes .. and about not knowing what a nw5 feels like .. absolutely right again ..

I remember when I was 23, NW4a, watching my grafts, hoping they would grow out fast enough before my top started going. I had just discovered some thin areas going down the middle. The thought the top would go before the grafts even grew out was just horrible. I could not make money fast enough to get enough grafts, and they were so thin anyway. Sure made me consider suicide. But then I decided that just having a decent job and being able to go hiking and look at the sun set is far better than being dead, even if I remain a virgin. And I figured new technology would come out. So I hung on. And let me tell you, after trying a hair piece, I have a whole new outlook on life. I wish I had known how good they are back then.

 

[SE-freak]

CCS is cult. None actually perceives his underlying grotesque sense of humour.

Reminds me of Gunner or Radio in disguise. Ahhh the good old days... :grouphug:

 

[dude77]

ah gunner lol .. I was trying to remember a certain person I used to see on here that sort of became a hairlosstalk celebrity .. and that was him .. gunner .. now I remember .. skinny redhead from the uk right ? whatever happened to him .. hopefully he got better

 

[barcafan]

Hey man, if you wanna use my sig you gotta pay royalties here... sh*t ain't free son.

Also: you must have seen the signs, bro? Somehow i dont think Hairloss was the ONLY thing she was superficial about.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Be thankful you didn't have a kid with her, Dude.Great sig btw Barcafan.

 

[ali777]

wait wait .. how do you know for sure that this was her reason for leaving you ? gotta be careful with that .. your mind plays tricks on you with this hairloss garbage .. I know this

I know for sure. She told me directly that my hairloss was a "turn-off" for her. Then, she went on to explain how she no longer wanted to be with me because my lack of hair grossed her out. She said that bald guys made her want to puke and that she found bald guys disgusting and gross.

Funny thing was, I already was a NW3 - heading to 4 when I met her at age 19. However, by the time she dumped me, I was 27 and I was a NW5. She told me that my hairloss didn't bother her at first mainly becuase I had very long hair - below shoulder length - and I wore it in a ponytail most of the time. I usually wore a baseball cap too most of the time. She said that my hairloss didn't bother that much.

However, she said that over time, she began to dislike my hair, and she became grossed out by it. She began to dislike bald guys in general. She said that my bald head was disgusting for her to look at. She said that there would have been no way for her to ever change how she felt about this.

First of all, she stopped loving you dude... When that happens, people start picking on little things and making excuses.

I was in your ex's shoes, I know what it feels like to be grossed out by someone. I had a very long thing with my ex gf. We tried to work things out, etc. One day I looked at her, and I felt absolutely disgusted. You know how your ex wife hated your bald head, in the same way I hated everything about my ex. That day I knew I wanted her out of my life for good.... It was a long process, it didn't happen over night but that particular day I physically felt grossed out, and that was it for me.....

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. When we are in love, we ignore/tolerate imperfections but when we fall apart those imperfections become obstacles. That's what happened to you and me. Unfortunately you were in the receiving end...

I actually wasn't with my ex at the time, we were trying to patch things up but she turned out to be a b**ch and I had to tell her that I didn't love her anymore, etc. I never told her that I find her physically repulsive. That would be way too mean, however, if it was the other way around I think my ex would have told me that she finds me disgusting. Women have a different way of putting men down.

I hope you understand that it wasn't your hair that grossed her out, it was your relationship...

I moved out a few weeks later and I never saw her again till recently I seen a picture of her on classmates.com with her "happy little family" - her two kids with her latest hubby. God do I feel sorry for those poor kids - having such an awful person for a mother!

Wow dude... that must have brought back tones of emotions.

I could care less. It has been over for a long time and I have moved on. It just goes to show how shallow and bitchy some women are.

Sometimes we aren't truly over it.... I have nothing but hate for my ex, and when I think about her I still get a bit emotional. I sense lots of hate in your part as well. Hate is a very strong feeling, you have to let it go... My hate towards my ex is subsiding, the last time she sent me an email, I didn't even care... I think I'm almost healed...

 

[chain]

So, I finished school, and landed a high paying job - and then, BAM! My wife decided to dump me! Why? Because she wasn't "physically" attracted to me anymore due to my hairloss. I was a NW4/5 at the time.

Very nice of her to wait til after you graduated, so you did not fail any classes from the loss. Obviously the high paying job was not enough to make up for attraction. Or was there alimony involved once you got the job? If her alimony eligibility jumped, that could be a different explanation.

She was a total b**ch! And to think I was married to that b**ch for 8 years before this! She was not a nice person for doing me the way she did. Anyways, she stood me up for my graduation - she never showed. Then she dumped me, right after I took her on a week-long "luxury" trip to a resort with my first paycheck. I also bought her a very expensive diamond ring too - about $1,000 value. She dumped me right afterwards and told me she pawned the ring for $75. I had to pay on it for years afterwards! b**ch! :firing:

My wife decided to dump me! Why? Because she wasn't "physically" attracted to me anymore due to my hairloss. She wanted to be with another guy (with a full head of hair). I got divorced, and I was a NW4/5 at the time.

wait wait .. how do you know for sure that this was her reason for leaving you ? gotta be careful with that .. your mind plays tricks on you with this hairloss garbage .. I know this

I know for sure. She told me directly that my hairloss was a "turn-off" for her. Then, she went on to explain how she no longer wanted to be with me because my lack of hair grossed her out. She said that bald guys made her want to puke and that she found bald guys disgusting and gross.

Funny thing was, I already was a NW3 - heading to 4 when I met her at age 19. However, by the time she dumped me, I was 27 and I was a NW5. She told me that my hairloss didn't bother her at first mainly becuase I had very long hair - below shoulder length - and I wore it in a ponytail most of the time. I usually wore a baseball cap too most of the time. She said that my hairloss didn't bother that much.

However, she said that over time, she began to dislike my hair, and she became grossed out by it. She began to dislike bald guys in general. She said that my bald head was disgusting for her to look at. She said that there would have been no way for her to ever change how she felt about this.

She just said, "You're very noticeably bald now, it grosses me out, and I no longer want to be married to you. Your hair looks disgusting, as all bald guys do! F*** you, I'm moving out, because I don't love you anymore. My new boyfriend - who has a full head of hair - will kick your *** if you don't move your sorry *** out of my house! F*** you and goodbye forever - waldo the baldo! I hate you!"

The house was in both of our names so she couldn't throw me out. She just left me there - she walked out and took all of her belongings with her. Her new boyfriend helped her move her sh*t out, since I refused to. She did manage to steal a lot of my things though when I wasn't home. With my heart broken - I couldn't stay there anymore either. I moved out a few weeks later and I never saw her again till recently I seen a picture of her on classmates.com with her "happy little family" - her two kids with her latest hubby. God do I feel sorry for those poor kids - having such an awful person for a mother!

I could care less. It has been over for a long time and I have moved on. It just goes to show how shallow and bitchy some women are.

I am sorry but I think this story is made up. I don't think that you are telling the truth.

 

[ali777]

I am sorry but I think this story is made up. I don't think that you are telling the truth.

I don't think the story is made up... I think dudemon never stopped blaming his ex for everything that has happened in his life.

I'm kinda in the same situation, but at least I realise that for me to truly move on I have to accept what has happened in the past and stop blaming my ex gf. Dudemon should work on some sort of acceptance. He's been living in this constant state of hate and blame for 13 years now, it's just not healthy.

It's been 10 or 11 months since the last time I saw my ex gf, and things are getting much better. Even an innocent email from her would send me absolutely mad a few months ago, but her xmas card had no effect on me. So, things must be getting better....

Dudemon: read my previous message... I'm pretty sure I am right.

 

[Petchsky]

Why do you think it's 'made up' Chain?

I don't personally, Dudemon has mentioned it in a few of his posts over the last few weeks/months, and it;s not exactly like he's saying he's bedded a 100 women

 

[uncomfortable man]

Do you use any kind of toppik Dudemon?

 

[CCS]

I also bought her a very expensive diamond ring too - about $1,000 value. She dumped me right afterwards and told me she pawned the ring for $75. :

Funny thing was, I already was a NW3 - heading to 4 when I met her at age 19. However, by the time she dumped me, I was 27 and I was a NW5. She told me that my hairloss didn't bother her at first mainly becuase I had very long hair - below shoulder length - and I wore it in a ponytail most of the time. I usually wore a baseball cap too most of the time. She said that my hairloss didn't bother that much.

She just said, "You're very noticeably bald now, it grosses me out, and I no longer want to be married to you. Your hair looks disgusting, as all bald guys do! F*** you, I'm moving out, because I don't love you anymore. My new boyfriend - who has a full head of hair - will kick your *** if you don't move your sorry *** out of my house! F*** you and goodbye forever - waldo the baldo! I hate you!"

I get the feeling she was angry at you for some other reason, and figured attacking your hairloss was the best way to hurt you. Typical of most divorces, that they go for each other's throats. Who knows what it was. Probably something or other that ate at her and escalated. Sounds like you got out of the divorce without losing too much, compared to other guys I know. Who knows who did what to whom, but with no kids involved, you got out easy.

 

[barcafan]

Yeah dude, imagine if you had kids with her.

 

[CCS]

My NW2 is kind of nice, even though really thin. I mean, the better my body is starting to look as I'm working out, the less I'm caring about how thin my hair is. Maybe it is the Andractim on my penis turning into testosterone and giving me euphoria, but I'm starting to think I'm too lazy for the whole hair piece thing, and maybe I'll just build some muscle and go from there. Yeah, if I had a NW5 I'm sure I would not feel this way and would definitely do the piece.

 

[CCS]

I think my biggest flaw above the neck is my red face. When my face is not red, I think I look like a model, hair or no hair. But 3/4 of the time, or maybe 95% of the time, my face is red and looks really old and worn out. It is just once a while first thing in the morning that it looks a healthy skin tone and I feel confident to go hit on women. I think instead of buying a piece, I will buy azelaic acid cream and see if I have rosacea and I can get the red out. That and botox helps a lot. I'll still do the eyebrow grafts since I don't need many to get a great look, so $500 tops if there is some minimum fee. My eyebrows being far apart affects my face. Really, hair is all about framing your face. I did a bad hair cut last night, and looked bad. When I fixed it, my face looked better. Amazing.