Can You Believe She Seriously Said This?!?!

Rudiger

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Hopefully OP has a some people in his life that will be truly happy for him.

Writing out that big chunky post above, I came to the realisation of how lucky I am to have people like that in my life. Made me quite emotional.

Everyone should do their best to surround themselves with caring people who just want the best for you, they are actually not as common as you think. On top of this I find there to be a correlation between caring people, and also how they are simply more fun to be around, more interesting and funny.

So it goes hand in hand to keep these people around (that's not to say there aren't plenty of really funny extroverted people who can tell a good story, but at the core of them is a selfish c***). Those that are basically boring to be around, tend to be selfish, rude, they're naturally practically autistic because they can't gauge if they are being funny or interesting or not, they just plough on through and learn nothing from people's reactions to them.
 

DoctorHouse

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tl;dr: people like others have their vices because it's a comfort to them having their own vices.



It's a great point about others wanting you to be held back, these people tend to be the most bitter, jealous, cynical and close minded people around. So I wouldn't say it's most people, but everyone who's improving will notice these people pop up with their mind games (even if subconscious mind games).

Your theory on worrying about looking bad is probably true for a small amount of people, I don't think they consciously go "well if he has hair and has shown some progress in his world, what am I doing with my life? Can't let it happen".

Instead for the majority of these people it's clearly that they like the comfort of having someone like them, then their weaknesses are more understandable. They don't like seeing someone successfully eating no sugar or crap, because they like their chocolate and crisps and fizzy drinks, they'll offer these to other people, it's comforting to know they aren't the only weak ones.

It feels like I'm mentioning my new gym regime in half my posts recently so sorry if anyone's sick of it, but I'm new to this and you notice a lot of things you've never thought about before. This exact topic is one of them, the genuinely nice people in my life are generally proud of me for going out to the gym a lot, they encourage it, even some of them with issues of having weight, and some who have openly shown they have tried and failed at losing weight, still are really happy that I'm doing it. They ask me about it all the time and take an active interest, which is good for my own motivation. These are of course also the people I naturally keep close to me, and also when it comes to baldness, they may have at some point shown the same f*****g annoying attitudes we expect from society (thinking hair loss is a funny joke, thinking "it's just hair", literally a friend said a month ago about Conte who had a hair transplant "He should've owned up to it like a man" ugh) but that's not their fault. Many of us on here acknowledge that if we had perfect NW0's we'd be just as blissfully ignorant and have these attitudes ourselves, it's hard to HATE people for it, but with my close and caring friends they at least acknowledged at some point down the line that I'm sensitive towards it, and act accordingly. You can't really ask for much more than that..

And the other side? Never mention my gym routine or even somewhat suggest it's a waste of time. I don't go out of my way to mention I go to the gym but it's a relevant enough part of my life now, for example I now go the other direction out of work to go there, so it's inevitable I mention this to people as I have to go that way for the gym now. I've noticed the most bitter people will move the topic quickly on, they won't even dare to acknowledge it, it hurts them.

It's not that these people are all inherently bad in all ways, one of them is a good friend of mine at work and he's very fleeting towards "gym bunnies" as he calls them, it's clearly not for him and that's fine if he has no interest, I don't think he actively wants to put down my efforts, but in his worst moods he will take un-necessary attacks for example- implying people who go to the gym stink. This is from a guy who regularly didn't smell great on a daily basis! Most people who go to the gym shower twice a day, smell better than anyone, if he was showering every day then he sure as hell wasn't washing his clothes right.

But continuing with that point that not all of these people are inherently bad, my brother is definitely not a bad person at all, and he's on the surface somewhat supportive and in many aspects of my life tries to make sure I'm improving and he can help whenever he can. However I get the feeling after his initial encouragement, now that I'm sticking with the gym and my physique is improving, he's just a little jealous, he still asks about it at least, but doesn't listen at all when I go into my program etc. and I don't even blabber on about it. I could be wrong here, but I get this sense that as he has no time for the gym, or maybe in his mid-30's he's starting to feel that aspect of his life is passing him for good (with regards to weight lifting, not general cardio fitness which I'd say he'll go back to).

As this post is ridiculously long anyway I may as well throw out a related story to just how bitter and cruel people are capable of intentionally being. I knew these student girls who house shared together, were friends before that, one of them lost a good bit of weight over the summer before coming back for uni, and it seemed she wanted to lose more however- she was doing it in secret. Weird isn't it? She didn't acknowledge she was on a diet, she'd have just tonic water and pretend it had vodka or lemonade in it, she was going for a run stupidly early at like 6am and literally sneaking back in the house "being quiet as I didn't want to wake anyone" and not acknowledging she was ever going for runs, everyone found this really weird.

Now the worst part; she intentionally started giving out food to the rest of them, buying cakes at times literally every day, chocolate bars, crisps, "little treats" for her friends. It even got more aggressive that it was practically peddling sugar "Oh go on spoil yourself!"

This went on for a good few months, the rest got suspicious, told me that it's odd this keeps happening but it is such a mental thing that you can't believe your friend would actually be doing it. But it became clear she wasn't eating the food she was handing out, she'd even cut a piece of cake for herself and disappear, it was after a few months that one of them went to the extreme step of looking- and finding, a piece of cake thrown in the bin. She actually asked about it in like a casual way, not accusatory or anything and the response "oh I've had a weird tummy all day so I changed my mind" but I was there plenty of times when she'd cut a piece for herself, maybe take just 1 fork of it, then like pretend to get lost in her phone, walk out of the room with it, etc.

They started openly joking about her friend making them fat, and that was awkward but it was becoming more clear that this was the kind of psychopathic behaviour that was actually going on. I mean to me that's such a horrible thing, losing weight and looking better, and becoming obsessed with her own friends looking worse, and it was an obsession, they reckoned she must've been spending a tenner a day on crap food, that's over £70 a week, as a student.

So anyway they eventually confronted her, coming up to Christmas, she lost her sh*t, she didn't get angry or anything she just got real nervous and shaky, wouldn't admit to it and said she's not going to be "charitable" any more. It was coming up to Christmas and she left unexpectedly, and didn't come back after break. Her stuff was gone when they came back and she just let the landlord know, none of her friends.

Nuts. That's the extremities that people can go to, in relation to your example of how people like to hold others back.
Can anyone PM me the "cliff notes" on this post. :D
 

Roberto_72

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Can anyone PM me the "cliff notes" on this post. :D
Please read the part about the girl who wanted her friends to be fat!
It is hilarious and scary :-/
 

Rudiger

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Hahaha, House I did acknowledge the length of it with a "tl;dr", although that's a stupidly long post to be putting on a silly hair loss forum, I still think there's some good points in there and I'm proud of it on re-reading (which only takes a few minutes).

If you want to read the part Roberto's talking about (thanks for reading the entire post by the way Roberto- I didn't think literally anyone would), this is something that always sticks in my mind as to how horrible people can be. Of course it's not murder or paedophilia, but the fact that it went on for such a long time, with such blatant intent, to her own friends, and there was a lot of constant calculating and manipulating when it comes to it, that to me it displays incredibly fucked up behaviour.

It always sticks in my mind and it's now a decade ago.

As this post is ridiculously long anyway I may as well throw out a related story to just how bitter and cruel people are capable of intentionally being. I knew these student girls who house shared together, were friends before that, one of them lost a good bit of weight over the summer before coming back for uni, and it seemed she wanted to lose more however- she was doing it in secret. Weird isn't it? She didn't acknowledge she was on a diet, she'd have just tonic water and pretend it had vodka or lemonade in it, she was going for a run stupidly early at like 6am and literally sneaking back in the house "being quiet as I didn't want to wake anyone" and not acknowledging she was ever going for runs, everyone found this really weird.

Now the worst part; she intentionally started giving out food to the rest of them, buying cakes at times literally every day, chocolate bars, crisps, "little treats" for her friends. It even got more aggressive that it was practically peddling sugar "Oh go on spoil yourself!"

This went on for a good few months, the rest got suspicious, told me that it's odd this keeps happening but it is such a mental thing that you can't believe your friend would actually be doing it. But it became clear she wasn't eating the food she was handing out, she'd even cut a piece of cake for herself and disappear, it was after a few months that one of them went to the extreme step of looking- and finding, a piece of cake thrown in the bin. She actually asked about it in like a casual way, not accusatory or anything and the response "oh I've had a weird tummy all day so I changed my mind" but I was there plenty of times when she'd cut a piece for herself, maybe take just 1 fork of it, then like pretend to get lost in her phone, walk out of the room with it, etc.

They started openly joking about her friend making them fat, and that was awkward but it was becoming more clear that this was the kind of psychopathic behaviour that was actually going on. I mean to me that's such a horrible thing, losing weight and looking better, and becoming obsessed with her own friends looking worse, and it was an obsession, they reckoned she must've been spending a tenner a day on crap food, that's over £70 a week, as a student.

So anyway they eventually confronted her, coming up to Christmas, she lost her sh*t, she didn't get angry or anything she just got real nervous and shaky, wouldn't admit to it and said she's not going to be "charitable" any more. It was coming up to Christmas and she left unexpectedly, and didn't come back after break. Her stuff was gone when they came back and she just let the landlord know, none of her friends.

Nuts. That's the extremities that people can go to, in relation to your example of how people like to hold others back.
 

DoctorHouse

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House I did acknowledge the length of it with a "tl;dr", although that's a stupidly long post to be putting on a silly hair loss forum, I still think there's some good points in there and I'm proud of it on re-reading (which only takes a few minutes).

If you want to read the part Roberto's talking about (thanks for reading the entire post by the way Roberto- I didn't think literally anyone would), this is something that always sticks in my mind as to how horrible people can be. Of course it's not murder or paedophilia, but the fact that it went on for such a long time, with such blatant intent, to her own friends, and there was a lot of constant calculating and manipulating when it comes to it, that to me it displays incredibly fucked up behaviour.

It always sticks in my mind and it's now a decade ago.
I did read it. This world is full of some crazy people. Luckily, we never encounter any of them on this forum. To me, this forum is full of people who have a great head on their shoulders. But of course, not everyone has enough hair to go with it. :D
 

Rudiger

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I did read it. This world is full of some crazy people. Luckily, we never encounter any of them on this forum. To me, this forum is full of people who have a great head on their shoulders. But of course, not everyone has enough hair to go with it. :D

Ah my bad, and thank you. I sometimes write stuff out on here as like a therapy, I realise it can be ridiculously long for a little forum, but I get the enjoyment of writing it and if people are intimidated by the blocks of paragraphs then fine, I understand (and of course when limited on time I do the same myself for other long posts) but if someone reads it and absorbs what I'm getting across, it's a real bonus. It actually does mean something to me that anyone would see a post of such size, and take the time to actually read all of it because I've written it (or maybe that's a bit presumptuous? Maybe you or Roberto regularly read such posts from all members, but still, that's fine).
 

Rudiger

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I did read it. This world is full of some crazy people. Luckily, we never encounter any of them on this forum.

I didn't really acknowledge how you can't be for real when saying this! Half this forum is half cracked.
 

DoctorHouse

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I didn't really acknowledge how you can't be for real when saying this! Half this forum is half cracked.
:D is always the give away.
 

DoctorHouse

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I was like 80% sure you were kidding but for some reason how the rest of the post carried on I questioned it.

If you think this forum is full of well adjusted people you're the worst doctor ever, House.
Have you not realized by now that I am huge optimist. I only want the best for everyone here. I certainly have spent alot of my free time trying to save you all from regrets and ruining your life. For some, I made a breakthrough for others a total loss. Hey when you got a poster telling you how thrilled he is that you posted in his thread, I realize my legacy is actually more effective than I thought.
 

sunchyme1

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Speak for yourself! Whilst I don't consider myself well-adjusted I really don't think that I'm mentally ill. The only proper nut jobs around here are to my mind the BDDers and a couple of outliers like nameless, maybe Fred too on his worse days.

baldhurts too?

jk bh!!!
 

DoctorHouse

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Speak for yourself! Whilst I don't consider myself well-adjusted I really don't think that I'm mentally ill. The only proper nut jobs around here are to my mind the BDDers and a couple of outliers like nameless, maybe Fred too on his worse days.
Do you consider me a nut job too?
 

rclark

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So I get back from getting my hair transplant and my sister sees me and says "I can't believe the vanity".

Like seriously? I could feel the blood boil inside me. If only she knew how much losing hair can mess with someone's self esteem, confidence and frame of mind. Maybe she should try losing her f*****g hair and see what she does about it.

It's the truth. Every full head, which includes most women before menopause (and even after), are unsympathetic
to our cause.

If they only walked in our shoes for a week, I think they would change their minds. It's always easy to point
fingers at other people.
 

rclark

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GF's or wives can be the same way. You can't simply be trying to feel better about yourself, or improve your career options, etc. You have to be doing it to get more pussy.

That, and be employed. You can lose your job, but unfortunately it's only a matter of time.

No pay check = No PUSSY.
 

Rudiger

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Speak for yourself! Whilst I don't consider myself well-adjusted I really don't think that I'm mentally ill.

So confusing, I said there's a lot of people on here who aren't well-adjusted, you say I should speak for myself and then admit you aren't well-adjusted anyway? That's exactly what I just said mane.

I'd consider myself quite well-adjusted but I have my dark moments too. I think most people do, being self-aware is very important. I'd say that the vast majority of people have issues they need to deal with and work on, only the very few can really believe they are all-round well balanced, but plenty more people believe they are.

By not being fully well-adjusted, I'm not suggesting that it means everyone's mentally ill, just to clarify,.

Have you not realized by now that I am huge optimist. I only want the best for everyone here. I certainly have spent alot of my free time trying to save you all from regrets and ruining your life. For some, I made a breakthrough for others a total loss. Hey when you got a poster telling you how thrilled he is that you posted in his thread, I realize my legacy is actually more effective than I thought.

I have noticed that about you indeed, and you do have that respect and legacy.

You're a rare one House, while jd_uk will forever get flack for being the forums deluded optimist (because some bald mate of his pulled a fit girl once or whatever) you are probably even more optimistic than him but in the oddest way you're realistic about it. So you don't get flack, and don't deserve it, your rare brand of optimism isn't delusional at all and this is quite an achievement.
 

Baldhurts

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If you're anything like that whale-watcher @Baldhurts then potentially, yes. There's BDD and there's BDD. A little insecurity is normal. Otherwise good-looking people trying to claim that they're grossly disfigured is not.


Such harsh words for me DB. I don't think I've ever attacked you. Your mean and I'm hurt by it.
 

DoctorHouse

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So confusing, I said there's a lot of people on here who aren't well-adjusted, you say I should speak for myself and then admit you aren't well-adjusted anyway? That's exactly what I just said mane.

I'd consider myself quite well-adjusted but I have my dark moments too. I think most people do, being self-aware is very important. I'd say that the vast majority of people have issues they need to deal with and work on, only the very few can really believe they are all-round well balanced, but plenty more people believe they are.

By not being fully well-adjusted, I'm not suggesting that it means everyone's mentally ill, just to clarify,.



I have noticed that about you indeed, and you do have that respect and legacy.

You're a rare one House, while jd_uk will forever get flack for being the forums deluded optimist (because some bald mate of his pulled a fit girl once or whatever) you are probably even more optimistic than him but in the oddest way you're realistic about it. So you don't get flack, and don't deserve it, your rare brand of optimism isn't delusional at all and this is quite an achievement.
Thanks, I really appreciate your kind words. You have evolved into a greater person yourself. I remember the day I called you out and you definitely have changed since then.
 

Rudiger

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Thanks, I really appreciate your kind words. You have evolved into a greater person yourself. I remember the day I called you out and you definitely have changed since then.

Good to hear, I actually can't recall this but I'm sure as ever it was constructive and biting for a purpose. We're all works-in-progress after all.
 
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