You Guys May Like This - Women On Ageing

[tellersquill]

I've often though that one of the most challenging aspects of hair loss is the loss you have in looks. As others have said, you can take a man and judge him a 6 or 7, but if you were to take away his hair then he would become a 4 or a 5. Obviously this is devastating. The man could have dated easily in the past, but now he has lost most of his seductive power and he must now be either celibate or settle for less than desirable females.

This is, of course, quite brutal.

But it had me thinking - perhaps everyone goes through this. After all, we all age at some point. And so I had a quite search across the internet and found that women have the exact same issues. In fact, many of them found it just as devastating losing their looks with age as you men do with your hair.

They bemoan no longer getting hit on; no more flirting; no more privilege; less sex; feeling ugly etc.

So here is the thread that showed me that we go through it and that ageing (or becoming uglier) is something we all go through on a long enough time scale: https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromo...iful_women_of_reddit_how_have_you_dealt_with/

 

[resu]

Hair loss isn't just about making you look older, it's a goofy look, it makes you look like a loser, that you don't take care of yourself even though it's just a genetic condition taking its course.

If women don't get fat then it's half the battle won for them.

 

[Roberto_72]

Hair loss isn't just about making you look older, it's a goofy look, it makes you look like a loser, that you don't that care of yourself even though it's just a genetic condition taking its course.

If women don't get fat then it's half the battle won for them.

Plus, for most women who are not balding, ageing starts to become a problem at... 30? 35? When they are already fully grown and have already lived their youth at "full" speed.

We have people here who were told they looked 35 when they where 20, all because of hairloss.

Ageing deprives you of a second youth. Premature hairloss deprives you of your actual youth.

 

[Captain Rex]

Plus, for most women who are not balding, ageing starts to become a problem at... 30? 35? When they are already fully grown and have already lived their youth at "full" speed.

We have people here who were told they looked 35 when they where 20, all because of hairloss.

Ageing deprives you of a second youth. Premature hairloss deprives you of your actual youth.

Damn true.

 

[tellersquill]

Plus, for most women who are not balding, ageing starts to become a problem at... 30? 35? When they are already fully grown and have already lived their youth at "full" speed.

We have people here who were told they looked 35 when they where 20, all because of hairloss.

Ageing deprives you of a second youth. Premature hairloss deprives you of your actual youth.

True, but I can see that even myself, as a man at 30, nobody wants to lose their looks.

Also, I don't think you ever get tired of wanting to be attractive. Nobody wants to be ugly.

I think these women go through what a lot of balding men go through in their own way.

They are all getting uglier and struggling to deal with it

 

[resu]

True, but I can see that even myself, as a man at 30, nobody wants to lose their looks.

Also, I don't think you ever get tired of wanting to be attractive. Nobody wants to be ugly.

I think these women go through what a lot of balding men go through in their own way.

They are all getting uglier and struggling to deal with it

If they're attractive they can do peelings, apply tretinoin and vitamin c tonics, use a little makeup and they can remain attractive till most of their 30's if they watch their weight, do some fitness and stay out of the sun.

A bald person will get flack from men, from women, from children, from work colleagues, from strangers, from close relatives, from their own family... to me it's not close. Of course women lose social status and some can't deal with the fact that they're not as popular as they once were in their 16-24 period but that's because they failed to adjust and evolve, with baldness there's nothing to work with.

 

[tellersquill]

If they're attractive they can do peelings, apply tretinoin and vitamin c tonics, use a little makeup and they can remain attractive till most of their 30's if they watch their weight, do some fitness and stay out of the sun.

A bald person will get flack from men, from women, from children, from work colleagues, from strangers, from close relatives, from their own family... to me it's not close. Of course women lose social status and some can't deal with the fact that they're not as popular as they once were in their 16-24 period but that's because they failed to adjust and evolve, with baldness there's nothing to work with.

Do you think an average over forty male will actually get picked on and mocked.

Take this guy for example:

Average hairline for a man of his age. I doubt anyone cares. He could probably still slay the over 45s

 

[Roberto_72]

Do you think an average over forty male will actually get picked on and mocked.

Take this guy for example:
View attachment 46529

Average hairline for a man of his age. I doubt anyone cares. He could probably still slay the over 45s

I am sincerely bored to see movie stars as an example of how everyday life can be for the rest of us.

 

[DoctorHouse]

True, but I can see that even myself, as a man at 30, nobody wants to lose their looks.

Also, I don't think you ever get tired of wanting to be attractive. Nobody wants to be ugly.

I think these women go through what a lot of balding men go through in their own way.

They are all getting uglier and struggling to deal with it

I have mentioned this before, as you age, if you get the complement you look great for you age, I would say it's an underhand complement that you still look attractive. All you can do is stay fit, protect your skin from the sun, use good skin products, don't smoke, and in our case try to keep as much hair as you can whether it be with medical treatment or hair transplants. I know genetics will be knocking at your door but with new technology, you can prolong looking older if you value your looks.

Joan, once mentioned most men age better than women. Women have to put more effort into staying young looking and staying fit. I think the biggest struggle I notice with women as they age is their weight. Most women become emotional rollercoasters and their weight tends to increase during their journey. Also once they have children sometimes they never get back to their pre child birth weight. However, as most as stated before hair loss is much harder to fight than weight gain.

I can't tell you how many times I read, I won't care about my hair when I am 40 or above. I got news for you whatever you care about now about your looks, you will care about it in your 40's and above. Maybe you will be more secure about it when everyone around you is experiencing it but when you see the genetically elite, you will be sadly reminded of what you could of had if you were just as fortunate.

I guess that is the only time I am reminded of what I wish I had versus what I do have. And now I realize all those years I wallowed in self pity because of body image problems has just made my life full of nothing but regrets. The only way out, is to surround myself with people who have the same issues and try to work together to try to find ways to suppress those thoughts. When I see people who seem to have it all kill themselves I realize just how much looks( or even fame and riches) really cannot save you if you are as Dante puts it, "messed up, emotionally and mentally damaged". That is why people find certain "addictions" as way to cope with these "demons" inside us. Whether it be drugs, food, sex, or alcohol, I think everyone has a vice how to cope. And if none of those work, I guess suicide becomes the last resort. I am glad we have this forum because this "addition" might just be enough to keep you going without too many negative side effects.

 

[Roberto_72]

I can't tell you how many times I read, I won't care about my hair when I am 40 or above.

Isn't that the third phase of grief?
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining

 

[tellersquill]

I am sincerely bored to see movie stars as an example of how everyday life can be for the rest of us.

I used him as an example because I think he looks a bit like your average man on the street (over forty)

 

[tellersquill]

Isn't that the third phase of grief?
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining

I really hope I don't care half as much but I think it will still bother me.

Lets hope we have a hair solution by 2026

 

[DoctorHouse]

Isn't that the third phase of grief?
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining

Maybe a combination of 1 and 3 due to 2

 

[DoctorHouse]

I really hope I don't care half as much but I think it will still bother me.

Lets hope we have a hair solution by 2026

Well at least we now know your thoughts of suicide have lessened. You are still planning for your future

 

[tellersquill]

Well at least we now know your thoughts of suicide have lessened. You are still planning for your future

Honestly, it comes and goes.

I think the two biggest fears of getting older right now is:

-finding a career that I can stand and earn money from

-losing my hair and looking like hell and then not being able to date or be with someone.

Those two scare the hell out of me.

I'm applying for a scheme to work in an indian orphanage for a year in sept 2017. Its not a long term fix at all but its something I want to do and it gives me time to settle.

I've lived a mostly selfish life and I want to give back to those less fortunate for a year of my life. The thought of it is helping me stay alive.

 

[DoctorHouse]

Honestly, it comes and goes.

I think the two biggest fears of getting older right now is:

-finding a career that I can stand and earn money from

-losing my hair and looking like hell and then not being able to date or be with someone.

Those two scare the hell out of me.

I'm applying for a scheme to work in an indian orphanage for a year in sept 2017. Its not a long term fix at all but its something I want to do and it gives me time to settle.

I've lived a mostly selfish life and I want to give back to those less fortunate for a year of my life. The thought of it is helping me stay alive.

You already know you look great with a buzz cut. Actually, I saw photos of you on another forum and you look so much better with a buzz cut than with your hair grown out. You will always be able to date no matter how old you are so that is not a true limiting belief. My mom's neighbor who is 90 is still dating. My grandfather dated until he was 90 and even carried v**** with him just in case he could convince someone his age to have sex but most of them declined. As far as your career, anything you do with an act of "paying it forward" will be enough to keep you appreciating what you do. You have alot going for you. I would gladly trade places with you any time.

 

[resu]

Do you think an average over forty male will actually get picked on and mocked.

Take this guy for example:
View attachment 46529

Average hairline for a man of his age. I doubt anyone cares. He could probably still slay the over 45s

He would probably be a ghost and at best he could find a 30 something woman with kids. To me it's all about the consequences.

 

[tellersquill]

You already know you look great with a buzz cut. Actually, I saw photos of you on another forum and you look so much better with a buzz cut than with your hair grown out. You will always be able to date no matter how old you are so that is not a true limiting belief. My mom's neighbor who is 90 is still dating. My grandfather dated until he was 90 and even carried v**** with him just in case he could convince someone his age to have sex but most of them declined. As far as your career, anything you do with an act of "paying it forward" will be enough to keep you appreciating what you do. You have alot going for you. I would gladly trade places with you any time.

Thanks for the compliment.

I think I just don't like the bald look on myself and I really don't want to lose it all. Its hard to explain.

 

[DoctorHouse]

Do you think an average over forty male will actually get picked on and mocked.

Take this guy for example:
View attachment 46529

Average hairline for a man of his age. I doubt anyone cares. He could probably still slay the over 45s

His hairline is way below average if you compare his to hispanics where I live. I think he is slightly below average for a caucasian male.

 

[DoctorHouse]

Thanks for the compliment.

I think I just don't like the bald look on myself and I really don't want to lose it all. Its hard to explain.

As long as you get a transplant, you can maintain a low Norwood buzz cut. I don't think you are heading for a high Norwood anytime soon.