We have exactly the same thought process. It really boils down to those points for others too.I have thought about just going somewhere where I’m quite alone and I don’t have to encounter anyone I know, but more and more I realise that it’s a combination of things that is what fucks me:
A: Inability to accept and deal with seeing someone I don’t recognise much less like in the mirror
B: Cnstantly seeing other young women with the things that I lack. Feeling inadequate and ashamed because of this.
C: Remebering how I used to be, and longing to go back to when things were easier and I felt beautiful.
See, even alone I would still have to face these things. It’s like slowly suffocating for me, this disease. Like there’s a small chance that you might gasp some air and you might not die painfully after all, but the more you go without that air, the more you realise that there’s none coming, and it’s probably too late anyway.
This sh*t is something you cant really accept when you see everyone you know with normal hair. Point B is truly the worst.