Advice On Meeting Up With Old Friends

[Albatros_]

Guys I need some help.

After graduating at the age of 25 I started traveling the world, shedding some hair in every continent. I am now 30 years old with ~NW5, and temporarily back in my home country.

I have been in my own country before, but always found excuses not to meet up with old friends because I didn't want them to see how much hair I lost, except for like 3 friends that I really didn't want to lose. They never said anything, even though I would meet them twice a year and look uglier and uglier, because they're nice people and probably understand it would hurt me.

Now a couple months ago I met with a small group of people from highschool, and one of them flatout said "Holy sh*t dude you got bald, wtf man" upon seeing me. I did not know how to react, so I just gave him the death stare and mumbled "uhuh", and left shortly after. I really felt bad for days, because I felt humiliated in front of my (real) friends who were there.

I cancelled a bunch of birthday parties, baby showers and other stuff afterwards, not wanting to face the same thing again. All these events had like 6-10 new people coming, aside from my friends.

I'm not sure what to do. Part of me wants to just give up on everyone and part of me tells me I'm a complete and utter loser for letting other people's comments dictate where I go.

IF I were to try one of these events, what would be the best way to handle the situation? I feel like there's 3 different options:

a) Pretend I don't care, and just laugh it off with a stupid joke. Really hard to do.
b) Be honest, say it's a really shitty thing and that you've having a hard time coping with it. Probably leave out the part where I considered killing myself.
c) Take a more aggressive approach, like countering with lame stuff like "yeah and you look like you've put on some weight", or the passive-aggressive "uhuh, cool story bro". Think this is by far the worst way to go at it, but also the most natural as defensive mechanisms kick in.


Halp .

 

[CopeForLife]

throw away options a) and c) pls

balding IS a problem and hiding it is WRONG choice

I'd chose b) but without killing urself

(prepare to tough answers mate )

 

[CopeForLife]

Dude, you can't take option b. No matter what, option b should never be an option. The reason is people won't really give a sh*t. Noone cares about balding unless they are suffering from it themselves - that is why if you take option b, it will only make matters worse.

Option A is basically the only option you got - it sucks, but that's the truth. If you'd like, you can combine it with option C. Basically you can laugh it off, make a quick joke about it and then make a joke about the person who brought it up.Something like "Haha yeh i'm trying a new style!" "What about you? Guess that diet didn't really work out!" - of course if it's a woman then you can't make a wise crack about weight because it will cause a shitstorm of epic proportions. You just gotta grin and take it, and never let them see it upsets you.

The only exception to this advise is the workplace. If you were in the workplace and people were openly mocking your hair situation then i'd set them straight real quick. That's what the HR department is for.

 

[stachu]

Man, First of first. Option C - you can add here something also like- " yeah on smart heads hairs dont grow.." But countering is sometimes childish. But somehow you can make it sounds good.

Anyway, all of 3 options are with some sense. but important thing Like Cope said. Hiding balding - WRONG Choice.

Every option as you mentioned might take place. everything gonna depend on situation. If you had friends who always wanted to overtake or bother you and you was forced to countering him also - Option C / nothing to lose i think

macaronaroni - seems he also added his best here "What about you? Guess that diet didn't really work out!" dope lol.

Option B - No f*****g way plz. Just dont make yourself look worse.

Option A - Just telling everyone thats you dont care is also like Hmm. Meeh.. I would connect it with option B as saying " Just genes lol, " trying to keep it on normal thing. You're not Alone LOL. Balding isnt something special or unique like some users here considering it as a super unexampled devil gift - lol.

 

[FootyStar]

The reason is people won't really give a sh*t. Noone cares about balding unless they are suffering from it themselves

THIS. If you're bald you have to suffer in silence or risk your social life by opening up about it.

Pick your poison.

 

[Dench57]

"Haha yeh i'm trying a new style!" "What about you? Guess that diet didn't really work out!"

 

[Dante92]

Option a) and c) are simply NOPE.

Option b) without killing yourself (yet) is the best one.

Option d): become a Sith Lord and wear a hood.

 

[kj6723]

I would save b for here, anonymous blogs, and maybe 1 or 2 confidants. (And please don't kill yourself.)

As others are saying a is ok, and if you can do c without coming across as an a**h**, it might be fine. The last thing you want is people thinking you're a prick on top of being ugly.

Have you though about just wearing a hat to minimize the risk of having to say anything about it? I know some people argue it's hiding (which it is), but it's what I would probably do.

 

[blackg]

Have you though about just wearing a hat to minimize the risk of having to say anything about it? I know some people argue it's hiding (which it is), but it's what I would probably do.

A hat might unintentionally draw more attention to his issues.

 

[Dante92]

A hat might unintentionally draw more attention to his issues.

True; being bald(ing) and wearing a hat is like doing something like this:

 

[kj6723]

A hat might unintentionally draw more attention to his issues.

I doubt it tbh. Tons of dudes wear hats everywhere. I rock the backwards ballcap about 60-70% of the time and no one says sh*t to me about it.

I guess it's always possible though. I do show off the combover when I feel like it's looking decent in order to minimize suspicions

 

[N003]

[QUOTE = "Dante92, Beitrag: 1.365.319, Mitglied: 126.359"]. Hout sich (noch) nicht zu töten, ist die beste [/ QUOTE]

True; being bald(ing) and wearing a hat is like doing something like this:

Better solutions :

 

[FootyStar]

Guys I need some help.

After graduating at the age of 25 I started traveling the world, shedding some hair in every continent. I am now 30 years old with ~NW5, and temporarily back in my home country.

I have been in my own country before, but always found excuses not to meet up with old friends because I didn't want them to see how much hair I lost, except for like 3 friends that I really didn't want to lose. They never said anything, even though I would meet them twice a year and look uglier and uglier, because they're nice people and probably understand it would hurt me.

Now a couple months ago I met with a small group of people from highschool, and one of them flatout said "Holy sh*t dude you got bald, wtf man" upon seeing me. I did not know how to react, so I just gave him the death stare and mumbled "uhuh", and left shortly after. I really felt bad for days, because I felt humiliated in front of my (real) friends who were there.

I cancelled a bunch of birthday parties, baby showers and other stuff afterwards, not wanting to face the same thing again. All these events had like 6-10 new people coming, aside from my friends.

I'm not sure what to do. Part of me wants to just give up on everyone and part of me tells me I'm a complete and utter loser for letting other people's comments dictate where I go.

IF I were to try one of these events, what would be the best way to handle the situation? I feel like there's 3 different options:

a) Pretend I don't care, and just laugh it off with a stupid joke. Really hard to do.
b) Be honest, say it's a really shitty thing and that you've having a hard time coping with it. Probably leave out the part where I considered killing myself.
c) Take a more aggressive approach, like countering with lame stuff like "yeah and you look like you've put on some weight", or the passive-aggressive "uhuh, cool story bro". Think this is by far the worst way to go at it, but also the most natural as defensive mechanisms kick in.


Halp .

If you're just temporarily visiting your home country, have you considered the option of wearing a topper just for when you meet them?

You can then dump it after you leave the country.

 

[Albatros_]

Thanks for the replies, seems like all options are suggested by at least someone, that makes it quite hard :/.

Wearing a hat is definitely not an option. My real friends are going to be there, and so will the a**h** from highschool that made that remark last month. So wearing a hat will just result in "Hey OP nice hat, you trying to hide that bald head over there?", and then the new people asking to take it off or even worse, someone "playfully" grabbing it off my head, adding that much more to the shock effect.

I think I'll try my best to go with option a. I feel like the more I show how much it's bothering me, the more it actually becomes an issue to others as well, and the more i'll be seen as a pathetic loser. I just don't have the personality for option C, and to be honest, I can't think of any good counters. Saying something along the lines of "and you look like you could use a diet" can super easily be countered with "yeah at least I can fix my problem". I don't really wanna go that way.

Then again, chances are very high I'll chicken out once again and sit in my room playing video games, trying to escape reality.

 

[hellouser]

Only option A is socially acceptable. You are expected to be humiliated and expected to laugh at yourself. Anything short of that will be seen as weak and you will be told to man up and stop crying. Unless you're a woman.

 

[buckthorn]

scar your face really bad so they won't pay attention to your head.

 

[Dnpuntold]

Just tell em your hair had better sh*t to do then to hang out with the degenerates that they are,
Flip fedora cy@ leave the location with explosions in your background

 

[Dante92]

scar your face really bad so they won't pay attention to your head.

 

[I.D WALKER]

I'll take special liberties and insert a [fourth] Option.

Option D: You hire a different beautiful escort each time whose willing to
come into your workplace @ once a month,
and she will sashay into your work setting for five-10 mins./max,
as per your instructions and leisurely track you down,
and right in broad (ahem) sight of your co-workers
she'll assertively greet you with candid affection,
leaning into your personal space, rubbing your scalp sporadically,
while inaudibly whispering sweet scandalous mumbo-jumbo
into your ear..

As she exits your workplace, tongues will be violently wagging and jaws noisily dropping.

By then you'll have their undivided attention:
This is when you'll look directly at their stupefied physiognomies with the look of triumphant satisfaction;
the rare look that properly frames every righteous face
and no further words will ever need to be spoken.

Look of Triumph: Example #1

 

[Runninghair]

Do you not have facebook?? Wont these people have seen photos of you and know your bald already?

As a nw5 your as good as cue bald so i wouldnt think hiding from people is best option considering your going to be that way forever bar a cure being found.

Go meet them and enjoy it. Im sure they wont give a flying f*k