- Reaction score
- 1,471
Confidence still isn't well defined to me. Neither is 'vibe'. Even if it can be well defined, it exists in somebody else's (an observer) consciousness not mine. I see many traditionally diffident guys doing great as long as they look good. @Feelsbadman used to be one before hair loss. Each person likes to feel like they are empowered and deserve their lot in life. "it wasn't my looks, which are god given, but my confidence that I worked on". I think that it's much more nuanced the same as somebody saying "it wasn't my expensive education paid for by my parents , i worked hard to get to where I am".
Cristiano Ronaldo works very hard but same for all Premier league superstars. He's top because he is genetically a perfect football player. Similarly, most kids who failed to go pro probably were lacking in raw skill, not confidence or mindset. So yes I don't buy the confidence theory. The day that confidence outperforms looks, I might start.
The best way to describe ‘vibe’ is how well you get on with someone mentally.
Putting dating aside, have you ever met people, where the moment you start talking to them, you get on like a house on fire. It feels effortless communicating with them and conversations are enjoyable.
That is what they basically mean by good vibe - it’s the mental connection, Women LOVE this with a guy they find attractive. The thing about vibe, it’s usually either there or it isn’t, you can’t fake it.
Take for example this forum, I get on with @DoctorHouse but think @disfiguredyoungman is a total ***. I knew fairly instantly how the interactions with the two people would go just by their communication style and outlook on life.
You need to meet someone where there is that mental connection who finds you attractive, where if one of the two is missing leads to not being successful.
Mental connection without physical attraction is platonic connection.
Physical attraction without mental connection usually leads to nothing too. I was in a situation recently where I met an attractive girl but her personality was so different to mine (similar to @disfiguredyoungman) that I found her unattractive.