Why Is There So Little Written On Men's Troubles In Dating?

Min0

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Just wanted to update - got two matches from the speed dating. There were 18 girls there, and at the end you have to select 5 you want to meet, so it's easy to get a "miss" if you don't write down the girl that wrote you down (hard to tell, everyone's polite).

But either way I got two matches and I'm guessing more "liked" me since the people running it said I did "well" and I'm now on their list to call for free tickets if they have last minute openings. Pretty cool!

Again, I can't say enough about this for ugly but extroverted fun and ideally successful guys. 5 minutes isn't long enough to overcome all looks prejudice. But it obviously can beat back some of it. Which is pretty nice.

Gives you better odds than a bar/club where girls won't let you get past the first sentence or online where they just glance at your pic and put you on ignore.

I'm a mental and physical mess right now. I'm not sure if I want to date anyone right now. But I might give one a call. She was nice and reasonably attractive. Dating seems like such a foreign concept now. Last date I had was 2 years ago and before that maybe 10 years.

Alien territory.

I should at least see if I can her to go out for dinner and treat it like a friendly outing. Low pressure. I'll feel like a coward/a**h** if I don't. It's not like I get opportunities thrown at me every day. I'll send her an email maybe tomorrow or day after. I don't have the energy for it now.

That boosted my mood a bit. I have zero prospects in any other arena of dating, but I may have just found my niche that lets me get some success in a very low time commitment fashion. The whole thing was only 2 hours. If I did 2 hours of Tinder or POF, or at a bar or club, I'd have absolutely zero for it.

If they let me keep going I could do this once every few weeks and have a not bad social life.

This takes off an enormous amount of stress for me in my life. At least now I know there's a way I can get girls when I have more energy for it. Kind of blows my mind. I have to tell my sister thanks for bringing me. This gives me more hope for the future.
that's the thing bruh, you shouldn't take a extra effort to get girls, if you do then you WILL get hurt eventually.
i'm not busting your bubble man, i'm just afraid of what you might do if this fails, you seem like the kind of dude who kill himself over women.
take it easy man. women are overrated, and pussy smells like dead fish, and their periods is the most disgusting thing i've ever smelled in my life.
 

Afro_Vacancy

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Well think about it, who's gonna write the article? A women? Women have no insight in to male dating issues. And if a man were to write such an article? That would mean openly admitting to being inferior, not a very appealing endeavor.

Interestingly, both the therapist I'm seeing now and the therapist I saw a few years ago seem to understand things a little better.

They see ... lots of people who need help, a very wide range. Male problems, female problems, etc. The last one told me that among her younger clients it's usually men who have a hard time finding partners and that changes with age. The current one told me, for example, that men are more likely to feel pressure to be in a relationship, whereas women are ok being single.
 

Afro_Vacancy

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I don't mean to belabor this point further, there's a huge amount of advice written by and for men. However, it's not clear that any of it is any good.

There are the pickup artists charging a lot of men to sell their "skills". I think it's several hundred dollars an hour, but I don't know.

I see a lot of advice givers on youtube, for example Doctor Testosterone, and alpha.m.

I used to read askmen.com when I was younger but I no longer do. I remember they advised men to buy fancy cars to turn on women. I suspect that what they suggest now is that men purchase whatever perfumes, clothing, etc are advertised on their site. I looked them up now, here's this article written by a woman, she gives a suggested pickup line:
https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/how-to-turn-a-match-into-a-date.html
You: I used to bartend at a karaoke bar to save money for law school. I have the funniest karaoke story. But it’s way too embarrassing to tell on here. I could trade it for one of yours though?
Her: What if my story ends up being more embarrassing? I don’t know if that’s a fair deal.
You: Okay, loser buys a latte? Name your price!
What she's doing is writing out her fantasy and giving that as practical advice to men. It's a load of nonsense. She will meet you if she likes your pics and if she doesn't already have plans. And if she loves your pics, she'll make time in her schedule.

There's one guy with a blog, Doctor Nerdlove, who allegedly is there to give advice to awkward men on how to navigate women. I have not spent enough time on his blog to know, but what I suspect from the little bit that I've seen is that it's a complete shitshow of self-righteous virtue signaling. I would not be surprised if three or four women accused him of sexual assault via twitter.

If I ever get my life in order, I might write a book myself giving out a lot of this advice, but right now I have no credibility and thus I won't. I think that @shookwun and @WhitePolarBear have enough credibility, experience, and reason skills to competently interpret their experiences (three indispensable ingredients) to write or co-write a book.
 

IdealForehead

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that's the thing bruh, you shouldn't take a extra effort to get girls, if you do then you WILL get hurt eventually.
i'm not busting your bubble man, i'm just afraid of what you might do if this fails, you seem like the kind of dude who kill himself over women.
take it easy man. women are overrated, and pussy smells like dead fish, and their periods is the most disgusting thing i've ever smelled in my life.

Lol. I have zero interest in either of the girls i matched to so i don't care what happens. I'm just gonna try to go out with one because as stated i haven't dated in a long time and i think it would be good for me.

If i didn't take an extra effort to get girls i would never get girls. That's absurd. They're not gonna just come hit on me on the street.

I'm just happy i found a format (speed dating) where i actually stand a chance because people aren't able to instantly reject you based on your looks and have to get to know you a bit. That works to my advantage.

Loneliness is very unhealthy. I'm reminded of it every day by the news.
 
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IdealForehead

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I don't mean to belabor this point further, there's a huge amount of advice written by and for men. However, it's not clear that any of it is any good.

There are the pickup artists charging a lot of men to sell their "skills". I think it's several hundred dollars an hour, but I don't know.

I see a lot of advice givers on youtube, for example Doctor Testosterone, and alpha.m.

I used to read askmen.com when I was younger but I no longer do. I remember they advised men to buy fancy cars to turn on women. I suspect that what they suggest now is that men purchase whatever perfumes, clothing, etc are advertised on their site. I looked them up now, here's this article written by a woman, she gives a suggested pickup line:
https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/how-to-turn-a-match-into-a-date.html

What she's doing is writing out her fantasy and giving that as practical advice to men. It's a load of nonsense. She will meet you if she likes your pics and if she doesn't already have plans. And if she loves your pics, she'll make time in her schedule.

There's one guy with a blog, Doctor Nerdlove, who allegedly is there to give advice to awkward men on how to navigate women. I have not spent enough time on his blog to know, but what I suspect from the little bit that I've seen is that it's a complete shitshow of self-righteous virtue signaling. I would not be surprised if three or four women accused him of sexual assault via twitter.

If I ever get my life in order, I might write a book myself giving out a lot of this advice, but right now I have no credibility and thus I won't. I think that @shookwun and @WhitePolarBear have enough credibility, experience, and reason skills to competently interpret their experiences (three indispensable ingredients) to write or co-write a book.

Dr. Nerdlove is terrible. His advice is useless. He's not even ugly (at least he wasn't in youth) so he has no idea what it's like to be unattractive, yet talks down to ugly guys, short guys, and minorities constantly telling us anything we complain about is all in our heads.
 

Afro_Vacancy

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Dr. Nerdlove is terrible. His advice is useless. He's not even ugly (at least he wasn't in youth) so he has no idea what it's like to be unattractive, yet talks down to ugly guys, short guys, and minorities constantly telling us anything we complain about is all in our heads.

You're validating my impression.

I've seen one photo of him, he's a 6.0 or 6.5/10 in my opinion, and he has a niche due to his masculine look.
 

Min0

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@Min0 is that you in your profile pic?
shia labeouf
Lol. I have zero interest in either of the girl's i matched to so i don't care what happens. I'm just gonna try to go out with one because as stated i haven't dated in a long time and i think it would be good for me.

If i didn't take an extra effort to get girls i would never get girls. That's absurd. They're not gonna just come hit on me on the street.

I'm just happy i found a format (speed dating) where i actually stand a chance because people aren't able to instantly reject you based on your looks and have to get to know you a bit. That works to my advantage.

Loneliness is very unhealthy. I'm reminded of it every day by the news.
whatever floats your boat, just take it easy man.
 

NimuDash

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Because of PUAs and their reputation.
Because you are supposed to be natural at birth, handle women with ease even if you still have the brain of a child.
Because men are supposed to be perfect without putting any effort.
 

barfacan

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Because of PUAs and their reputation.
Because you are supposed to be natural at birth, handle women with ease even if you still have the brain of a child.
Because men are supposed to be perfect without putting any effort.

Women are excellent at filtering out the best genetics for men. You see if you put in effort to maximize your appearance, that constitutes FRAUD, you can't fraud good genetics -- it's bad for the species. Women's sociobiological imperative is to continue to produce the highest quality children for the upcoming generations, and they have an excellent sense for it when choosing mates -- good for the species, bad for tortured betas. I guess this was good in tribal societies where physical fitness was extremely important just for survival, brains haven't evolved enough to discard this need.

Obviously in modern age this simply cannot work because you need a certain % of people within society to be productive in order to ensure stability, men can take a lot of pain, but there's always a breaking point -- sh*t on them enough and they'll just collectively say f*** IT. Women have little control over this 'alpha male' seeking behavior, that's why a healthy functioning society is supposed to keep it in check, hence things go so awry in sexually deregulated societies, it's happened in history many times over. Give women more rights / freedoms / protections and watch society destabilize and get invaded shortly thereafter. Too many men start to feel like they have no purpose and simply begin to 'check out' as they say....

Maybe it's changing now with video games, VR p**rn, sexdolls, prescription drugs? today it's easier to control men and drain them of their very essence, make them so weak that they can't possibly rebel, but you need to maintain enough level of productivity to offset these bums, so the rulers import third world working class immigrants, tax the middle class (who can't fight back), enforce stronger social programs. Great recipe for a healthy civilization!
 
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Afro_Vacancy

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what about those kinda feminine boy band idols who teen girls gush over?
you ask me, attractive is attractive whether masculine or androgynous.
but at very least i agree that if you're on the average to unattractive side, its better to look masculine and unattractive than feminine and unattractive

Teen girls prefer relatively more effeminate guys, it's been that way for a long time, plausibly forever.

Adult women care about height, frame, masculine things like a deep voice or having a lot of hair on their forearms.
 

SteveTabernack

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Teen girls prefer relatively more effeminate guys, it's been that way for a long time, plausibly forever.

Adult women care about height, frame, masculine things like a deep voice or having a lot of hair on their forearms.

Why are you always going on about hair on forearms haha? Dosen't matter at all.

If hair on arms had anywhere near the significance of hair on head I would be such a slayer
 

Exodus2011

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Teen girls prefer relatively more effeminate guys, it's been that way for a long time, plausibly forever.

Adult women care about height, frame, masculine things like a deep voice or having a lot of hair on their forearms.
Football chads get so many teen girls tho
 

Afro_Vacancy

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Why are you always going on about hair on forearms haha? Dosen't matter at all.

Random example from my feed the other day:
Kayleigh Donaldson
Happy birthday to Stanley Tucci and his magnificent forearms!
1:42 PM - Nov 11, 2017
DOX1nVHWkAAFHry.jpg

DOX1ot8XkAI6iY2.jpg

DOX1p8WW0AEgwY0.jpg


If hair on arms had anywhere near the significance of hair on head I would be such a slayer
Plausibly a cope.
 

wintop6211

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I honestly feel sorry for American dude, you guys need to work so hard to get an atleast f**kable female considering that over 50% obesity rate for US women. Saw too many above average male + average or below average female couples.
 
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