No matter how hard I try I still cant cope with NW1:s

[BrightonBaldy]

I've been the guy who could pick up anybody by just looking at them, now I'm the bald guy who gets given clear "f*** off and stop insulting me" signals from women of all points on the ugly/fat/retarded scale..

When I speak to women over the telephone in work they always flirt, they always laugh and they always call back about random inane sh1t just to chat, the relationships I build that way in business are 100% personality led, which is what we're supposed to be aiming for. When I meet them face to face for the first time they go instantly cold, they didnt picture a bald guy, no matter what I do from there its always polite and we get work done. I always meet new buyers in informal settings first time out, normally for coffee/lunch, 4 years ago when hairloss was less obvious all follow up meetings would move onto pub lunchs with the obvious drinking that goes with it, nothing would happen sexually but there would always be more respect and openness. Now women always set up random travelodge meeting rooms with dull atmospheres. Even when we get our personalities accross, a lack of physical attraction shuts us off to the women we want to deck.

 

[Boondock]

When I speak to women over the telephone in work they always flirt, they always laugh and they always call back about random inane sh1t just to chat, the relationships I build that way in business are 100% personality led, which is what we're supposed to be aiming for. When I meet them face to face for the first time they go instantly cold, they didnt picture a bald guy, no matter what I do from there its always polite and we get work done. I always meet new buyers in informal settings first time out, normally for coffee/lunch, 4 years ago when hairloss was less obvious all follow up meetings would move onto pub lunchs with the obvious drinking that goes with it, nothing would happen sexually but there would always be more respect and openness. Now women always set up random travelodge meeting rooms with dull atmospheres. Even when we get our personalities accross, a lack of physical attraction shuts us off to the women we want to deck.

This is the sort of sh*t that really happens. People deny it, but it does.

We all know this subconsciously. That's why we're so concerned about being bald in the first place.

 

[toocoolforhair]

I imagine it's like talking to Angelina Jolie on the phone and then finding out she looks like Rosie O'Donnell.

 

[BrightonBaldy]

I'd say them turning out to be really fat is a better example, even then its not accurate.
If they turn out to be tubby then I just feel disappointed rather than the shock I see on their faces, people can be fat and ugly at any age or sex, people generally expect just old people to be bald.. so theres an obvious double take on faces when first seeing the forehead.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

To the original poster:

it seems like you want good looking women to give you a chance, but in a later post, you blast not so good looking women yourself. Sounds like a double standard there huh?

To the others:

You can't blast someone for having negative feelings when things continue to happen to them. I'm sorry but if you walked outside every day and broke your leg, would you continue to keep feeling positive that you can walk outside? I mean lets say it happens 8 out of 10 times you did it. Of course you would start thinking that way and no amount of therapy would take that away.

For me personally, I had a 3 year span where I did ok meeting girls/women. My hair had a ton to do with it. Since it all went, those opportunites went to ZERO. Not less but ZERO. I am in MUCH better shape than when I had hair, I have more money than when I had hair. The only times I even get a smile or a glimpse (and that is rare now) is when I have a hat on. When I am around anyone without one, not one. Not even close.

That is just fact.

Ironic thing is people used to blast me for letting being bald totally destroy my life and it did for a long time. Said I need to get out there and work and be productive. One guy here (Emex) claimed to give me this great job offer.

Well here is an update: I already did these things. I have been working my butt off for 2 years. Made myself one of the top in my field and make ad decent amount more than the "job" emex spoke about. 90 percent of my day is about work or thinking about work and getting better. But you know what, same thing. Not one smile, not one flirt, nothing. And yes I think about my hairloss all the time because I see almost everyone around me my age and even older with more hair or all of their hair. The few bald guys I notice are few and far between.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Congradulations on the job HP and thanks for the update.

 

[s.a.f]

Yeah all those NW1's find it hilarious.

Doesn't Larry David just pokes fun at his own baldness?
I could understand people being upset if the writer was an NW1

He does'nt poke fun at it, he tries to gain sympathy for it, wether the viewers the majority of which dont have this problem think it warrants it is another story.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

Congradulations on the job HP and thanks for the update.

Thanks man. How goes you?

I mean I had to kill myself to get in that position. Was not and is not easy and even now, with the economy, the chances of it going to crap pop up every day. But I pull through.

Goes to show people who had that theory about working out, eating well, working and making money to compensate, were not right.

 

[optimystic]

Well here is an update: I already did these things. I have been working my butt off for 2 years. Made myself one of the top in my field and make ad decent amount more than the "job" emex spoke about. 90 percent of my day is about work or thinking about work and getting better. But you know what, same thing. Not one smile, not one flirt, nothing. And yes I think about my hairloss all the time because I see almost everyone around me my age and even older with more hair or all of their hair. The few bald guys I notice are few and far between.

Well im sorry for your case but what are you gonna do give up?
Personally even though i have confidence in my looks (always had) i had never been one to get smiles out of ladies without approaching them first. That was the case even before my hairloss. I was friends with my girlfriend for 3 years before dating her (this was when i had hair) and now 2 years into the relationship i look like hitman (atleast every 2 weeks when i get a haircut)
It'll devestate me if my girlfriend left me, but i wont give up on myself and i believe i would still be able to pick up women.
Even though im bald now there are still some girl friends of mine who find me charming i can tell that if i was single i could hook up with any one of them. But the reason for that (even though i look good\am abit attractive) is not my looks. The reason for that is my charm, my personality. Im forward and i make alot of jokes and so that's why i score. Also im not shy with my dance moves or singing in karaoke...In other words even though i have no attention-grabbing hair i have an attention grabbing personality. Its not so out there that its desperate\annoying but its out there enough to be noticed.
Dont let the fact that you're bald be the only noticeable thing about yourself.
Also its not just enough to have money and abs or even great hair to be a ladies man.
If you have money ask people out to lunch or dinner, your treat
If you have abs, go to the beach or in places where you can take off your shirt and be sure to flex
If you're a funny person, get into more conversations
If you're a good dancer, get on the floor
If you have a nice smile, smile more. And if you look better serious, pout your lips all the time. And if your face is hideous, that's what ray bans are for!
And finally, if you're lucky enough to have hair, try and stroke it more in public... I really wish i did that more lol..
Also if you have hair always use the shampoos with the strong fruity smell. When i shave my head that smell barely lasts anymore...
but if you dont have hair, try all of the above...

 

[HatPrisoner91]

Well im sorry for your case but what are you gonna do give up?
Personally even though i have confidence in my looks (always had) i had never been one to get smiles out of ladies without approaching them first. That was the case even before my hairloss. I was friends with my girlfriend for 3 years before dating her (this was when i had hair) and now 2 years into the relationship i look like hitman (atleast every 2 weeks when i get a haircut)
It'll devestate me if my girlfriend left me, but i wont give up on myself and i believe i would still be able to pick up women.
Even though im bald now there are still some girl friends of mine who find me charming i can tell that if i was single i could hook up with any one of them. But the reason for that (even though i look good\am abit attractive) is not my looks. The reason for that is my charm, my personality. Im forward and i make alot of jokes and so that's why i score. Also im not shy with my dance moves or singing in karaoke...In other words even though i have no attention-grabbing hair i have an attention grabbing personality. Its not so out there that its desperate\annoying but its out there enough to be noticed.
Dont let the fact that you're bald be the only noticeable thing about yourself.
Also its not just enough to have money and abs or even great hair to be a ladies man.
If you have money ask people out to lunch or dinner, your treat
If you have abs, go to the beach or in places where you can take off your shirt and be sure to flex
If you're a funny person, get into more conversations
If you're a good dancer, get on the floor
If you have a nice smile, smile more. And if you look better serious, pout your lips all the time. And if your face is hideous, that's what ray bans are for!
And finally, if you're lucky enough to have hair, try and stroke it more in public... I really wish i did that more lol..
Also if you have hair always use the shampoos with the strong fruity smell. When i shave my head that smell barely lasts anymore...
but if you dont have hair, try all of the above...

I've long given up on that. Facing facts is something you have to do sometimes.

And no I probably have less hair than you do. I have been a Norwood 6 for years.

I would give it all up to just not be bald. Heck I'd taking balding any day of the week. A nice NW3 would be heaven for me. Id' just buzz it short (though longer than I have now which is nothing) and be content.

 

[qball01]

I've long given up on that. Facing facts is something you have to do sometimes.

And no I probably have less hair than you do. I have been a Norwood 6 for years.

I would give it all up to just not be bald. Heck I'd taking balding any day of the week. A nice NW3 would be heaven for me. Id' just buzz it short (though longer than I have now which is nothing) and be content.

what do you mean though? Given up on what and face what facts?

You've given up on cultivating a personality that people would be attracted to? You're facing the fact that there is nothing in the world that you can do that can get women/people to like you and that baldness is the sole reason for your misery?

I mean...I dunno what you expect in regards to females. You think it all comes down to whether or not they give you glances first? You realize that the men who are good with women and lack in physical attractiveness (and guess what...they exist) actually go up to women, even ones they don't know, and strike up conversations with them...they make an effort to meet women and generate attraction. They don't just wait around for women to approach THEM because it rarely happens, sometimes it never will. You actually have to be willing to put aside all the bullshit in your mind and go out and meet women, and give them a reason to like you. Yeah..you have to put yourself in what will be extremely uncomfortable situations at first if you want to make progress. Guess what...its not easy! But don't just blame one physical trait on all your failures. I find it ridiculous that you're resentful of the fact that since they don't all smile and flirt with you at first glance that you think it means that every single woman is going to find you repulsive no matter what.

Making money, getting in shape and getting tanned...that "advice" isn't going to do sh*t for you unless you make the mental changes as well. And unfortunately, its very obvious you have a horrible self image and you see yourself as some sort of "bald loser that nobody could ever like." And then you wonder why sh*t always seems to stay the same?

 

[HatPrisoner91]

not what I said at all. Don't try to read into things; it makes you look stupid.

I've faced facts in that I don't think it's gonna happen and I focus everything on things that I know can happen. I talk to women all the time through work but I know for a fact how they see me.

it's just unreal how some people expect you to just keep smiling and being positive no matter what happens.

Bottom line is this: I focus on the things I can do. Simple. Hell, I don't even post here much anymore because of the nonsense that people who have no idea what it's like try to "preach about". Thanks.

 

[Obsidian]

You finally got a job? Good for you. Have you tried moving out of your parent's place yet?

 

[TheGrayMan2001]

Good grief some of the people in this thread are the biggest losers ever.

I am 100% behind the belief that, even if you were a NW1, you would have other confidence issues instead of hair, you'd be whining about your eyes being too far apart or having tiny genitaila.

Get over yourself. Tons of other people go through this. It's annoying. It's obnoxious. We shouldn't be losing our hair. But you're not going to die because of it, it isn't as bad as having cancer or some crap.

Ok, I've gotta leave this before I start saying horrible things.

 

[Boondock]

Obviously it's not as bad as cancer, but it's a death-knell for your hopes of pre-marriage relationships with women, unless you're in the 10% of guys who can pull off the bald look.

 

[peter079]

Bald guys that try to over compensate by exaggerating their bubbly personality, look like the biggest tossers.
And when they go over-board, there is always someone in the group with the "Yeah......But your're bald" phrase, to put them back in their place.

 

[TheGrayMan2001]

Obviously it's not as bad as cancer, but it's a death-knell for your hopes of pre-marriage relationships with women, unless you're in the 10% of guys who can pull off the bald look.

100% wrong.

Does it change the game? Definitely. Destroy your hopes? No. Only yours, my friend.

 

[cuebald]

Bald guys that try to over compensate by exaggerating their bubbly personality, look like the biggest tossers.
And when they go over-board, there is always someone in the group with the "Yeah......But your're bald" phrase, to put them back in their place.

Precisely this.
You can always tell when a man is insecure about his baldness when he tries to act all "Alpha Male" around everyone. They are ALWAYS put in their place when someone says "you're bald".

 

[uncomfortable man]

And what Norwood are you, grayman?

 

[Obsidian]

Precisely this.
You can always tell when a man is insecure about his baldness when he tries to act all "Alpha Male" around everyone. They are ALWAYS put in their place when someone says "you're bald".

So what he should let people walk over him and let them get to him? I know you do and people aren't even saying mean things to you.