Why losing hair is/can be a big deal for the hair loss-individual.

[HatPrisoner91]

Actually I guessed you were in IT because in IT looks aren't as important. You think I just happened to pull IT out of a hat? In every job situation other than small minority, looks matter. Sorry but they just do.

And yes I grew up with big parents and was big and worked out, dieted (as I have said in a previous post) and got myself in shape. But it's a constant struggle. Point is and I'm gonna say this again:
THERE IS SOMETHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT

Meanwhile, with being bald, there is nothing I can other wear a wig which isn't doing a thing about it. It's a cover up and a life of hell, which yes I have experienced.

Speaking of misquoting, did I call it a COMPLETE CURE? Please show me where. However, can you deny that fat people have had this surgery and then stayed thin? Sure, to me, it's a lazy person's treatment but at least it exists. There is no diet, no exercise, no surgery that will give me my hair back.

Again, speaking of misquoting, please point me to where I said they can't have a real opinion on hairloss. I said they cannot call themselves BALD, and that they can't sit there and preach to people who are bald that they are doing, so bald people can do. It would be like me having a benign tumor removed and preaching to full blown cancer patients to "get over it" because I did.

And sorry, I have a job, and a life. But it doesn't change the fact that it bothers me. Meanwhile you have nw3's whining and preaching like they have any idea what this is like. Many of them take al these pills and lotions and all this stuff. Why? So they don't end up bald.

 

[Ori83]

thats true, nw3 is where things start to change...

 

[uncomfortable man]

To direct back to the title of the thread, it is obviously a big deal because a component of your identity will be forever lost and how drastically it can alter your appearance (and others perceptions of you) for the worse. It is a big deal, when it happens to you.

 

[GeminiX]

Actually I guessed you were in IT because in IT looks aren't as important. You think I just happened to pull IT out of a hat? In every job situation other than small minority, looks matter. Sorry but they just do.

And yes I grew up with big parents and was big and worked out, dieted (as I have said in a previous post) and got myself in shape. But it's a constant struggle. Point is and I'm gonna say this again:
THERE IS SOMETHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT

Meanwhile, with being bald, there is nothing I can other wear a wig which isn't doing a thing about it. It's a cover up and a life of hell, which yes I have experienced.

Speaking of misquoting, did I call it a COMPLETE CURE? Please show me where. However, can you deny that fat people have had this surgery and then stayed thin? Sure, to me, it's a lazy person's treatment but at least it exists. There is no diet, no exercise, no surgery that will give me my hair back.

Again, speaking of misquoting, please point me to where I said they can't have a real opinion on hairloss. I said they cannot call themselves BALD, and that they can't sit there and preach to people who are bald that they are doing, so bald people can do. It would be like me having a benign tumor removed and preaching to full blown cancer patients to "get over it" because I did.

And sorry, I have a job, and a life. But it doesn't change the fact that it bothers me. Meanwhile you have nw3's whining and preaching like they have any idea what this is like. Many of them take al these pills and lotions and all this stuff. Why? So they don't end up bald.

Good grief you're tedious, moving the goal posts again...

Guessed I was in IT? I'm a technical architect which is broadly IT but is more to do with business processes. You also keep deliberately disregarding the huge numbers of people I work with from all parts of a business. Also, what has this got to do with my points that you're disagreeing with?

I'm glad to hear you got over your obesity, but not everyone can. You think people who can't lose weight just because you did are lazy? Well I'm not lazy, I work my backside off in fact, but thanks for your opinion. Do *you* deny that if someone is fortunate enough to have lost their excess weight through surgery, they are left with sagging excess skin? Also, I made this exact point several pages ago, I have no idea whether your ranting is agreeing or arguing with me.

I've also experienced being bald, NW5/6 (not really sure); I was lucky enough to have been able to reverse it to a degree. It sucked, but it didn't get in the way of my life or cause significant problems at the time.

You then go on about misquoting, well I didn't quote you at all. From what you said in your earlier post (and it's still there unless you edit it) You make it clear that you feel that once an overweight person loses weight that's all there is to it. Had you not believed that you would have not argued with my point about it being psychological. Twist things all you like, but you know exactly what you were implying when you wrote that.

As for the second time you say I'm misquoting you. Well once again, I'm not quoting you. And again, I stand by what I said. Trying to split hairs now by claiming that having an opinion on hair loss is some how different to having an opinion on being bald is just silly.

Also, by saying "It would be like me having a benign tumor removed and preaching to full blown cancer patients to "get over it" because I did." (I quoted you), isn't that exactly what you just did by comparing yourself to morbidly obese people when you say you were "big" but you got over it therefore so can anyone else.

Finally, you have a job. Well good for you, but again I'm not sure what that has to do with my comments that you're disagreeing with.

Anyhoo, I have no doubt you'll come back and move the goal posts again so how about instead you let the thread get back on topic.

edit: grammar and spelling.

 

[Obsidian]

The funny thing about these people arguing about weight loss and people just being told to lose weight/get weight loss surgery and then be fine, the same could be argued about hair loss. You're losing hair/bald? Get on meds, an hair transplant, or a wig and then your fine. Then people who say about the wig/hair transplant 'the psychology of it all' what do you think the heavy person who loses massive amounts of weight feels when he takes off his shirt? Even after the person loses the weight the person still may view himself as fat just as the man who gets an hair transplant/wig still sees himself as bald.

 

[BrightonBaldy]

GeminiX, like I said before, you live on a diffrent world to us, different rules apply to you and your perception of the world around you is not in line with ours.

As I also said, anybody who goes through the trauma, expense and soul searching you have, to reflect an internal image of yourself externally has a different make up to the rest of us here. Infact you of all people should appreciate that we get down and pissed when we cant look how we want to look, read a bit deeper into the baldness sob stories about being ugly and maybe youill find that you once felt exactly the same way.

 

[GeminiX]

GeminiX, like I said before, you live on a diffrent world to us, different rules apply to you and your perception of the world around you is not in line with ours.

As I also said, anybody who goes through the trauma, expense and soul searching you have, to reflect an internal image of yourself externally has a different make up to the rest of us here. Infact you of all people should appreciate that we get down and pissed when we cant look how we want to look, read a bit deeper into the baldness sob stories about being ugly and maybe youill find that you once felt exactly the same way.

Have you actually ever read any of my posts when I comment on my life when I was bald and ugly, or are you just seeing "transsexual" and plucking the rest from your imagination?

The last time you tried to discount my views, you based it on the fact that even though I only transitioned a couple of years ago, it somehow had a positive effect on my career for the two decades prior to that. So based on your past record of frankly absurd ideas I should probably just ignore this latest gambit. But hey, it's the middle of the night and I can't sleep, so I'll bite. Actually, I'm genuinely curious to see how you manage to shoehorn my views and experiences of obesity into gender issues.

Just so I fully understand what you're trying to say though, my being bald, ugly, overweight and even spending time being homeless is fine and allows me the privilege of being able to argue a point, but throw in transsexual and suddenly it's "shuuuuuuunnnnn the non believer".

Charlie reference aside, is that about right?

 

[BrightonBaldy]

GeminiX, like I said before, you live on a diffrent world to us, different rules apply to you and your perception of the world around you is not in line with ours.

As I also said, anybody who goes through the trauma, expense and soul searching you have, to reflect an internal image of yourself externally has a different make up to the rest of us here. Infact you of all people should appreciate that we get down and pissed when we cant look how we want to look, read a bit deeper into the baldness sob stories about being ugly and maybe youill find that you once felt exactly the same way.

Have you actually ever read any of my posts when I comment on my life when I was bald and ugly, or are you just seeing "transsexual" and plucking the rest from your imagination?

The last time you tried to discount my views, you based it on the fact that even though I only transitioned a couple of years ago, it somehow had a positive effect on my career for the two decades prior to that. So based on your past record of frankly absurd ideas I should probably just ignore this latest gambit. But hey, it's the middle of the night and I can't sleep, so I'll bite. Actually, I'm genuinely curious to see how you manage to shoehorn my views and experiences of obesity into gender issues.

Just so I fully understand what you're trying to say though, my being bald, ugly, overweight and even spending time being homeless is fine and allows me the privilege of being able to argue a point, but throw in transsexual and suddenly it's "shuuuuuuunnnnn the non believer".

Charlie reference aside, is that about right?

Pretty much, its like saying 'I'm not racist! I've had black friends, asian friends and dated chinese women.. except that one time some n*gger tried to short change me for £1 at the petrol station, I cant trust them'. No doubt you'll pick out the obvious come back here and say 'NOW YOURE COMPARING ME TO A RACIST!!?!', but I'd hope you arent that stupid.

Being bald, fat, homeless etc is one thing, being a transexual is another, none of the former life problems were brought about through an internal desire to change, whereas being a transexual was a conscious life altering process that wasnt forced upon you. That shows us that you have a unique mind around these parts, not everybody has a personality/identity that forces itself to be externalised, as your mind is different it also perceives the world around them in a different way, hence why your comments on here about how bald people in the world are judged dont tie in with the experiences of 99% of this message board.

Forgetting being a transexual, it doesnt matter a toss to me or anybody else on here. Anybody who feels the need to radically alter the way they look to satisfy something going on in their head will see the world differently, if you/me/anyone took the decision to cover ourselves in tatoos and piercings theyd probably have the same outlook as you do, ie how you look doesnt matter.

Your experiences of being bald before being transexual is as irrelavent as somebody saying they arent racist and THEN reffering to somebody as a n*gger. Just as the racist probably held the same prejudices in all of his previous experiences and friendships before letting it out, your previous experiences will have been clouded by the same unique mind that drove you to make massive alterations to the way you look.

 

[BrightonBaldy]

and yes, I'm always right, its a bloody curse :sobbing:

 

[GeminiX]

I struggled through the first paragraph of your rant thinking "huh?", then I got to the second paragraph and realised how misinformed you are.

being a transexual was a conscious life altering process that wasnt forced upon you.

You really think I decided to do this for fun or something? You actually believe I woke up one day and thought "ooh, I need some lip gloss".

The idea that I'm making some brave lifestyle choice just like people who choose to cover themselves in tattoos, well fair play, you gave me a good laugh.

You really should try to learn a bit about the people you're flaming before making yourself look so foolish.

I'll give you a tiny little clue to get you started. Gender dysphoria is something we're born with, it's been there all my life, I didn't choose it and so yes, it absolutely was FORCED UPON ME.

 

[BrightonBaldy]

Youve just proved everything I typed! You were born with a mind that was different to the rest of us on here, hence why your perceptions of the world and your memories of it are also different. It's also why you say things like ""You really think I decided to do this?"" in every post, if youve got a question just ask me and once I respond, THEN make a reply. Dont just type a question, assume the answer yourself and then go on to argue against it as you did with ""I didn't wake up one day and think, "ooh, I need some lip gloss".You don't chose to be a transsexual, you're born with it."". How do you know thats what I think?

Infact I actually typed these words "not everybody has a personality/identity that forces itself to be externalised, as your mind is different it also perceives the world around them in a different way", its further proof that you see the world and process its information differently, you flat out ignorred what I said in order to make your comeback.

All you've done here is prove to me that you should not be making comments on a lads in their early 20's who are nervous about going for job interviews, you have nothing of worth to share with them.


If you want to have a whine about me saying being transexual means youve a different mental make-up than the rest of us, then you'll be typing at a brick wall as I wont be reading it.

 

[GeminiX]

You're a bigot and you're talking crap.

The fact that you seem to think you know all about what it's like to have the mind of a transsexual, yet believe it's a lifestyle choice, shows all anyone needs to know about the value of your opinion.

 

[BrightonBaldy]

Pretty much what I expected, same twist feminists, gay rights activists, racial activisits etc... use a personality trait (transexualism) as a point of reference for every arguement you make, so that when somebody disagrees with you on anything, they are a bigot. As you yourself have used transexualism to victimise yourself despite me saying that it wouldnt matter if you were a transecual or not. By default being a 'bigot' in your eyes makes me an inhuman zombie brainwashed by the nazi party, so everything you ever read from me will now be through your magic bigot specs.

Catch a fking grip of yourself :thumbdown2:


I think its best we just leave it here.

 

[BrightonBaldy]

One last point, cant let this one go .....

The fact that you seem to think you know all about what it's like to have the mind of a transsexual

So you admit that your mind is different, yet claim to know the mind of somebody who isnt a transexual.. I've never claimed to know what goes on in your head, theres no way I could, I've no experience of it, all I've said its different and you actually agree with me.

If its ok for you to say the mind of a transexual isnt the same as the rest of us, then why isnt it ok for me to say the same thing?



Sorry I forgot, I'M a bigot, everything I've ever psoted is now redundant.

 

[GeminiX]

If you want to have a whine about me saying being transexual means youve a different mental make-up than the rest of us, then you'll be typing at a brick wall as I wont be reading it.

Definition of BIGOT

: a person who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices, refuses to accommodate the views of others.

 

[GeminiX]

Good grief, I can hardly believe I'm bothering to defend myself from someone like you!

Being transsexual does not give me an alien brain, it's about gender; I have the same fears, lacks of confidence, nerves etc. as everyone else, I've just found a way to get over it and prove myself. I do admit that I get attacked a lot (like here for example) and that has probably given me more opportunities to build my defences against the other people like you in the world, and this is something I've admitted to several times.

The idea you have that because I'm transsexual somehow means I don't care what people think about me it utterly ludicrous. If anything I care even more, I just don't allow my fears to have too much impact on my life.

You really are sounding like a complete dick, this is pretty much the biggest load of crap I've ever seen on this forum.

edit:
Ok, taking a deep breath here. Is this *really* what you think? Are you actually trying to be so hurtful or were you genuinely uninformed and are now just getting defensive when some of the things you thought you understood turned out to be incorrect.

If you're deliberately trying to be nasty, then don't bother to reply; if however you genuinely had a misunderstanding about gender dysphoria then we can continue in PM or something.

 

[BrightonBaldy]

Why are you upset? The only point I've made is that you being a transexual shows us youve a different mental make up to the rest of us (you agreed) and are thus poorly placed to comment on the lives of the vast majority of this website.


Where have I said I give a toss about you being a transexual? Where have I mentioned gender? Look at my username, I live in Brighton ffs, on my way to work every morning I see guys in thongs cycling past me and transexuals sitting cudding each other on the beach! Most of the pubs I goto arent even that distinctly gay or straight, I've nothing to prove when it comes to accepting people whatever way they want.


"The idea you have that because I'm transsexual somehow means I don't care what people think about me it utterly ludicrous"

Yet again, putting words into my mouth and reacting to them... please cut and paste where I said you being a transexual means you dont care about the world. Youre the one who cannot distinguish between being a transexual and seeing the world in a different way, I do not have that problem.

Your last post is exactly what I thought you'd type previous to it, youre victimising yourself, I couldnt give a sh1t if your transexual or not. I do give a sh1t that you feel qualified to talk about how the likes of myself, who is 27 years old and bald, gets treated in the workplace, given that youve a different outlook on the world, as you say yourself youve had it since birth.




Why are you upset? The only point I've made is that you being a transexual shows us youve a different mental make up to the rest of us (you agreed) and are thus poorly placed to comment on the lives of the vast majority of this website.

Why are you upset? The only point I've made is that you being a transexual shows us youve a different mental make up to the rest of us (you agreed) and are thus poorly placed to comment on the lives of the vast majority of this website.

Why are you upset? The only point I've made is that you being a transexual shows us youve a different mental make up to the rest of us (you agreed) and are thus poorly placed to comment on the lives of the vast majority of this website.


please stop victimising yourself, nobody is having a go at you for being different, nobody cares one way or another.

 

[GeminiX]

I've never claimed to know what goes on in your head, theres no way I could, I've no experience of it, all I've said its different and you actually agree with me.

"The idea you have that because I'm transsexual somehow means I don't care what people think about me it utterly ludicrous"

Yet again, putting words into my mouth and reacting to them... please cut and paste where I said you being a transexual means you dont care about the world.

Okie doke:

Anybody who feels the need to radically alter the way they look to satisfy something going on in their head will see the world differently, if you/me/anyone took the decision to cover ourselves in tatoos and piercings theyd probably have the same outlook as you do, ie how you look doesnt matter.

Right there you're saying that how I look doesn't matter to me, and you're saying what is going on in my head. Still going to claim I'm putting words in your mouth?

Just to reiterate here, how I look and how I am perceived matters very much to me, in fact recently I've discovered it matters far more to me than I previously thought. I am driven to fit in with society, I am constantly concious about my appearance and am in the process of a lot of surgery to put that right. I'm frankly still bewildered that you can compare gender dysphoria and the desire to "fit in", with people who are deliberately and exaggeratedly extrovert (heavily tattooed people).

Also, just to be clear, I didn't agree that I have a different mental make-up; you made that leap when I questioned you on you why you felt you know what is going on in the mind of a transsexual, based on your original assumptions that I linked at the start of this thread. Those were *YOUR* assumptions and claims, not mine.

So I'll repeat, that belief of yours (or at least had) that how I look and what people think about how I look does not matter is utterly ludicrous, as is the idea that I perceive things differently. The only thing I do have is a new perspective post transition, but that is an entirely different thing.

Just because I've been able to be successful *DESPITE* how I look is through confidence and self belief. Pretty much the same as a lot of balding people who lack confidence because of how they feel about their appearance.

Why are you upset? The only point I've made is that you being a transexual shows us youve a different mental make up to the rest of us (you agreed) and are thus poorly placed to comment on the lives of the vast majority of this website.

Why exactly? As I've said (repeatedly), I have exactly the same fears and doubts as every other human being. Why do you seem to believe that being transsexual means I'm immune to the same things as everyone else? I just get more opportunities to deal with the crap society throws at us.

Let's look at your opening argument against me:

Being bald, fat, homeless etc is one thing, being a transexual is another, none of the former life problems were brought about through an internal desire to change, whereas being a transexual was a conscious life altering process that wasnt forced upon you.

So right there, quite clearly you're stating that the reason my opinions don't count in some regard is because you believe I made a lifestyle choice about being transsexual, a "conscious life altering process that wasnt forced upon you." Your exact words.

So I point out that you're completely incorrect and being transsexual is something we're born with, and without breaking your stride you come back with:

Youve just proved everything I typed!

Really? You interpret my pointing out several areas in what you typed as utterly incorrect and somehow declare that it's proving EVERYTHING you typed. I honestly don't know how to counter that, you're just making up your own "facts" in your head or something. You completely flip your argument when you realise you were wrong in your earlier assumption and still try to maintain you're correct, staggering.

It's also why you say things like ""You really think I decided to do this?"" in every post

Again, here you go with the crazy statements! I've made quite a few posts on this forum over the years; I'm pretty sure I don't say that (or things like it) in every post I make; I doubt it's even 5%. Maybe a dozen times when people make silly assumptions about my life.

please stop victimising yourself, nobody is having a go at you for being different, nobody cares one way or another.

I'm not victimising myself, and your implying it repeatability does not make it true. I've posted why I believe you're a bigot (the bit where you said you're not interested in reading my counter-argument and you won't read it). However to say you're "not having a go" is silly. Your whole argument against me seems to be based on your belief that I'm different to other people, therefore you believe I'm not entitled to an opinion on some things; you've stated this repeatedly. To try to then say the complete opposite in the last line of your post is absurd. My views on this thread were about obesity and comparisons with hair loss, *YOU* are the one who attacked my posts here are tried to invalidate them based on my condition (and I still don't see how you feel my experience on obesity, or anything else I comment on is invalid because I'm transsexual).

This discussion is like trying to herd cats around, it's actually a bit surreal. You're just changing parts of your point of view or trying to say you said something else even when it's quoted and visible to everyone, it's bizarre.

As you said already though, you're going to ignore my posts about this so I won't hold my breath for a response.

 

[Petchsky]

Posting that GeminiX's views/opinions are irrelevent and that she has a different mindset to the rest of us, seems to me to be a polite of way of being prejudiced. You're seperating her from yourself and the rest of the forum by typing this, and singling her out as being 'different'....for all you know i'm typing this wearing a bra and suspenders, one hand typing, the other applying lipstick, does that make me different and my opinion irrelevent?

Hopefully this is the end of the discussion.

 

[barcafan]

Dont you think you're spending a little too much energy arguing with someone over the internet?