Post Finasteride Syndrome Or Post Baldness Syndrom

[Afro_Vacancy]

I think a better way to phrase is to say that "it's mainly attraction". Looks of course is a crucial factor in building attraction but there is also a psychological component to it, especially in long term relationships that last for years. From what I have learned, a man should NEVER EVER appear vulnerable to women. Never appear to care about her too much, at least don't show it. As a human being we get attached to our partner. It's ok to show care but don't go overboard with women. They get repulsed by it. I wish I had known all this before. I could have saved my marriage.

What went wrong with your marriage? Were you too nice?

 

[pjhair]

What went wrong with your marriage? Were you too nice?

When I got married, my wife was still in college. I had to relocate to a different city two thousand miles away for work. She was supposed to graduate college in two years and then join me. Despite the distance, every thing was smooth for about a year. She was madly in love with me. I have anxiety issues. One day I saw on news that some women who was working alone in coffee shop was harmed by some psychopath. That triggered anxiety in me about my wife as she lived alone too. As she lived so far away from me I started calling her a few times a day to make sure she was alright. She hated that. She kept warning me to stop but I simply didn't listen. Incidences like this led her to eventually lose attraction for me over time. Looking back at my relationship, her love for me was at it's pinnacle when I didn't show excessive care.

It wasn't as though I was just anxious about her. I felt like that about other members in my family too. Harm to my loved ones is the single biggest fear of my life. My brother once went to Nepal with his friends and didn't return on the day he was supposed to be back. I was paralyzed with anxiety and didn't calm down until I called the hotel he was staying in and got in touch with him. However, you can get away with this kind of anxiety with your other family members but usually not with your wife or girl friend.

If you think about it, the love between a husband-wife or girlfriend - boyfriend is the most selfish love of all. You are easily replaceable. A brother doesn't stop loving you just because you have another brother. Parents don't stop loving you just because they have other children. A women will stop loving a man as soon as her attraction for him dwindles or if she finds another man. You are useless for her at that point. Also, you can share your anxiety and fears with your other family members. You can truly be yourself. Not so much with a women.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

When I got married, my wife was still in college. I had to relocate to a different city two thousand miles away for work. She was supposed to graduate college in two years and then join me. Despite the distance, every thing was smooth for about a year. She was madly in love with me. I have anxiety issues. One day I saw on news that some women who was working alone in coffee shop was harmed by some psychopath. That triggered anxiety in me about my wife as she lived alone too. As she lived so far away from me I started calling her a few times a day to make sure she was alright. She hated that. She kept warning me to stop but I simply didn't listen. Incidences like this led her to eventually lose attraction for me over time. Looking back at my relationship, her love for me was at it's pinnacle when I didn't show excessive care.

It wasn't as though I was just anxious about her. I felt like that about other members in my family too. Harm to my loved ones is the single biggest fear of my life. My brother once went to Nepal with his friends and didn't return on the day he was supposed to be back. I was paralyzed with anxiety and didn't calm down until I called the hotel he was staying in and got in touch with him. However, you can get away with this kind of anxiety with your other family members but usually not with your wife or girl friend.

If you think about it, the love between a husband-wife or girlfriend - boyfriend is the most selfish love of all. You are easily replaceable. A brother doesn't stop loving you just because you have another brother. Parents don't stop loving you just because they have other children. A women will stop loving a man as soon as her attraction for him dwindles or if she finds another man. You are useless for her at that point. Also, you can share your anxiety and fears with your other family members. You can truly be yourself. Not so much with a women.

Was there finasteride in this timeline? It may have made you softer and needier.

My impression is women hate neediness in men. They say they like sweetness and flowers and chocolate, but it should be extremely rare at most.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

It's not PUA... just some girls like when the guy is not loyal/serious. They feel it is a challenge;
But, yes, looks matter of course. More often, those non available guys are the most good looking ones.

Selection effect.

On average the best looking guys put in less effort, because they have more options.

 

[hairblues]

Was there finasteride in this timeline? It may have made you softer and needier.

My impression is women hate neediness in men. They say they like sweetness and flowers and chocolate, but it should be extremely rare at most.

we dont like obsessive and unusual neediness in long term relationships.

no one likes that.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

we dont like obsessive and unusual neediness in long term relationships.

no one likes that.

Where's the threshold for obsessive and unusual neediness?

 

[hairblues]

It's not PUA... just some girls like when the guy is not loyal/serious. They feel it is a challenge;
But, yes, looks matter of course. More often, those non available guys are the most good looking ones.

this is true.

I was like this in my 20s i loved push/pull love/hate.

made me feel alive and it fed my writing which i was very into when i was in my 20s.

relationship drama was delicious at that age.

 

[Patrick_Bateman]

Was there finasteride in this timeline? It may have made you softer and needier.

My impression is women hate neediness in men. They say they like sweetness and flowers and chocolate, but it should be extremely rare at most.

Did something go wrong when you were on finasteride? Must've been the finasteride then bro.

I know this one guy he popped a 1mg finasteride, the next day he got hit by a car. Stay away from finasteride bros!

 

[pjhair]

Was there finasteride in this timeline? It may have made you softer and needier.

My impression is women hate neediness in men. They say they like sweetness and flowers and chocolate, but it should be extremely rare at most.

It was about 3 years after I took finasteride. But like said, I have always been an anxious person. Even as a child, I used to worry about something happening to my parents or siblings. Basically, once I truly start caring about someone, I am doomed to feel excessively anxious about them.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

But it is not the same as neediness...

I won't object if you send me a box of chocolates. My preferences are dark chocolate + pistachio, milk chocolate + cayenne + cinnamon, gianduja, almond praline, and dark chocolate over salty licorice. For a drink, I'll take thick Italian hot chocolate.

 

[hairblues]

Where's the threshold for obsessive and unusual neediness?

i mean has a family member never been up your *** too much and it annoys the sh*t out of you and seems negative instead of positive although they act as if its positive?

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Did something go wrong when you were on finasteride? Must've been the finasteride then bro.

I know this one guy he popped a 1mg finasteride, the next day he got hit by a car. Stay away from finasteride bros!

It's a legitimate question to PJ as he had a significant reaction to finasteride.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

i mean has a family member never been up your *** too much and it annoys the sh*t out of you and seems negative instead of positive although they act as if its positive?

Yeah my mom, but that can't define the threshold as it's so far beyond that line.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Lol My point is, bringing flowers and being needie are not the same!
I love gifts.

Gifts are good, but I bet they work better if they're very rare.

 

[pjhair]

Did youu try doing something about it? I mean, not only regarding your wife at the time, but in general?
I used to be very anxious about being left, etc. Felt pathetic. Then, I toughed a lot, now I am very independant (too much even). know it is not the same thing, but you can work on it.

I have never really sought any help for anxiety. However, I manage it by avoiding situations that can trigger anxiety in me. I can probably benefit from cognitive behavior therapy but have never really looked into it. As my life is good right now and the only thing I need to worry about is hair loss, I don't think I need the therapy. However, I plan on to never having kids as that will only mean having more loved ones and more triggers of anxiety. I don't have any paternal instinct anyway and just see kids as burden so that helps.

 

[pjhair]

Gifts are good, but I bet they work better if they're very rare.

This.

 

[hairblues]

Yes. Not too rare, though

gifts are good

 

[pjhair]

More than one call a week.

JK

Even one call a week may be too much for some women. I have a friend whose wife is from Kyrgyzstan. One summer she went to home with their daughter. My friend used to call her once a week to check up on them. When she came back to the US she told him she was annoyed by it. She told him, "Why did you call me every week? I would have called you if I needed to talk to you." This may be an extreme situation though.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Even one call a week may be too much for some women. I have a friend whose wife is from Kyrgyzstan. One summer she went to home with their daughter. My friend used to call her once a week to check up on them. When she came back to the US she told him she was annoyed by it. She told him, "Why did you call me every week? I would have called you if I needed to talk to you." This may be an extreme situation though.

Sounds to me like she doesn't love him.

 

[pjhair]

Sounds to me like she doesn't love him.

Yes, I get that feeling too.