What's it really like going bald - the truth

[idkwia]

My father was bald and from the age of 16 I was petrified of it happening to me. Then one day, I saw it, the first sign of the dreaded Male Pattern Baldness. I was mortified. I became depressed and lost my spark and thought the world had ended. I thought that my life would be crap from now on, friends would laugh at me, in fact I would probably lose all of my friends and I would never be able to get a girl ever again. That was it finito, I might as well be dead.

And do you know what happened?.....................I was WRONG, big time WRONG. I did lose most of my hair that is true, but strangely the world did not end, friends made the odd comment initially but I just ignored them then they forgot about it and I had as many friends as before but the really really weird thing was that I could still pull girls. At first I was not as confident but that didn't seem to matter I was still pulling the same as before. There were 3 girls who told me that to them baldness was manly and I said "there is no need to be kind, I know what you are really thinking" and they said "no, we really mean it!" and I ended up with all of them so they were telling the truth!

Now there may be the odd shallow girl who doesn't like it, but stuff them cos there are more that it reallly doesn't bother or actually prefer it because it is more sexy.

I had what hair I had left cut very very short and so there was no more worrying about it, no more messing about with combs and brushes. I also bought one of those DIY razors and trust me when I say they are so easy to use and it comes out just as good as the barber's, so I saved money on haircuts too.

I am now 40 and look back on the time when I started losing my hair and think "I don't know what the hell I was worried about".

My only regret? That I didn't have my hair cut very very short at the start of my loss and that would be the best advice I could give to guys going through the same thing.

So if any of you guys are reading this and are at your wits end with worry then I know what you are going through. I know it is no good me saying "don't worry" because you will and that is only natural, but please take some reassurance from my story because I can promise you, the world does not end, life is just as good and there are many more postives than negatives.

PS dont waste your money on trying to save your hair, if they really worked you wouldn't see any bald men. Going through any treatment regimen just makes you focus on your hair more every day and wastes time. My best advice is to get your hair cut really short ASAP and I promise you that after the initial shock of that first cut you will not look back. Go for it.

 

[wessneijder]

Thanks for the input man I sometimes consider suicide but when I read stories like this it brings me back to reality and I realize there is indeed life after hair.

 

[s.a.f]

Not all bald guys are equal. Every case is individual.

 

[idkwia]

Thanks for the input man I sometimes consider suicide but when I read stories like this it brings me back to reality and I realize there is indeed life after hair.

I know exactly how you feel because that is how I felt until I realised it was no big deal. People lose limbs and their sight, imagine how they must feel, yet they seem to get over it. As I said in my original post, getting it cut very short was the best thing I ever did. It took me quite a while to get the courage to do it and when I was younger short hair was NOT fashionable whereas nowadays even guys with a lot of hair often have it cut very short. Anyway, once I'd had it cut short and got over the initial shock it was great. Quite a few friends said it looked better very short and it was obvious they really meant it. The great thing about it was that it always looked the same no matter what I did and no matter how windy it was and I didn't have to ponce about with it. Then over time as I lost more hair nobody said anything because if your hair is really short you look the same bald as you do with hair - sorted!
So keep your chin up and trust me, you will be fine.

 

[wessneijder]

Thanks for input. I am a diffuse loser so I agree the buzz cut is good. I have been buzzing my hair since I first noticed loss at 19 with a 1 guard. It's very short, but the problem is now when people look at the back of my head they can see the sides are very thick while crown and top have minimal coverage.

I've been dating a girl for a week now. I've been putting toppik in my hair. One night we were watching E! channel and Matt Damon shaved his head for a movie role and was being interviewed. She said "Ewww why did he do that to his hair?"

Now I'm terrified for her to see my head without toppik. Please finasteride save me.

 

[TravisB]

Now I'm terrified for her to see my head without toppik. Please finasteride save me.

I'm sorry but this sentence has made me laugh :mrgreen:

I'm wondering though what she would dislike more - bald head or inactive pee pee due to finasteride.

 

[idkwia]

Dudemon - great input. My razor is a Remington, I have had it 20 years and so there will be better ones on the market now. Having said that mine works fine, really easy. People think that buzzing your hair is difficult but it isn't it is easy.

Understand what you say about people either being ugly or not but don't agree that hair makes that much difference in the long run. There are millions of bald guys and 99% of them are married...............I rest my case.

I agree with what you said about transplants. A mate of mine had one and it looked pretty good for about a year but then he started losing more of his original hair and now he has these two islands of hair on the top of is head and that does look crazy.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Not all bald guys are equal. Every case is individual.

Very much agreed... OP should re-title this thread, "What it's really like going bald for me- my truth."

 

[s.a.f]

Understand what you say about people either being ugly or not but don't agree that hair makes that much difference in the long run. There are millions of bald guys and 99% of them are married...............I rest my case.

Yes but married to far less attractive women than if they had hair. Hair can make a huge difference it all depends if your Vin Diesel or Larry David.

Bald is beautiful.

Looks like we've got a Slybaldguy in our midst! :shakehead:

 

[HairPieceMan]

lol bald is beutiful

so i guess caucasians with full heads of hair should just rid themselves of their hair and be sly bald becuase its soo "beutiful".

honestly how many caucasians in their 20s/30s have actually got rid of their hair becuase they think its a good idea over having a full head of hair.

the first thign girls will tell you if you shave off bald is GROW YOUR HAIR BACK.

honestly 99% of people will think your clinically insane if you got rid off all your hair for choice in the main mating age 22-37 (im just making up that figure)

in fact, ANY AGE doesn't matter unless your vin diesel or black.

honelsty 99.9% of 25 year olds with full heads of hair ask ANY girl if its a good idea to get rid of ALL his hair entirely they will tell you that is THE WORST idea in the world for you to do, and THEY WILL KNOW if you're bald your not doign it for kicks.

and yes no one is saying ugly guys dont get SOME girls and get married to CERTAIN type of girls.

i've seen some pretty ugly guys that goes far beyond a typical bald guy in 20s before, but im sure he has some girl in his life, it doesnt suprise me, i see plenty of warpigs out there, women that resemble construction workers, wating for your "beutiful" bald head.

in fact when i put a picture of myself on a dating site (with hair and without hair) i got ZERO respose from girls bald, and with hair i got repose from large girls.

so arguably as long as im in my wig i can get large girls online dating (which online dating sucks anyway, becuase onyllarge girls responde to you)

 

[Heinrich]

Well, as women get older and their looks are starting to fade away they are increasingly willing (or should I say desperate?) to accept men with flaws such as hair loss or general ugliness. One can often hear such women say how they want a man who makes them feel "safe". And "safe" in this case means they are looking for a man who is willing to pay for them and her children. Do we really want such "women"?

 

[CaptainForehead]

Well Mark bell shaves his head (the younger guy in Bigger faster stronger)
http://images.t-nation.com/forum_images ... _after.jpg
And he looks better shaved, but thats cuz he has a symmterical face.

 

[idkwia]

I went bald before I was 25 and I had plenty of girlfriends. I am now 40 and have a very attractive partner.
Some people tragically lose limbs, or suffer horific facial burns or lose their sight and they go on to lead full and worthwhile lives and also get married. Of course they would much prefer not to be disabled and of course I would have preferred not to have lost my hair but the purpose of my story was to say that life doesn't end just because you go bald.
I suspect that the vast majority of people who visit this site are young guys who are worried about losing their hair in the same way as I was when I was younger and I am just trying to tell them what happened to me and how little effect it actually had on me when I look back.
Judging by some of the comments on this thread it seems that some of you are just wallowing in your own self pity and obessesed with you hair or lack of it and that is just the sort of behaviour I am saying is no good.
If you think that girls only go for good looking guys then that cuts out about 85% of males. The thing is, what is good looking to one person is not necessarily good looking to the next person.
I remember talking to one girl before I was bald, and we were just chatting and she said "ooh I really fancy that guy over there" and I said "which on" and she said "the bald one, bald guys really turn me on".
So I told my story and yes it was MY story. I am not a particularly good looking guy and I am not super confident either but I have learned from my own experience and talking to a lot of women about it that most women are not that bothered about looks, certainly nowhere near what some of you guys think and even then the fact that a man is bald very often doesn't make any difference.
Some women think that all guys like big chested women but of course that isn't true in the same way it isn't true that women don't like bald men.
With regard to only getting fat women. A friend of mine is a really good looking guy and he has a full head of hair and is 50 years old. His wife is enormous and I mean enormous, but he loves fat women.
Another friend of mine is 45 and he has been on a dating site. He is completely bald and yet he is meeting a different girl every week. He is not particularly good looking and he might even look better with hair but he is a great guy and a lot of fun to be with and the women just love him.
And to the guy on this thread who was talking about wearing a wig. I will tell you one thing that women hate more than anything................WIGS!
So guys, get off this site, accept yourself for the way you are, start displaying a bit of confidence and I can promise you it will be fine because it has been for me. I only wish I had had this advice when I was going bald.

 

[Heinrich]

idkwia, you definetly make a point and your input is appreciated. But may I ask what is your yearly income?

 

[CaptainForehead]

idkwia, you definetly make a point and your input is appreciated. But may I ask what is your yearly income?

:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :uglylol: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

 

[idkwia]

idkwia, you definetly make a point and your input is appreciated. But may I ask what is your yearly income?

Heinrich - if you can tell me what my yearly income has got to do with the subject of this thread I might tell you.
I am guessing that you are asking because you are thinking that despite my baldness I was still able to be successful with women due to having a lot of money. If that is the case I can tell you that when I first went bald I was poor and then as I became older I became more comfortable but certainly not wealthy. If you think that having a lot of money makes you more attractive to women then you are wrong. It might make you more attractive to gold diggers but who wants one of them? Not me that's for sure!

 

[uncomfortable man]

Bald is beautiful.

To reiterate your own point of preference... It is to some and not to others. The problem is that many people are influenced if not subconsciously by the media, which not only pertains to baldness but whatever is deemed unattractive as a whole. Although the media does portray baldness specifically in a bad light (most movie villains and monsters are bald) which has a direct correlation to public perception. And while there are many who accept it and get on with it the stigma persists. Being truly bald is not seen as a good thing in our society. Why else would there be a multimillion dollar industry that feeds off the insecurities of bald men? They are insecure for a reason... because society has deemed bald as NOT being beautiful.

 

[Heinrich]

Heinrich - if you can tell me what my yearly income has got to do with the subject of this thread I might tell you.
I am guessing that you are asking because you are thinking that despite my baldness I was still able to be successful with women due to having a lot of money. If that is the case I can tell you that when I first went bald I was poor and then as I became older I became more comfortable but certainly not wealthy. If you think that having a lot of money makes you more attractive to women then you are wrong. It might make you more attractive to gold diggers but who wants one of them? Not me that's for sure!

I wasn´t trying to offend you. I am just wondering. You claim to be neither good looking nor very confident. So what is your secret? And you also bring up your friends in their 40s who have no problem with women. I assume their girlfriends are at least in their 30s. Yes, at this stage of life women often care less about hair or looks in general. What attracts them is usually money (they like to describe it as "safety"....) or desperation because they are running out of time to start a family.
For a balding guy around 25 who is being rejected by women his age it is a cold comfort that a 35 years old woman might take him when he is 40.

Nevertheless I see what you are trying to tell the younger people here. I am not new to the hair loss game myself. It started around 5 years ago and I was very devastated at first. But then I started to have more and more serious problems in my life and realized how childish I was to think about killing myself because of hair loss. Probably the "best" way to not care about hair loss anymore would be to get diagnosed with cancer.....But same could be said about people with depression. Or just think about the starving people in third world countries how they would do anything to have our "problems".

Putting things into perspective may be useful for the newbies, but claiming that "bald is beautiful" only leads to anger among those affected.

 

[superfrankie]

Bald is beautiful.

To reiterate your own point of preference... It is to some and not to others. The problem is that many people are influenced if not subconsciously by the media, which not only pertains to baldness but whatever is deemed unattractive as a whole. Although the media does portray baldness specifically in a bad light (most movie villains and monsters are bald) which has a direct correlation to public perception. And while there are many who accept it and get on with it the stigma persists. Being truly bald is not seen as a good thing in our society. Why else would there be a multimillion dollar industry that feeds off the insecurities of bald men? They are insecure for a reason... because society has deemed bald as NOT being beautiful.

Excellent post here UCMan. Baldness ITSELF is perceived as a flaw for the human kind, no question. For some it can be considered as sexy or whatever but never beautiful. Beautiful is the wrong word for it. If that was not the case baldies would get leading parts in romantic Hollywood movies together with Nathalie Portman and the like. We all know its just not gonna happen.

 

[idkwia]

Listen guys, I have written quite a lot on this thread but some of you have just focussed in on one throw away phrase when I said "bald is beautiful". I didn't expect it to be taken seriously as it was just a throw away line, the fact that you have picked up on it just shows how inappropriately fixated you are on this whole bald issue. For the record, I agree that bald could not be considered as beautiful but it certainly is considered by a lot of women as sexy, masculine, manly and also for many as inconsequential. Anyway, to appease you I have removed the phrase.

Heinrich - my friend was bald at 20 and I was bald at 25. I didn't know my friend then but he told me that he never had problems with attracting women and now that I know him I can well believe that. As for me, as I have said, I also had no problems with women at that age. Were they falling at my feet? No of course they weren't but even really good looking guys don't get that sort of attention because not all women think the same. I expected that some women were going to find me attractive as a whole person as there is a lot more to me than being bald and I am sure there is a lot more to you guys; that is my point. If however you mope about worrying about your hair most of the time then you will not be attractive to anyone.

So as I have said earlier, get your hair cut really short, get off this site, focus on being positive about yourself, don't expect every woman to fancy you because nobody has that and you will be fine because that is what I did when I was young and it worked out great for me.

Famous people who are bald but considered very sexy and attractive by women:- Yul Brynner (Hollywood Actor had many lead roles), Andre Agassi (never stuggled for women and married Stffi Graf who probably had the best body ever in women's tennis), Errol (lead singer of Hot Chocolate, had loads of women), Grant Mitchell (was the hearthrob in the UK show Eastenders), James Blake (top 10 tennis player) Patrick Stewart (Star Trek), Bruce Willis (Die Hard), Telly Savalas (Kojak) and of course Jack Nicholson.