Confidence...

[HatPrisoner91]

Bad example. It's not normal to be naked in most public places, but it is to be bald at 34. I understand the uncomfortable feeling you have... I was in a similar situation before buzzing my head to a #1.

But you'll have to move on... or else your life won't get any better. But maybe you don't hate your current state that much.

Oh well... good luck.

What Norwood level are you at? Shaving your head with a Norwood 2 or Norwood 3 is not the same with as when you have nothing on top.

I do hate it. The ONLY thing that would be worse is me sitting in a job just thinking about my hair all day. It's torture. I do it when I am not covered for just 20 minutes.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

No not at all, because becoming a millionaire is extremly difficult, the whole world is trying to do that but only a tiny % achieve it because you need either a talent, great brains or a once in a life time opportunity.
However for you to act like a normal person (bald or not) go outside and get yourself a job and rejoin society is easy you're fully capable of doing it today.

Can you think of one real reason why you cant do this? And saying because I have a bald head does'nt count.

But that's the point. Not EVERYONE can (become a millionaire). Some just have more talent, are smarter (street smarts), have better connects, better luck etc. But when it comes to bald people, why do we group them together like we are all the same. Hey look at that guy (some celebrity), he looks fine bald, that means you will too is the most overused expression by people. As if like Jason Statham looks the same as I don't know Jason Alexander or Ron Howard.

Being bald (not balding which means NW5 to Norwood 7) at 34 is NOT normal. I see many people my age every day and I might see a handful in that realm. So by that logic, having AIDS at my age is normal too because they are millions in the world at my age who have it too right?

The real reason is simple. I don't feel comfortable with it. It makes me stand out. I was on a train the other day right. I look at around and there were TWO people that were bald. One was an old guy (in his 70's) and another was maybe 40's but he was a black man. A couple of others had slight receding hairlines. The rest nothing. I don't stand out there? Cmon! I just want to blend in with everyone else. Not be "the bald guy" that people look at it or make jokes about. I'm the type of person that when bad things happen, it bothers me forever. Explanation make sense?

 

[s.a.f]

But that's the point. Not EVERYONE can (become a millionaire). Some just have more talent, are smarter (street smarts), have better connects, better luck etc. But when it comes to bald people, why do we group them together like we are all the same. Hey look at that guy (some celebrity), he looks fine bald, that means you will too is the most overused expression by people. As if like Jason Statham looks the same as I don't know Jason Alexander or Ron Howard.

Of course not all baldies look the same, did I ever say they did? But wether you look like Statham or Jason Alexander its still normal. Both of these guys could live a normal life if they were'nt famous.

Being bald (not balding which means NW5 to Norwood 7) at 34 is NOT normal. I see many people my age every day and I might see a handful in that realm. So by that logic, having AIDS at my age is normal too because they are millions in the world at my age who have it too right?

You're making yourself look stupid with these counter arguments, of course its normal to be bald at 34. It may put you in a minority but there are still 10's if not 100's of millions in the same situation.
If you got 100 random 34 yr olds together you'd find about 10 of them were totally bald and probably another 30%+ with some degree of hairloss who were possibly destined to reach nw5.
If you got 1000 random 34 yr olds together how many would be likely to have aids? 1 maybe?
Thats like saying that any guy who is 5' 6" or 6'5" is a freak. Because fall outside of the average height range.

The real reason is simple. I don't feel comfortable with it. It makes me stand out. I was on a train the other day right. I look at around and there were TWO people that were bald. One was an old guy (in his 70's) and another was maybe 40's but he was a black man. A couple of others had slight receding hairlines. The rest nothing. I don't stand out there? Cmon! I just want to blend in with everyone else. Not be "the bald guy" that people look at it or make jokes about. I'm the type of person that when bad things happen, it bothers me forever. Explanation make sense?

Well it bothers/bothered me aswell but never anywhere near enough to write my whole life off just because of 1 unfortunate flaw in my appearance.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

Number I believe are skewed. If you put together 1000 random (depending on country of course) then I would say at MOST there might be 10 and out of those 10, you have to count how many did it by choice. I know a few people who shave their heads bald by choice because it suits them and I have seen them grow it out so it's not that they are bald.

Normal isn't the right word. But minority is. A great minority. Oh and speaking of your height comment, I am very close to the higher one by about an inch. Makes me even MORE of a minority right? Really tall and bald lol. Don't get me wrong, I'd rather be tall than short but it does make you stand out, ive learned that. But mostly in a good way. At the same time, height is not something you will lose or gain when u are 21 either unless you lose your legs or become hunched over when you are elderly.

I didn't say YOU said it. I said it's the most overused statement out there. If I read about Jason Statham here one more time, I might throw up lol.

But you say it bothered you enough to get hair transplant's in all these places. That seems pretty significant to me also? Yes it stopped my life because I have so much other crap going on, I couldn't/can't handle this thrown on top.

 

[BobbyChalfont]

I used to suffer from depression. I was 21 years old, living with my Grandparents...no job, no prospects, no girlfriend, no friends and low self-esteem.

The best thing I ever did? Get a job.

I took a crappy job in a mall, a sales assistant selling electronic goods. The job was shitty, the pay was too but the most important thing, there were people. I made a couple of good friends there - they didn't care what I looked like or how crappy my job was, because they were in the same boat as me.

I started socialising with these guys outside of work, which in turn opened up my social group even more. Yeah, I don't mind admitting it - I leeched off their friends because I had none of my own. Their friends became my friends.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I left that job after a year and a bit, kept the friends, went back to college to get a degree in Biology, made even more friends while there, and am now have a pHd, a cushy job and a healthy social circle of like-minded friends. I'm balding but I'm happy.

Honestly, the best thing you can do is just get out there. Being unemployed, 34 years old and living with your parents is probably the main contributing factor to your depression. You have too much time to just sit and think about how your life is going nowhere.

 

[Felk]

Some people here would benefit enormously from this site:

http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

It's a cognitive-behavioural therapy site run by a leading Australian university. It's easy to use, with simple and interesting exercises, records responses for you to evaluate later, etc.

I was introduced to it when I was completing a psychiatry project. It's all evidence based and very well made, and i've seen a few studies demonstrating that completing exercises on that website does indeed reduce depression, anxiety, etc. In short, it works.

In fact, I might post this in it's own thread...

 

[ghg]

Number I believe are skewed. If you put together 1000 random (depending on country of course) then I would say at MOST there might be 10 and out of those 10, you have to count how many did it by choice. I know a few people who shave their heads bald by choice because it suits them and I have seen them grow it out so it's not that they are bald.

Normal isn't the right word. But minority is. A great minority. Oh and speaking of your height comment, I am very close to the higher one by about an inch. Makes me even MORE of a minority right? Really tall and bald lol. Don't get me wrong, I'd rather be tall than short but it does make you stand out, ive learned that. But mostly in a good way. At the same time, height is not something you will lose or gain when u are 21 either unless you lose your legs or become hunched over when you are elderly.

I didn't say YOU said it. I said it's the most overused statement out there. If I read about Jason Statham here one more time, I might throw up lol.

But you say it bothered you enough to get hair transplant's in all these places. That seems pretty significant to me also? Yes it stopped my life because I have so much other crap going on, I couldn't/can't handle this thrown on top.

Where do you live? The planet of the apes perhaps? In 20 year olds 10 baldies out of 1000 could be right but for 34 yr olds the number must be a lot higher. You're definitely exaggerating the freaky factor of baldness in your age group.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

Where do you live? The planet of the apes perhaps? In 20 year olds 10 baldies out of 1000 could be right but for 34 yr olds the number must be a lot higher. You're definitely exaggerating the freaky factor of baldness in your age group.

I have not seen 10 in one day ever. You have to really look. I live in a major city. Balding does NOT equal bald. It's not even close. I look at hair transplant sites and see people's "before" pic and I would die to just be THAT.

 

[ghg]

Where do you live? The planet of the apes perhaps? In 20 year olds 10 baldies out of 1000 could be right but for 34 yr olds the number must be a lot higher. You're definitely exaggerating the freaky factor of baldness in your age group.

I have not seen 10 in one day ever. You have to really look. I live in a major city. Balding does NOT equal bald. It's not even close. I look at hair transplant sites and see people's "before" pic and I would die to just be THAT.

It's funny 'cause I see balding youngsters everyday and on a normal day I don't even see that many ppl. Anyway, the only way out for you is acceptance. Until you learn to appreciate yourself the way you are there's very little our words or anything else can do.

 

[s.a.f]

I work with over 100 other guys the vast majority of whom are in their 20's and to be honest the only nw5/6's are me a guy in his late 20's a guy who is 40 and a guy in his 50's, but there are plenty of nw3's who are in their early to mid 20's and these guys will no doubt get to nw5 or 6 in the next decade.
If I go into town I dont see a lot of young bald guys percentage wise but I can garantee that I'll see at least a few who are in their 20's and although they are the minority I dont see them as freaks.
I'm sure that if you went to a football match with 10,000+ guys in the crowd you'd easily be able to see a few hundred young bald guys.

I think you should take the advice given by Bobby Chalfont.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

It's funny 'cause I see balding youngsters everyday and on a normal day I don't even see that many ppl. Anyway, the only way out for you is acceptance. Until you learn to appreciate yourself the way you are there's very little our words or anything else can do.

You said it : BALDING. Not bald. I see balding people too. Like I consider James Gandolfini (tony Soprano for those who don't know) balding, not bad. People with hair call him bald. I would be more content with what he has.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

I work with over 100 other guys the vast majority of whom are in their 20's and to be honest the only nw5/6's are me a guy in his late 20's a guy who is 40 and a guy in his 50's, but there are plenty of nw3's who are in their early to mid 20's and these guys will no doubt get to nw5 or 6 in the next decade.
If I go into town I dont see a lot of young bald guys percentage wise but I can garantee that I'll see at least a few who are in their 20's and although they are the minority I dont see them as freaks.
I'm sure that if you went to a football match with 10,000+ guys in the crowd you'd easily be able to see a few hundred young bald guys.

I think you should take the advice given by Bobby Chalfont.

If I was a Norwood 3, I woudln't even be posting here. That's the point. I would be fine with it.

 

[s.a.f]

If I was a Norwood 3, I woudln't even be posting here. That's the point. I would be fine with it.

I know but what I'm saying is those guys will be in your position at your age so you are not special just a typical m.p.b sufferer.
You've got to remember that most guys on here are not 34 they are more like 19 -24 so of course you'd want to be in their position.
And as I said in a decade they to will be a 34 yr ol nw6, You should realise that there are many people in this world who'd love to be in your position bald or not.
You can bet even really good looking guys with nw1's still have their own issues.
BTW I bet if you were a NW3 you'd still be devastated about it and want to be a NW1 or a NW2. Trust me there are guys who are NW7 or have no hair at all who would love to have your NW6, its all a matter of perspective.
There are so many people in the world who despite having perfect hair are still plain butt ugly. You're in a better position than them.

 

[Felk]

I know you didn't deserve to lose your hair any more than a the next guy. I know it sucks that other people have hair and you don't. But a guy born with severe acne, or diabetes, or a genetic weight problem doesn't feel like he deserves it over his normal friends either. It's all a matter of perspective, as s.a.f said.

I know it sucks man, but you can't change it. Choosing to accept it and improve how it affects you is the only way. What's the point of agonising over something you can't change, you have to move on. Do you really want hair loss to defeat you?

 

[ghg]

Hatprisoner, I reckon you must have other issues besides hairloss. I don't think hairloss alone could bring anyone down like that. Yeah, I'm a good example since I have lots of issues besides hairloss.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

SAF, if I was a NW3, I would be out there. I know because I don't think a NW3 looks that bad. Hell I would even have an option like Toppik if I wanted it, at that point you know?

 

[HatPrisoner91]

Hatprisoner, I reckon you must have other issues besides hairloss. I don't think hairloss alone could bring anyone down like that. Yeah, I'm a good example since I have lots of issues besides hairloss.

I have talked about that before. I have confidence issues but my biggest problem right now is being bald. I"m not BSing when I saw if I wasn't bald and had only one leg, I would be one of those people who would run a marathon with it because it's more physical (which I can take as much as anyone) and less emotional.

 

[first]

Well, I am 25 and I'm pretty close to being a NW5.

I've only in my entire life ever seen one guy who is as balder than me at my age. Also, both my father (NW7) and my mother have very thin hair, so I don't exactly have the right genetics either. If this was my only problem, as it seems to be for you, I'd be overrun with joy. However, it is not, I also suffer from severe ED, which is, believe me, 10 times worse.

However, I do not feel depressed at all, actually I am quite content with my life. The things that I can change and want to improve, I try to change (which has helped both my hair and my ED). The things I can't change, seems pointless to think about, as I cannot change them anyhow.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

Congrats on having such a positive outlook on things. I honestly don't have a clue what that much feel like.

In terms of whoever said I am depressed because of the non job, living at home, age thing, they are right. BUT, none of those would be a factor without being bald. That is the only thing that is keeping me from doing those things because of how bad I feel about it.

Emotional stuff has always been something that affected me and never went away.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

I know but what I'm saying is those guys will be in your position at your age so you are not special just a typical m.p.b sufferer.
You've got to remember that most guys on here are not 34 they are more like 19 -24 so of course you'd want to be in their position.
And as I said in a decade they to will be a 34 yr ol nw6, You should realise that there are many people in this world who'd love to be in your position bald or not.
You can bet even really good looking guys with nw1's still have their own issues.
BTW I bet if you were a NW3 you'd still be devastated about it and want to be a NW1 or a NW2. Trust me there are guys who are NW7 or have no hair at all who would love to have your NW6, its all a matter of perspective.
There are so many people in the world who despite having perfect hair are still plain butt ugly. You're in a better position than them.

You make it sound like they all will be. I don't think that. Some people bald very gradually. There is time to adjust. I think the worst part my loss was that in one year it went from like Norwood 2 to Norwood 6. I mean it was rapid.

People who were born "butt ugly" as you said are different. They never knew anything else. Now if someone was good looking and then became ugly because of a fire or something, its different to adjust. And no I'm not saying being burned is like being bald. I'm saying it's closer comparison because it has to be something that happens to you, not something you are born with.

I agree people have issues. I have many confidence issues. I freely admit it.

I was thinking about this last night. I'll share some stuff right now. I'll try to quickly summarize it so people can understand some of the pain I feel.

Part of my problem was I was stuck by my parents in private school for many years. My family was not rich but everyone else there was. I did not fit in. I wasn't poor but compared to them. Anyway, I never got to have any normal clothes. Always cheap crap. The amount of ragging I took daily was unbearable. I was also warned not to get into a fight at school or in trouble or I would "get it" at home. So I had to just take it every day. Then I would come home and take abuse at home too.

In terms of hair, I had a lot of it. But didn't know a thing about styling so it just was there. People gave me crap about it too all the time.

When I got to HS, I started working and bought better clothes, combed and stuff changed. I went from "that guy" to just any other guy. It was such an adjustment but I felt good for the 1st time ever. But the abuse at home continued every day. So for a few years, I was a normal cool guy with friends, women etc. Didn't get any comments (only at home) and I as finally at least happy some of the time.

Fast forward a few years later. Im working, ready to leave etc. Everything is fine. In one year, I'm completely bald. I took some time off to rehab an injury (from gym) and it started to go. I mean I couldn't believe it.

So the thought of ever having to be in front of people where even one person might (and they do, ive seen it) say something or look at me in a bad way is horrifying to me. This is my biggest fear in the world. I do not want to ever feel that way again. I did for so many years of my life. This is why just "getting over" it never occured. Because of all this, I have VERY thin skin. I don't take jokes about me very well and never have.

This was very hard for me to share so I would appreciate people not belittling it.