@jd_uk doesn't seem to realize, or at the very least acknolwedge, that he is privileged in numerous ways that help compensate for his hair loss.
- He has enough of a chameleon personality that he can just overturn his social life whenever a social circle rejects him;
- He has the physical frame and endocrine system necessary for robust athleticism;
- Good physical health;
- He's born in a rich country (England), which is a better place for the median person to be born in than say the USA or Italy;
- He has access to money, given that he's seen 30 countries in 6 years. I don't think he meant taking a train across Europe and seeing countries from the window of the train;
- His intelligence is above-average, as is evidenced from his posts which tend to be coherently written with a decent amount of content;
The effects of hair loss vary from person to person. If somebody has fewer advantages, it can be devastating, as they will fall below the minimum requirements needed to be accepted and valued by society.
While I am grateful for some kind words there, I feel like I should respond with a couple of points too.
The first one, I do have an outgoing personality. This was actually largely developed through travel. Years ago after a bad split with a long term girlfriend I decided I needed to see the world and I feel that it definitely broadened my horizons. Prior to that (and even occasionally since), there have been periods of my life where I experienced unbelievable social anxiety and I was so shy at times when I was a teeenager that I could barely open my mouth to speak to people. Indeed as a teenager I did experience some very restrictive health issues which I was extremely fortunate to have corrected.
Yes, it can take some strength of character to say 'f*ck you' to a social circle who start treating you differently based on appearance but honestly I am not someone who will accept being put in a box. I can be extremely competitive. When that happened to me it hurt but I couldn't let other small minded people get the better of me. If i were to think about it then I suppose my biggest asset is my competitive nature and sense of self. I always believed that if I put my mind to something then I could achieve it and I am the sort of person these days who could meet president Obama tomorrow and just be like 'oh wow cool, but at the end of the day he is just another guy'. I guess you could say I am slightly arrogant but why shouldn't anybody else here be? If society wants to put you in a box then why the f*ck let them? When those guys tried mocking me about balding I ignored it two, three, four times...didn't react. I told myself that it was their own limitations - their sheep like behaviour. The funny thing is that one of the group (who is a really nice guy typically) even came up to me on the dancefloor one night when I was with that US guy and some girls and said "<myname>, you're acting like you're on that guys level". I wasn't even shocked but replied "I am" and carried on chatting to the girls I was with, one of whom I got with, all the while the guys from my social group sat around looking at each other like lemons. I'm 100% certain that it p*ssed them off to see me doing well. In their small minds I was now balding and should not be doing well with women and should be showing shame and lack of confidence because of it. But you see, to the American marine guy I was just a confident, sociable Brit who was comfortable enough to chat to anyone and fun to hang out with.
I feel like I'm in danger of sounding like some self help guru here but I believe that everybody has the ability to work on themselves and everybody, no matter their intelligence level has the ability to be good at something. Following on from that, if everybody has the ability to good about something then everybody has the ability to feel proud about something. Why spend it feeling sh*t and wallowing when you can improve yourself and feel good? As I get older I've realised that life is not as black and white as some people like to make out. There will be good people and there will be sh*t peoplem. There will be very superficial people and people who are much less so? Zircon is saying it is crazy to change social groups and fine, if you can avoid doing so then great. But at the same time, why waste the one life you have on this earth around people who are going to put you down or treat you badly for completely superficial reasons? I suppose some people's lives are more set in stone than others but again, as I get older I have less time for sh*t people.
On the point of England...well, it really isn't always so great. I can't complain but I have been places where quality of life could be better in my opinion. It is home but we don't half have a lot of stupid people here.
Also, physically...yep I have made no secret here of my athleticism. But so much of that is from hard work and (although we disagree on this) knowledge/education on the lifestyle required to have an athletic body.
I should also add that I am not tall. Just around 5' 11. Maybe even half an inch shorter. I was never someone who felt the need to be taller, I guess because I felt confident enough in my athleticism that I didn't feel physically inferior in any way next to a taller guy.
My general message remains the same. Would I recommend this forum to people who are struggling with hair loss? Not really because there is far too much negativity and people feeling sorry for themselves. I totally understand the odd moment of it because I've totally been there...but do not waste your one life.
