Another Depressing Thread About Being Depressed

[Georgie]

There are days when I get by kidding myself that things might get better or perhaps things aren’t as bad as I think they are. It’s easy to do this when you always use things to conceal your hairloss. It’s like telling a lie so often that you begin to believe it.

Today I washed my hair as usual, hundreds of hairs moulted into my hands as usual. I roll the hair into a ball and throw it away. Brush my wet hair and attempt to dissociate while I feel the strands upon strands which catch and come loose in the brush, departing my scalp. I avoid the part where I look at my wet hair most of the time, but today I looked. My soul shattered into little pieces when I realised how bad things have gotten. There was scalp shining through the top of my hair so obviously that in a panic I quickly moved to blow dry it in some vain attempt to escape that reality. When I’d finished drying it I let my eyes linger again. Scalp. See-through hair. I was looking at someone with obvious female pattern baldness. I couldn’t handle it. I threw my hair into a Ponytail to enclose my gaping part, then see the chunks of my temples that are missing. The hair on my sideburns looks frayed and wiry. My widows peak has become jagged as my hairline recedes in clumps each day. The hair around my ears is receded to the point where it looks like if had a face lift. I’m trapped. I can’t do anything with this hair. I cannot hide this anymore. I am on so many drugs that should work and don’t.

Tonight I lie in my bed and wonder how I will go on. I know in my heart that I cannot fix this. I really can’t.
Tonight I want to be dead.

I just needed to vent this, as I feel completely alone in this outside of the forum. I am a freak, even by Androgenetic Alopecia standards. I am foul and my appearance make me want to burst into tears. It makes me want to down a bottle of spironolactone and wait for the potassium to take me out.

How do we go on? How am I supposed to live with this? I don’t think I can.

 

[pjhair]

There are days when I get by kidding myself that things might get better or perhaps things aren’t as bad as I think they are. It’s easy to do this when you always use things to conceal your hairloss. It’s like telling a lie so often that you begin to believe it.

Today I washed my hair as usual, hundreds of hairs moulted into my hands as usual. I roll the hair into a ball and throw it away. Brush my wet hair and attempt to dissociate while I feel the strands upon strands which catch and come loose in the brush, departing my scalp. I avoid the part where I look at my wet hair most of the time, but today I looked. My soul shattered into little pieces when I realised how bad things have gotten. There was scalp shining through the top of my hair so obviously that in a panic I quickly moved to blow dry it in some vain attempt to escape that reality. When I’d finished drying it I let my eyes linger again. Scalp. See-through hair. I was looking at someone with obvious female pattern baldness. I couldn’t handle it. I threw my hair into a Ponytail to enclose my gaping part, then see the chunks of my temples that are missing. The hair on my sideburns looks frayed and wiry. My widows peak has become jagged as my hairline recedes in clumps each day. The hair around my ears is receded to the point where it looks like if had a face lift. I’m trapped. I can’t do anything with this hair. I cannot hide this anymore. I am on so many drugs that should work and don’t.

Tonight I lie in my bed and wonder how I will go on. I know in my heart that I cannot fix this. I really can’t.
Tonight I want to be dead.

I just needed to vent this, as I feel completely alone in this outside of the forum. I am a freak, even by Androgenetic Alopecia standards. I am foul and my appearance make me want to burst into tears. It makes me want to down a bottle of spironolactone and wait for the potassium to take me out.

How do we go on? How am I supposed to live with this? I don’t think I can.

I am sorry that you are going through such a tough time Georgie. As you already know that there are currently some exciting treatments in development with projected release date in next few years. So all hope is not lost. At the same time, you can continue experimenting with different treatment options like you already are. Who knows, something may end up working for you.

 

[blackg]

Man, I really felt every word you wrote here.
I really wish I had the words to comfort you at this time but I don't; other then to say: you are not alone.

 

[michel sapin]

honestly i don't understand whu nobody told you that you don't have hair thinning at all !
and this is pure OCD !
Moreover with such a regimen you can be sure to at least maintain

 

[whatevr]

honestly i don't understand whu nobody told you that you don't have hair thinning at all !

Neither do you, Michel.

Don't be such a complete prick. She has hair loss. She isn't stupid nor crazy, and certainly not blind.

 

[michel sapin]

not wanted to be rude here man , just wanted to say that no one in the street would ever say she is balding man !

 

[genetically_cursed]

not wanted to be rude here man , just wanted to say that no one in the street would ever say she is balding man !

any pictures? there arent any attached to the post

it's kinda heart warming to hear that females also are struck by this sick joke of nature

 

[blackg]

any pictures? there arent any attached to the post

it's kinda heart warming to hear that females also are struck by this sick joke of nature

Heart warming is not how I would describe it.

 

[genetically_cursed]

Heart warming is not how I would describe it.

they get away too easily with everything else, so at least here there's a little bit of 'fairness'

 

[blackg]

they get away too easily with everything else, so at least here there's a little bit of 'fairness'

Generally speaking:
Women get away with some things that men can't.
But then again, we as men have our very own privileges too.

 

[genetically_cursed]

Generally speaking:
Women get away with some things that men can't.
But then again, we as men have our very own privileges too.

saw couple of her pictures, hard to say but looks like she hasnt lost any hair

also regardless of her baldness she will have 100 men stacked up to date her and ltr and support her 'baldig problem', while her male counterpart will hang in rope, dating market is fucked

 

[blackg]

saw couple of her pictures, hard to say but looks like she hasnt lost any hair

also regardless of her baldness she will have 100 men stacked up to date her and ltr and support her 'baldig problem', while her male counterpart will hang in rope, dating market is fucked

If she loses too much more hair then no amount of fleeting compliments will save her dating life.
So I hope she manages to maintain the thinning hair she does have and even manages to regrow some more, to the point where she is able to feel confident in her apperence again and then possibly start posting her pictures on social media again.

After that happens then I hope that @Georgie even has the strength to start dating.
I hope she finds a non-judgmental kind of guy her own age who will respect her condition and vulnerabilities regarding her fragile self image.
This is a difficult time for Georgie so we should all put away our ill-conceived gender biases and just wish her the best.

 

[Yakitori]

not wanted to be rude here man , just wanted to say that no one in the street would ever say she is balding man !

For now, just like all of us men too. At some point you are a balding man/woman to the general public as well.

I think women have people feel sorry for them while us men get taunted for it and tbh, I rather get taunted than have people feel sorry for me.

 

[Roberto_72]

saw couple of her pictures, hard to say but looks like she hasnt lost any hair

also regardless of her baldness she will have 100 men stacked up to date her and ltr and support her 'baldig problem', while her male counterpart will hang in rope, dating market is fucked

I don’t think this is the right thread to discuss male or female privilege.
Besides, it is not _just_ a matter of having possIble partners.
It is also a matter of your own self-perception, which is ruined by hair loss.
Sometimes I think in my life I would have rather been a full head and have had half the women I have head (which haven’t been so many, but I cannot say I was ever alone) rather than this uncombable thing on my scalp...

 

[Roberto_72]

There are days when I get by kidding myself that things might get better or perhaps things aren’t as bad as I think they are. It’s easy to do this when you always use things to conceal your hairloss. It’s like telling a lie so often that you begin to believe it.

Today I washed my hair as usual, hundreds of hairs moulted into my hands as usual. I roll the hair into a ball and throw it away. Brush my wet hair and attempt to dissociate while I feel the strands upon strands which catch and come loose in the brush, departing my scalp. I avoid the part where I look at my wet hair most of the time, but today I looked. My soul shattered into little pieces when I realised how bad things have gotten. There was scalp shining through the top of my hair so obviously that in a panic I quickly moved to blow dry it in some vain attempt to escape that reality. When I’d finished drying it I let my eyes linger again. Scalp. See-through hair. I was looking at someone with obvious female pattern baldness. I couldn’t handle it. I threw my hair into a Ponytail to enclose my gaping part, then see the chunks of my temples that are missing. The hair on my sideburns looks frayed and wiry. My widows peak has become jagged as my hairline recedes in clumps each day. The hair around my ears is receded to the point where it looks like if had a face lift. I’m trapped. I can’t do anything with this hair. I cannot hide this anymore. I am on so many drugs that should work and don’t.

Tonight I lie in my bed and wonder how I will go on. I know in my heart that I cannot fix this. I really can’t.
Tonight I want to be dead.

I just needed to vent this, as I feel completely alone in this outside of the forum. I am a freak, even by Androgenetic Alopecia standards. I am foul and my appearance make me want to burst into tears. It makes me want to down a bottle of spironolactone and wait for the potassium to take me out.

How do we go on? How am I supposed to live with this? I don’t think I can.

I really don’t know what to say to this.
I think we were born one or two generations too early and we are not able to mend this sh*t, and it is a pity.

 

[doubleindemnity]

If she loses too much more hair then no amount of fleeting compliments will save her dating life.
So I hope she manages to maintain the thinning hair she does have and even manages to regrow some more, to the point where she is able to feel confident in her apperence again and then possibly start posting her pictures on social media again.

After that happens then I hope that @Georgie even has the strength to start dating.
I hope she finds a non-judgmental kind of guy her own age who will respect her condition and vulnerabilities regarding her fragile self image.
This is a difficult time for Georgie so we should all put away our ill-conceived gender biases and just wish her the best.

I would have done the same as what the guy did and so would most guys. But if the genders were reversed and I were the man removing his wig, I wouldn't expect any woman to stick around.

Here's hoping that you get through it all, Georgie and have a life surrounded by people like that guy.

 

[Cowboys fan]

I am sorry that you are going through such a tough time Georgie. As you already know that there are currently some exciting treatments in development with projected release date in next few years. So all hope is not lost. At the same time, you can continue experimenting with different treatment options like you already are. Who knows, something may end up working for you.

Hang in there Georgie I also believe better treatments are closer than ever in the meantime try healing from the inside out. Eat as healthy as you can and water fast one day a week. God bless

 

[Yakitori]

Hang in there Georgie I also believe better treatments are closer than ever in the meantime try healing from the inside out. Eat as healthy as you can and water fast one day a week. God bless

Not sure fasting helps your hair... water most certainly does, just like it does to any other part of the body.

 

[Georgie]

not wanted to be rude here man , just wanted to say that no one in the street would ever say she is balding man !

Have you seen me in the street then?

 

[Georgie]

they get away too easily with everything else, so at least here there's a little bit of 'fairness'

Are you serious? What an a**h** way to look upon this post. So because I’ve been in a constant suicidal state because of this, that makes it square then?