Advice On Meeting Up With Old Friends

[buckthorn]

precisely what I was thinking. No one would dare look at the Joker's balding head if he had one. I am one step ahead, with the Joker scar on the back.

 

[Dante92]

precisely what I was thinking. No one would dare look at the Joker's balding head if he had one. I am one step ahead, with the Joker scar on the back.

True, and if someone dares to say something about your baldness, you simply have to ask one question:

 

[buckthorn]

True, and if someone dares to say something about your baldness, you simply have to ask one question:

best joker ever. I loved Heath ledger. Suicide Squad was a disgrace imo.

 

[buckthorn]

Please don't even name that piece of crap. That joker was an insult, and harley quinn just a sl*t.

Jared Leto can eat a fat d*ck imo

 

[Albatros_]

Do you not have facebook?? Wont these people have seen photos of you and know your bald already?

Posting photo's of myself on facebook is probably near the bottom of the list of things I want to do, just below sticking needles in my dick and right above gauging my eyes out.

 

[kj6723]

Jared Leto can eat a fat d*ck imo

Dude has maintained his youth though. I Wonder what his regimens are, or if he just has vampire aging genetics

 

[swingline747]

[QUOTE = "Dante92, Beitrag: 1.365.319, Mitglied: 126.359"]. Hout sich (noch) nicht zu töten, ist die beste [/ QUOTE]


Better solutions :

or

 

[kj6723]

Wearing a hat is definitely not an option. My real friends are going to be there, and so will the a**h** from highschool that made that remark last month. So wearing a hat will just result in "Hey OP nice hat, you trying to hide that bald head over there?", and then the new people asking to take it off or even worse, someone "playfully" grabbing it off my head, adding that much more to the shock effect.

If that dude is going to be there again, be fully prepared for more public mockery.

Not trying to discourage you, but people who enjoy/don't mind putting others down are almost always repeat offenders. If you go, you should be psychologically and emotionally prepared for the worst. It's good that you're thinking this out ahead of time so you aren't caught off guard.

 

[hairblues]

Guys I need some help.

After graduating at the age of 25 I started traveling the world, shedding some hair in every continent. I am now 30 years old with ~NW5, and temporarily back in my home country.

I have been in my own country before, but always found excuses not to meet up with old friends because I didn't want them to see how much hair I lost, except for like 3 friends that I really didn't want to lose. They never said anything, even though I would meet them twice a year and look uglier and uglier, because they're nice people and probably understand it would hurt me.

Now a couple months ago I met with a small group of people from highschool, and one of them flatout said "Holy sh*t dude you got bald, wtf man" upon seeing me. I did not know how to react, so I just gave him the death stare and mumbled "uhuh", and left shortly after. I really felt bad for days, because I felt humiliated in front of my (real) friends who were there.

I cancelled a bunch of birthday parties, baby showers and other stuff afterwards, not wanting to face the same thing again. All these events had like 6-10 new people coming, aside from my friends.

I'm not sure what to do. Part of me wants to just give up on everyone and part of me tells me I'm a complete and utter loser for letting other people's comments dictate where I go.

IF I were to try one of these events, what would be the best way to handle the situation? I feel like there's 3 different options:

a) Pretend I don't care, and just laugh it off with a stupid joke. Really hard to do.
b) Be honest, say it's a really shitty thing and that you've having a hard time coping with it. Probably leave out the part where I considered killing myself.
c) Take a more aggressive approach, like countering with lame stuff like "yeah and you look like you've put on some weight", or the passive-aggressive "uhuh, cool story bro". Think this is by far the worst way to go at it, but also the most natural as defensive mechanisms kick in.


Try to ignore it

I actually dont think you had a bad response for the idiot who did that.

If someone is a A hole they dont really deserve your consideration in how you handle it..not saying be aggressive because its a group dynamic and can make others uncomfortable but maybe ignore them and change subject to someone else. or walk to over someone else conversation.
Try to brush it off if it seems innocent/dumb...but if its like the other guy they really dont deserve you considering their feelings.

sorry dont have great advice but i wish you well with it.

 

[Albatros_]

Thanks everyone for the feedback and the laughs. Tonight is the night, I still haven't confirmed/denied I'm going, but I'm trying to convince myself to go, so all this feedback wasn't for nothing. Will keep you guys posted.

 

[blackg]

Thanks everyone for the feedback and the laughs. Tonight is the night, I still haven't confirmed/denied I'm going, but I'm trying to convince myself to go, so all this feedback wasn't for nothing. Will keep you guys posted.

Do you mean tonight as in Thursday night U.S.
time?

 

[EvilLocks]

or

OMG that might be my next avatar LMFAO!

 

[Dante92]

Thanks everyone for the feedback and the laughs. Tonight is the night, I still haven't confirmed/denied I'm going, but I'm trying to convince myself to go, so all this feedback wasn't for nothing. Will keep you guys posted.

Good luck, you'll need it.

 

[buckthorn]

Thanks everyone for the feedback and the laughs. Tonight is the night, I still haven't confirmed/denied I'm going, but I'm trying to convince myself to go, so all this feedback wasn't for nothing. Will keep you guys posted.

I mean, I guess the only truthful thing I can say is - NO one really cares as much as you do. Losing your hair will definitely take it out of you, ruin your chance with women and make you feel terribly insecure, true, but... no one really cares.

This is the ONLY comfort I have while going through this f*cking horrendous nonsensical bullsh*t. No one cares. Hell, no one really cared while you had hair.

You can shave it bald tomorrow and look like an alien with down syndrome and people still won't care that much. Your true friends will still be there and same with your family. You may never have sex again, and certain bully assholes may occasionally poke fun at you, but... no one cares. good luck!

 

[Albatros_]

Do you mean tonight as in Thursday night U.S.
time?

I live in Belgium, it's like 5:30 PM Thursday right now. Are you that looking forward to my "omg it was horrible" story?

Buckthorn: thanks dude, deep down I know this but it's good to hear it again. Also watched a Ted talk about confidence/power, so I'm ready to tackle this b**ch!

 

[buckthorn]

I live in Belgium

You should link up with @FredTheBelgian !! at least on here. He's a solid dude and can give you some advice. Especially since y'all share the same hood and he's been through this full blown. good luck tonight man.

 

[shookwun]

)

 

[Albatros_]

What city? Probably Flanders since you're able to speak English .

Yeah Flanders, Ghent. Sounds like you're in the wrong part of Belgium?

I just got back and wow, I absolutely nailed it.

I made sure to be there in time, since we were meeting for dinner and I wanted to secure a seat in the middle, giving me more control of the conversations and putting me in a power position. When I entered the restaurant I already saw someone sitting there: lo and behold, it's the douchebag. My initial reaction was "Oh sh*t, I shouldn't have come so early.", but I quickly recollected myself and went in, with my head held high. Not this time motherfucker. I greeted him with a big smile and basically pretended that we were best buds. Maybe it was that, or maybe it was the fact that there was nobody else there, but it clearly threw him off-guard. No funny remarks, no awkward silences. I made sure to make myself look big, something I got from the Ted talks, and somehow managed to pretend that I was the cooler, funnier guy.

More people came in, most pretended they didn't notice anything but 1 dude rubbed my head and said something like "losing those hairs huh". I don't know why, but I didn't give a f***. I just laughed and said "yeah man", and continued to greet the other people coming in. I know it sounds really lame and corny but man, having that confidence is something I hadn't felt in years. And it felt f*****g good.

On a high, I continued to lead the conversation talking about my travel experiences. People were listening and laughing at my jokes. It really helps if you've got some stories to tell. There was a mirror in front of me against the wall, and I remember seeing myself and thinking "God I'm so f*****g ugly, why aren't all these people just sitting and staring at my scalp?" But then I remembered why: Nobody. f*****g. Cares.



Say what you want, but I truly believe that talking about the issue and reading people's comments made a world of difference for me going into this. If not, I would've been late, sat on the side of the table, constantly worrying how people perceived me and thus being the perfect prey for people like the douchebag, who by the way, was very quiet all night. That's 1-0 for team baldo!

 

[blackg]

I live in Belgium, it's like 5:30 PM Thursday right now. Are you that looking forward to my "omg it was horrible" story?

No mate, not at all. I was gunna suggest, If you decide to stay home you could always just watch the NFL kick-off instead. Thursday night US time.
But you really should go. Hope ya have fun.

 

[blackg]

Yeah Flanders, Ghent. Sounds like you're in the wrong part of Belgium?

I just got back and wow, I absolutely nailed it.

I made sure to be there in time, since we were meeting for dinner and I wanted to secure a seat in the middle, giving me more control of the conversations and putting me in a power position. When I entered the restaurant I already saw someone sitting there: lo and behold, it's the douchebag. My initial reaction was "Oh sh*t, I shouldn't have come so early.", but I quickly recollected myself and went in, with my head held high. Not this time motherfucker. I greeted him with a big smile and basically pretended that we were best buds. Maybe it was that, or maybe it was the fact that there was nobody else there, but it clearly threw him off-guard. No funny remarks, no awkward silences. I made sure to make myself look big, something I got from the Ted talks, and somehow managed to pretend that I was the cooler, funnier guy.

More people came in, most pretended they didn't notice anything but 1 dude rubbed my head and said something like "losing those hairs huh". I don't know why, but I didn't give a f***. I just laughed and said "yeah man", and continued to greet the other people coming in. I know it sounds really lame and corny but man, having that confidence is something I hadn't felt in years. And it felt f*****g good.

On a high, I continued to lead the conversation talking about my travel experiences. People were listening and laughing at my jokes. It really helps if you've got some stories to tell. There was a mirror in front of me against the wall, and I remember seeing myself and thinking "God I'm so f*****g ugly, why aren't all these people just sitting and staring at my scalp?" But then I remembered why: Nobody. f*****g. Cares.



Say what you want, but I truly believe that talking about the issue and reading people's comments made a world of difference for me going into this. If not, I would've been late, sat on the side of the table, constantly worrying how people perceived me and thus being the perfect prey for people like the douchebag, who by the way, was very quiet all night. That's 1-0 for team baldo!

You fuckin' nailed it, dude!! And I'm proud of your ***!!