Do you want to have kids?

[virtuality]

Yes, I'd like to have my first kid in the next 2-3 years

And I want to do all those boring things a typical family man does.

My brother has a kid, I can see it's a full time job for the first year of the baby's life. That's why we have the maternity/paternity leave.

As long as the kid doesn't get seriously sick, raising a kid isn't that hard.

 

[Vox]

Unless I missed some post previously, I cannot believe that I am the only one here, really bald (NW6+), and being already a dad.

I cannot also believe the negativity you are radiating here about making a child while being (or heading to) bald. By the time our children or grand children will be concerned by hairloss, even if there is not a "cure", it will be less of a problem than today. Just think what we do have today and what we had like 20 years ago. Even with this fairly linear progress, today hairloss is far less of an issue than it used to be.

You guys make no sense at all in this (children + hairloss). You seem deeply depressive and it is unjust to affect others reading these boards with more positive minds. Humanity has much more serious problems to consider, regarding childbirths, than hairloss.

 

[Vox]

I look at my sisters raising their kids and its ALOT of work like having 2 fulltime jobs. As soon as that kids born your life is no longer your own. (For the average Joe it means no freetime anymore, and no spending money).
And I also see nearly all my workmates who've had kids split up with the woman (the relationship cant handle the massive change). So now they've got kids but they just pay for them and hardly ever see them.

Correct on every account. It is not easy in the beginning. The change for the couple is fairly big but it is easier for the couples that are not much connected. In such cases a child will bring and bind them together (of course this assumes the required will from both parties). Otherwise, and from my personal experience, the binding role of a baby regarding the relationship of the parents is rather a myth perpetuated because it serves well our species. Childbearing can be proved devastating to couples that have been very strongly connected for a long time (think about years here, not really common) and it will take steel-strong determination to not break up or not end up with serious psychological issues. For the other cases in between, it is more or less as you described.

 

[somone uk]

i have drawn so many genetic short straws i see it as a duty to not have kids
maybe i should drink a good ole glass of radioactive waste, random mutionations can only make my dna better

 

[Rutt]

not unless i can genetically engineer my kid to not have it, or there's a cure by that time

but i dont even think i want to get married in the first place

a daughter might be ok.

i like how this assumes that anyone would be interested in a balding guy in the first place :innocent:

 

[mike46]

The problem isn't that your parents passed this gene on to you,

The problem is what they DIDN'T pass on -a value system, be it religious or cultural, in which the pecking order of society isn't determined by such a trivial issue (it REALLY is trivial).

i've got very religious friends who are extremely successful in business; they are bald and don't give a rats ***. their not apologetic about it and don't shave it or hide it. they are treated with reverence and respect simply because they treat themselves with a sense of dignity and give off a sense of direction and purpose (which does not include self absorption).

i dont think it's possible for most people to develop this frame of mind, the implications of having a full head of hair is so DEEPLY imbedded in our psyche that it's hard to remove. but simply interacting with these type of people really puts my priorities into perspective.

:2gunsfiring_v1: not having kids b/c of baldness???? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

ps. in most cases baldness gene is from mothers brother...

 

[s.a.f]

ps. in most cases baldness gene is from mothers brother...

Got any more myths you'd like to pull out of your ***? :whistle:

 

[optimus prime]

I'm 27, I want a kid this year or next year.

There are not many parents on this forum because as soon as they get a child they can't be bothered/better things to do with their time, then surf the internet worrying about hairloss.

 

[virtuality]

I look at my sisters raising their kids and its ALOT of work like having 2 fulltime jobs. As soon as that kids born your life is no longer your own. (For the average Joe it means no freetime anymore, and no spending money).
And I also see nearly all my workmates who've had kids split up with the woman (the relationship cant handle the massive change). So now they've got kids but they just pay for them and hardly ever see them.

Correct on every account. It is not easy in the beginning. The change for the couple is fairly big but it is easier for the couples that are not much connected. In such cases a child will bring and bind them together (of course this assumes the required will from both parties). Otherwise, and from my personal experience, the binding role of a baby regarding the relationship of the parents is rather a myth perpetuated because it serves well our species. Childbearing can be proved devastating to couples that have been very strongly connected for a long time (think about years here, not really common) and it will take steel-strong determination to not break up or not end up with serious psychological issues. For the other cases in between, it is more or less as you described.

Why are you so negative???

I don't have a kid and I don't have a life of my own neither. I've done everything young people do, I've moved on. I don't enjoy going to the bars and chasing girls anymore. I spend my evenings watching TV, reading books, going to the gym, or surfing the net. Where is the fun in that???

I think the problem with our generation is that we aren't used to hard work. For us life is all about having fun. We run away at the first sight of trouble.

Of course raising a kid is not easy, so what? Get on with it.

Also, all that bulls* about having a kid to connect with the partner is just silly. A couple that isn't connected, shouldn't make a kid. They should get a divorce and find someone who can they connect with. I know someone who made a kid instead of getting a divorce, their life is miserable.

 

[s.a.f]

Why are you so negative???

I don't have a kid and I don't have a life of my own neither. I've done everything young people do, I've moved on. I don't enjoy going to the bars and chasing girls anymore. I spend my evenings watching TV, reading books, going to the gym, or surfing the net. Where is the fun in that???

I think the problem with our generation is that we aren't used to hard work. For us life is all about having fun. We run away at the first sight of trouble.

Of course raising a kid is not easy, so what? Get on with it.

Also, all that bulls* about having a kid to connect with the partner is just silly. A couple that isn't connected, shouldn't make a kid. They should get a divorce and find someone who can they connect with. I know someone who made a kid instead of getting a divorce, their life is miserable.

You make it sound like its compulsary!
Thats the problem society forces this pressure on people to conform marriage 2.4kids and all the rest.
This is the 21st century it would be a better world if people just lived the lives they want rather than trying to please society and making more trouble for themselves in the longrun. We are lucky to live in a time of great oppurtunities make the most of it.

 

[optimus prime]

Anyways, have kids and don't let male pattern baldness stop you.

Wise words dudemon. Anyone who doesn't want kids, that is fine. But don't let male pattern baldness dictate your future.

 

[virtuality]

Why are you so negative???

I don't have a kid and I don't have a life of my own neither. I've done everything young people do, I've moved on. I don't enjoy going to the bars and chasing girls anymore. I spend my evenings watching TV, reading books, going to the gym, or surfing the net. Where is the fun in that???

I think the problem with our generation is that we aren't used to hard work. For us life is all about having fun. We run away at the first sight of trouble.

Of course raising a kid is not easy, so what? Get on with it.

Also, all that bulls* about having a kid to connect with the partner is just silly. A couple that isn't connected, shouldn't make a kid. They should get a divorce and find someone who can they connect with. I know someone who made a kid instead of getting a divorce, their life is miserable.

You make it sound like its compulsary!
Thats the problem society forces this pressure on people to conform marriage 2.4kids and all the rest.
This is the 21st century it would be a better world if people just lived the lives they want rather than trying to please society and making more trouble for themselves in the longrun. We are lucky to live in a time of great oppurtunities make the most of it.

Of course it's not compulsory. As you say, we live in the 21st century and you can do whatever you want.

However, think about it. Are you gonna go to bars and try to get laid for the rest of your life? Do you not feel the need to have a stable partner who becomes your best friend in life? Then maybe at one point in the future have a kid or kids together so that you extend your loving family environment?

I am in my 30s, I've been around the block a few times, I used to be a party animal, and I can honestly say that I really don't have the energy to chase the girls anymore.

It's not the society that tells me to settle down. I simply feel like I've done most things, and now I want to move on.

Besides, these days the average number of children for a woman in child bearing age is below 2.0, even in countries like Iran. So, we DO choose to make the most of life by not having unnecessary kids. It's the very poor countries that a problem for the human population. Maybe those people don't get the same opportunities to enjoy life, and having kids becomes natural to them.

I have a question to you, I presume we are in a similar age group. How do you make the most of the opportunities that life offers you? Do you not get bored in the evenings?

 

[s.a.f]

Its not about filling time in the evenings its about having freedom, less responsibilities. Being able to do what you want when you want. Having money to spend on yourself. All I hear about from people with kids is moaning about having to fit their lives around the school run ect having no lie ins in the mornings and not being able to afford things.
Again people are conditioned by society to feel like its a course they must take. And I see plenty of examples of parents trying to have it all ie kids and career and still have the fun they had in their youth going out ect.
As I said before I've been around people with kids I lived with my sister when she had hers until it was 4 and to me it seemed like an absolute nightmare. I honestly think I'd take prison over having kids! I also seriously think you should need a license to have them!
The fact is the world needs a smaller population anyway.

 

[virtuality]

I don't think you've answered my question.

I still would like to know how you do the most of the opportunities you get??? Do you do all those things young people do, eg going out, socialising, etc??? Or, do you have a hobby that fulfills your expectations?

I get plenty of time to do whatever I want, but I can't create any "opportunities". So, I really don't know what those opportunities you say we have are. My job is comfortable, but there is no excitement in my life.

I presume I don't have a gf at the moment, we are on a break, but I don't want to get back with her. She wanted to go on a holiday this summer, but that plan isn't gonna happen.

I took some time off between jobs last year and I didn't use any of my holidays. It turns out, I still have 20 days of holidays from last year and 20 days from this year. I'm going abroad for 5 days, a mini Euro trip, I'm probably going to a music festival if anyone comes with me, and maybe 10 days of a beach holiday. That means I still have 20 days of holidays, and I haven't got a clue what to do with them. I could be on holidays pretty much for the whole summer, The only problem is, I don't want to sit at home or on a beach on my own for such a long time.

All those things I'm doing this summer, I could do with a kid as well. I have friends who have taken their kids to music festivals, so the kids are not a real excuse. TBH, I'd rather have a family to share my time with than stay at home on my own. It's not the social pressure, it's just that I have come to an age where I don't see the same opportunities you are talking about. I had fun in my youth and I don't enjoy the same things anymore.

Besides, I was temporarily staying in my brother's place when my nephew was born. Having a kid is hard work, but it's not as bad as you make it sound. Kids could be a real joy, if you look at it from a positive angle.

I made it sound as if I'm desperate to get married and have kids. I'm not, but I can see the positives of it. If I was so desperate, I'd be looking for a new gf,

 

[HairPieceMan]

yeah...kids are retarded, I have no idea why it's so awesome to have them, im 25 now, if i ever get good at dating scene i plan to be hittin the clubs at 35 getting young tail, not sitting with ageing wife feeding a crying baby...that is loser/beta male life.

 

[HairPieceMan]

take most men that have true sexual power, how many of them cling on to average -at best- looking wives their age into 30s/40s/50s

yes some but not the majority, have you ever noticed a correlation to men with large fame/power and the waiste size (size 10), physical features (hot), and age of their partner (usually a lot younger).

so yes I would say those guys are at the top of their game, living life to the max!

wearing hair is a means to an end, It is best to remain NW1 forever, and whether it's a magic pill or a hair system is kindof irrelevent, the end result is the same NW1 for life.

it's akin to asking a toothless person why he wears teeth, it's a mean to an end, to accomplish to goal of looking natural and good.

yeah i am aware there is a practical function to teeth, but im speaking of the visual aspect only.

 

[virtuality]

Was at work today, I was talking to one of my colleagues about something I want to do in the future. His answer was "since you wouldn't make kids, go and make something useful"... It was meant to be a joke with a touch of reality.

 

[ghg]

Probably not... part of me would want to have kids, but the other part is afraid that the poor child would inherit all my bad genetic traits. That wouldn't be fun to watch.

 

[HairPieceMan]

well so far I havn't felt pressure, but then again im 25, maybe at 35 people might start asking what is up, but since I don't have hairloss -ahem- ppl will probably still think im 25 at 35 anyway, and 35 at 45 as well (bad wig joke)

but overall i see it as a woman type thing to feel pressure, i mean a man can have a kid anytime.

like when I think a man doesn't have kids at 35, i don't think it's a problem, he is free, but for a woman this is a different situation all together.

I think men are more interested in being with a woman sexually, not really -inherantaly- intersted in packing school lunches for a 6 year old, unless the girl is super hot or something and he needs to supplicate massively to keep her.

I mean isn't it a girls dream to be married and have kids, where as a mans dream is to just get fit girls a lot?

look at jack and kelly osborne, jack has many sexual liasons as he has money fame and power, what about kelly, she doesn't really have that kind of lifestyle, mainly becuase i think men and women seek diferent things, and I feel the kids "dream" to be a womans thing, or a mans if it doesn't affect his lifestyle.

this is just my general thoughts, since age of 14 i have never wanted kids,, I guess people have different goals.

but yeah I still roll my eyes a lot when i see someone have a kid, like some guys at my old work, im like WHY MAN lol

 

[virtuality]

Probably not... part of me would want to have kids, but the other part is afraid that the poor child would inherit all my bad genetic traits. That wouldn't be fun to watch.

No offense, but that is so typical of someone with low self esteem. You have a very good facial features, lots of men would kill for that.

like when I think a man doesn't have kids at 35, i don't think it's a problem, he is free, but for a woman this is a different situation all together.

I think that changes with age.

You are right that the biological clock is different for both sexes, but that doesn't mean men don't want to settle down.