A Lesson To All Hair Loss Sufferers

[doubleindemnity]

So now we get to it. Your regret is the real problem here. Well, I can empathise there. But please stop blaming all your problems on hair.

Regret is not a problem. I practice mindfulness and am great at getting over it. But the fact is that I have had around 2 chances in the last 35 or so dates and screwed those up. If things continue at that rate, I'll have only 2 more until I'm too old. Whereas if I had hair, every single date would be a chance. And I can line up dates like nobody else. Those aren't good odds.

 

[MorningGlory]

screwed those up

How did you screw them up? The fact you highlight these suggests you don’t consider it related to your hair.

 

[doubleindemnity]

How did you screw them up? The fact you highlight these suggests you don’t consider it related to your hair.

-Didn't go to their home when invited
-Didn't handle lmr well
-Attempted make out with a woman who didn't want it (but was into me)
-Alienated a woman who didn't believe in doing intimate things before marriage

I regret it all and wish that I could go back and behave differently.

 

[MorningGlory]

-Didn't go to their home when invited
-Didn't handle lmr well
-Attempted make out with a woman who didn't want it (but was into me)
-Alienated a woman who didn't believe in doing intimate things before marriage

I regret it all and wish that I could go back and behave differently.

I don’t know what ‘lmr’ is but you should arguably only regret the top one. The bottom two you may have ended up regretting doing something different.

 

[doubleindemnity]

Aren’t you a NW5? Why would merely the crown be an issue, unless you catfish with your POF/Tinder profile?

Of course I catfish in my photos. When I didn't do that, I went 3 months and over 100 messages sent (at least one per day), 100 likes made every 12 hours and no dates set up over all that time. That all changed when I started catfishing. I'm a diffuse NW6. So I have a few hairs in the NW6 area and my old hairline is a NW2. I'm maintaining those few hairs with minoxidil but, truth be told, I can't get it to look good no matter how short I buzz it. Anyway, all I do is shave the head the way that I usually do - tapered to be longer in the NW6 area - and then take a photo in dim lighting so that the NW6 area doesn't look so diffuse, and it looks like I have a hairline. The diffuse thinning is visible in the photos that I use but only Norwood spotters like us would really notice. When the women see my crown and the NW6 outline from the back, they finally realize that they've been had and that must be what sets them off.

I don't like this, but I really don't see any other way to do things. I've seen that honest photos won't get me anywhere.

 

[Roberto_72]

Women do not have more varied tastes. That's a different topic. But anyway, I have had maybe 4 women out of more than 30 that were ok with me. Of course, I messed up half of those opportunities and and the other half are out of my life now. I don't have enough years in my life to keep going like this and find the right woman. I messed up a great opportunity earlier this year and, in all likelihood, I won't have another until next year. If I mess that one up then, the following year, I'd be too old to date the women who are a good match with me.

What is your Norwood anyway? NW6 men are never called handsome, as far as I know. Perhaps rugged or well built or attractive, but not handsome.

I had two hair transplant after becoming NW6.
Now I would say NW3.

 

[MorningGlory]

I really don't see any other way to do things

I do. Give up internet dating. In your day to day life you must sometimes get women checking you out. Learn to respond to those situations. That way you negate the shock factor of your NW6.

 

[doubleindemnity]

I do. Give up internet dating. In your day to day life you must sometimes get women checking you out. Learn to respond to those situations. That way you negate the shock factor of your NW6.

Never happens. I keep an eye out for it when there's a woman my type around (my type means the kind that I've been getting on dates). But it happened once in a while when I had a combover and never with a diffuse NW6.

Back on topic...the lesson is that you should never allow yourself to be bald and single. Get some commitment to somebody while you have your combover or find a way to keep your hair (try all treatments etc).

 

[Exodus2011]

It is also true that women have more varied tastes than we men.
When we men see a women with a nice body and a pretty face, we all tend to like her.
Different women tend to like different types of men.
I swear I have been totally shunned by some women only to be told by another one, some days after, that she thought I was handsome.

So, if some woman rejects you based on ugly hair, just wait a bit, you’ll find a crazy girl who may like you.

seems total opposite. every single kind of freaking girl has tons of orbiters. theres fetished for fat, tall, skinny, nerdy, etc girls but no analogue for men

 

[BaldAndLoveIt]

The lesson I've learned: just shave your f*****g head. Yes, not everyone will look like Jason Statham. Seems like no two people look the same with a shaved head. You'll look like you. And that shaved head looks far better than a filthy bald spot.

 

[ghg]

The lesson I've learned: just shave your f*****g head. Yes, not everyone will look like Jason Statham. Seems like no two people look the same with a shaved head. You'll look like you. And that shaved head looks far better than a filthy bald spot.

That's very simplified advice, but to my experience a close buzz beats a combover or desperate attempt to grow thin hair EVERY TIME.

 

[doubleindemnity]

The lesson I've learned: just shave your f*****g head. Yes, not everyone will look like Jason Statham. Seems like no two people look the same with a shaved head. You'll look like you. And that shaved head looks far better than a filthy bald spot.

This is irrelevant advice that nobody has asked for. The question is: how can I live a fulfilling, normal life as a bald guy? The answer is not "shave your head". It simply does not work. Who cares if it looks better or worse? We're confident guys on here who are not insecure about our looks. What bothers us is that our lives have been ruined by hair loss.

 

[BaldAndLoveIt]

This is irrelevant advice that nobody has asked for. The question is: how can I live a fulfilling, normal life as a bald guy? The answer is not "shave your head". It simply does not work. Who cares if it looks better or worse? We're confident guys on here who are not insecure about our looks. What bothers us is that our lives have been ruined by hair loss.

Yes, I was talking about it from a looks standpoint. I became much more confident because I feel I look much better this way.

When folks on here are hitting their hair loss with every product on the market and shelling out thousands for transplants, it's to change the way they look right? Or at least return "normalcy" to their appearance.

If you say hair loss ruined your life, but not because it made you unconfident or insecure about your looks, then I would assume you feel it's because of the way others see you, i.e. they see you as less for not having hair. And even in this case, I still feel like a shaved head is the best answer. People will see you as more powerful, assertive and masculine...this has been documented.

 

[Roberto_72]

masculine

I would find it very creepy if anyone thought bald heads were feminine.

 

[BaldAndLoveIt]

I would find it very creepy if anyone thought bald heads were feminine.

Sinead Oconnor ca. 1990 wasn't all that bad

 

[doubleindemnity]

Yes, I was talking about it from a looks standpoint. I became much more confident because I feel I look much better this way.

When folks on here are hitting their hair loss with every product on the market and shelling out thousands for transplants, it's to change the way they look right? Or at least return "normalcy" to their appearance.

If you say hair loss ruined your life, but not because it made you unconfident or insecure about your looks, then I would assume you feel it's because of the way others see you, i.e. they see you as less for not having hair. And even in this case, I still feel like a shaved head is the best answer. People will see you as more powerful, assertive and masculine...this has been documented.

It's well documented that a shaved head makes you look more powerful and dominant. But, even though these are parts of making a man attractive, the same literature says that a shaved head makes a man less attractive. So, as usual, the negatives outweigh the pluses. Outside of careers, business etc. men only want to look dominant, masculine etc. to help them to date i.e. be more attractive. It's well documented that hair loss gives a net negative benefit there.

 

[MorningGlory]

Never happens

Come on, it must happen occasionally. When was the last time a woman held your gaze and/or gave you ‘the look’?

Get some commitment to somebody while you have your combover

If women are as attached to hair as you claim, surely they’ll leave or cheat on you when you go bald? (Not my view, just challenging your logic.)

 

[doubleindemnity]

Come on, it must happen occasionally. When was the last time a woman held your gaze and/or gave you ‘the look’?



If women are as attached to hair as you claim, surely they’ll leave or cheat on you when you go bald? (Not my view, just challenging your logic.)

As far as I can remember, the last time that I got 'the look' was back in 2012 when I was in the same shape as I'm in now and had hair. I obviously won't get 'the look' now because I look scary and tough (and masculine but who cares...) with a buzzed head. Maybe there were one or two since then but they were always in situations where I couldn't do anything without challenging social norms or putting undue pressure on her. I've recently read about cold approach and PUA stuff so I'm actively looking for the smallest 'look' or opportunity and I never get it.

Nope. Maintaining a relationship while going bald is difficult but definitely doable. At this point, they have a good amount of commitment built up. But going from single to not single as a hetero bald man is impossible. Whenever I see a bald hetero guy who has a girlfriend/wife, my immediate assumption is that he fits in this category because it's totally impossible for me to imagine a bald guy getting a girlfriend based on my experiences.

 

[MorningGlory]

it's totally impossible for me to imagine a bald guy getting a girlfriend based on my experiences

I know I give you a hard time but I actually admire your intellect, honesty and rationalism. But I think you have a slight irrational streak (we all have them) when it comes to your hair. You’ve already conceded you blew (in your view) four chances with women for reasons unrelated to your hair.

Obviously it’s difficult to judge your true character based on forum posts, but someone with your determination and resilience should be able to find a wife eventually. Provided that’s definitely what you want? Are you sure there’s no element of self-sabotage at play?

 

[doubleindemnity]

I know I give you a hard time but I actually admire your intellect, honesty and rationalism. But I think you have a slight irrational streak (we all have them) when it comes to your hair. You’ve already conceded you blew (in your view) four chances with women for reasons unrelated to your hair.

Obviously it’s difficult to judge your true character based on forum posts, but someone with your determination and resilience should be able to find a wife eventually. Provided that’s definitely what you want? Are you sure there’s no element of self-sabotage at play?

I'm pleased that somebody admires that about me. I'm only explaining it the way that I see it and I was always going into dating with an open mind regarding my hair. To answer your last question, I'm sure that one of my fears is 'fear of success'. Many people have that fear. But those screw-ups were due to not knowing better. I didn't know better because I haven't had more of those experiences. I haven't had more of those experiences due to...hair loss.

With my determination and resilience I'm more than 1.5 years in, more than 30 (closer to 40) different new women and the dates this year have been worse than last year. Only one of those 4 screw-ups were this year and it was the worst of all. She was a 10 in my view and totally up for marriage/children etc. etc. That one really hurt. Now all of the apps seem to be drying up, the women seem to be going silent or flaking more; it must be the time of year. The older I get, the tougher it is for me so I'm definitely not as optimistic as you are. I'm going to be spinning my wheels forever.