Just Went Out And I Feel Like sh*t

[dralex]

Sorry for my language or whatever but I am still pretty drunk.
(I am 22 btw) So heres the story and this has happened multiple times to me. It is honestly not what you probably are thinking right now, but it still fuckn sucks. So ever since I started losing my hair I have been unable to date/hook up with girls. It seems pathetic but I am literally too afraid they will find out I am balding. Almost no one I know, knows I am balding. It is mostly my hairline and its pretty messed up. I am receding extremely at the temples and also in the center. I am also thinning all over my head in the male pattern baldness areas (I used to have absurdly thick hair so it isn't very noticeable other than the hairline). I am extremely embarrassed to show my hairline so I wear a hat OFTEN and have fairly long hair as it is easier to conceal. It is super fuckn me over with girls though. I have had at least 4 or 5 girls super into me over the past 2 years (since I started losing hair) but I refuse to get close with any girl because I don't want them to discover my hair loss. It is so sad because I can still look good with the level of hair loss I have but at an intimate level there is no way hiding it, and I feel like hair loss is a HUGE weakness. I mostly feel like I am hiding something by not exposing my hair loss so it is not fair to them. I want to shave my head so it feels like I am not hiding anything, but my head is a weird shape under my hair and my hair was like my favorite attribute. I literally don't know what to do because it is literally eating me apart. And the reason I am posting this right now is because a girl I really like who is super into me I literally had to turn down for this reason. And the worst part, I can't explain why to her because it is too embarrassing to me. I literally feel destroyed by hair loss. This is brutal. I probably will feel less shitty tomorrow as I have already gone through this multiple times, but while I am drunk I want to share what I am going through.
Only posting this because I don't know any of you irl. Thanks for listening to my sob story.
EDIT: Not going to respond to anything as of now as I am going to bed. But I have been on propecia and minoxidil for a little over 2 years and they have not slowed my hair loss as much as I can tell (crown possibly). Actually have had sex (far less frequent though), just haven't dated since balding.

 

[xetudor]

You turned down a girl you like and she really likes you? That's not a smart move, to say the least. If you fear the future, then I have bad news for you, you will get older, your body will hurt and you will die. There is no point in letting this decide your happiness.

Do you treat your hair loss in any way?

 

[dralex]

You turned down a girl you like and she really likes you? That's not a smart move, to say the least. If you fear the future, then I have bad news for you, you will get older, your body will hurt and you will die. There is no point in letting this decide your happiness.

Do you treat your hair loss in any way?

Common misconception with hair loss is aging. I don't mind aging. I don't mind going through what everyone else does. I don;t fear death anymore. Losing your hair at 22 is not something everyone else goes through, especially if you don't have the head shape to fit it. It especially sucks because it doesn't run in my family and neither of my older brothers have it so I am the only one stuck with it. I am turning her down because I feel insecure about it and I don't want her telling other people, which I believe would happen. Also I don't like being judged about it. You can say what I am going through isn't a "smart move" but I feel it is the safest move for me.
And I know there are much worse things that people are going through but this is literally killing me.

 

[FWIW]

Wait for Androgenetic Alopecia free body in next life. In this one, it isnt getting better.

 

[Roberto_72]

Sorry for my language or whatever but I am still pretty drunk.
(I am 22 btw) So heres the story and this has happened multiple times to me. It is honestly not what you probably are thinking right now, but it still fuckn sucks. So ever since I started losing my hair I have been unable to date/hook up with girls. It seems pathetic but I am literally too afraid they will find out I am balding. Almost no one I know, knows I am balding. It is mostly my hairline and its pretty messed up. I am receding extremely at the temples and also in the center. I am also thinning all over my head in the male pattern baldness areas (I used to have absurdly thick hair so it isn't very noticeable other than the hairline). I am extremely embarrassed to show my hairline so I wear a hat OFTEN and have fairly long hair as it is easier to conceal. It is super fuckn me over with girls though. I have had at least 4 or 5 girls super into me over the past 2 years (since I started losing hair) but I refuse to get close with any girl because I don't want them to discover my hair loss. It is so sad because I can still look good with the level of hair loss I have but at an intimate level there is no way hiding it, and I feel like hair loss is a HUGE weakness. I mostly feel like I am hiding something by not exposing my hair loss so it is not fair to them. I want to shave my head so it feels like I am not hiding anything, but my head is a weird shape under my hair and my hair was like my favorite attribute. I literally don't know what to do because it is literally eating me apart. And the reason I am posting this right now is because a girl I really like who is super into me I literally had to turn down for this reason. And the worst part, I can't explain why to her because it is too embarrassing to me. I literally feel destroyed by hair loss. This is brutal. I probably will feel less shitty tomorrow as I have already gone through this multiple times, but while I am drunk I want to share what I am going through.
Only posting this because I don't know any of you irl. Thanks for listening to my sob story.
EDIT: Not going to respond to anything as of now as I am going to bed. But I have been on propecia and minoxidil for a little over 2 years and they have not slowed my hair loss as much as I can tell (crown possibly). Actually have had sex (far less frequent though), just haven't dated since balding.

One of the things you learn from baldness is that life is not this canvas where you draw the perfect circle of your beautiful events. It is more of a latrine where every now and then fresh air enters.

Now, you have had the luck that some fresh air entered your loo. Please breathe it before you suffocate.

 

[EvilLocks]

I lost all my hair (in the Norwood 5 area) between 16 and 22.

I'm still alive.

And that is an accomplishment you should be proud of. Going through severe baldness when you're young is one of the most challenging things that can happen to you. I'm proud of myself for still being alive after all I've been through, and so should you.

 

[shookwun]

Been there, and lived the same way op did since I was 16.


A transplant t changed all that at 22.5 years old.


I would tell you to stop being a pusay but I can sympathize considering i was the same way. Do you look like a twink and rely on your hair for being attractive?

 

[blackg]

One of the things you learn from baldness is that life is not this canvas where you draw the perfect circle of your beautiful events. It is more of a latrine where every now and then fresh air enters.

Now, you have had the luck that some fresh air entered your loo. Please breathe it before you suffocate.

Haha... Nice way to put it.

 

[shookwun]

Lifting weights and the loo associated is universally attractI've the same big hips ad tits are associated with being the Ideal on women. Can't die evolution bro. ....

Twink is used to describe a gay face looking guy. Typical weak lookig, frail and can have soft features. Generally someone who lacks looking masculine. To hyper feminine

 

[kj6723]

imo, in the US, the ideal physique is moderate muscle mass, low body fat, shredded stomach.

If you're below 5'8" you can go slightly bulkier to compensate for your height

All these physiques will make you appealing to women without making you look like a weirdo. It's about looking exceptionally fit and healthy, without looking like a roided gym rat.

And don't skip leg day

 

[blackg]

imo, in the US, the ideal physique is moderate muscle mass, low body fat, shredded stomach.

If you're below 5'8" you can go slightly bulkier to compensate for your height

All these physiques will make you appealing to women without making you look like a weirdo. It's about looking exceptionally fit and healthy, without looking like a roided gym rat.

And don't skip leg day

Less men and more women, please dude.

 

[Agent 47]

Dude. I know it's tough. But you have to bear with it.

Can you grow a beard? If the answer is yes, then shave immediately and grow a beard.

Do not go for a long hobo beard tho.
Go for a well groomed, medium lenght beard.

Also call that girl. RIGHT NOW.
Dress up nicely, and go out on a date with her with your new shaved head.

Show yourself confident, and see her reaction.
Do not let male pattern bullshit hold you back, have fun and go get that girl!

 

[blackg]

It looks ridiculous and every meal they will be the first to complain that they have dietary restrictions (which is the lamest thing a guy can say in front of a girl by the way).
.

It's also the lamest thing a guy can say to another man.
If one of my friends said this to me I would tell him his butt looks too big in those pants.

 

[Dante92]

Show yourself confident, and see her reaction.
Do not let male pattern bullshit hold you back, have fun and go get that girl!

 

[kj6723]

Yeah, only if you've got a pretty face. Tiny little detail. Just look at those guys, they all have good faces and excellent bone structure: even with a shitty physique they would still be attractive. Gymcels will never understand this.

You might be surprised. I see plenty of women with meh faces that I would f*ck based on their bodies alone. If we're holding to the theory that men and women are equal in shallowness when it comes to attraction, why wouldn't this go both ways as well.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

dude it is so lame and it happens ALL THE TIME. It is like these guys feel the need to constantly talk about how they are going to the gym and they find a way to weave it into every conversation. One guy i know in particular will complain at every meal saying "I wish i could eat that" and everyone always tells him to stfu and eat it but that is just his way to shift the conversation to how he is working out and can't. I think they think it is a great topic of conversation but it isn't. It is needy, desperate and weak.

Nearly all hobbies sound ridiculous to most people not interested.

Stamp collecting.
Video games.
Film analysis.
TV.
The gym.
Politics.
Watching theatre.
Motorcycling.
The church.
etc.

Only if you hang out in a really intellectual, really progressive crowd will people have a bit more acceptance and interest to things they're not themselves interested in, due to their own natural curiosity. In an intellectual crowd, people will feel a hint of jealousy/excitement if someone else knows anything better than them, it's irrational and silly and ironic.

Even that has exceptions. A few years ago I realized that TV had progressed to the point where it could be worthwhile art and I was watching shows like The Wire and Mad Men. I mentioned it to this career-oriented, appearance-obsessed Chinese-Canadian woman I know at a class reunion, she scoffed and said sarcastically "that's a really productive hobby." Actually, it's extremely productive to watch The Wire, but people really watch it because it's excellent drama.

So back to the gym. It will sound lame to people who are not into it and don't understand the point. You might be confused and believe it's just about attracting the opposite sex. It's mostly about the better self-image and health for most people. Regardless, when people mention it as a hobby, it is likely to come off as annoying to people not interested. There may be an additional stigma with the gym because people know their body will decay faster if they don't exercise, and in turn most people feel bad about choosing to not exercise.

**************************************

As an aside, part of the reason I go to the gym and fast regularly is that I'm allowed a modest quantity of cheat meals as such. I've lost 50 lbs in 14 months and I eat dessert semi-regularly. Your friend is also being an a**h** because he's reminding everyone else at the table what they should not eat it. They don't need to be reminded, everybody already knows that root beer float is bad for them.

Additional points:

1) When I was in Sweden/Denmark recently, I noticed people were taller and thinner. On average, the women were better looking. But there were comparatively few athletic women.

2) I'm skeptical of women saying they like weak men. It sounds like when women say they're ok with short guys or bald guys or guys who aren't rich or whatever. I just take it to mean they're willing to settle and they understand their position. The fact is that the men evaluated as being the sexiest in the world always or nearly always have significant strength, broad shoulders, et cetera.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

imo, in the US, the ideal physique is moderate muscle mass, low body fat, shredded stomach.

If you're below 5'8" you can go slightly bulkier to compensate for your height

All these physiques will make you appealing to women without making you look like a weirdo. It's about looking exceptionally fit and healthy, without looking like a roided gym rat.

And don't skip leg day

Is that what you call **moderate** muscle mass?

I'd expect all of those men are in the 95th percentile or higher for each of bench press, squat, and deadlift.

George St-Pierre, the second you guy you posted, is among the world's best fighters. There's nothing moderate about his physique.

 

[kj6723]

Is that what you call **moderate** muscle mass?

More or less. My expectations might be a little high because I've been very into fitness for the last 10+ years, but I don't think most people are going to look at any of those guys and think "he works out too much," as long as they aren't talking about it all the time as the poster above mentions, they won't be seen as weird for those physiques. It's the ideal balance between bulk and leanness.

It's when the physique hits powerlifting, bodybuilding type levels that it can start to look like a bit much to the casual observer. Not that there's anything wrong with powerlifting or bodybuilding, but it's not an ideal aesthetic, imo.

 

[shookwun]

I never talk about the gym. But then again I have been in this game for six years now. I don't have to preach to the choir like the new wave recruits who feel the need to post and instagram any point they get. Its a rookie type of reflection to let everyone know. I did the same baloney when I first started lifting.


As I have mentioned it goes beyond the added muscularity. I feel amazing after a list session and actively look forward to my next meal!

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

More or less. My expectations might be a little high because I've been very into fitness for the last 10+ years, but I don't think most people are going to look at any of those guys and think "he works out too much," as long as they aren't talking about it all the time as the poster above mentions, they won't be seen as weird for those physiques. It's the ideal balance between bulk and leanness.

It's when the physique hits powerlifting, bodybuilding type levels that it can start to look like a bit much to the casual observer. Not that there's anything wrong with powerlifting or bodybuilding, but it's not an ideal aesthetic, imo.

Those are guys who work out everyday for several hours a day.

It's part of their job.