For those who think they will never get a decent looking girlfriend

[jd_uk]

I do find it funny that whenever someone tries to put an argument up against fred's and his follower's point of view on bald/ing guys life, and say something like "I see bald guys dating decent/good looking girls all the time", or bringing up whatever reason or opinion that the dating scene is not all lost for bald/ing guys, Fred, or any of the people who stick to his mindset, immediately jump and say "oh you're just coping, it's all coping"

Every thing is coping, everyone is coping, without coping you can't survive in this life, blaming everything on your lack of hair is also coping, saying all of your problems with women is only because of your baldness, and that the only reason women cheat or leave a bald/ing guy, is because of his hair is absolutely coping.

"I'm a wonderful person, amazing personality, but all the girls leave me because of my hair"

Yeah ok. coping.

It's only recently after scouring those lookism and sl*thate forums (after they were mentioned on here) that I learnt about all this 'coping' BS. I honestly struggle to know what to say about these people but they all need some psychological help that is for sure.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Sorry? I've not exactly spent a great deal of time even in discussions with 'Fred'. Certainly not recently. I do however think someone who literally writes the same "its all looks" post and is blatantly rude/offensive to people, even younger and new members of the forum (see the recent 16 year old asking for help), make this forum a far worse place. I don't think the guy is sane, I think he exaggerates and I think he think because of his mentality he tries to drag other people down to his level. He certainly isn't a "pleasant guy" as he likes to call himself. I've seen quite a few people in the general area and elsewhere reiterating my feelings and quite honestly it amazes me that he is still allowed to post here. It amazes me more that there are people here who support him but this place does attract all sorts.

Try the engage the ideas and not the person.
Or maybe take a break from engaging.

 

[jd_uk]

Where Fred distinguishes himself, among other areas, is he has the energy and dedication to write 100 posts a week arguing with hair loss and jduk. I don't know how he does it.

Again, that is not true. Fred posts his garbage a million times over by himself. I recently came back on the impact forum to see the same old sh*t being posted. The sad thing about it for me is that there are probably young and impressionable people who haven't had much life experience, read this n*tjobs postings and get super depressed believing every word. I saw a guy in the general forum 'jasonbourne' say the same thing earlier today, although he was far less kind in the way that he said it.

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Try the engage the ideas and not the person.
Or maybe take a break from engaging.

What ARE you on about? The person in question has just one idea and he's written it down about 10,000 times.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Again, that is not true. Fred posts his garbage a million times over by himself. I recently came back on the impact forum to see the same old sh*t being posted. The sad thing about it for me is that there are probably young and impressionable people who haven't had much life experience, read this n*tjobs postings and get super depressed believing every word. I saw a guy in the general forum 'jasonbourne' say the same thing earlier today, although he was far less kind in the way that he said it.

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What ARE you on about? The person in question has just one idea and he's written it down about 10,000 times.

You're speaking like Fred is some sort of prophet for iconoclastic beliefs. Somehow he's responsible for what JasonBourne thinks too.

There are lots of people who think what Fred does, my views were close but not identical to his prior to posting on this forum. I'm sure lots of people think the same. The vehemence of "all looks" that you see is in part blowback against ****ing popular cultrue telling us that women only value if you have a good job, if you have good table manners, and if you're nice to dogs.

People without life experience will eventually come to their own viewpoints by gathering their own life experience, it's not as though he's recruiting people into scientology or militant Islam.

But if you see yourself as a noble ideological warrior taking on the evil Fred and his dangerous, unique ideas then the best way for you to do that is to engage the ideas, rather than go on an angry rant that suggests that you are, in fact, coping.

 

[pjhair]

loving you for who you are doesn't matter anyway, loving someone for who they are is something that always ends after sometime, routine, boredom, sht starting up.
most important thing in a relationship is physical attraction, core physical attraction, that doesn't really end ever, it's the greatest mistake ever to go into a relationship with someone who likes you and attracted to you for who you are but has no physical attraction to you, the two lines can easily mix together and blur so it's not easy to tell.

the person itself could not realize it, classic example of that are all those girls who say "I didn't want him at first but it grew on me" or "I wasn't really into him but I fell in love with his character", that means she wasn't physically attracted to the person, but she started liking him (for who he is/ for his character) and then she starts feeling attraction to the person, but that's because she is attracted to their character/nature, and not physically attracted to them. that kind of attraction to character/nature always ends after time passes, at first you think the person is amazing, you admire them, all that bs, then after some times and good old routine things get boring, you're tired of their sht and you see that they are nothing special, and then that attraction to their character ends.

but, if you were physically attracted to that girl from day one (you can clearly feel attraction after like 30 minutes of being around the person, it's either you want to f*ck them or not) that attraction doesn't end, unless they physically change.

I think you brought some very valid points that are worth exploring in more detail. This was the kind of discussion I was hoping to start when I created this thread. You said quite accurately that the relationships that start solely because one or both partner are attracted to each other personalities rest on weak foundation. These kind of relationships only last as long as people still like each others personalities. When freshness of relationship wears off and problems start surfacing, there is real danger of break up. However, if the couple was physically attracted to each other to begin with, they are more likely to survive the problems because they have looks to fall back on.

The fact is that good looking people have break ups’ too. If looks were everything, then why did break up’s happens in the first place? It tells me that there are other factors beyond looks that do influence relationships. What are those other factors? Fred or one of his followers may argue that good looking couples probably break up because they find even better looking people. But that is simply not true. There are plenty of cases where people had affair with lesser looking people than their partner/spouse. Also, there are plenty of marriages and relationships that break up without any cheating at all. People just grow apart. It even happens to movie stars. What explains that? The fact is that the factors like personality, compatibility, financial situation, values etc do matter in relationships. Just like couples who rely on each others personality have danger of break ups, couples who rely on looks have danger of breakup when freshness of relationship wears off. It’s extremely important to have both. Relationships are NOT the same as one night stands where looks do matter the most. Those who think otherwise are in for a rude and unfortunate awakening if and when they do get married.

 

[jd_uk]

You're speaking like Fred is some sort of prophet for iconoclastic beliefs. Somehow he's responsible for what JasonBourne thinks too.

There are lots of people who think what Fred does, my views were close but not identical to his prior to posting on this forum. I'm sure lots of people think the same. The vehemence of "all looks" that you see is in part blowback against ****ing popular cultrue telling us that women only value if you have a good job, if you have good table manners, and if you're nice to dogs.

People without life experience will eventually come to their own viewpoints by gathering their own life experience, it's not as though he's recruiting people into scientology or militant Islam.

But if you see yourself as a noble ideological warrior taking on the evil Fred and his dangerous, unique ideas then the best way for you to do that is to engage the ideas, rather than go on an angry rant that suggests that you are, in fact, coping.

Um..have you actually read anything I just wrote?

 

[Hairon]

I think you brought some very valid points that are worth exploring in more detail. This was the kind of discussion I was hoping to start when I created this thread. You said quite accurately that the relationships that start solely because one or both partner are attracted to each other personalities rest on weak foundation. These kind of relationships only last as long as people still like each others personalities. When freshness of relationship wears off and problems start surfacing, there is real danger of break up. However, if the couple was physically attracted to each other to begin with, they are more likely to survive the problems because they have looks to fall back on.

The fact is that good looking people have break ups’ too. If looks were everything, then why did break up’s happens in the first place? It tells me that there are other factors beyond looks that do influence relationships. What are those other factors? Fred or one of his followers may argue that good looking couples probably break up because they find even better looking people. But that is simply not true. There are plenty of cases where people had affair with lesser looking people than their partner/spouse. Also, there are plenty of marriages and relationships that break up without any cheating at all. People just grow apart. It even happens to movie stars. What explains that? The fact is that the factors like personality, compatibility, financial situation, values etc do matter in relationships. Just like couples who rely on each others personality have danger of break ups, couples who rely on looks have danger of breakup when freshness of relationship wears off. It’s extremely important to have both. Relationships are NOT the same as one night stands where looks do matter the most. Those who think otherwise are in for a rude and unfortunate awakening if and when they do get married.

I agree with every word.
I also agree with many things Fred say, but he is fanatic, looks is almost everything- agree. but looks is not literally everything.
in a long term relationship looks isn't everything, it's very important, most important thing perhaps, but not everything.

in flings, short term relationships, and just sex- then yes, looks is everything, if you're looking for just sex, of course you'd want to do it with someone who looks good to you.
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on another note, looks is something that is also shaped by society and culture, it's not entirely biological, in western countries tan skin is attractive, but in eastern countries, the whiter you are the sexier you are to them.
Fred himself said that when he went to thailand (I think it was thailand) girls were begging to have sex with him, not asking for money, and even offering to pay him for dinner, now if they did not ask for money, and even offered to pay HIM, the only explanation is that they found him attractive, so attractiveness also has a factor of how it is perceived in different cultures. or at least a little part of it.

 

[pjhair]

in a long term relationship looks isn't everything, it's very important, most important thing perhaps, but not everything.

in flings, short term relationships, and just sex- then yes, looks is everything, if you're looking for just sex, of course you'd want to do it with someone who looks good to you.
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Exactly. That's the distinction people on this forum who claim looks is everything usually don't make. They make gross generalizations as if all types and stages of relationships require the same ingredients.

 

[F2005]

First of all, I can't believe this thread got so damn long in only a day!! I kind of knew what would happen though. People who had essentially full heads of hair would downplay the effects of outer looks and talk about all of the "thousands" of bald men out there who are scoring hot women. And then you'd have people who have actually suffered the devastating effects of true baldness who preach from firsthand experience, which cannot be replaced. I mean, an NW2 guy cannot really relate to that instance that Uncomfortable Man unfortunately went through (where the guy behind him on line at the supermarket made a terrible anti-bald comment) and they do not know what it is like to look in the mirror, see your appearance eroding right before your eyes, and just hate the way that you look. My friends with full heads of hair say the same thing, how being bald is not that bad and that I am overreacting. But then when I invite them to shave their heads for a single day (just a single day!), none of them will ever do it. I wonder why.

PJHair, I really do not say any of this to disrespect you or your views at all since you seem like a level-headed guy. The only thing I have against you is that since you are from Dallas, you might be a dreaded Cowboys fan (-:

Unfortunately I just do not see bald men walking around with beautiful women all the time. Most beautiful women that I see are with men with decent heads of hair, which really is an essential component of being handsome. I am not saying that all bald men cannot get a beautiful woman. Not at all. One of my old boxing buddies is married to a beautiful woman. He shaved his head soon after he started losing his hair and he never really let hair loss negatively affect him. When I started losing my hair, he sent me an e-mail with words of encouragement and even though we are no longer friends, I still saved his e-mails because he is practicing what he preaches. He knows the true effects of baldness because he's lived it. But unfortunately he is just the exception to the rule and not the norm. The vast majority of good-looking women that I've seen are with men with decent heads of hair. I've seen only a handful of men with shaved heads with beautiful women yet I've never seen a man with a grown-out horseshoe with a good-looking woman.

Of course there are other factors involved in a relationship besides looks and I would never pretend otherwise. But outer looks really are a prerequisite that is non-negotiable. And even if it wasn't, who would want to be an ugly guy with a good-looking woman? Most guys take great pride in their looks and would want to look good regardless of the issues related to scoring women.

Unfortunately, PJ may be right that hair loss prohibits most bald men from being players and many bald men do not take that lightly. Lots of young balding guys want to be players and that is taken away from them due to a lousy defective gene. One of my friends just got out of a terrible relationship and one of his saving graces is that he has the outer looks (and the full head of hair) to actually be a player, and I believe that helps him overcome the devastation of his breakup.

 

[Hairon]

Every man wants to be a player and fc*k all the women they can fc*k, hair is not the only factor in the ability to do that or not. being bald takes it away from you, but also being ugly, fat, or just no attractive enough.
So what are you complaining about? if someone wanted to be a player but they can't, they will blame whatever reason they have for their inability to be one, do you know how many average and ugly looking guys there are out there WITH full head of hairs? but none of them is a player, because they just aren't good looking enough, so what are they blaming then?

I don't get what you guys are complaining for, it's like I'm saying, it's coping for all of your problems, " I can't score hotties all night long because I have no hair", no bro, you can't score hotties all night long because you're just don't look good enough and that's not because of your hair, it's because of your face. getting back your full head of hair might increase your chances but you will still not be a player.
that's your way to deal with such a thing, blaming it all on the baldness.

Hair is not the one magical thing that changes a guy from an incel to a slayer, sorry, it just doesn't work like that.

 

[Roberto_72]

Unfortunately, PJ may be right that hair loss prohibits most bald men from being players and many bald men do not take that lightly. Lots of young balding guys want to be players and that is taken away from them due to a lousy defective gene. One of my friends just got out of a terrible relationship and one of his saving graces is that he has the outer looks (and the full head of hair) to actually be a player, and I believe that helps him overcome the devastation of his breakup.

I really liked this post, thank you. However, I would extend your reasoning and add that many young men would like to try and see what it means to be players, but others just need to accumulate reasonable experience to then be able to act as their best possible selves when they find "the right person". I mean: if you are thinning at 20 and fewer girls are attracted to you, chances are that, when you find the right one at 25, you blow it because you don't have the average experience needed to handle a relationship.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

hair is not the only factor

You must be on the nobel prize shortlist.

 

[pjhair]

Unfortunately I just do not see bald men walking around with beautiful women all the time. Most beautiful women that I see are with men with decent heads of hair, which really is an essential component of being handsome. I am not saying that all bald men cannot get a beautiful woman. Not at all. One of my old boxing buddies is married to a beautiful woman. He shaved his head soon after he started losing his hair and he never really let hair loss negatively affect him. When I started losing my hair, he sent me an e-mail with words of encouragement and even though we are no longer friends, I still saved his e-mails because he is practicing what he preaches. He knows the true effects of baldness because he's lived it. But unfortunately he is just the exception to the rule and not the norm. The vast majority of good-looking women that I've seen are with men with decent heads of hair. I've seen only a handful of men with shaved heads with beautiful women yet I've never seen a man with a grown-out horseshoe with a good-looking woman.

Excellent post. I can't really argue against it. My position, that bald men can get decent looking women, relies on my personal observation. I have seen bald or short men with good looking women plenty of times. Since your observation is completely different, you have reached a different conclusion. Since, both of our arguments rely on similar reasoning, they are equally valid for us. Also, I think we both agree that baldness severely impacts a mans ability to attract women. We only seem to disagree about the extent to which it impacts.

 

[F2005]

Every man wants to be a player and fc*k all the women they can fc*k, hair is not the only factor in the ability to do that or not. being bald takes it away from you, but also being ugly, fat, or just no attractive enough.
So what are you complaining about? if someone wanted to be a player but they can't, they will blame whatever reason they have for their inability to be one, do you know how many average and ugly looking guys there are out there WITH full head of hairs? but none of them is a player, because they just aren't good looking enough, so what are they blaming then?

I don't get what you guys are complaining for, it's like I'm saying, it's coping for all of your problems, " I can't score hotties all night long because I have no hair", no bro, you can't score hotties all night long because you're just don't look good enough and that's not because of your hair, it's because of your face. getting back your full head of hair might increase your chances but you will still not be a player.
that's your way to deal with such a thing, blaming it all on the baldness.

Hair is not the one magical thing that changes a guy from an incel to a slayer, sorry, it just doesn't work like that.

With me, this certainly was not the case, since I never really had any problems with my appearance before hair loss. Hair may not be the difference between becoming incel and slayer, but it does drastically hurt a person's chances with regards to women. With all due respect, if you didn't have most of your hair, you'd probably understand a lot better.

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I really liked this post, thank you. However, I would extend your reasoning and add that many young men would like to try and see what it means to be players, but others just need to accumulate reasonable experience to then be able to act as their best possible selves when they find "the right person". I mean: if you are thinning at 20 and fewer girls are attracted to you, chances are that, when you find the right one at 25, you blow it because you don't have the average experience needed to handle a relationship.

Thanks Roberto. Your point about "acting as their best possible selves when they find the right person" is spot on.

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Excellent post. I can't really argue against it. My position, that bald men can get decent looking women, relies on my personal observation. I have seen bald or short men with good looking women plenty of times. Since your observation is completely different, you have reached a different conclusion. Since, both of our arguments rely on similar reasoning, they are equally valid for us. Also, I think we both agree that baldness severely impacts a mans ability to attract women. We only seem to disagree about the extent to which it impacts.

Fair enough PJ. And thanks for the compliment on my post.

 

[Roberto_72]

Excellent post. I can't really argue against it. My position, that bald men can get decent looking women, relies on my personal observation. I have seen bald or short men with good looking women plenty of times. Since your observation is completely different, you have reached a different conclusion. Since, both of our arguments rely on similar reasoning, they are equally valid for us. Also, I think we both agree that baldness severely impacts a mans ability to attract women. We only seem to disagree about the extent to which it impacts.

We will never know this extent mainly because it changes continuously.
I think lots of variables influence it, including some that are not directly related to women's tastes, like:

- fashions and trends (a completely shaved head was considered antisocial until 25 years ago; today, a full grown NW6 is considered madness)
- technology (since smart devices over the good-old-telephone decided the victory of the image over the spoken word)

Funny thing, pjhair: before I joined this forum, I did not realize that actually fewer and fewer balder young men are in a relationship with a great woman. I was thinking about this last Sunday here in Zaragoza: I saw this wonderful 25-30 years old woman with a NW5 and I immediately thought: "how could he be the one"?

The reasons why fewer bald men have great women, IMO?
- more treatments for young bald people
- better hair transplants
- a looks-driven society
This means to me that you are going to feel very lonely if you are not respondent to treatments and are not a good candidate for hair transplant!

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who IS this girl?

 

[CopeForLife]

who IS this girl? 

https://www.instagram.com/kalanimiller/?hair loss=en

**** she is hot

 

[pjhair]

Looks are all that matter in a relationship too.

Too many women I've met told me they were treated like dirt, beaten by the ex, yet stayed with him for years and years.

Of course on their pictures, you'll see this tall guy with model-looks.

Having a kind personality that's compatible with hers is nice, but that's all it is. It's absolutely not required.

Human mating isn't about having common interests, it's about the woman wanting to have sex with the guy.

And if the guy is handsome to her, all his other characteristics will become irrelevant.

Put yourself in their shoes, you have that gorgeous woman that makes your c*** rock hard giving you a chance: you won't care if she treats you like dirt, or smokes, or kills kittens at breakfast. Admit it, you'll become her devoted slave, especially if you're one of the incels on this forum.

It's comical to see so many fullheads fighting common sense because they're afraid of being alone once they become bald. But hey, your amazing personality, cooking skills and eloquence will save you! "Looks are only a factor!"

Just wait.

That's a pretty extreme statement and simply doesn't jibe with I have seen in real life. Yes, looks are extremely important, probably the most important factor when it comes to strengthening a relationship. But they are not everything. If they were, we will never see good looking people breaking up, unless they find someone better looking. But that is often not the case. They don't always break up to date better looking people. Many times they break up because of lack of compatibility. You underestimate the effect that compatibility issues can have in a relationship.

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We will never know this extent mainly because it changes continuously.
I think lots of variables influence it, including some that are not directly related to women's tastes, like:

- fashions and trends (a completely shaved head was considered antisocial until 25 years ago; today, a full grown NW6 is considered madness)
- technology (since smart devices over the good-old-telephone decided the victory of the image over the spoken word)

Completely agree with this. There are far too many variables.

 

[CopeForLife]

Undeniaby true, once again. Looks are the foundation of human relations, and below a certain "aesthetic margin" (4/10) they treat you like you were a retarded subhuman, and will not show you even a false display of respect.

And to quote the first part of your comment, I'm ugly, Norwood 4 and 5'9'' at age 24. Wherever I go people look at me with a mixture of pity and disgust, I don't even mention how women treat me everyday. I don't even hope to get ugly women, even they wish for good looking guys.

have u posted any photos? just curios

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Nope, but I'll post pictures of my hair soon, since I'm seeing no result with finasteride + minoxidil.

Congratulations.

 

[CopeForLife]

Nope, but I'll post pictures of my hair soon, since I'm seeing no result with finasteride + minoxidil.

it is impossible