Being Ugly. It Will Destroy One's Life

[Cue Bald]

well i haven't gotten laid in what, 6 years now? since my hair loss became visibly bad. I never was good at approaching girls, they would always come to me. not into escorts either, my sex drive is gone due to opiate abuse. i am 31 now, what i want is a wife i am attracted to, my own place to live, and children; basically a family. instead i am a sad man who still lives with his parents.

but you know what; sometimes i am thankful for being the way I am. three of my friends have wives/kids (toddler age) and honestly the kids are such hard work, my friends get absolutely no time to just calm down and relax. they get up at 6am, work, come home at 6pm, have to take care of their kids, their wives demands about the house, sort their finances out, all that means they have both let themselves get fat and age badly.
when i come to visit i have a laugh playing with their kids but after a few hours I am glad to get the hell out of there and have peace and quiet back at mine.

 

[shookwun]

well i haven't gotten laid in what, 6 years now? since my hair loss became visibly bad. I never was good at approaching girls, they would always come to me. not into escorts either, my sex drive is gone due to opiate abuse. i am 31 now, what i want is a wife i am attracted to, my own place to live, and children; basically a family. instead i am a sad man who still lives with his parents.

but you know what; sometimes i am thankful for being the way I am. three of my friends have wives/kids (toddler age) and honestly the kids are such hard work, my friends get absolutely no time to just calm down and relax. they get up at 6am, work, come home at 6pm, have to take care of their kids, their wives demands about the house, sort their finances out, all that means they have both let themselves get fat and age badly.
when i come to visit i have a laugh playing with their kids but after a few hours I am glad to get the hell out of there and have peace and quiet back at mine.

See, that's your problem. YOU never learned how to communicate, and be engaged with women.

What you relied on heavily were external factors that were out of your control, which aided towards you never developing any skill set to meet other women.

Nobody is initially good at approaching women, how can they? there is a common ideology of how man fumble, and get awkward in the presence of a beautiful women. A natural response, yet the reaction is opposite to women they are not into.

Hope - Promise < BEAUTY > Fear - anxiety

- Chaos-Incel mindset -

YOU

It's a horrible paradox to be in-between. But I have said this many times, if you have not taken your fear head on, how can you possibly expect to be good at approaching women. Which you have clearly outlined.

This is why you will commonly see normies who are average and even among baldies who still get women despite there disadvantage, they have gone through these motions. A lot of the time I would suspect they have done this repeatedly as teenagers, to the point where it's ingrained in them to seek some sort of fulfillment. When you are in your thirties just trying this for the first time, it will be such a mind f***. Going through first relationships, break ups, learning how to socialize at such an advanced stage in ones life.

 

[Bklyn_23]

See, that's your problem. YOU never learned how to communicate, and be engaged with women.

What you relied on heavily were external factors that were out of your control, which aided towards you never developing any skill set to meet other women.

Nobody is initially good at approaching women, how can they? there is a common ideology of how man fumble, and get awkward in the presence of a beautiful women. A natural response, yet the reaction is opposite to women they are not into.

Hope - Promise < BEAUTY > Fear - anxiety

- Chaos-Incel mindset -

YOU

It's a horrible paradox to be in-between. But I have said this many times, if you have not taken your fear head on, how can you possibly expect to be good at approaching women. Which you have clearly outlined.

This is why you will commonly see normies who are average and even among baldies who still get women despite there disadvantage, they have gone through these motions. A lot of the time I would suspect they have done this repeatedly as teenagers, to the point where it's ingrained in them to seek some sort of fulfillment. When you are in your thirties just trying this for the first time, it will be such a mind f***. Going through first relationships, break ups, learning how to socialize at such an advanced stage in ones life.

Agreed that approaching and being able to make natural, lighthearted convo is a skill. Some are better than others naturally, but with practice everyone can become passable at it imo. Passable. My problem is slightly different: girls always came to me my entire life due to my looks, and while I'm actually a fantastic conversationalist and can keep girls laughing and engaged, it's not my nature - I have to expend a lot of energy to do that. I'm a natural introvert. Social introvert, but still an introvert. Generally a "speak when spoken to" type, but I go outside of myself for special occasions like meeting girls or interviews etc. and put my best foot forward. It would be nice to have my hair back and not have to always expend so much energy.

 

[Marky]

well i haven't gotten laid in what, 6 years now? since my hair loss became visibly bad. I never was good at approaching girls, they would always come to me. not into escorts either, my sex drive is gone due to opiate abuse. i am 31 now, what i want is a wife i am attracted to, my own place to live, and children; basically a family. instead i am a sad man who still lives with his parents.

but you know what; sometimes i am thankful for being the way I am. three of my friends have wives/kids (toddler age) and honestly the kids are such hard work, my friends get absolutely no time to just calm down and relax. they get up at 6am, work, come home at 6pm, have to take care of their kids, their wives demands about the house, sort their finances out, all that means they have both let themselves get fat and age badly.
when i come to visit i have a laugh playing with their kids but after a few hours I am glad to get the hell out of there and have peace and quiet back at mine.

Ya you hit a lot of facts about family life right on the nail head. It's a huge sacrifice in your life, then the risk of divorce and devastating your finances and the kids lives. Then wait until the toddlers grow up to be teens and start showing attitude and disrespect fat and bald dad (which happens because of the sacrifice you made to the family life) - then of course you have to fork over money for "essentials" like smartphones cause all their buds have one too. In addition to paying a fat mortgage on average/mediocre homes.

Family life is a tough go today, was easier in simpler times - like the 1800's in Little House on the Prairie:

Only way I see this being manageable today is the man needs a million bucks before walking into such life, then he buys the house all out and its in his name, then doesn't have to stress so much in the so called "career" world to try and get ahead, meaning more time and energy to spend with the kids and doing activities like swimming, gym and sports which in my opinion add tons of value to life.
Dads more respected by the wife and kids and this makes it all more manageable for just for starters.

 

[sisenegonan]

Atleast you got to live a life. Imagine beginning to bald at 15. Your life is basically over before you even know what a life is. I used to play video games and watch anime/movies all day but it finally hit me, after being away for 9hrs from home, working, to see what I am really missing out on.

 

[Oknow]

See, that's your problem. YOU never learned how to communicate, and be engaged with women.

What you relied on heavily were external factors that were out of your control, which aided towards you never developing any skill set to meet other women.

Nobody is initially good at approaching women, how can they? there is a common ideology of how man fumble, and get awkward in the presence of a beautiful women. A natural response, yet the reaction is opposite to women they are not into.

Hope - Promise < BEAUTY > Fear - anxiety

- Chaos-Incel mindset -

YOU

It's a horrible paradox to be in-between. But I have said this many times, if you have not taken your fear head on, how can you possibly expect to be good at approaching women. Which you have clearly outlined.

This is why you will commonly see normies who are average and even among baldies who still get women despite there disadvantage, they have gone through these motions. A lot of the time I would suspect they have done this repeatedly as teenagers, to the point where it's ingrained in them to seek some sort of fulfillment. When you are in your thirties just trying this for the first time, it will be such a mind f***. Going through first relationships, break ups, learning how to socialize at such an advanced stage in ones life.

Meh a lot of BS here.

My ex left me over a year ago, I have gone on about 20 dates since from online dating, my findings:

- I like them, they don't like me, so it goes no where. When this happens you hear them say 'Hey oknow, you are a lovely guy but.. <insert bs reason here>'

- I don't like them, they like me so have to reject them. This is often because I don't fancy them, fat or ugly.

On both occasions I interact with these women the same way, the missing factor is having the luck to find somebody:

- You find attractive
- Are mentally compatible with

Second point, women are just like men, they take looks seriously, have a friend who is better looking than me effortlessly pull women. I have a better job, and a better converstionalist, but they just see me as a friend or ignore me by treating me as if i am invisible. It is much harder the less attractive you are, OP is fucked tbh

 

[Saurabhaj]

Atleast you got to live a life. Imagine beginning to bald at 15. Your life is basically over before you even know what a life is. I used to play video games and watch anime/movies all day but it finally hit me, after being away for 9hrs from home, working, to see what I am really missing out on.

Stop acting as a loser of web disliking someone rather than having some suggestion or opinion.

You are just a bald guy,not a disable person.
There are people who are living actual dreaded diseases like vitiligo,are handicapped,some are raised in utmost poverty.
Give up this victim mentality and shave your head and rise up again.

I had hairfall since at 15..you ain't any exception.

Stop hiding before dislikes before peace of mind starts hiding from you.


f*** others who feel bad for you...and stop feeling bad for yourself.

 

[Saurabhaj]

Meh a lot of BS here.

My ex left me over a year ago, I have gone on about 20 dates since from online dating, my findings:

- I like them, they don't like me, so it goes no where. When this happens you hear them say 'Hey oknow, you are a lovely guy but.. <insert bs reason here>'

- I don't like them, they like me so have to reject them. This is often because I don't fancy them, fat or ugly.

On both occasions I interact with these women the same way, the missing factor is having the luck to find somebody:

- You find attractive
- Are mentally compatible with

Second point, women are just like men, they take looks seriously, have a friend who is better looking than me effortlessly pull women. I have a better job, and a better converstionalist, but they just see me as a friend or ignore me by treating me as if i am invisible. It is much harder the less attractive you are, OP is fucked tbh

People like you can easily succeed in real life.

It take months and months of flirting and game to impress a girl.
This is where you are having misunderstanding.

Give some time for a person in your contact or friend circle and make up the move at right time.

 

[shookwun]

Meh a lot of BS here.

My ex left me over a year ago, I have gone on about 20 dates since from online dating, my findings:

- I like them, they don't like me, so it goes no where. When this happens you hear them say 'Hey oknow, you are a lovely guy but.. <insert bs reason here>'

- I don't like them, they like me so have to reject them. This is often because I don't fancy them, fat or ugly.

On both occasions I interact with these women the same way, the missing factor is having the luck to find somebody:

- You find attractive
- Are mentally compatible with

Second point, women are just like men, they take looks seriously, have a friend who is better looking than me effortlessly pull women. I have a better job, and a better converstionalist, but they just see me as a friend or ignore me by treating me as if i am invisible. It is much harder the less attractive you are, OP is fucked tbh

Game = Looks.

I aint denying that. However, it seems like you are a normie trying to score hotties.

it sucks, but maybe you should just learn to settle with plain-janes. obviously these hotties aint into you.

But of course you will say, your personality is golden right?

Normie without game = DONE. She will get bored, and the novelty will run out.

Another issue, you are a normie trying to score hotties on tinder. That's hilarity in itself, seeing as women rated 85% of men on tinder as unattractive. a Fact... don't have source though.

 

[Oknow]

Game = Looks.

I aint denying that. However, it seems like you are a normie trying to score hotties.

it sucks, but maybe you should just learn to settle with plain-janes. obviously these hotties aint into you.

But of course you will say, your personality is golden right?

Normie without game = DONE. She will get bored, and the novelty will run out.

Another issue, you are a normie trying to score hotties on tinder. That's hilarity in itself, seeing as women rated 85% of men on tinder as unattractive. a Fact... don't have source though.

I am not actually.

Even unattractive girls have standards, a fair share have rejected me. Biggest myth out there - that ugly girls are easier. My biggest successes have been with hotties, all it takes is one to fancy you.

 

[JeanLucBB]

I am not actually.

Even unattractive girls have standards, a fair share have rejected me. Biggest myth out there - that ugly girls are easier.

I have a thing for chubby chicks occasionally when they have high quality facial features and interestingly do find it harder to find one to root than reasonably attractive 7/10s who are less insecure. Sevens are easiest because they aren't insecure but also aren't up themselves with ultra high standards.

 

[JeanLucBB]

People like you can easily succeed in real life.

It take months and months of flirting and game to impress a girl.
This is where you are having misunderstanding.

Give some time for a person in your contact or friend circle and make up the move at right time.

Girls don't want months and months. If it takes months and months you've already fucked things. Twenty minutes to a month. Usually a few days. Beyond that and you're largely off their mind.

 

[Oknow]

I have a thing for chubby chicks occasionally when they have high quality facial features and interestingly do find it harder to find one to root than reasonably attractive 7/10s who are less insecure. Sevens are easiest because they aren't insecure but also aren't up themselves with ultra high standards.

All of my ex GFs were 7 out of 10s, I have been on dates with girls who are 3/10s that have gone onto reject me, but also kissed girls who are 7+ onwards after going on a date with them. Actually, come to think of it all of the girls I have kissed or done things with in the 20 I have gone on a date with were of my choice and attractive.

Everyone likes different things, you need so much luck to find a girl who you both fancy and gets along with you. I have been on dates with attractive women, and their personality sucks.

 

[Oknow]

Girls don't want months and months. If it takes months and months you've already fucked things. Twenty minutes to a month. Usually a few days. Beyond that and you're largely off their mind.

The guy is delusional.
Ex , one date from online dating which was successful and lead to a relationship

She went on other dates before me, but liked me the most.

It's simple, either the girl likes you or not, none of this game fuckery.

 

[JeanLucBB]

Stop acting as a loser of web disliking someone rather than having some suggestion or opinion.

You are just a bald guy,not a disable person.
There are people who are living actual dreaded diseases like vitiligo,are handicapped,some are raised in utmost poverty.
Give up this victim mentality and shave your head and rise up again.

I had hairfall since at 15..you ain't any exception.

Stop hiding before dislikes before peace of mind starts hiding from you.


f*** others who feel bad for you...and stop feeling bad for yourself.

Knowing someone else has it shitter doesn't magically elevate your own situation.

 

[JeanLucBB]

All of my ex GFs were 7 out of 10s, I have been on dates with girls who are 3/10s that have gone onto reject me, but also kissed girls who are 7+ onwards after going on a date with them. Actually, come to think of it all of the girls I have kissed or done things with in the 20 I have gone on a date with were of my choice and attractive.

Everyone likes different things, you need so much luck to find a girl who you both fancy and gets along with you. I have been on dates with attractive women, and their personality sucks.

How old are you?

 

[Oknow]

How old are you?

32

 

[Oknow]

Atleast you got to live a life. Imagine beginning to bald at 15. Your life is basically over before you even know what a life is. I used to play video games and watch anime/movies all day but it finally hit me, after being away for 9hrs from home, working, to see what I am really missing out on.

I am not a NW6, but if it makes you feel any better I got my GFs after hair loss. Many guys I know are bald/balding at my age and are married, in long term relationships.

 

[JeanLucBB]

32

Makes sense, for me I almost never go on an actual "date" unless they are amazing and can tell from app discussion that we'd click and have common interests/outlook. I'm 23 and the whole "dating" thing makes me laugh honestly, anyone who needs to go on actual dates to get sex has no game to begin with but its probably an age thing.

Also going on 20 dates seems like you're doing something wrong, why are you going on dates with women you aren't attracted to or there is no connection with when you're talking to them on an app? And honestly if they're going on a date with you its clearly not a looks issue, it IS a game issue otherwise they wouldn't have gone out with you in the first place based on photos.

 

[Oknow]

Makes sense, for me I almost never go on an actual "date" unless they are amazing and can tell from app discussion that we'd click and have common interests/outlook. I'm 23 and the whole "dating" thing makes me laugh honestly, anyone who needs to go on actual dates to get sex has no game to begin with but its probably an age thing.

Also going on 20 dates seems like you're doing something wrong, why are you going on dates with women you aren't attracted to or there is no connection with when you're talking to them on an app? And honestly if they're going on a date with you its clearly not a looks issue, it IS a game issue otherwise they wouldn't have gone out with you in the first place based on photos.

Last time I went on one, I was catfished basically, she was fatter in person and less attractive than photos. She wanted to see me again, but I was not into her.

As for the other 19, I don't know what the f*** is going wrong, when I met my ex, I went on 5 dates and then met her running the same game. These days, I am meeting tonnes of women, and it just isn't working out for one reason or the other. Most common remark, their gut is telling them that it wont work out or there is no chemistry.

Then you have the ones where you get second dates with, one was really hot, but after the second date wasn't feeling it anymore, she found me handsome and all that jazz

20 sounds a lot, but when you have liked about 3000 women, it isn't. I am trying to tell myself it is bad luck and that's it. Meeting incompatible women.

Dating is cruel and depressing.