A strange dillema with women caused by going bald

[emex4]

So, I'm 23 and a half years old and I'm pretty much bald. I'm ver serverely thin in the NW7 pattern with about a centimeter betwen hairs on the top of my head. the onyl option I have is to shave it all off.

Because I'm bald at such a young age, I've forced myself to make up for it in other ways. I'm now a health food nut and I spend a lot of time trying to maintain a nice muscular body. By doing this, I find that I've put myself in an odd situation with women. I'm attracted to all kinds of girls: big, small, average, hot. whatever. I find that making myself into a fitness, health nut, I have nothing in common with girls that might be a bit out of shape, even though I'm still very much attracted to them. And my damn balding head restricts me from having a really super hot girlfriend. At least it restricts my confidence. I'm finding it really hard to connect with women these days and find a good mate. Theres alot of positives to going bald (such as my motivation to stay in shape) and theres a lot of negatives.

I dunno. Anyone else have any similar thoughts?

 

[CCS]

I have exactly the same problem. Women who value health and fitness turn into models. I do everything I can to compensate for my hair. Women who are in my league (15 extra pounds hanging here or there) have nothing in common with me because they drink so much.

I have a similar problem with friends. I am very ambitious, but spend my mental energy on my looks. I love to hike because it is cheap (I spend my money on looks, not restaurants) and fun. I find that most hikers are ambitious young professionals (spend their mental energy on professionalism), whereas guys who are as under accomplished as me tend to go to bars instead. While the professionals don't mind me hiking with them, we are in separate worlds, and they can't comprehend why I don't spend more energy on school instead of my hair. And I just don't fit in with my unambitious friends. So I'm issolated.

My solution: look for women who wear lots of makeup, and women who have lots of acne, who are in decent shape. They may look superficial, but they are just trying to make up for a less than good looking face, much like your hair affects your face.

2. You really got to try out a full cap with swiss lace and thin skin perimeter, single strand, processed hair, basebond attachment. Go after one makeup covered girl who looks better than you when you don't have your wig, but not as good as you when you do have your wig. She will fall in love with the hair, and then when you tell her about the wig later, she will accept it because you still look better than what she can get.

 

[CCS]

My problem is further exaserbated by the fact that I want to make my body into like a model body, by working out. But I'm not seeing that many changes yet, and several years of trying different programs and giving up in cycles has passed by. So I'm not sure if I should pick from what I can get now, or if I should just try sticking to a better program. One thing I have decided on is I should not do a crazy tough program that gets me injured. It has to be gradually progressive and not wear me out. But for now, a lot of the women I'd date do not have the eating habbits, sleeping habbits, or workout habbits I have, and tend to drag me down when I hang out with them. Whereas the ones at the gym don't want anything to do with me. It seems like I won't be able to settle in with anyone until I know my body is as good as it is going to get, and that could be a few years.

BTW, I'm 29 now. I was just like you at 23, except I did not understand the problem this well at that age. All I knew was I was not getting any women I liked, and did not know why. I did not even know for sure if looks matter like the bosley doctor said, and was about to walk out of there rather spend money on looks which might not matter.

Another way to get a physically fit, less good looking woman, who is smart, is to date a woman older than yourself. This could be a problem though if she is financially set and wants a financially established husband for a family. But if she just wants a boy toy, she won't care as much. It could be a way to get experience, but not a way to a real partner though.

 

[barcafan]

If you feel you have nothing in common then perhaps try to broaden your interests? Take up a sport, or dancing, or art. Take a class.

 

[CCS]

One other thing:

Even though I'm a bald 29 year old virgin, I am very happy that:

I don't have kids.
I don't smoke, drink, or do any drugs.
I am not even addicted to caffiene or sweets.
I have no criminal record, no huge credit card debts.
I have an associates degree and am relatively educated.
No STDs.
No enemies. Not a lot of friends either though.
I don't owe any money on my used vehicle.
I am not obese. Actually I'm quite fit, just not a model.

I may not be where I want, and may be behind my high school friends, but most of my high school friends are fat and unhappy. And I know some good looking people in a couple who treat each other very bad and are unhappy and blow all their money each month on dumb stuff and can never save for what they really want. At least I can afford laser hair removal and am half done with the process. I can budget my money, balance two jobs, and get what I want.

Now I just need to find a way to watch DVDs on a more regular, cheap basis so I can have some fun time and not go crazy as much with cabin fever.

 

[CCS]

If you feel you have nothing in common then perhaps try to broaden your interests? Take up a sport, or dancing, or art. Take a class.

All those sound fun, and are ways to meet women with my interests, but not necessarily meet their looks standards. I already go hiking with a hiking club. Most women there are grad students and young professionals, whom I assume would not see a bald college dropout like me as mate material.

As for the women I mentioned who don't have anything in common with me, let me elaborate:
Their idea of fun is each night they get a few 12 packs to split with their friends, and they play beer pong, or get out the cards and play kings cup. I would not mind servicing a few of them while they played kings cup, but I don't know if that is a realistic fantasy. My friends always invite me over to drink with them, but don't want to come hiking with me.

 

[Smooth]

Dude you sound like a robot, life is not an algorithm, lighten up... no women will f*** you if you talk like this next to her! (no matter how *"low on your standards"* she is.... :roll: )

 

[ali777]

Hang in there boys, you will meet the right person eventually. The only problem is that women don't fall from the sky. You have to make an effort to meet lots of women, one of whom might be The One.

I understand what you mean about expectations. A few years ago I wouldn't mind a slightly large woman, but now an overweight woman is completely out of the question for me. I don't mind hair colour, breast size, income, etc as long as we have similar interests and ambitions.

Yesterday I ran 3 miles, today I did 120 push-ups, I eat healthy food, etc. I making so much effort to be healthy so that I can have a better future, and I sort of expect to find a woman that makes an effort in life as well.

My info says that I'm in an "infinite loop", I'm literally caught in a vicious circle and my life is just not going forward at all. I need to snap out of it and take the next step. One of my female friends thinks my lifestyle would be a major turn off for a potential partner, and I think she's right. If I can sort my sh*t out, I think I will be a desirable guy again. I'm young, healthy, clever enough, etc, what else do I need?

 

[CCS]

no women will f*ck you if you talk like this next to her! (no matter how *"low on your standards"* she is.... :roll: )

I'm well aware of this. That is why I only post it here and do NOT post it on my facebook profile. Though I started some health groups visible in the lower left corner of my profile, which might turn some women off.

The only problem is that women don't fall from the sky. You have to make an effort to meet lots of women, one of whom might be The One.

That would be my other problem: I don't approach any right now.

Yesterday I ran 3 miles, today I did 120 push-ups, I eat healthy food, etc. I making so much effort to be healthy so that I can have a better future, and I sort of expect to find a woman that makes an effort in life as well. One of my female friends thinks my lifestyle would be a major turn off for a potential partner, and I think she's right.

You are doing a bit more than me exercise wise, though my joints still hurt from the military. Yeah, especially a non-health concious woman would be turned off. But that is 90% of americans. Meeting a match is about probability. And if you don't care about health, you are in good company. If you go to a health food store, most of the customers are older people who don't want to die. Very few 20 year olds there.

My info says that I'm in an "infinite loop", I'm literally caught in a vicious circle and my life is just not going forward at all. If I can sort my sh*t out, I think I will be a desirable guy again. I'm young, healthy, clever enough, etc, what else do I need?

I agree. Infinite loop is how I feel. There is no end to improving your fitness level, it seems. So if you must max out before you look for someone, you'll be waiting a while. But when your options are just decent, and you know 5 extra pounds of muscle could get you a better looking woman, it is tempting to wait. My room is such a mess I could not take a woman to my place if I found her. And my bed is on an incline so fluid does not puff my face over night --- try having sex on that. And I'm self conscious about my finances. I'll be more ready to pursue women when those are straightened out.

Big one: I'm getting laser hair removal, which requires that my skin be very pale so they can target the hair and not hurt my skin. Well, having a light tan would be a big step towards looking better, as I'm sure at least half the guys on here would agree. But my skin will be pale for at least 16 more months till they are done. So it is annoying that some women I could get otherwise will turn me down for being pasty. Makes me want to just get all my stuff done now and not bother going for a woman till it is all done. I look 10x better without hair though, much much more like a model. And no, I don't go around telling women this. I just post it here.

 

[Smooth]

Look, you cant wait until you look like a poster-boy, why do you think you have to wait untill you done with the hair removal treatments? or until your body is perfect? why don't you try while you improve yourself? gain the experience with ladies that you feel more confidant being with.. by the time your improving session is done you will know the "game rules" and you will have enough confidant to play with some hot chicks too.

 

[s.a.f]

CCS you need help!
I'm sure I'm speaking for the majority here.

Your 'plan' is not going to work, you're 29 years old you've already supassed your physical peak. From now on things are only going to go downhill.
I can see you in 5 years time still stuck in your current situation and frame of mind with a long list of new imperfections to add to what you've already got. And all the while falling further away from normal society.
What are you going to do when you start seeing grey hairs, wrinkles and other inevitable signs of ageing that you are paranoid about.

I'm wondering if this is how Michael Jackson started out?

This has become a damaging obbsession.
Look around you at other average guys, guys who have girlfreinds do you think that they worry about their hairline or their bodyhair or the density of their eyebrows ect ect ... (especialy at your age).
You are wasting your life.

I'm sorry to give it to you straight but you are never going to be that GQ model alpha male that you desire to be, and no hot 20 yr old girls are going to be interested. And neither is a older woman unless you can offer a more normal outlook to life.
Sorry but you need to accept this sh*t. You're an average looking guy with average genetics, your hair is perfectly fine for a guy your age.

 

[mpower]

My info says that I'm in an "infinite loop", I'm literally caught in a vicious circle and my life is just not going forward at all. I need to snap out of it and take the next step. One of my female friends thinks my lifestyle would be a major turn off for a potential partner, and I think she's right. If I can sort my sh*t out, I think I will be a desirable guy again. I'm young, healthy, clever enough, etc, what else do I need?

heh, that totally feels like me for the last couple of years... I am trying to get out... made a lot of changes... I even changed continents not really working but it's a slow process (think hairloss reversal LOL) so I completely understand what do you mean. the BIG problem is that the more you pospone attacking the real problem (girls - I mean what else can it be, we all freak out for our hair because of that, we all go to the fitness because of that...) the harder it will be...

talking about girls I have an interesting problem recently(probably the same that emex4 describes). I don't know why(mybe because my self-esteem fell down to the ground) but I am hooking up with girls wich I don't really like because of their looks but because of their personality and after some time nothing goes out of this because I am not really sexually attracted by them. have you been in this sh*t... that feeling that you are understimating yourself?

 

[CCS]

I don't know why(mybe because my self-esteem fell down to the ground) but I am hooking up with girls wich I don't really like because of their looks but because of their personality and after some time nothing goes out of this because I am not really sexually attracted by them. have you been in this sh*t... that feeling that you are understimating yourself?

I know just what you are saying. The difference is I imagine this stuff in my head and decide not to do it, rather than try it and discover I actually am not attracted to them. Saves me time. And I am so glad I never got one pregnant.

 

[CCS]

I keep checking to see if exem4 will reply to his own thread. He starts it and then just sits back and watches everyone else.

 

[uncomfortable man]

CCS, your personality reminds me of the main character played by Christian Bayle in the movie American Psycho. Your whole conciousness seems to be dictated by a complex system of social rules that you feel a strong obligation to abide by. Sociopath, that was the word I was looking for.

 

[BlahBlah12]

One other thing:

Even though I'm a bald 29 year old virgin, I am very happy that:

I don't have kids.
I don't smoke, drink, or do any drugs.
I am not even addicted to caffiene or sweets.
I have no criminal record, no huge credit card debts.
I have an associates degree and am relatively educated.
No STDs.
No enemies. Not a lot of friends either though.
I don't owe any money on my used vehicle.
I am not obese. Actually I'm quite fit, just not a model.

I may not be where I want, and may be behind my high school friends, but most of my high school friends are fat and unhappy. And I know some good looking people in a couple who treat each other very bad and are unhappy and blow all their money each month on dumb stuff and can never save for what they really want. At least I can afford laser hair removal and am half done with the process. I can budget my money, balance two jobs, and get what I want.

Now I just need to find a way to watch DVDs on a more regular, cheap basis so I can have some fun time and not go crazy as much with cabin fever.

I like CCS to be honest, I feel like hes this cartoonish guy who says stuff to get laughs but if your serious about all this CCS, then you need to start living.

That whole list of yours sounds like youre a really strange guy. Women arent turned off by your flaws moreso than your laundry list thats reads like david berkowitz's diary.
CCS you kinda seem like a serial killer to be honest. you dont have much experience with life itself and you're out of touch with it. your 29 now and compare yourself to guys your age who are in relationships and may have debt because they actually own homes or leased cars whereas you have neither. You say you dont smoke, you dont drink, you dont do this or that but what is it that you actually do? Dont you think its time to be fully employed and start establishing credit and lease a car? Youre too old to get with 20 year olds, they dont find you attractive no offense and they really shouldnt either, youre 10 years their senior but the problem is that you lack the experiences of a person 10 years their senior so you'd probably mentally be better off with a 20 year old.

A 30 year old women hot or ugly is not going to have the patience to deal with someone who claims hes ambitious but has no goals other than laser hair removal and who lacks life experience.

 

[KANGA]

Dudes, my friends are about the same age as me (early 20's), and my one buddy is far from gorgeous. While, yes, he does have long, greasy hair; his teeth are crooked to sh*t, he has at least double the pimples I do, and he is hovering around mediocre in looks.

But he picks up more *** than me and my two other buddies combined. Its all about being risky, outgoing, and never, ever shy. All females are potential mistresses. Every single one of them (theoretically speaking). We are all about the same. Many, many women out there feel unconfident about their looks and often wonder the same thing we do: "When will I find my perfect match?".

Women are just as insecure as men. They wear makeup, they splurge on fancy, trendy clothes, and wear high heels. They strive for perfection. We're the same way, and that's why most of us are on this board. Otherwise, we'd buzz our manes and say, why worry? :dunno:

As the saying goes, Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish. It applies to so many aspects in life.

 

[emex4]

CCS, sorry it took me so long to respond. I've been busy with the holiday season and all I havent been using my laptop much.

In response to the hair piece advice: I dont think I could ever do it. I have enough things on my mind and having a wig on my head all the time would totally consume my thoughts.

I dont have academic probems because I've never pursued education higher than high school. I have a pretty good job right now. When I turned 20 I moved east and went to work in the oil fields (I live in Canada). I have my own apartment in a decent sized city by myself but I'm never there. Thats the problem with my job. I work 28 days on, 7 days off. 13-14 hours a day. I earn over 5 grand a month but I have no life and its hard to meet women this way.

My hairloss started at age 21 and it has been very very agrresive and quick. I lost a shitload of hair within 2 years and its just now slowed down a bit. Before i started balding so quickly and before I lost all my confidence, I used to have sex with alot of girls. Even in highschool, from age 14 and up I was getting laid. Since my baldness and my choice to move by myself to a city where I dont know anyone, my success with women has been poor.

I dont know. I just want to find a decent woman and start a family but I feel women that are out of shape or below average in the looks department are intimidated by my desire to be fit and muscular and eat vegetables every day. People even make fun of me for eating so many vegetables. The funny thing is, is that I dont do the whole fitness thing to impress girls. I do it for my own peace of mind.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Emex, it sounds like your lifestyle does not accomodate for a girlfriend at this point. Do they have hookers up there in Canada? Sorry, reading your post again you said you want to start a family, that's admirable. I don't know what the dating scene up there is like, but your work schedule seems to prohibit dedicating the proper amount of time invested to go through the whole dating process right now. Just make money and save. Your obviously working on yourself and maybe you can cross over into another profession that is comprable to what your getting paid now, something closer to home to open up your schedule to accomodate starting a family. Best of luck to you and your endevours.

 

[ClayShaw]

Emex, it sounds like your lifestyle does not accomodate for a girlfriend at this point. Do they have hookers up there in Canada? Sorry, reading your post again you said you want to start a family, that's admirable. I don't know what the dating scene up there is like, but your work schedule seems to prohibit dedicating the proper amount of time invested to go through the whole dating process right now. Just make money and save. Your obviously working on yourself and maybe you can cross over into another profession that is comprable to what your getting paid now, something closer to home to open up your schedule to accomodate starting a family. Best of luck to you and your endevours.

Someone's never been to Montreal.