iwantperfection:
Women don't want the guys they can't have because they can't have them. They want those guys because those guys are attractive. It is true though that if someone is at all interested in someone, they feel a bit of a loss when they can't have them on demand, and might try to fix that. But if that is a man's only way of attracting a woman, then she will only want sex with him when he is saying no, and he won't get it as often as he wants. If you are doing better than that, it is your looks at play.
Chasing a woman and approaching her are two different things. You got to approach, or wait to be approached. I don't chase any women, but none go for me. Maybe some are super attracted, but they don't approach. Being attractive to other women may help you, but you got to approach some time to get them around you in the first place. If you don't have to, then it is your looks that brought them there. So the question is how to approach, not just not to chase.
As for chasing, I agree that if you make it perfectly clear to a woman that you want her bad and she has you around her finger, very often she will try to use you and see just how far she can go. And yes, she does like it. It just does not seem that way if you are not getting layed. It is not correct that women don't like easy guys; it is correct they don't sleep with easy guys at much, since they want to keep them hungry.
It is true that confident guys tend to get more women. That is because someone has to make the first move. That does not mean that a super confident, below average looking guy, can compete with a super good looking, mildly confident guy. Often women will ask out the guys they want. I see it all the time all around me. If a guy looks good, women make the first move often. If a guy is beneath her, he has to ask her out. Women don't typically ask out guys less attractive than them for simple negotiation reasons: they don't want to look too interested or else he won't think he has to pay, and will think he can get sex often. They have to make him chase. A guy getting a woman is a bit more complicated than just letting her chase.
My problem is I don't approach at all. Or if I do, I don't talk about the right stuff to let her know I'm interested, and don't use the right body language/voice tone to express interest. And I don't read her body language since I look off into space, so I don't show the right levels of interest at the right times. And when I do think I see interest, I don't know how to test it or transition to a more direct level of flirting. I just talk about school and have their interest at first and eventually have them convinced I am just interested in the conversation and not her. My other problem is not knowing who is in my league and what I can expect from each league. Because of the uncertainty, I often just don't approach at all. If I looked better, women would try harder to keep the contact going, and would see me as a fixer upper. But in my current state, I can get some women, but I really need to improve my social skills. I am still thinking about it, and want to practice, but mostly just working on my appearance for now rather than get too stressed out spinning my wheels. Women are approached at bars so much that they don't mind being rude and using men there, even if you are in their league, so I advise average guys not to even try picking up women there. Parties or hobbie clubs are much better.
unk: i would NEVER date a girl that i went with in a club. Cause those girls do that all the time and ya wouldnt know where they been.