If it's not my hair loss and looks, why do women reject me??

seb

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monty1978 said:
I can't stand people who judge people on their looks, clothes, whether they are cool looking or not. When I say judge, I mean negatively and treat accordingly. Those sorts of people should be put down IMO!

I dont think there is a week goes by on the rounds that I dont get abuse,thus if so many think I am malformed,I must be!
 

Man in Space

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You can put them down i guess but i personally think all the time that you are responding to them then they are still dictating the terms of the relationship dynamic between the two of you. The second you disregard them and forget about them you are back in control of the dynamic and they cease to have any sort of affect on you. All we ever know is what is on in our heads, its up to you how much you let the jerks in, i only have time to let the cool people in and the more you only let the good guys in, the more the jerks seem irrellevent!
 

seb

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Man in Space said:
You can put them down i guess but i personally think all the time that you are responding to them then they are still dictating the terms of the relationship dynamic between the two of you. The second you disregard them and forget about them you are back in control of the dynamic and they cease to have any sort of affect on you. All we ever know is what is on in our heads, its up to you how much you let the jerks in, i only have time to let the cool people in and the more you only let the good guys in, the more the jerks seem irrellevent!


I agree,but what they say affects me,not because I care about them/or value their opinion,but essentially what they say is right...I dont like myself.
 

Man in Space

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Well this is the crux of the problem with you Seb its your perception of yourself that is the problem, other peoples are not as important. Your a very sensitive man, i hope you can learn to like yourself.

Im lucky in that i have always been of the belief that life is short and i dont have time to not like myself. Ive got plenty of things about me that i dont like both appearences and mentally, but when i boil it all down i just think sod it im rocking this, what else can i do. When you consider that before you there was nothingness, and after there is nothingness, then while there is something to be had, lets be having it!

Life is like a casino, you give it your best but the house always wins. Some people win big, some people lose it all on a huge roll of the dice. You are someone who has some change in his pockets but is sitting on the sidelines, watching it all the winners and losers resenting them, knowing they are all caught up in the moment. Well the way i see it, if you know that whatever happens you are leaving with empty pockets, then what is the harm in getting up, rolling a few and having a ball before they kick you out?! Stuff them all, Raise a little hell and then its goodnight from me!
 

seb

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Man in Space said:
Well this is the crux of the problem with you Seb its your perception of yourself that is the problem, other peoples are not as important. Your a very sensitive man, i hope you can learn to like yourself.

Im lucky in that i have always been of the belief that life is short and i dont have time to not like myself. Ive got plenty of things about me that i dont like both appearences and mentally, but when i boil it all down i just think sod it im rocking this, what else can i do. When you consider that before you there was nothingness, and after there is nothingness, then while there is something to be had, lets be having it!

Life is like a casino, you give it your best but the house always wins. Some people win big, some people lose it all on a huge roll of the dice. You are someone who has some change in his pockets but is sitting on the sidelines, watching it all the winners and losers resenting them, knowing they are all caught up in the moment. Well the way i see it, if you know that whatever happens you are leaving with empty pockets, then what is the harm in getting up, rolling a few and having a ball before they kick you out?! Stuff them all, Raise a little hell and then its goodnight from me!

I like youre parables :) ,but is there one big difference it seems in you and I....I am hoping(which is an alien concept for me) there is something after this worls,this is a just a test too see where one goes.
We all have crosses to bear,in my case people(not all, BUT the majority of people who come into contact with me) despise me,not just because of my lack of hair,but my other features,and my visible awkwardness around people....at this present time I severely failing this test.
 

Man in Space

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I am aware you think like that, im naturally highly sceptical but i remain agnostic on the situation and fully respect your beliefs. For me im not gonna take the chance, Im having it while im here. Im gonna be as nice as i can to myself and everyone i meet but i dont do that on the off chance of a spare ticket to somewhere else, i do it as it feels right to me and if there were some other place and i got it wrong, well, at least i did no harm :dunno:

Oh and i wouldnt despise you, here or in 'real' life, your a good hearted person, thats all that matters to me
 

seb

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You know,I was never as bad as this a few years ago...but the more you live on this planet and look around at so many things that are wrong(most of all the actions of humans) then one cant help become extemely cynical and hypersensitive.....although in saying that,even as a child,I was very moody,extremely shy...nothing changed,I just dont like the human race,and the processes of life.
Regarding playing the game,yes,for example,where I live,I had too be submissive too the landlord,"yes barry","no problem barry","ok barry","sorry barry".There is no choice,...if only one could live in the wilds of the pyrenees. :)
 

seb

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Man in Space said:
I am aware you think like that, im naturally highly sceptical but i remain agnostic on the situation and fully respect your beliefs. For me im not gonna take the chance, Im having it while im here. Im gonna be as nice as i can to myself and everyone i meet but i dont do that on the off chance of a spare ticket to somewhere else, i do it as it feels right to me and if there were some other place and i got it wrong, well, at least i did no harm :dunno:

Oh and i wouldnt despise you, here or in 'real' life, your a good hearted person, thats all that matters to me

Yes,it comes down too a question of basic morals,and a sense of right and wrong,believe it or not,I dont like being nasty,or haivng the confrontation,I just want a quiet life,but people force me too hate them(although,when provoked I can be a nasty peice of work).Anyway thank you for the nice comments.
 

Man in Space

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Haha seb I can relate, I remember being at school in the fields at break at the age of 8, everyone was playing kiss chase and stuck in the mud, i was playing and then i went and sat on the sidelines and started watching, i can remember at that age thinking it was all so fleeting. Some girl came over who had playing an tried to get me back involved and i can remember instinctively knowing i didnt want to. I didnt realise at the time but that was a behavioural decision i was making that would play out through so much of my life. Ive always been an outsider since

I hear many of the things you do but fundamentally nothing can convince me they not the are wrong voices. I am convinced that life is pointless and that as such, the only things worthwhile are human relationships with good hearted people and helping those around you get along and remaining impervious to negative influence, life is so short and so precious that to me at least, it doesnt make one iota of sense to waste it feeling sad about society or down about myself or how others perceive me. Thats not to say i dont sometimes, but i know that when i do its wrong, happiness, close bonds with good people, sure it all means nothing in the scheme of infinite, but in the light of my situation, they are the only things that validate my existence. When I see happiness in the eyes of loved ones, i know i am glad to have lived.
 

theangryone

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Primo said:
But UM, he's not even bald, he's one of those NW3s that you regularly sneer at, "how does he know what it feels like to be bald?" etc etc

Angry, it sounds like you've tried hard and your having some problems with the NW3 look.

Actually, I'm not NW3 anymore, I'm NW4 now. I stopped being able to get women when I hit NW3 at age 21. I am now NW4 at age 28.


Primo said:
I don't want to sound patronising but do you dress smart when you go out? Because obviously good, sharp clothes(i,e, fitted shirt, smart trousers, good shoes) make a big difference for us in these situations and unfortunately once you get into NW3+ territory, no girl is going to take you seriously if you're still rocking very casual teenage/early20s clothing (not saying you are).

I actually dress a lot better than I did when I had hair and was getting women. It doesn't seem to matter what I wear.


Primo said:
Also do you smoke by any chance? :woot: Cos as a social smoker myself I know that the majority of girls find it repulsive and can smell it a mile off :puke:

Nope, I don't smoke and never have.
 

seb

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Man in Space said:
Haha seb I can relate, I remember being at school in the fields at break at the age of 8, everyone was playing kiss chase and stuck in the mud, i was playing and then i went and sat on the sidelines and started watching, i can remember at that age thinking it was all so fleeting. Some girl came over who had playing an tried to get me back involved and i can remember instinctively knowing i didnt want to. I didnt realise at the time but that was a behavioural decision i was making that would play out through so much of my life. Ive always been an outsider since

I hear many of the things you do but fundamentally nothing can convince me they are wrong voices. I am convinced that life is pointless and that as such, the only things worthwhile are human relationships with good hearted people and helping those around you get along and remaining impervious to negative influence, life is so short and so precious that to me at least, it doesnt make one iota of sense to waste it feeling sad about society or down about myself or how others perceive me. Thats not to say i dont sometimes, but i know that when i do its wrong, happiness, close bonds with good people, sure it all means nothing in the scheme of infinite, but in the light of my situation, they are the only things that validate my existence. When I see happiness in the eyes of loved ones, i know i am glad to have lived.

It appears you are,essentially a loner.Deep thinkers,with high emotions usually are.
I am not trying too convince you my friend(if anything I have constantly convince myself there is,I hope,something after this life).Hold firm to youre feelings,thats the one thing the rest of the herd cant take away from you.
 

s.a.f

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seb said:
I dont think there is a week goes by on the rounds that I dont get abuse,thus if so many think I am malformed,I must be!

I've just realised my postman is bald and he does nothing to hide it, perhaps I'll have a chat with him sometime and ask how he deals with the 'constant abuse'. :whistle:

If your problem is so bad why not just wear a hat during your rounds?
 

seb

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s.a.f said:
seb said:
I dont think there is a week goes by on the rounds that I dont get abuse,thus if so many think I am malformed,I must be!

I've just realised my postman is bald and he does nothing to hide it, perhaps I'll have a chat with him sometime and ask how he deals with the 'constant abuse'. :whistle:

If your problem is so bad why not just wear a hat during your rounds?

Here we go,why should I wear a hat....give the f**kers the satsifaction,no I have SOME morsal of pride left.
 

Man in Space

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seb said:
It appears you are,essentially a loner.Deep thinkers,with high emotions usually are.
I am not trying too convince you my friend(if anything I have constantly convince myself there is,I hope,something after this life).Hold firm to youre feelings,thats the one thing the rest of the herd cant take away from you.

haha, yeah Im definately a loner but i am able to function well socially, people know me as a happy outgoing person.

Dont get me wrong, id love for there to be something else, i just dont feel it, i cant console myself with that. Haha and thanks, if there is one thing im sure of its that the herd hasnt got sh*t on me, for better or for worse ive always gone my own way.
 

seb

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Man in Space said:
seb said:
It appears you are,essentially a loner.Deep thinkers,with high emotions usually are.
I am not trying too convince you my friend(if anything I have constantly convince myself there is,I hope,something after this life).Hold firm to youre feelings,thats the one thing the rest of the herd cant take away from you.

haha, yeah Im definately a loner but i am able to function well socially, people know me as a happy outgoing person.

Dont get me wrong, id love for there to be something else, i just dont feel it, i cant console myself with that. Haha and thanks, if there is one thing im sure of its that the herd hasnt got sh*t on me, for better or for worse ive always gone my own way.

Think about it.With my negative,dour mindset,if I didnt hold hope there is something higher than this life,then I would give up and go off the rails,thus leading a life that is not right for ME.I know what you will counter that by saying, live life each day as if it is youre last,but that just wouldnt work for me.
 

s.a.f

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seb said:
s.a.f said:
seb said:
I dont think there is a week goes by on the rounds that I dont get abuse,thus if so many think I am malformed,I must be!

I've just realised my postman is bald and he does nothing to hide it, perhaps I'll have a chat with him sometime and ask how he deals with the 'constant abuse'. :whistle:

If your problem is so bad why not just wear a hat during your rounds?

Here we go,why should I wear a hat....give the f**kers the satsifaction,no I have SOME morsal of pride left.

Yeah I'm sure they all set their alarms especially just to catch you mornings.
 

Man in Space

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seb said:
Think about it.With my negative,dour mindset,if I didnt hold hope there is something higher than this life,then I would give up and go off the rails,thus leading a life that is not right for ME.I know what you will counter that by saying, live life each day as if it is youre last,but that just wouldnt work for me.

I completely understand your rationale, have you ever read dostoyevskies 'notes from the underground'? believe me, i know the depths of what your talking about, its just that for me, it makes no sense to hope for a second life, it makes sense to be tough and deal with it now. Its not about being a shiny happy person, its about manning up and saying right, starting now im cracking on.
Its just that for me, the second life is a safety net, it vindicates your patterns of behaviour when i think you may be better off taking the safety net and confronting this world head on.

Its difficult, especially for somone like you whp wont even give yourself a chance as you are so busy hating yourself. It takes some modicum of self worth to say, im worth picking myself up from here starting now, i hope for your sake that you are able to find enjoyment in this life as if you are wrong then that would have been a huge waste of a precious opportunity
 
B

Beingbaldsucks

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The angryone can you plz post a pic of you? I'm interested to know what kind of man will hit on obese woman and get rejected
 
B

Beingbaldsucks

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Confidence is important but looks is the entering ticket, confidence is in the second step, a bald guy will never pass the first step with most girls
 

slipy

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Man in Space said:
How can you have a problem with judgemental people, we are all forming judgements 24/7, our whole conception of self is by defining ourself in opposition and comparison to others. To say you have a problem with 'judgemental' people is a judgement in itself.

monty1978 said:
I can't stand people who judge people on their looks, clothes, whether they are cool looking or not. When I say judge, I mean negatively and treat accordingly. Those sorts of people should be put down IMO!

^ this is what i essentially had in my mind. we form judgements but there are many of those out there that don't have enough sense in them to realize that judgements are better kept inside thus leaving other people alone.
 
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